A/N: Well, I am very shocked. I have some true fans out there! People that stick wwith me through it so that you guys so much! This isn't as long as you're used to for me, but I think it's a pretty good chapter. Well the show goes on. Lets get 15 reviews for this chapter eh?(: I love you guys' feedback!

Disclaimer: I now own a Samsung Galaxy S…but not Twilight)':

Lavender-Chapter 2

It wasn't so bad. The plane ride that is. Once you get over the retards that stare at you like a fucking fat elf, it's really quite enjoyable. I listened to my iPod the whole ride. The ride was long but moving vehicles seem to put me to sleep, so I had not problems passing out after 20 minutes.

Dreams. They say that they are the product of our secret desires. The ones we push to the back of our minds while awake. I think that's a load of bull shit. To me dreams are our everyday thoughts, exaggerated into a twisted fantasy.

For example on the plane I dreamt of my dad turning into The Hulk and cuttings my head off with a kickass karate chop.

But I could be wrong. I could just be fucked up in the head and in need of medication that detaches me from reality. They could be right, whoever the fuck 'they' might be.

Have you ever seriously pondered who 'they' are?

'They' who say and apple a day will keep the doctor away.

'They' who say not to stand by the microwave when you're pregers.

'They' say a bunch of useless shit in my opinion. But then again who gives a fuck what I say. I'm just a kid.

Renee had told me that Uncle Jake was going to meet me at the Bush Intercontinental airport, by baggage claim.

I was on the lookout for a big Indian looking dude. Oh excuse me Native American would be more politically correct huh? I hate politics.

After a very uneventful landing and being harassed by a security guard to remove my shades I was more than ready to get the fuck away from people.

You see I'm not a people person.

I was walking trying to avoid any more run-ins with the 'law' when I heard someone calling my name.

I probably looked like a fucking nut case looking around in all different directions but when I say my Uncle walking towards me it was all gravy.

"Bella! Look at you you've grown up on ol' Uncle Jake." he smiled at me. Not one of those forced 'I'm just smiling so you won't flip and curse me out' smiles. But a genuine grin, one that belongs in a category with kittens, rainbows, sugar, spice, and everything nice!

I forced a grin back at him, which probably made me look like I had just caught a whiff of the wrong end of a dirty male prostitute.

"Hey there. I'm sick of people. Let's blow this popsicle stand."

Jacob stared at me for a bit, probably trying to tell if I was serious or not. I was serious as Klansman on Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

Jacob chuckled at me and grabbed one of my bags, the biggest one. Brownie points to Uncle Jake!

We made our way to his pick up. Which let me tell ya has definitely seen better days. That thing probably roamed to earth with the dinosaurs.

"So," I started looking at Jake seriously, "Adam and Eve had their first time in this thing huh. How'd you get the cum off the seat?" I smirked when he choked on his spit. He laughed loudly, almost obnoxiously, and then shook his head.

"Respect your elders Bellsey, this truck is old enough to be your great-grandfather. Don't hate." I chuckled at my uncle's attempt at coolness then threw my bags on the bed of the truck.

"Move your ass old man I ain't got all day!" I yelled loudly, gathering some stares in our direction.

"S'cuse me!" Jake said climbing into the cab of the truck.

"Dude cool your jets fighter plane, I was talking to the truck."

Jake howled out a laugh, which by the way scared the shit out of me, and started the truck.

"We're gunna get along just fine Bella."

I looked out of the window at the people rushing past us coming and going. Talking on phones, and holding on to the leashes attached to overzealous toddlers. I hate to admit it, but maybe it's time I left big cities alone. I hope Wayside had at least one lesbian.

I looked back at Jacob and grinned a little.

"Just fine indeed Unc."

The ride from Houston to Wayside was...long, and fucking hot until Jake's dinosaur age a/c started up good.

Wayside was currently in a drought. And temperatures were hitting the double digits every day.

I could feel the sunburns starting already.

Isn't that just fucking boss.

After two hours in The Beast, as I am now calling the pickup, we were finally zooming past the 'Welcome to Wayside: Home of the cows' (true story that's what the fucking sign said) sign. To me it might as well have said, 'Welcome to celibacy'. Because there's no way I was getting any in the hick town.

The first thing I saw was a cow, a big black and white cow. With utters and everything.

"Jacob! Look a cow!" I yell excitedly while pointing at the cow like a little kid. He laughed at me, douche bag.

"Bella, this is the home of the cows."

I stopped bouncing in my seat and tried to recover from my momentary lapse in coolness. "Touché..."

Since it was still quite early in the day Jake took me on a tour around Wayside. Needless to say it wasn't much of a tour. I saw the hospital, which I would most likely be visiting within the first month. I walk like a diseased spider monkey. I saw the town square, the elementary and high school, and we went through the one and only neighborhood. Fortunately Uncle Jacob doesn't live there. He lives in a lake house. We pulled up to a two story cabin. For the briefest of moments I contemplated if he'd brought me out here to kill me, you know because that's something you have to seriously consider when dealing with a cabin.

Jacobs's too big grin quelled all thoughts of murder in my sick head though; he'd looks like the type to scream like a bitch at the site of blood.

"So this is it!" He boomed after jumping out of The Beast.

I carefully climbed out; when gravity hates you like it hates me you have to do everything carefully, and looked up at the house. It seemed to be in decent shape, but seeing as to how I don't know anything about building things my opinion doesn't matter much.

"It looks nice Jake, real uh woody."

He blinked at me.

"Get your bags Bella," he chuckled.

I scoffed at him, "Hey that was a compliment!" I grabbed my backpack and one of my suitcases off of the back of the pickup and stormed to the door. Well, I would have stormed, but the ground suddenly looked like it needed a hug, so I fell face first on to it. You know to show some love.

Jacob laughed at me, loudly.

Dickface.

The rest of our day was spent with unpacking. Dear unpacking how I loathe thee! My room was pretty boss though. It's long almost taking up the entire up stairs and had two windows one facing the street and one facing the lake. Jacob had put a queen size bed in it and the upstairs bathroom was attached to it. The closet was probably bigger than I needed; I wear cargo shorts and random shirts every day. It doesn't change.

But I gave Uncle Jacob his major brownie points for that. He said he basically sleeps in his garage so taking the smaller room was not a problem for him.

As we were feasting on some lovely pizza, ordered out of course, he dropped the bomb on me though.

"Bells you gotta start school tomorrow."

I might have thrown up a little.

High school hates me. No lie it really does

The next morning I woke up to Jacob screaming some random country song. He sounded like a dying squid; I don't think that was a good day to wake up at all.

"JAKE SHUT UP MAN! BEFORE THE NEIGHBORS CALL ANIMAL RESCUE ON US!" I yelled down stairs before dragging myself to the bathroom.

Morning showers are like heaven.

After I cleansed my body of any nastiness yesterday might have brought on and rid my teeth of any stray pizza bits I started my daily struggle with the tangled mass of crap I call hair.

I broke the handle off of my favorite brush. Fucking great.

I got my clothes together, grumbling angrily the whole time mind you, in a hurry. I have never been known for my timeliness.

"Bella bring your ass kid!" Jake hollered from the bottom of the stairs. "You can't rush perfection Unc." I mumbled to myself as I pulled my white tank top over my head. After looping a random belt threw my cargo shorts I slipped my feet into my old beat up black Chucks. Of course I stopped in front of my mirror to admire myself.

I stared into my own eyes and smirked. Even with just a plain ponytail I looked great. Except for my eyes. I hate my eyes.

"Bella, let's go!"

I snatched my shades off of my dresser and grabbed my backpack before yanking my door open.

"Alright man. No need to roid rage out on me."

I clambered into The Beast and threw my head back dramatically.

"I'm going to die."

Getting my schedule and checking in with the fat ass in the office made my boss ass morning, that much more incredible. Really I am just all rainbows and sunshine.

I'm also fluent in Sarcasm if you couldn't tell.

I was walking, 1st danger, looking at my schedule instead of where I was going, 2nd danger, totally not paying attention to where I was going, I swear I'm not suicidal.

So, it won't surprise you when I tell you I slammed right into a random dude.

I busted my ass of course. The universe is trying to kill me.

Fuck you universe.

"Oh my goodness, are you okay?" An Asian looking kid asked me. He would be consider cute to straight girls if he had less acne and some frikkin' shampoo.

I jumped up from my oh so comfortable place on the ground and dusted some invisible dust off of my shirt.

"Yeah, I'm cool." I said trying to get around him. He was giving me the willies.

He stepped in front of my path before I could get away from him though. "Uh you're the new kid right?"

I gave him my best smile, which really isn't that great, and nodded before trying to carryon on my way. He stepped in front of me again though.

Before he could offer me his help or ask me out of something I interrupted him. "Listen dude get the hell out of my way I'm trying to be nice now. Jeezz."

I pushed past him and proceeded to get myself lost in the little ass school.

I finally found my math class 10 minutes after the tardy bell of course. I walked in trying to be all discreet and such, but I guess when you're 10 minutes late discretion is not an option.

"Mrs. Swan," the pedophile looking teacher drawled out. "Nice of you to join us."

I grinned at him more than prepared to make one of my sarcastic ass remarks but a girl; well I should say fucking model walked into the classroom. She just smiled at uh, Mr. Pruitt, and proceeded to make her way to a seat in the back of the class.

My mouth dropped open. That bastard didn't even utter a word to her. And I'm the new kid!

I already hate this ball-chinned asshole. I rolled my eyes at him before going to the only available seat in the class, which was next to the Goddess that walked in after me.

She had the longest prettiest blonde hair ever in life, and deep blue eyes that made the oceans look like shit water. From what my eyes caught when she walked past me she also had curves in every good place imaginable.

I sat in the seat and put my head down, no sense in staring at the girl and freaking her out, I mean everything about her said hotness, but it also screamed STRAIGHT!

Sometime in between my pouting at how I was going to die of sexual frustration in this town and ignoring Mr. Dickhead I fell asleep.

In my dream I was in one of the fields I had seen on side of the road surrounded by cows and little kids with pitchforks.

Then all at once their eyes turned black and they came at me.

I jerked awake and screamed, "I'M IN HILLBILLY HELL!" I slowly opened my eyes and looked around trying to control my breathing and heart.

It took like 30 seconds to realize I was in Mr. Pruitt's class. But the people were different meaning those bastards had let me sleep straight threw the bell.

Great tardy for another fucking class, goddamn universe!

Then I registered giggling from next to me. I looked to my left and I forgot how to think.

"Well," she started with the most adorable southern drawl I have ever heard. "I must be Hillbilly Satan, but my momma named me Mary Alice." She smiled at me and I stopped breathing all together.

God bless Texas.

A/N: *GASP!* Alice is a hick in this fic? Yes ma'am and er sir? Did you like it? Love it? HATE IT? Tell me in a review! I'll have the next chapter up by Tuesday is this chapter gets 22 reviews, why 22? Because I like that number! But if it gets 15 I'll have it by next Friday. So…REVIEW!

Love,

JetPlane