Chapter Two

So that's what hurt so bad, I thought, sucking in a deep breath. Pam studied me as if my reaction told her something. I put my hand out to touch her shoulder but dropped it halfway, unsure of what she might want. "Pam… oh God. How?"

Pam pointed to the desk. "Him."

"Uh-huh." I nodded. "Desk."

"You are brilliant," Pam said. "Not the desk. I haven't lost my mind yet. Behind it."

The desk was big and sturdy, suitable for a guy of Eric's size. I peered over the top and found legs sticking out of the place where the chair should belong. The legs were very still. I sought out towards the person for any sort of mental signature but there was nothing, not even the fuzzy vampire pattern. "Pam, who was this?"

"I believe he was once your cat," she replied, as if this were an everyday thing to talk about, which reflected her mood. Nothing special, just a dead guy underneath Eric's desk. Nothing special, I'm just disconnected from my master, something that was supposed to be impossible.

My cat? "Bob?" I scurried around to crouch beside the legs. Bob was face-down but the bright florescent lights showed me it was him, no doubt about it. "Oh lord. Oh no. How did he get here?"

"The witches are a very intelligent group, did you know that, Sookie?" Pam folded her arms across her chest. "Very smart. They must have developed the spell to sever our bonds long ago but it was never used or perhaps had been covered up to prevent bloodshed. Did you know that Bob could do something like this?"

"Oh heck no," I said, rushing to stand and face her. "No ma'am, I did not. But I did know he was a witch, of course."

"A witch and a shaman." Pam nodded toward Sam, who stood leaning with his back to the doorframe. "Shifter, you knew, didn't you?"

"I never met Bob as a man," Sam said, scratching at his chin. "I couldn't say. But I know shamans exist and are pretty useful to the Weres and other groups. "

"Useful. Yes. Usually the Weres and other groups use shaman from within their own ranks. I don't know how Bob ended up with the position. Maybe his time as a cat qualified him or maybe he had a special talent." Pam turned to Heidi, who looked like she wanted nothing more than to meld with the wallpaper. "You. Spy-whore. You can tell Sookie what happened. You were so eager to involve yourself. Now is your chance."

Heidi ignored her. "Sookie, you came here, you've seen Pam. I think Victor will want you back at the trial now."

"And I think it would be best to know a little more before I go back down there with those guys," I said, trying not to look down at Bob's lifeless legs. Poor Bob. The guy never could catch a break.

Heidi pursed her lips in thought. After a moment, she said, "Okay. I can't see any harm in it. Bob knew Victor was unhappy with Eric. He also knew that Eric was quite happy with you. I don't know what you did to that man but he wanted to stab at you in the worst way."

"At me? I wasn't the one who turned him into a cat! Or the other one, Octavia, who kept him that way a lot longer than necessary!"

"Octavia's dead," Pam said. "At least, according to the pussy boy, she is. He didn't have the stones to touch Amelia, not with her father's connections."

"So he's taking it out on the people she cares about? Great." I thought for a minute. "He targeted you, Pam? Because you and Amelia used to date?"

She waved her hand over her body. "So it would seem. And you as well, though less directly."

"Poor Eric's just the innocent bystander in all of this, huh?" Somehow, that didn't sit right. "I know there is a potion shaman's drink that enhances some sort of psychic ability. When I drank it, I didn't feel the blood bond."

"Had you shared that cup with Eric, the bond would have broken." Pam pressed against her stomach, grimacing. "It hurts and it tastes like ass."

I didn't know what to think of that. The room fell silent. Bob. He hadn't been happy with Amelia and rightfully so but Bob? My memories of him as a man were few but he used to have the sweetest purr. I said a little, silent prayer for him before moving back to sit beside Pam. "Does he have anything to do with the trial that's happening downstairs?"

"Somewhat. Only somewhat. Eric's in a bad position and so when Bob made his little ability known to Victor, our fearless leader took advantage of that. I'm the first part of Eric's punishment. Stan lost his child and now so has Eric. It was deemed the least that would happen." That made Pam snicker but it didn't sound like she found it funny. "The least. Right. This is far more than what would happen normally in a situation such as this. Eric didn't kill Felicia himself, nor did he fail to offer the normal recompense, such as for Long Shadow. Victor is benefitting from punishing Eric in every way possible."

"Yeah, I can see that. But what is Stan's motivation here? I thought he and Eric got along okay, other than the spying-on business."

"That's the truth. Stan has never liked Eric but there was no true animosity between them. Felicia was Stan's only living child. After Rhodes, Stan's position is likely all that man can think about."

Ah. "Felicia's death weakens his position. Punishing Eric like this must seem like just the ticket to making sure others know not to mess with him."

"Yes. And Victor has been right there to. . ." she paused to consider Heidi's presence. If I were Heidi, I'd have been squirming right then but Heidi just considered Pam right back. "Victor has been right there," Pam finished but I think we all knew she meant to say that Victor was a scum-of-the-planet, opportunistic, egg-sucking bastard looking to screw Eric up one side and down the other.

"What else can they do to him?" I could feel through the bond that Eric was unharmed, other than the low-level distress that probably came from the silver burns. "I need to get back there. I told him I would."

Pam turned the same cold look she'd given Heidi onto me. "Eric was locked away in a silver-barred cage for two weeks. Two weeks, Sookie. I was helpless. Where were you?"

Christ. It had never once occurred to me that I should call Eric or come to Shreveport to find him. Well, it had crossed my mind but not in any real way. I wanted to talk with him, to touch him. He was all I could think about. But I was so convinced that no matter what, Eric could take care of himself, I never thought he might need me. Not like this.

I was an idiot. "Pam, I. . . I wanted to. I just. . . I didn't know. I thought he had things to take care of. I thought he. . . I didn't know."

"I'm sure Eric will be pleased to hear that."

Sam moved to my side. "Sookie, let's get out of here. Now."

As if on cue, Heidi stirred from the wallpaper. "I'll take you back to Victor."

Sam opened his mouth to say that hadn't been what he'd meant. I could see it in his mind, clear as day. He wanted to toss me over his shoulder and carry me right on back to Bon Temps, to safety. "Sookie," he said, pleading with the one word only.

"Sam. I need you to not be here right now." It was hard to say that but also necessary. I couldn't look after us both and Sam had a way of John Wayne-ing it at the wrong moment. His hero streak would get him killed. "Please."

He wanted to argue, wanted it more than anything. I couldn't read his thoughts and I didn't want to try but his emotions sang out. "Please," I repeated. "They aren't gonna hurt me. I have the king's protection, remember?" I never told Sam that the king's protection hadn't meant spit the night Pam and I were attacked on the way home from Eric's house that night. I wasn't above a little sleight of hand if it meant Sam would go home safely.

"I will wait in the car," he said, his color rising high in his face.

"Sam." I could leave no room for mistake. Room was bad for his longevity. "Go home. Go on."

Go on, get! I didn't say that. It would sound like I was talking to a dog but I'd be damned if that wasn't how he acted at times, like he had more heart than sense.

He didn't even say good-bye to me after that, just turned and left. It hurt but I guess that was best. I couldn't think about him now, at any rate. "Pam, are you coming down with me?"

Pam had watched the whole exchange with what looked like amusement. "I cannot. An unclaimed vampire is always at risk. The unbonding potion must have an equal opposite; anyone could take me. Eric has ordered me to stay away as much as I am able. He's no longer my master but he is still my employer." She ducked a bit and I read that to mean she still considered herself as belonging to Eric, regardless of any physical bond. "I'll . . . bide my time up here until I am needed."

Mindful of Heidi, I said, "I understand," sure Pam would be gone at the first opportunity.

As I stood to leave, Pam stopped me with a long, cool hand on my arm. "You are my friend, Sookie. I am your friend, too."

"Uh-huh?" Maybe she had lost it a little bit after all. "Yep, we're friends."

She patted me like a puppy. "Just so you remember."

XXX

The basement crowd had gotten bored, it seemed, for they sat on the cement floor. Some were sprawled out; others sat stiff and still as the creepiest doll collection ever. This allowed me to see as soon as I came down the steps that Eric, Joseph and Victor hadn't budged since I'd left. It seemed that vampire trials involve talking ad nauseum. Perhaps the last one to stay sane through the tedium was the winner.

I knew Eric saw me when a pulse of relief came through our bond. I'd rarely been grateful for the bond but at this moment, it gave me the reassurance that I was wanted. That helped me gather the courage to face Victor on Eric's behalf. Eric had done nothing to deserve what they'd done to him and Pam. I tried to suppress my anger so as to keep it from influencing Eric's own emotions.

"You found Pam?" Eric knew that I had but perhaps he wanted me to affirm it to the others or maybe he just wanted to hear how she was feeling.

"Yep, upstairs in your office. She's okay." I thought of Bob. "It was a real eye-opener in lots of ways." There, Eric, please understand that I've seen it all.

"Wonderful," Victor said. He waved a hand and the vampires who made up the crowd all rose and filed out of the room. It made me nervous but Eric didn't seem surprised so I stood beside him and watched. I was shocked to see Pam come down the steps as the last of the crowd left. Victor made a happy little humming noise. "She knows?" he asked Pam.

"She knows what, exactly?" I demanded. I'd judged this very wrongly. I had no idea what might happen next and that was frightening in this crowd.

Pam didn't pay me any mind. "Yes, she knows enough."In her hands, she held a large, black cup bearing the Fangtasia logo.

"She doesn't know that Victor has claimed Pam as his own child," Eric said. "I need to speak with her."

"So speak," Victor said, taking the cup from Pam.

I didn't know what was happening but some things I could piece together. "You're my friend, Pam? So then what's in that cup?"

"Lover, you know what is in the cup," Eric stated so flat-out and plain, I didn't know how to respond. "You saw Bob the shaman. Victor, I need to speak with her alone for a moment." He hesitated. "Please."

Pam shrugged and headed to the back of the room. Victor waited until it looked like moving away was his own idea, then he followed her. "They can still hear us," I said, crouching by Eric's feet.

"They will pretend that they cannot and besides, it doesn't really matter. There is nothing to hide, not at this point." He pinned me with a fierce glare. "Sookie, this is what you have wanted. Our bond will be broken. You can return to your old life with no further encumbrances from the vampire world. My enemies will be mine alone. That is the deal I have made. They will remove our bond and they will leave you alone."

Encumbrances. What I've wanted. "None of this is what I've wanted," I whispered. Holding tight to his knees, one in either hand, I squeezed. "I want you. Eric, I'm so sorry, I…"

"No, lover," he interrupted. "We have no time for this. Listen to me. I am not angry with you. The situation has gone past my ability to remain in control. I have agreed to go to Texas. Stan requested this to be my restitution for the loss of Felicia."

I scrubbed at my face, trying to understand what was happening to us. Disbelief rose in me so strongly, I knew Eric felt it too. His eyes had a red tinge to them but I could feel him holding them back in a demonstration to the magnitude of his willpower. They were going to take him away from me and he had to let it happen. "Eric… what can I do?"

He smiled at me, a wobbly smile but a true one. "Go and be happy."

"Without you? While you are being punished? Are bamboo sticks underneath the fingernails still in fashion or is it all about water boarding these days?"

"I doubt that will befall me. Stan has better uses for someone with my skills. Regardless, you will not feel a thing, once our bond is removed."

"I don't care about that!" Well, not a lot, anyway. "I won't know what's happening to you. I'd rather keep the bond and know instead of sitting home worrying in the dark."

"Dear one, they will remove our bond no matter what you do. It has come to this. I must go and you . . ." He shook his head. "It would be pointless and wasteful for you to follow. So yes, go and be happy. I can do nothing else for you but I insisted on this one thing, that they remove the bond so that no matter what befalls me, you will be safe and won't suffer from my…"

"From your pain? Is that what you won't say?"

His eyes blazed. "Yes, from my pain. And possibly torture. And anything else that might come to pass. I felt your torture, remember? That will not be your fate. You will be unconnected. Safe."

"Alone!" My nails dug into his thighs. "Eric, don't do this. I wanted the bond to go away but not like this. Don't just give up."

The corner of his mouth turned up. "The strongest force on this planet is the wind."

"Huh?" I leaned into him, cupping his cheeks in my hands. Pressing my forehead to his, I kissed his mouth and said, "Eric, please. Where is your stubbornness now?"

"It is already done," he murmured, so low that I could barely hear him. "You're going to love this world again, my lover, if it's the last thing I do." He took a deep breath in, holding in my scent. "This is, of a sudden, the only thing I care about. Sookie, this is love."

Cold hands closed around my upper arms. Pam pulled me up to a stand. She wasn't hurting me but neither did she let me move. Victor brought the cup to Eric and put it to his lips. I couldn't watch as Eric swallowed half the liquid in two big gulps. He couldn't seem to bring himself to look at me either. The bond was clogged with too many feelings; I didn't know which were his. I hoped he was miserable. I hoped he suffered, damn him!

Pam's grip tightened as Victor approached us. "I'm your friend, Sookie," she said. "Never doubt that." Then she grabbed my ponytail to force my head back.

Some friend, I wanted to say, but it was too late for talking. The cup was shoved up against my teeth. Victor cursed when I refused to open up and there was Pam again, handy Pam, knuckling open my jaw. Thick, warm liquid sloshed down my throat. I gagged and struggled but it was for nothing. Victor finally lost his patience and raised his fist. The last thing I heard was Eric's warrior yell before it all faded into black.

XXX

I came to in the passenger seat of Sam's truck. It was still dark outside but dawn's fingers were ticking the sky. A soft but doggy-smelling blanket had been wrapped around me. My mouth tasted of the potion. It all came back to me in one big downpour: Eric, Victor, Pam and Bob. "I need to phone Amelia," I chocked out, then coughed and gagged hard enough to knock my head into the window. "And then I need to throw up."

"Shh, Sookie, just rest," Sam said. Leaning over with one hand holding the wheel, he unearthed a box of Kleenex from beneath my seat and put it on my lap."It's already done. She's in Italy with her father. She's safe. She wishes you luck."

I spit into a wad of tissues, trying to get the taste out of my mouth. Ass, for sure. "Luck? That's what she said?"

"She means it sincerely. In a good way. She can't help anyway. What could she do? Bob is dead. Amelia can't be any help with Eric and his vamp buddies."

Eric. I wondered if he was on his way to Texas yet. Probably not; they couldn't have left so close to maybe Victor's daylight people worked quickly.

I wondered if he'd be flying on Anubis and if somebody would be there to make sure no one tampered with his coffin in the sunlight. The bond was dead. I could feel where it had lived inside of me like a winter grave gone empty. I wondered what would become of Fangtasia. At least Pam was there. She knew the business and if there would be any homecoming for Eric, she was the only chance he had of retaining a place. Eric, oh lord.

Tears nibbled beneath my closed eyelids. I gritted my teeth, forcing them back. I was furious with him but it was beginning to occur to me that there was really no reason for my anger. He was a victim in this, as much as I was, and Pam too. Victor. He was the real enemy. He'd come to Eric's home and stomped around like a spoiled child destroying what he desired but did not have. He'd used Bob's ability and vengefulness as a weapon against us. Eric did what he could. He spared me pain the only way he could. Though he might have let me choose! He never would and you've always known that about him, Sookie. He does what he thinks is best for you, even when you won't do the same.

I would have given anything for the blood bond right then. Not that I'd have felt much, with Eric asleep for the day but at least I would have the assurance of feeling him again once night fell. As it was, he might as well have been dead. I will never find him like this, never.

"You can't go looking for him." Sam slowed to let a carload of college students pass us by in a hurry. "You know it."

Did I say that aloud? "He doesn't want me to." I twisted the Kleenex over and over in my fingers. "He wants me to move on with my life. He made a deal."

"He's right," Sam said, looking as if he'd bitten a lime. "He's doing what's best for you."

"He certainly thinks so!" I rested my head against the cool window glass, watching the streetlights flash by so quickly, they looked like one continuous bar of color. Beyond them, dark trees bracketed the highway. Beyond them, far beyond, was another road that would take us back to Shreveport. And on there, the exit for Fangtasia as well as the little airstrip Anubis used as a secondary boarding facility, the one Eric would surely be using as soon as the daylight people got him on board. For the first time, I felt sad that Bobby Burnham had died. There was no love lost between us but I never doubted his loyalty to Eric. It would have been a comfort to know someone was with Eric on whom he could rely. Someone he could trust. In those two weeks he spent locked in a silver cage, he must have felt utterly alone.

Something snapped in my lap; I realized I'd been twisting the rope of Kleenex so hard that it broke in two like a dried up branch. "Sam, I made such a big mistake. You wouldn't even believe how badly I have messed this up."

"Bob's not your fault," he said, sparing me a quick glance before returning his eyes to the road. "He's Amelia's can of worms."

"With Eric," I clarified. Tears burned again and this time I let them fall. Drawing up my knees to my chest, the seat belt squished against my belly, I cradled my wet cheek against them. "I love him, Sam. I just… I never thought he'd need me. Of everyone on this planet, I thought Eric could take care of himself. He wasn't himself with Appius in town…" I sniffled, glad again that Appius was dead though maybe if he hadn't died on my grass, he would be Stan's bitch in Texas instead of Eric, paying for poor, crazy Alexei's crimes.

"Eric likes to take care of others. He wouldn't want you to take care of him." Sam's voice, I noticed, was kept carefully even.

"I thought so too." Pam's words came back to me: Where were you? I had been at home, getting used to Dermot and Claude being around full time. I'd been working, doling out beers and burgers, wiping down tables, counting my tips. I'd enjoyed myself at a cook-out with Jason and Michele, and at Tara's baby shower. And while I'd done all those things, I'd been mad at Eric for not calling. I'd stewed with resentment for his supposed obligations at Fangtasia and with the vampire bigwig. I figured he'd just overlooked me or that he wanted time to get his stuff straightened out before he focused on me again. God, that focus, how he can make me feel like the only thought he's ever had.

And that whole time, he might have been sitting behind bars, losing his child just weeks after losing his "father", hoping that I would come.

Okay, I didn't know he'd hoped that. Knowing Eric, he'd probably hoped I wouldn't, that I'd keep myself out of it, safe. I know I'd had that thought when the Terrible Twosome kidnapped me, at first. But after a while, it got so bad, all I could think of was Eric coming for me. Eric hadn't been tortured but knowing him as I did, I knew that sitting in a cage while losing everything he'd ever held important was worse than physical pain.

Now he was in another cage, on his way to servitude and the unknown. Alone. "Sam, what do I do?"

"Sookie!" He snapped at me, which shocked me. I guess that was the point. "You go home. You stay alive. That's what you do."

I lifted my chin to look out the window, my arms wrapped firmly around my calves. I thought of the feel of Eric's legs in my hands just a little while before, so tense and still despite the odor of his flesh burning, acrid in the air. I thought of the contrasts of him, the Viking warrior and the gentle lover, the man in whose arms I felt safer than anyplace else, ever. I thought of the way he laughed when I made a joke no one else would understand, of the ancient words that fell from his lips to run over my skin like summer rain when he was buried inside my body, as close as two people could be, body and mind.

I thought of Stan's coldness, Victor's psychotic persistence, Pam's forced subservience and strength. That empty grave within me ached, the loss of Eric's presence more of a grief that I'd ever expected. Eric's words came back to me: You're going to love this world again. He meant in a normal life, a vampire-free life. A life without him.

The sun nudged its way above the trees, lighting the road ahead of us. Peeking in the side mirror, I saw the darkness of the road we'd left behind. "I don't know, Sam. I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do now."