Chapter 2 Of The Deepest Darkest Corners of John Watson's Soul

I really hope you guys like this one. Again this is a multi chapter story so the plot will be building each chapter. Thank you all for the lovely story alerts, favorites, and reviews, you made my day. This chapter is the confrontation after Sherlock's confession and John's escape, plus the beginnings of a case.

Warning for chapter: Descriptions of crimes, crime scenes.

I have no beta so all grammar errors are on me.

Disclaimer: I don't own, but I want to so badly.

John wandered around for close to an hour trying to collect his thoughts and get himself back under control before returning to Baker Street. He knew he cared deeply for Sherlock. Knew he couldn't bear to be separated from him. Knew that if Sherlock ever found out about that thing that he would be disgusted and leave John, most likely forever. Knew if they got any closer Sherlock would figure it out. But it was so hard because for the first time John felt just a hint of hope, hope that someone could love him and he could love them back.

Mycroft was right about his trust issues, but he didn't know what they were caused by, not even his therapist did. His mind started to put up the barriers that usually came up around events or relationships this emotional. It was a defense mechanism to keep his heart safe, to keep it from being pulverized into tiny pieces one more time. When he became a soldier it made it easier to slip into this state of being. The army gave him an escape from home, a calling, a distraction, and a discipline to hide his roiling emotions beneath the surface. The army gave him back control over his own life, it taught him how to protect himself, and it let him help and protect others.

As he reached the door to 221B his mind decided that he would tell Sherlock that he couldn't do it, that he just felt friendship for him, that he didn't want Sherlock like that. Basically he would lie. John's feet carried him up the stairs almost robotically. He registered sounds of someone frantically pacing in their apartment then stopping… Sherlock. He steeled himself for the impending conversation; back straightening, shoulders pushing back, deep breath. Soldier mode basically. He opened the door.

John's breath whooshed out of him at the completely unexpected sight in front of him. Sherlock looked frazzled, worried, scared even. His hair was mussed up from his hands having run through it many times, his shirt collar had been tugged at (from nerves or for air John couldn't tell), and his whole body was rigid with visible stress, but the most haunting were his eyes. Those ethereal turquoise eyes, normally so controlled, were bursting with worry and fear and raw emotion. Yes John had seen him passionate about his work, angry, frustrated, bored, had seen him fake tears, but this was completely unlike anything John had ever seen from him.

"John-" Sherlock paused and his hands nervously wrung together. He raked his gaze over John noting the sweat stains on his shirt, and the salt marks from tears on his shirt, but for the life of him couldn't figure out what John was feeling. Sherlock wasn't great with emotions; he was far better at deductions of the mind and body, not the soul.

John seemed to regain his breath at last. "Sherlock… I-" the word caught in his mouth.

Sherlock tentatively brought his hands up to caress John's trembling one.

"Sherlock I just need some time to figure things out."

'WAIT, WHAT?' John thought. This was NOT what he had planned on saying; this was not what his brain was telling him to say!

His mouth continued, "I care about you too, but I'm not sure what to do right now."

'NO NO NO, stupid mouth what are you doing?' John thought desperately. It seemed his head and heart were not in agreement and one was mutinying.

Sherlock's body visibly relaxed and the animalistic quality seemed to leave his eyes.

"I'll wait forever for you John." Sherlock paused and looked into John's sea blue eyes so John would realize the significance of what he was saying.

Sherlock knew there was no one else for him, no one even remotely close to John: John's infinite complexity (never saying or doing what Sherlock expected) and his complete acceptance of Sherlock's eccentricities named just a few elements of John Sherlock found irreplaceable.

Sherlock continued, "You know my feelings so I will wait for you to take some time to reflect upon your own feelings."

"Um, right. Okay… Thanks," John stumbled out. 'Seriously mouth, really? Disobeying orders again damn it,' John thought.

They continued to stare deeply into each other's eyes when Sherlock's phone beeped with a text. They jumped and separated suddenly, both their hearts beating a mile a minute. Sherlock snatched his phone up with his usual fervor when hoping for a case and was rewarded.

"It's Lestrade. He has a case. Woman shot in her home, wealthy, valuables were stolen. This is the second one in 3 days." Sherlock was excited by the last sentence. "Let's go John, no time to waste." His body was already at the front door grabbing his coat and scarf before he stopped, turned his head, and asked the question in his usual voice with an undertone of…something. "You do still want to come, right?"

"Er-, Yeah sure. Business as usual…this doesn't change us being colleagues, or friends," John said with his usual warm smile Sherlock loved so much.

He grabbed his coat and followed the already eager Sherlock to the cab. How the man always managed to procure a cab at a moment's notice was beyond John. The detective was already in his 'case state of mind', running options through his head with the little information from the text.

John leaned back to relax in the black vinyl seat. What a right mess he had gotten himself into. He would have to figure out what the bloody hell to do, but right now he was content to bask in the glow of Sherlock's brilliance, to just appreciate these moments with his best friend… who was possibly more than a best friend.

Alright, end of chapter 2. Don't worry it gets more exciting next chapter and continuing, I promise. I will try to have it up in the next few days :) Next chapter we get a case, some action, and adventure, plus a little romance maybe, mmm.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate any reviews and favorites/story alerts/etc.