AN: So if I'm honest I'm not really sure yet where all this is going but oh well…sometimes the best adventures have no destination in sight. As always reviews are greatly appreciated!
Mr. Carson had been unusually quiet on the walk from the train station back to the house, Mrs. Hughes simply chalked it up to the exhaustion of the day, in fact most of the younger staff were barely able to drag their limbs back to the house it seemed. All in all the day had been a success, everyone had enjoyed themselves and while she was certain a fight with Mr. Carson was in the near future she was still delighting in the happiness of the day. Her hand still felt slightly tingly from holding onto him for so long. As she looked at his profile she couldn't help but giggle, he had wanted to go to the museum on such a beautiful day! Though on second thought she did recall how excited he had been by the idea of the museum. At that moment she decided that she would ask Lady Grantham to permit him an early half day so he could enjoy the museum, or perhaps several, before the party returned to York. Content with herself she straightened her gaze towards the sidewalk ahead of her.
Mr. Carson was feeling very irritated, in fact his annoyance was increasing with every step. How dare she say such things?! That he was a butler and not a man. To him, they had always been one in the same, a man can provide for himself and others if he chose, his life in service had given him financial freedom, success, all the things he had always wanted. All so intrinsically linked with his manhood. How could she make him feel so inadequate? She could probably retire within the week and happily go move on to another life but he couldn't. He was stuck, and perhaps he would never get himself unstuck. But why couldn't he be a man while also being a stuck butler?
By the time they reached the house the swell of anger in him had almost hit its limit. She had noted in him a distinct change in his strides, he was angry, about what she could not discern. Probably anger over his own vulnerability or perhaps her outlandish behavior, what ever it was it would certainly be the flint for a fine fight indeed. But Mr. Carson surprised her, when they returned to the house he had left quickly and gone upstairs. A while later she saw him head up towards the servants quarters and decided to approach Lady Grantham.
She had found both her employers in the library and cautiously approached, knowing full well she was pushing the boards of their generosity.
"Hello Mrs. Hughes," Lady Grantham said, "How was the day at the beach? Carson reports all smiles."
"Yes, it was lovely m'lady. I think the entire staff had a grand time. Expect…" she faltered here, perhaps this really was being too pushy.
"Yes Mrs. Hughes, was someone unhappy with the trip?" Lady Grantham said getting a bit concerned.
"No, not at all. It simply, Mr. Carson had originally suggested, in fact rallied rather hard for a trip to the museum. Which you can easily understand did not receive much support from the younger staff. And while Mr. Carson did have an enjoyable time at the seaside, I believe he would very much like to visit a few London museums before the return to York."
"Well that isn't a surprise," Lord Grantham added. "London has the worlds best museums."
"Indeed it does," Mrs. Hughes agreed "however Mr. Carson has no free time available until after our return. I was hoping, if it would not upset anyone to allow Mr. Carson a half day before we leave so he might enjoy the sights a bit. I of course would remain in the house and could easily handle any issues that might arise in his absence." She said, her plea sounding a bit more desperate then she had anticipated.
"Well Mrs. Hughes, while that is a very reasonable and lovely request we have already given Mr. Carson the rest of today off. He came in here a short while ago asking if he could advance a half day for the rest of today, and seeing as how the day is almost done and we will be out for the evening we indulged him." Lady Grantham said.
Mrs. Hughes was a bit taken aback, she would have thought Mr. Carson would have mentioned such a thing to her.
"Oh well, I suppose I've bothered you for no reason. I'm sorry m'lady." Mrs. Hughes said, trying to make her escape now that she had embarrassed herself fully.
"I'm rather surprised he hadn't told you." Lord Grantham said.
"Well I have been in my sitting room working on accounts since we've returned, likely he didn't want to disturbed me." She lied, she hated doing it, especially to her employers but she lied. She wanted so desperately to save face and a lie and a retreat now seemed her only options. "If fact I must really be getting back downstairs. Thank you for your time." She said and began her descent back downstairs. She vaguely heard niceties from Lord and Lady Grantham as she left the room, but the only things her mind could entertain were ideas of why Mr. Carson had not mentioned anything to her. Was he upset with her?
When she returned downstairs she found Mr. Carson in his pantry putting on his evening coat. She noted he had changed into a much more becoming suit, and put on a scent Mrs. Hughes could only imagine was a rather expensive cologne.
"Are you leaving Mr. Carson? We've only just returned." She said, laughing slightly to hide her concern at his unusual behavior.
"Well Mrs. Hughes, though its hardly your business I am heading out. His lordship has generously given me the rest of the evening off and I intend to enjoy myself." He said, examining his appearance in the mirror and checking his pocket watch.
"Did you not enjoy the seaside?" She said, slowly moving closer to him, in a vain hope he might lower his voice and speak something private to her.
"The seaside is not a place a simple butler would enjoy. Good evening." He said tipping his hat and exiting.
Mrs. Hughes stood back, rather shocked by the whole exchange. Had he not enjoyed holding her hand? She had felt something between them, silly as it had been. She knew full well he did not have any romantic inclination towards her, that would be beyond the bounds of his life. But still, what would cause him to act thusly?
Mrs. Hughes turned quickly and rounded the corner to run right into Mrs. Patmore.
"Oh goodness me, I'm sorry Mrs. Patmore, I didn't see you there."
"It's alright Mrs. Hughes, I'll admit I had concealed myself a bit." She admitted.
"Mrs. Patmore, do you suppose Mr. Carson heard us on the train? I thought he had been sitting farther back but... Well it's the only explanation I can think of."
"By the smell of him Mrs. Hughes, I think he did."
Mr. Carson returned to the house several hours later, most of the staff had long since gone to bed.
As he sat in his office, looking over the neglected ledgers he considered his evening. It had been enjoyable, he had attained his goal, he now felt like a strong, virile man, however much to his dismay the effects were quickly disappearing as he looked at the ledgers. In fact, as he glanced around the room he felt his humanness, the primal feelings the evening had awarded him melting away and the harsh reality of an enslaved life return.
Closing his eyes he tried to hold on to any shreds of humanity he could when suddenly there was a light knock.
"I was wondering when you would get in." She said softly from the doorframe, a cup of tea held tightly in her hand, the ends of her nightdress and robe brushing the ground as she moved into the room towards him.
"You needn't have waited for me Mrs. Hughes," he said in a manor harsher then he had intended, at her slight recoil he added, "I'm a big boy." And with that he giggled slightly as he stood up to leave.
That action however would prove the fatal blow, for as he stood up a rush of air came off him and waded towards Mrs. Hughes. She was suddenly engulfed in the faded scent of his cologne and an over powering additional scent, a feminine one. She recognized it at once as one of the cheap perfumes sold in cheapest shops in London.
He looked at her, seeing the recognition and understanding in her eyes. They squared off for a moment, neither daring to make the first move.
Finally he spoke as he saw the tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.
"I'm rather tired Mrs. Hughes, I think I will head to bed." He said, still not moving.
"I imagine you are tired Mr. Carson, I will leave you to your bed." She said, allowing all her unbridled anger to come behind the word your. "And a piece of advice Mr. Carson, scrub the lipstick off your neck before you go to bed, or else tomorrow everyone will know your secret." And with that she left his pantry and hurried up the stairs to her cold bed.