00:02

The Undertaker turned to see neither of the two criminals had moved. The hand around her ankle was attached by means of, well, she couldn't really discern what they were. They looked like tentacles, they looked gross, and they looked like a bitch to deal with. They began retracting back into Kakuzu's arm, pulling her along with it. She drew her blade and cut herself free, though the hand still had a firm grip.

She rolled backwards, released a simple water jutsu, and jumped out the window. She heard the scythe wielder yell out as he followed maniacally. She ripped the hand from her ankle as she spun through the air, dashing forward the moment her feet hit the ground. She turned, tossed the struggling hand into the air, and threw her last kunai. It pierced the center of the hand, bringing it flying toward her pursuer's face.

00:04

Hidan smacked it away and swung for her, but she was already a murder of crows taking to the trees. He let out a dark chuckle.

"Fuckin' Konoha nin and their damned trees." He rolled his neck, releasing a few pops. "Looks like I get to have some fun today."

00:07

"I let the Boss know we've found her." The larger mercenary said as he dropped beside his companion. "Let's make this quick." His disembodied hand slithered back into place. The ANBU watched from her shadows as a mass began to sprout from Kakuzu's back. A mask emerged from beneath his cloak and set fire to the surroundings.

The Undertaker ran from the trees, closing in on the caster with a clone on the other side. His fists shot out to catch each of them by the neck. Lightning struck down behind him and her arm burst through his ribcage, light jumping from her fingertips. The clones in his hands disappeared, and the kunoichi felt bruises bloom around her larynx.

00:31

The original flickered away as the heavy scythe came crashing down like a guillotine. She materialized beside Hidan and brought her shin to his lower ribs, snapping his xiphoid process. She was gone again as he doubled over in pain, a laugh audible beneath the roaring flames.

00:33

"More…" Hidan's head snapped up as he screamed into the growing smoke. "Gimme more!" his laugh was more robust as he leapt onto a burning branch. Kakuzu sent a whirlwind over Hidan's shoulder, originating from a second mask and creating an inferno. Hidan snapped around to see their mark whack her head against a thick oak.

"Watch your back, Hidan," he growled. "This one likes to get behind us." A branch collapsed above her, but she kicked away quick enough. They watched her land deeper into the burning forest, her right arm coated in Kakuzu's blood, her left hand covered in her own.

00:45

Three boulder sized balls of flame raced toward her, and she darted away, hopping from tree to tree. She paused before the first mask, the one that cast the jutsu, and sliced through it with her chakra infused short sword. Kakuzu caught her by her ponytail and yanked her to the ground.

She landed at his feet, her head swimming in a black fog. She felt cold steal drag across her shoulder as Hidan's sadistic laughter rang in her ears. She pulled three explosive tags from her pouch, sticking one to the tentacles that held her and tossing the other two in the direction of their faces.

00:55

They exploded mid flight and the ninja flickered away in different directions. The Undertaker faced her foes on unsteady feet, and fought just to see where they landed. She recognized the silhouette of Hidan, dragging his foot across the ground. Even ten yards away, she could hear his laughter.

Then the pain ripped through her, like a skewer through a rabbit. A cry ripped itself from her throat as she fell to her knees. Blood spilled from her abdomen, and she desperately gathered her chakra to the wound and held it through undamaged armor. Heat seeped through her uniform, soaking her flack jacket and leaving behind a growing cold. The last thing she processed before the darkness washed in was the hard packed earth against a cracked skull and the forest shattering around her.

1:13

"It's done." He towered over the dying shinobi as the organization's leader spoke from somewhere within his temporal lobe. "We'll be there in twenty-eight hours."

"Boss is calling a meeting, huh?" Hidan asked as he knelt beside his handiwork. He hooked his finger beneath the mask and ripped it from her face.

"At the Tsuchi no Kuni safe house." He joined his partner on the ground, squeezing her jaw so her mouth was forced open. He dropped a pill in and watching it dissolve before letting her face fall.

"Chakra inhibitors?" Hidan assumed. The masked monster let out a grunt and wrapped the girl in his fibers.

"Let's go."

They left the forest burning behind them, and headed northwest. They ran throughout the night, passing the limp body between them every time the other began to bitch. They skirted around Ishigakure during the predawn hours, and made it well into the Land of Earth by early afternoon.

"Oi," Hidan suddenly halted on a particularly uninteresting rock. "Can't we at least get something to eat? I'm fuckin' hungry!"

"No." Kakuzu continued on, dragging his prize by the back of her collar. The white haired zealot complained behind him until they finally stopped at a roadside café just after dusk. The proprietor served their meal with shaky hands as his daughter hid in the small kitchen. They asked no questions about the bloodied body the missing-nin kept at their feet.

"You're paying, you know." The elder tugged his mask from his lower face and began slurping his udon.

"Whatever." Hidan was too preoccupied with his steaming beef stir-fry. They ate in relative silence after that, and left the money on the table for the missing owner.

A few hours later, they arrived at an opening in the base of a mountain, it's presence hidden in stones and shadow. The barrier accepted their chakra signatures, and dropped just long enough for them to enter the Akatsuki safe house.

They followed a winding cave until they reached a large cavern, a dark lake receding beneath the far wall. There were eight figures scattered about in the darkness, waiting. Kakuzu tossed the package to the center of the cavern while Hidan perched on a broken stalagmite.

"That's her."

"Huh?" The voice was young and loud. The boy it belonged to stepped forward, his blond hair swaying. "The Undertaker is some chick?"

"I recognize that hair," came the deeper, almost gravely tone of the Swordsman of the Mist. He pondered the short coppery hair with the long ponytail at her neck. "Itachi," Hoshigaki, Kisame turned to the young man beside him, unfazed by the glowing red of his eyes. "Isn't that the ANBU who let us leave Konoha a year ago?"

The Uchiha approached slowly, and crouched beside the near corpse. He reached for her chin, a sickening feeling taking root in his gut. He tilted her face from the floor and froze. Her face was covered in dirt and blood and scrapes, but he could still see the pallor of her skin beneath it all. He could see the darkened flesh around her neck, and all he smelled was blood and traces of almond soap. He forced his face to stay neutral, his chakra to remain clam, and focused his heart into a steady pace.

"It is." Kazumi. He should've known she was the Undertaker. Should've predicted she'd get roped into the Akatsuki somehow.

Fate is cruel that way, isn't it?