502 Stronger
It's amazing how strong you can be when you know you have to be. And how much of a brave face you can put on when you need to.
"Do you surprise number 1, 2, or 3?" Nicola asked Jude excitedly.
"Hmm...I'll take...number 1 first," Jude said.
"You're booked in for an interview on GMTV!" Nicola exclaimed down the phone.
There was a pause.
"Jude?"
"Yea, um, that's great. Except...I don't know what GMTV is...?" Jude stammered embarrassedly.
Nicola chuckled. "Turn to ITV on your TV," Nicola instructed.
Jude flicked her TV set to ITV.
"It's a popular new s channel that also has the latest celebrity gossip, fashion, etcetera," Nicola explained. "You'll perform That Was Us after the interview as well."
"Oh," Jude said. "Well that sounds fun!" She tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible.
"If you watch the rest of today's programme they'll probably announce you when they talk about tomorrows show," Nicola said. "Then get yourself to the studio so you can hear the other suprises!"
The phone went dead and Jude sighed, settling down on her bed to watch the rest of GMTV.
"After the break we'll be talking to Carla Romano live from L.A. to hear what's new with Lindsay Lohan, see you in a few minutes."
Jude rolled her eyes at the interruption of an ad break but sat up when she heard her name.
She's the hottest star fresh from across the Atlantic, and tomorrow, she's here on our sofa to have a chat about arriving in London, leaving Canada, starting a fresh new life, and of course we will get to hear her new single, live! That's tomorrow, on GMTV.
Jude stared at the TV screen and took a deep breath. What if I'm not ready to talk about everything yet? She thought.
Time for that whole brave face philosophy, cause I'm definitely gonna need it.
*
"Okay! Steady cam over here! Yea, keep it going, STOP!"
Jude stared round at the GMTV studio. It was busy, she could see that.
"Okay Jude we're ready for you in hair and makeup now!" her makeup artist said, leading her into the prep room.
Jude sat down in her makeup chair and sighed. It was 6am, and she'd barely gotten any sleep worrying about all the questions she was going to have to answer in interview.
"Right, we're on air in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" Jude heard a camera man call.
She heard the title music start up, and closed her eyes.
"Jude!"Nicola's familiar voice said.
Jude turned round to see Nicola standing beside her chair.
"Hey," Jude replied sleepily.
"Wakey wakey, Jude, you're on in half an hour," Nicola said.
Jude sat up in alarm.
"Half an hour?" she said, in shock.
"At 6.30 you'll be interviewed by Penny who will ask you a few questions," Nicola explained. "Then you'll come off until 7.40 where you will talk to Kate, and then perform That Was Us. Didn't you read the agenda?"
Jude rubbed her forehead, nursing her growing headache.
"Do you want some Paracetamol Jude?" Nicola asked. "Are you nervous?"
"No," Jude said. "As long as it's not like the Corey Staxx interview I had, I'm fine."
**
It was way past closing time for GMajor, but as Tommy walked out of Studio C into the reception he saw everyone crowded round the Television set.
"What's the occasion?" Tommy asked, walking over to Sadie.
"It's Jude's first interview on live British TV," Sadie said. Tommy swallowed, and forced himself to sit down on the sofa with everyone else.
"Dude we've managed to tune to British TV! It's awesome!" Spied said to Tommy.
Spied, Wally and Kyle had a pizza each, and had already consumed half of it.
"I er, I heard about Kwest leaving," Tommy said to Sadie whilst they were waiting. Sadie tensed up and took a deep breath.
"Yea, well I guess he needed a change," she said, happy to be saved by Spied announcing it was on.
"Welcome back to GMTV," the presenter said. "And right now we are very lucky to be joined by the latest star from across the pond, Jude Harrison. Good morning to you."
"Good morning," Jude said smiling.
Tommy felt his stomach fill with butterflies. Jude looked just as radiant and as beautiful as the first day he met her.
"So how does it feel to be here in the UK?"
"It feels, great," Jude said smiling. "It's weird being in a different country, different time zone, and of course I miss everyone back home so much, but it's great to start fresh somewhere and build up a new fan base, and everything."
"Well we hope you enjoy London as much as possible, and you'll be talking to Kate and Ben later on, also performing your new single. Thank you, Jude. Now let's get the news headlines, here's Pria."
"What!" Spied exclaimed. "Later! How much longer can I stay up?"
"This calls for more pizza, dude," Wally said, getting up and phoning the pizza delivery. Karma walked through the entrance and sat down on the sofa beside Sadie.
"Wasn't that the outfit you were wearing yesterday?" Sadie asked.
Karma blushed. "No it's not," she lied.
"Yes it is, what's going on?" Sadie pressed.
"I –"
"There's my Karma!" Spied said, kissing her on the forehead and sitting down next to her. Karma glanced in Sadie's direction, anxious to tell someone about their situation.
"Look guys we have a whole hour to kill before Jude comes on again," Sadie said in exasperation. "What can we do in an hour?"
"Eat pizza," Spied said.
"Sleep," Tommy said, stretching.
"Watch other British TV crap," Kyle said. Wally nodded in agreement.
"Use the bathroom!" Karma said, jumping up and dragging Sadie with her. Spied gave her a puzzled look, then shrugged and continued with his pizza.
"Ow!" Sadie said, as Karma pulled on her arm and into the bathroom.
"I have to tell you something," Karma said.
"Well couldn't you have told me without ripping my arm out of its socket?" Sadie gasped, rubbing her arm in pain.
"I can't keep it a secret anymore," Karma said.
"Keep what a secret?" Sadie questioned.
***
Jude sighed and sat back down in her makeup chair. Five minutes on air was enough Jude thought. How am I gonna survive any longer?
"Jude, time for sound checks and rehearsals," Nicola said, walking over to her.
Jude sighed and made her way over to the GMTV performance space. Her Bermanze Records band was waiting there ready for sound check. Jude's position was centre stage, and she swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
"Sound check number one!"
Jude closed her eyes and listened for her cue in the song.
"I tried to change,
Tried everything,
Like headlights in the rain,
Drifting back again,
Somewhere out there lying in the dust,
Sometimes I can't remember that was us..."
****
"Karma?"
Sadie was full of confusion at Karmas behaviour.
"Spied and I..." Karma began slowly. "We...we got kicked off Rock n Roll Honeymoon, and now...we're living in the trailer park." She sighed, full of relief at being able to tell someone.
Sadie looked clearly shocked. "Why didn't you tell me?" she said.
Karma stared at the tiled floor. "Guess I was too ashamed really," she said quietly. "They really need some new tiles in here; this colour is really gross when you look at it for too long –"
"Karma!"
"And maybe some new paint might be good too, ooh maybe Darius can let me redecorate that would be fun and –"
"Karma!"
"I don't want to be pitied!" Karma exclaimed. "I don't need your help, and I don't need your sympathy." She pushed past Sadie and back out into the TV area.
Sadie sighed and closed her eyes.
*****
"Now next up we welcome the brand new star fresh from across the Atlantic. A young woman who took Canada by storm, she won the first ever Instant Star contest at just fifteen years old, and was launched into fame and fortune, as the title says, instantly. She has had 2 albums, her second album having gone platinum two years ago, and her third album, My ReTurn, is about to go on sale this month. She has just signed a contract with Bermanze Records in London, and I feel very honoured to be joined on the GMTV sofa with her this morning. It's Canada's own, Jude Harrison. "
- - - - -
"There she is!! Woo!!"
"Go Jude!!" Spied whooped as he dropped his last slice of pizza on the floor.
The GMajor reception was filled with claps and whistles at Jude's appearance on the TV screen.
- - - - -
"Morning," Jude said warmly, smiling. Her soft Canadian accent sounded harsh next to the unfamiliar British accent of the presenter.
"I feel like you should be on a pedestal right now," the presenter said. "You have become such a hit with everyone in Canada, and you seem to have made a huge fan base here in Britain."
"Yea, its, weird to look back on the last four years, and think about how far I've come," Jude said. "You know, I mean, I started at fifteen, and when I entered the contest I didn't really know what I was in for," she laughed, "so I was kind of, launched into this record label, and this fame, and," she took a breath, "it was so overwhelming, you know, I mean six months later I was heading out on tour, and to be honest, I don't really remember the first year of my life in the industry. It was all so busy and everything happened at once. You know, recording, performing, making the album touring, so yea, it was definitely, definitely a whirlwind for the first year."
"I can imagine. I mean, fifteen is a really young age to be going into the business. I mean, you were still at school, and, I mean, how did you find juggling school and music, and friends, and everything at once?"
Jude smiled and ran a hand through her soft blonde locks. "Yea it was touch," she said, "But I had a great great couple of friends who got me through everything, and who were there to support me and encourage me, and help get me through everything, so that was great support. And school, kinda kept me grounded. I didn't want to be home schooled. I wanted to be with my friends, I wanted to go through high school, and be a normal girl and a rock star at the same time."
"Well you seemed to handle it well, cause you came back from touring, your summer tour with your band –"
"Yea, the Spiederman Mind Explosion. SME. That summer tour was a great experience. The band was great, and they are still great. And I miss them so so much, and I want them to know that I love them and hope they are still jamming together and having a great time."
"So you came back from your tour, and then what? Your second album got underway?"
Jude sighed. "I came back from my summer tour and actually my label had undergone some, major changes. New management, new staff. So that was a big transition for me, and I had to grow up a lot that year, I was put in my place and I had a lot of struggles that year. I had to, um; fight really hard to get what I wanted in my second year."
"Was it a trying time?"
"Oh yea, definitely. I had a lot of personal issues as well going on then, I mean I did in my first year as well, and in a way my personal problems in my first year were in the spotlight more, um, I dated Shay in my first year, he was a rapper-we collaborated together too, and my relationship with him was highly publicised. But in my second year, although my personal life wasn't so public, it was still hard and I had to undergo some changes along the way to get my sophomore album the way I wanted it and the way I knew it had to sound. So yea my second year was very tough. Very tough. But I pulled through and, my second album ended up platinum, so that was a great result after my debut album flopped. It was nice to know my hard work paid off."
"In your second year, you dated your lead guitarist, um, Spiederman, didn't you?"
"Yea we had a thing going for a while," Jude smiled. "We had great on stage chemistry, and we just loved to jam together, and even when we broke up that never changed. We still had great fun on stage and the chemistry was luckily still there."
"So you released your second album, and then, what, did you go on tour again or? –"
"No, I um, my third year I had to get myself back on track again, I kinda lost it after the second year and had to discover what I really wanted in the music business and in my career. I felt, lost and unsure of whether I wanted to be part of the Instant Star family anymore. So I began working on my third album –"
"But in your third year, Karma came along right? The new Instant Star winner?"
- - - - -
Karma smiled.
- - - - -
"Yea, Karma, she won the contest, and there was a, bit of rivalry there in the first few months. But um, I got to know her and we ended up on good terms. But my third year didn't really go as planned. I began dating my producer, which again ended up being highly publicized, because of the age difference, so amongst other things, that kind of, tore us apart."
"Why do you think that was?"
"Well aside from personal issues that I don't really want to go into, um, I think we were just in different places at that time, so it didn't work out for the best."
"And during that year you also got held hostage?"
"Yea, it was definitely another wild year. Um, I got held hostage, and also got a lot of bad press because I accidentally wore fur at a catwalk event."
"Wow. And then did you release your third album?"
"No, um, my label suffered its own personal problems and it was closed for a while, so my album was put on hold. And at that time, I really didn't know what was going on with my music. First it was up for sale, then, thanks to someone very close to me, I got my music back, and became the sole owner of it, and I was able to write my songs again, and get back into the studio."
"And then of course, things started back up again with your producer?"
"Yea, we seemed to find each other again personally, and we reconnected in things other than music, but again that ended quite suddenly again. We suffered problems and broke up, and then, to make matters worse I finally released my third album at it didn't release too well."
"Yea I read that you "overproduced" your album and that it wasn't your sound at all?"
"That's probably the nicest review I've read, um, yea, I was just in a really bad place, but I got back and focused again, thankfully –"
"But you were held hostage again is that correct?"
"Yea, I, befriended a fan, and she clearly had some...issues, and I was held captive, um, in my own basement in fact," Jude laughed. "But um, I got back to the mixing board and reproduced my third album, with my, amazing, amazing producer, and yea, it's due to be released soon."
"Will it have the famous basement song that every one across the world has been dying to hear?"
"Yea, 2AM will be on there for sure. It's a song very personal to me, and it means a lot, so I had to make sure it went on the album."
"So how did signing with a London label come about?"
"Um, well its funny, I completely wasn't expecting it. Um, I got this woman standing outside my rehearsal space waiting for me and she told she was from Bermanze Records, London, and said she'd love to sign me and move my life to London, so here I am."
"It must have been a big decision to make. To leave your friends, your family, how did you make such a decision?"
"Actually that day was probably the hardest day of my life." Jude swallowed hard. "Um, I got two proposals in one day. One literal, and the other, of course, was Bermanze Records –"
"A literal proposal?"
"Yea," Jude smiled, and held up her left finger, the gleaming engagement ring sparkling in the stage light.
"Oh wow, so that was quite a day then?"
"Yea," Jude blushed, as if recalling some distant memory.
"So, did you, bring your fiancé with you, or?"
"No," Jude took a deep breath and stared directly into the camera. "No, um, he stayed behind. You know, I'm eighteen, it's time for me to explore and discover, and be able to have the experiences he had in the business. I did what was best for the music, and I know that deep down he understands why I did what I did. And I just hope he knows, that, I love him, and that I'm thinking of him every day, every minute. And that one day I will be ready to settle down and say 'forever and always' to him."
"Well that s a lovely thing to say to him, and I hope he's watching now," the presenter smiled. "Well good luck with the album release, we hope to hear lots of new songs from you, possibly some greatest hits that made you famous in Canada, and now we hope to hear your new single too. Can you tell me what that's about?"
"Yea, it's really a closure song for me at the moment. It's about loving someone very much, and just remembering all the moments you had with them, good and bad, and just, trying not to forget what you shared."
"Well it definitely sounds like a heart-rending song. So here it is, performing her latest song, That Was Us, out today, Jude Harrison."
- - - - -
Tommy closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to sneak away quickly before anyone saw his reaction to Jude's interview.
"Aren't you staying for the song?"
Tommy turned round in surprise. Sadie was looking at him.
"I er, I have work to do. Mixing Karma's album," he replied shakily, and walked off before she could say anymore.
Sadie watched Tommy walk off and sighed, standing up and walking out after him. He was sat at the mixing board, head in hands.
"Doesn't look like there's much mixing going on."
Sadie didn't bother to knock.
Tommy looked up at her and sniffed, not ashamed to show her his true feelings.
"You know, I used to sit here with Jude every day. She was either behind the glass, singing her heart out, or she was right next to me here, co-producing." He closed his eyes.
"You mean, when she wasn't firing you or storming off?" Sadie laughed, and Tommy couldn't help but smile.
"She was a real character," he said.
"Tom, you can't beat yourself up about this," Sadie said, putting a comforting arm around him.
"Can't I?" he said quietly.
"No!" she exclaimed. "You have to, get on with your life. Just like Jude is. What more could you want from Jude huh? Your beautiful, amazing fiancé is living her dream."
Tommy looked at her.
"You should be happy for her!" Sadie said.
"I just, never imagined this, you know? To me, she's still that fifteen year old girl with the, flaming red hair and the attitude problem," he said. "The girl that needed direction, a shoulder to lean on. Not the, eighteen year old, woman who flies off round the world on her own. Not someone that is able to cope on her own, not someone that doesn't need me."
"I know," Sadie said quietly. "But Tom, she's always going to need you. Even if sometimes she won't admit it. But now? She needs you more than ever. You need to be that strong, guidance, that strong voice on the other end of the phone that she can have for comfort and support."
"Have you always been this...annoying?" Tommy said, regaining some composure.
Sadie hit him playfully on the arm. "Yes," she said smiling.
"Well, as annoying as it is...thank you, Sadie," Tommy said.
Sadie nodded and smiled reassuringly, standing up and heading out the door. "You're welcome."
******
Strength comes from within.
"Did you enjoy that?"
Nicola walked over to Jude as they went off air. Jude smiled and took a deep breath. "Yea, it was great."
Nicola smiled and left Jude to gather her things. Jude's smile quickly faded and she closed her eyes.
And sometimes in order to be great, and successful. You have to be strong. Even when it's the most difficult thing in the world.
- - - - -
"I never expected you to tell your life story live on air."
"I never expected it either."
"It, it brought back a lot of memories."
"Me too."
There was a silence from both ends of the phone.
"Tommy?"
"Yea?"
"We can do this. I know we can," Jude said.
"I'll be strong if you'll be strong," Tommy said. "I wanna see you shine."
Jude smiled, chewing on her bottom lip, and feeling full of happiness for the first time in a long time.
"I love you, Tommy."
"I love you too Jude."
"Will you call me tomorrow?"
"Every day if you need me too."
You can be stronger than you think when you're working together.