"The heart has reasons which reason cannot understand." Blaise Pascal
The beginning
Gryffindor had won the Quidditch cup over Slytherin and everyone had returned to the tower for a party. While i the caption of the team Ginny Weasley sat on a bench in the cold and musty changing rooms, head in hands crying softly. Over the last month Harry's letters had stopped coming, for a long time before that they got shorter and shorter. I should have known this would happen. After he beat Voldemort Harry and Ron decided not to return for the Seventh year like Hermione had but to instead enter into the Auror training straight away. I guess the training has just taken up all his time and he can't reply that's what i tell myself anyway.
"Ginny" a soft voice breaks through my musing. It's Hermione I should have known she'd come looking for me if I didn't show up at the party. I keep my back to her not letting her know that i heard her, I look at her and I think of the Golden Trio and then I think of Harry and then no letters. Suddenly a warm hand is resting on my shoulder,
"Ginny what's wrong? You can talk to me about anything." Her voice is pleading and laced with worry, for a moment i hate myself for making her worry.
"Harry's letters have stopped." I cough out between sobs which have returned with a vengeance. I'm pulled into a tight hug, "Oh Ginny i had no idea, don't worry I'll never leave you like that." I cry into Hermione's shoulder for a good twenty minutes, once my tears have dried i pull back and look into Hermione's eyes, they'll full of concern and care. Something else is flickering at the side, almost like love. I find myself being draw into her eyes. I wonder what it would be like to kiss her soft looking lips, what do they taste like and feel like. I lick my suddenly dry lips as my eyes flick between her lips and eyes, gently I lean in and press my lips softly to hers. I fear the let down, her shoving me away and screaming her disgust and hate at me. But her lips move softy against mine. I pull back and look at her shut eyes and the peaceful and gentle look on her face. Hermione's eyes open and they shine bright with love...
I wake sudden, sweat is running down my face, i bring my hand to my face planning to wipe it off and realise they're tears, I look at Harry's sleeping form next to me and i hate myself more. I slip put of bed so not to wake harry and walk swiftly to the bathroom, i shut the door and lock it with my wand.
I open the white washed cupboard under the sink and find the small razor blade, i lean back against the wall as I look t the faint white lines on my wrist, my own dirty little secret, just like the dreams about Hermione.