Dear Diary,
You know what? From now on, I refuse to speak a single word to anyone but Keith. He is clearly the only reasonable person on this stupid ship!
Okay yeah, so maybe I'm still mad. What? It's justified! And the worst thing is, Allura isn't even apologizing! She just demanded we write in our diaries and didn't even look in my direction! SHE HAS RUINED MY SKINCARE AND NOW SHE HAS RUINED MY MORNING.
I'll get her back. Just you wait Allura. Doom is immininet. Imimnent. Immient. However you spell the freaking word!
Lance the One Who Shall Get His Revenge
Dear Book,
I'm kind of worried. Not about Lance if that's what you're thinking! Because I'm not. I'm just worried because of the team. Yes. The team. Because if Lance isn't happy it'll mess up the team.
Whatever.
But yeah. He's glaring into his food goo and keeps muttering "doom shall come" in an ominous tone.
Maybe he's in shock from losing his skincare products? I'll ask Coran about any Altean medicine we can use to help with that.
…this doesn't prove that I like Lance though. Because I don't.
Stupid Book.
Yellow!
Good morning!
…
Sorry, I can't really think about anything to say. No offense to you bud, but I'm only writing right now cause Allura demands mandatory team-bonding diary writing at random times. Today she waltzed into the room and said, "Paladins, it's a good time to write!"
We didn't get what she meant until Shiro sighed and said, "That means we should write in our diaries."
I didn't really want to, and from some of the others' faces, they didn't really want to either.
Oh good, she just left. Signing off now Yellow, but I'll write more the next time something eventful happens. Or the next time Allura demands it. Yeesh.
Actually, something interesting is happening now. Pidge is yelling at Shiro. Me and Lance are used to it, cause of the Garrison, but from what's happening now, Shiro isn't. Wow. I feel bad for the #1 Space Dad.
Wait. She's yelling at him because he's the one who suggested this team bonding diary thing. I should've known! This has Shiro written all over it!
How could you Space Dad? How could you..
Day 2; too early in the fuckign morning screw you
aahjlwdnlcsjlnccclkna
Tired. stupid allura. she's makign us write it's too early i'm going to fall asleep in my food goo because of her do you seE WHAT SHE HAS DONE
You knowzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Ugh i fell asleep. But shiro oh so kindly woke me up. U know what else? It wasn't allura! I'm sorry allura great space goddess i love you
PLOT TWIST IT WAS SHIRO IMMA FUCKIGN KILL THAT BITCH-ASS BAGUETTE
Journal Entry 3:
Maybe I shouldn't have suggested more team-building exercises. Nobody looks happy this morning. I imagine their notebooks are filled with negative emotions. How are we supposed to form Voltron like this?
Oh.
Hm.
That's weird. They seem to be blaming Allura for this. The right thing to do would be to admit it was my idea. The whole diary writing thing at ungodly hours of the morning. Then again, Pidge looks very scary this morning…
But morals.
…
Ugh. I'll tell them.
…
Horrible decision.
Horrible horrible decision.
Currently regretting everything. Note to self: never get Pidge pissed at you this early in the morning.
Lance didn't even look up from his musings of how to take down Allura when I admitted it was my idea. Keith continued staring at Lance. Hunk looked incredibly betrayed.
And Pidge…
I mean I knew she wasn't a morning person but this is ridiculous.
She looked up from where she had been sleeping in her food goo and gave me the look of death, dark circles and all.
Pidge then proceeded to type furiously in her tablet, still glaring at me.
Then she launched her plate of food goo at me. All of it. She screeched something about a "bitch-ass baguette" and something along the lines of "This is why people live with coffee!" (I'll need to talk to her about appropriate language usage in the Castle later. When she doesn't have her bayard on her.) (I'm also rather concerned about Lance. He looked up, grinned, and said "Baguettes! Just the thing I need!", before going back to his planning.) before nearly taking my eye out with a spoon.
And then she smiled. The demonic energy just… evaporated away from her. She said, "Shiro! I feel so much more awake now. Thank you! Want to go practice? I'll meet you at the training room in 200 ticks. Don't be late."
…
Kind of scared to go train with her now to be honest. But a true leader shows no fear on their face.
...Or food goo.
Yeah I'd better go wash off. And ask Coran or Allura to invest in space coffee.
Dear Diary,
You know, sometimes when you get Pidge (the traitor) and Hunk (traitor!) and Coran (Coran Coran the gorgeous man? MORE LIKE CORAN CORAN I BETRAY PEOPLE MAN) going on science stuff, it's awful. It's just a mess of a conversation full of sciency words no one understands.
So naturally, during our pleasant lunch of space goo, when they started talking science, my brain about froze over. In order to escape it, I decided it wouldn't hurt to follow the Write In Diary at Mealtimes With Team rule Allura (SKIN CARE PRODUCT DESTROYER, HAUNTER OF ALL PORES, THE ONE TRUE DARK LORD) (I think I should acronym it. SCPDHOAPTOTDL maybe?) newly implemented. Oh wait. It was actually SHIRO (Traitor Space Dad!). I knew it ALL ALONG. Well, once he told us I mean.
Anyways
We are getting off topic. As I was saying earlier, they started talking science. And so here I am writing.
But I'm also plotting! (for the fall of Allura. Obviously, keep up with the times.)
It's a wonderful plan. No way it can fail!
Admittedly, it was hard at first. But I think the genius of Traitor 1, 2, and 3 is slowly seeping into my brain, because I have the most ingenitive plan! Ingeniutave. Inginuitive? What the quiznak? Why don't space diaries come with spell-check?
Ugh.
LANCE LANCE THE GORGEOUS PALADIN
Oh right also Keith is helping me with my super secret awesome plan. I don't think he knows he's helping me, but he's helping me.
Dear Book,
Before you say a word, I'm not freaking out. I'm not. I'm really not.
…
Never has silence sounded so sarcastic before. Well whatever. I just won't tell you.
…
…
Yeah okay I'll tell you. But for me! Not for you.
…
Why am I talking to a book?
Right, the story.
So we were eating food as usual. You know, food goo for lunch. And Pidge and Hunk and Coran were eagerly engrossed in a conversation about some space alien or another. So yeah that was fine whatever, you know? No. You don't know. You're a book.
But the point is, Lance was blanking out. Then his eyes light up. I mean. I wouldn't know that. I was. Um. Simply looking at Coran's plate which happened to reflect Lance's eyes. Yes. That was definitely what happened.
Yeah so he looked like he got an idea. And he began furiously scrawling. And then he cackled and said, "Oh the wonders of the science traitors," and pretended to wipe away a tear. Then he caught me looking.
Did I say he caught me looking? He didn't. I was simply...staring. Yes, staring off in his direction. But not at him.
Right, so he saw me looking. Not at him. And he smiles and says, "Want to go space-shopping with me when we get a chance?"
I'm about 99% sure I'm about to pass out at this point. But not because I like Lance or anything like that. Don't be silly.
Anyways, yeah, passing out. And he takes my silence as a yes and goes, "Awesome!"
Then he twirls away.
…
What the fuck.
…
This doesn't count as freaking out though. Because I'm not freaking out.
Wait. Oh no. I asked Coran for those shock medicines and he gave me some. But Lance just left! How am I supposed to give him them now? I mean he seemed fine just now…
But what about later? I don't know! I should've paid more attention in my classes at the Garrison! There's probably a procedure for this situation!
…
Alright, fine. I admit it.
Now I'm panicking.
Yellow!
Man. I had no idea aliens could be so fascinating! I mean, yeah they're aliens. But these aliens are like super-ultra cool! Coran's been telling me and Pidge about them, and man, I hope we never see them in real life. They've got pits of fire for eyes and chunks of ice for arms and legs. Isn't that cool? Haha, no pun intended. But their torsos and legs are logs. From trees. And the really scary ones can manipulate their bodies to attack people with them! Isn't that awesome? Awesomely scary, but still awesome!
You know, I'm going to make cookies that look like those aliens. I'll surprise Coran with them!
And some for the rest of the team, of course. Once Space Dad stops viciously attacking my mornings and Lance stops plotting, that is.
Actually, I'm also curious about something else. Think Pidge can make me a cookie-baking machine?
Day 2: Lunch Time
Missing Matt and my dad.
Hope they're having goo as good as the stuff Hunk makes, wherever they are.
Seriously, this stuff is on point. Bon app the teeth!
Also…
I realize I should probably apologize for my actions earlier. It was pretty awful, wasn't it?
In my defense, it was early. And I lacked coffee. I mean I went and apologized to Shiro already, but he still insists on wearing his armor to the table.
Pfft. As if I'll attack him with food goo or something ridiculous like that.
…
Oh wait…
Journal Entry 4:
Okay okay. I know the team bonding diary thing was my idea, and I know I should be participating.
And I am! I'm writing right now, aren't I?
It's just the team bonding part that's the problem.
I mean, it's not like I don't like the team. I love them. I'm the leader, after all. They're my family.
But uh, Pidge was pretty scary this morning. And it's not like I'm hiding from her. Which I'm not. It's just, I value my face. And she nearly took my eye out with a spoon! So even if I was scared, which I'm not, I'd have a good reason.
It makes sense for me to hightail it out of there. Really.
…I hope we get space coffee soon.