Author's Note: I am using original characters, but of course the SS Tipton and Suite Life names belong to Disney. I'm just playing in their pond. PLEASE REVIEW!

THE SUITE LIFE: THE UNCHARTED PORTS

Season One

Scene Two: Faces and Names

"Going to class is the worst."

"You think getting up before noon is the worst, Leia."

Leia rubbed at her forehead, her trademark dark sunglasses covering most of her face. She halfheartedly nudged Harper and grumbled some more.

A few steps ahead, Frankie turned to them and started walking in reverse. "Well I can't wait for classes! It's been three days! Three days just, y'know, hanging around, staring at the shore as it slides by! Sure, it changed every days, but, wow! I am ready for the change. Something to focus on. Something new."

Leia focused her glasses on Frankie. "Something new? Perhaps a chance to make an impression on these hot new twins everyone's talking about?"

Frankie's pale skin flushed bright crimson. "I wonder what the seating arrangement will be like this year ..." she gulped and turned back around, walking ahead of the other two girls.

"Has it really only been three days?" Harper mused aloud.

It had been a whirlwind of activity since the SS Tipton had pulled away from Ashtabula Harbor outside Cleveland and had started its slow, steady plod up the St. Lawrence Seaway on its way toward the Gulf of St. Lawrence and then the Atlantic as it started its maiden voyage. Harper and her roomie Frankie had met Leia back in their suite on C deck, and although Leia preferred to hide behind her dark shades and laptop screen, she was friendly enough once the ice was broken. Leia didn't like to spend much time in her own bedroom. She hung out in the girls' suite common room almost all the time. Harper wondered if that would change once schoolwork became an issue.

Harper dreaded the start of class. Not that she was a bad student, just that she'd come on this cruise to get away from her parents and siblings – well, most of them anyway – and away from expectations and goals set upon her by them and other authority figures. And the last three days had been like a great vacation from all that. She, Frankie and Leia had explored the ship to each of their heart's content. Frankie in particular seemed very good at navigating the Tipton's many corridors and decks. They'd made themselves acquainted with the ship's wait staff very quickly. Especially the servers at the all-night pizza and ice cream parlors. Leia was particularly adept at making friends in these cases. She had a fluid, affable air to her that relaxed everyone she met at once. As long as she cared to drop the shades and the hooded sweatshirt and open her mouth, that is. Between her dual attack approach and Frankie's innocuously innocent manner, the three of them had made significant inroads into all the service systems of the ship before they'd even hit open ocean.

The three of them had spent all day exploring, and were hanging out in the ship crew's mess, with some of the servers, when they'd gotten around to the subject of school. Well, potential schoolmates. Well, boys.

"So what's up with these twin hotties I keep hearing about?" Leia pointed her brown eyes at Frankie as the three of them picked at some leftover Waldorf salad.

Frankie pointedly crunched down on a particularly noisy bite of salad and shrugged in an over-nonchalant way. Leia rolled her eyes and Harper giggled. It had become clear that Frankie had never had a boyfriend, but was desperate for her first experience. Frankie, like most of the girls aboard, just wouldn't stop talking about 'the twins.'

"Why does everyone care about twins so much?" Harper asked.

Leia stretched and ran a hand through her unkempt dirty-blonde hair as she stabbed at the salad. "Double the fun, I guess. My brother tried to go out with twins once. But it was too confusing for him, like a lot of things."

"I hope they're blonde," Frankie sighed.

"Why?" Harper asked.

Leia munched some salad. "It levels the playing field, right?"

Frankie covered her mouth and laughed around her salad. Leia next directed her dark gaze at Harper. "What about you? Boyfriend much?"

Harper chewed for awhile. "Hey, this is great stuff. What's in this, Bernie?"

The question was directed at the next table over, where some of the Tipton's serving staff were having a meal. A largish man, chef's hat and neatly-trimmed beard in view, turned to them. "Claw."

Harper, grateful for the distraction, blinked at him. "Claw?"

"Oh yes, miss. CLAW: Celery, lettuce, apples, walnuts. Dressed in mayonnaise. Plus perhaps a little bit of secret ingredient that I added myself." Bernard, ship's sous chef, spoke with the faintest accent, from where Harper couldn't say.

"What's the secret ingredient?"

His brows rose conspiratorially. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Sure."

He leaned in. "So can I."

Harper smiled.

Bernie leaned back. "Now I think maybe you three ruffians should be getting along home."

Leia put on a pout. "Hey, I am the only ruffian here. These two are proper ladies."

"Well, then, my lady ruffian; it's a school night. Why don't you let these two ladies escort you home?" Bernie proffered.

The three of them groaned. But they didn't argue. They weren't even supposed to be in the crew mess. But they always had the best food.

It wasn't until they were almost back to their cabin that Harper stopped walking abruptly. "What?" Leia asked.

"It just hit me. Bernie called this place 'home'. And none of us batted an eye."

Frankie just smiled. She opened the door to their suite.

And stopped in mid-stride. The common room had been transformed. Loud, thumping music rattled through the walls and the floor, colored lights swirled and blinked. Several thousand dollars worth of stereo equipment now sat hunched around the TV set, and was the source of the noise. An actual mirror ball now hung from the ceiling, and strings of multicolored lights draped the walls. The couches and other seats now sported violently colored drop clothes and overstuffed throw pillows. Posters of every shade were haphazardly stuck along the walls. There was a fish-tank where one of the bookcases had been. There was a fondue pot simmering on the coffee table, and a spread of other finger foods beside. On the counters near the sink sat several bottles of sparkling cider, some varied breads and toppings. Flowers dotted the room: carnations and birds of paradise, hyacinth and heather, lilacs, orchids, peonies …

"Oh my," they all breathed.

"You're here! Finally!"

What Harper had thought was some sort of lacy throw now unfolded itself from the couch, and resolved into the form of a willowy, shockingly redheaded girl. The redhead floated over to them and gave them each a frail hug in turn. "I'm so happy to meet you all. I was wondering when you'd get back. It was so lonely here, and I got bored, so I put up a few things. And then I put up a few more. And a few more. And then I made some food. And then I made some more. And some more."

She spoke with a kind of tonal listlessness, like her words came out without any force behind them. Harper noticed that while her hair was red – not ginger like she'd seen before, but fire engine red – her eyes were dark chocolate brown. That plus her languid demeanor made for quite the combination. At five foot nothing, she stood there in her wispy silk dress and smiled.

"Tell me you're not my roommate," Charlie said darkly.

"You're not my roommate," the redhead said.

"Really?"

"Well, you told me to say 'you're not my roommate', so I did." The redhead played with her hair and smiled some more.

Harper realized she was biting her lip so she wouldn't laugh. She saw that even Charlie was covering her mouth. "Hi. I'm Harper."

"I'm Frankie." Frankie nudged Leia, who was still standing there, arms crossed.

"I'm Leia."

"Hey, that's pretty. FrankieHarper, like the big scary thing in the movie with the bad forehead. FrankieHarperLeia. No, that's no as good. FrankieHarperLeia Vienna. Yeah, that's prettier. Of course, everything's prettier with Vienna. Oh, that's me! I'm Vienna. Hey, that's neat!"

"Vienna?" Harper asked.

"Where?" The redhead, Vienna, looked around.

"What happened here?" Harper said.

"Where?" Vienna asked again, looking around in confusion.

"What did you do to our room?"

"Where?"

Leia stepped up. "Hey, I have an idea. Vienna, you know whatever you were doing before we came in the room? How about you do that some more."

"Yay!" Vienna said. She promptly walked back over to the couch and sat down, staring at the suite door. And then she sat there some more.

Leia sighed heavily and trudged over to the aft doorway. Vienna watched as the door closed firmly behind Leia. Harper and Frankie made their way over to the couches. The fondue pot wasn't full of cheese as Harper believed, but something brown and aromatic. On the table were china dishes of caramel, multicolored sugar crystals, mini chocolate chips, and curiously, a bowl of water.

"Um, chocolate fondue?" Harper ventured.

"Yes. I mean no. I mean. Yes. Chocolate, yes. What's fondue?" Vienna said airily.

"Fondue is traditionally melted cheese that you dip meats and other foods into," Frankie said, grabbing some tongs and stirring the pot, "but in the latter half of the 20th century it was expanded to mean any melted food used for dipping, melted chocolate being chief among such foods."

"Hey, are you a robot?" Vienna asked, head tilted.

"She reads a lot," Harper said.

The three girls spent the next hour or so nibbling at the spread laid out before them, chatting and getting to know each other better. At some point, Leia drifted out of the bedroom and joined them on her beanbag chair, but didn't eat.

"So, Vienna, your daddy got you a spot on the cruise? I thought we were full up," Charlie said.

"Yeah, and we haven't stopped since we left the Port. I didn't see you on board," added Harper.

"Oh, I flew. In an eggbeater."

The three girls regarded her for a moment. "You mean a helicopter?" Harper provided.

Vienna sat unblinking. "Okay."

"What does your dad do, Vienna?"

"He gives me money."

"Um, okay. How?"

"He walks through the door and gives it to me. Well, most of the time, the servants do it. Or Mr. Senger."

The girls waited. "Mr. Senger?"

Vienna nodded. "Yeah. He comes to the door with a name tag. It says, 'me senger'. I guess it's in case he forgets. I know how that can feel."

There was a moment of pregnant pause. "You mean a messenger?"

Vienna cocked her head. "No. How does it feel to be a messenger?"

Harper leaned over to Frankie. "Remind me not to copy off her notes in class."

From there, talk turned to school. Eventually, the girls' sugar rush wore off and they drifted off to their beds. Compared to the new party scheme of the common room, Frankie and Harper's room seemed quite demure now. As Harper lay there, snuggled under her comforter, the gentle rocking of the water and the muted sounds of shipboard activity lulled her to sleep. It really was starting to feel like home to her.

Monday morning was warm for the Northeast, which meant Frankie was wearing six layers of clothing as they made their way to the main deck and their first class. Leia wore her usual light sweater. She was from Colorado. She was used to six months of winter. Harper had on her usual comfy jeans, black flats, a tank and her warm plaid button down over it. Her hair was in a simple, loose tail, pulled back to show off her cheekbones.

As they neared the classroom, it kept coming to her ears, carried on the breeze, coming from every knot of students: twins, twins, twins. Some said it like a sigh, as if twins meant movie stars. Some said it like a curse, as if twins meant freaks. Some said it with curiosity, like twins meant an ancient relic from some foreign land. Harper rolled her eyes. You'd think the circus was in town.

As passed through the doorway, several pairs of eyes turned their way. Gazes of many varieties tracked their movement as their eyes adjusted to the lighting. Across the room, a lanky, brown-haired teen with glasses looked their way. He spoke quietly to a young black man next to him, then rose from his desk and headed their way.

Frankie's breath caught. "Oh my, he's cute. Is he coming toward us?"

Leia elbowed her. "Dibs," she said quickly.

Frankie squeaked in protest, pouting in silence.

Harper fought the urge to bury her face in her hands. "Not again."

Leia nudged her now. "Harper, do you know him?"

"All my life. How's it going, Turtle?"

The boy drew up to a familiar distance and rolled his eyes in a manner very similar to the way Harper did.

"It was going perfectly, Strings. But then you walked in. Following me around again like always, I see."

Harper snorted. "Excuse me, but I believe you've got that backwards, Turtle."

They stared at each other in silence for several seconds.

Leia poked Harper in the side. "Ahem. Manners. Introduce us, why don't you?"

Harper sighed. She turned and stood next to the boy, who was the same height as her, had the same hair color as her, and the same eye color too …

"Frankie, Leia – meet Shelby. He's my twin brother."

Author's Note: Dum, Dum, DUMMMM!

So the twins everyone's been talking about are NOT Zach and Cody! Are you surprised? What will happen next? Please review!