Doug

Part two

Ste's point of view

For mercurial2010 i hope you like it :)

I can feel myself being drawn to you and those feelings i had for you are all coming back again. Maybe it's because I am seeing your softer side, maybe it's because of everything you have been through lately, or maybe it's just because I have never gotten over you. I can see your pain when I look at you and I can't help but worry, I mean who else have you got? You look tired, like you're about to give up on everything that you have been fighting so hard for, Chez, your kids…me.

I still get a buzz from being around you, even after all this time, even after everything we have gone through together. We've become closer again over the last few months and I know it might not be a good idea, but I like it, I like you in my life. In fact I couldn't imagine my life without you and you being some part of my day. You need me at the moment, so I will do all I can. I enjoy looking after you and making sure you're okay, it stops me from worrying as much.

Seeing you with Lynsey's brother was a shock and it left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. The image of you that way will stay with me for a bit no doubt, I was jealous there's no denying that. It reminded me of when Eileen walked in on us, i thought you would have learnt your lesson and locked the door; still it's nothing to do with me now I suppose.

Things have been bad between you and Cheryl and I hate to see it, because she brings out the best in you. I had to try and help, to get you to talk; you need each other, especially now. I thought you might need me to, that is why I will always be available for you, just in case you do. It's what you do for mate's init? I just hope it did some good talking to Cheryl, I hope she can let go of the past and forgive you, whatever it is that you have done. I know I have. It took me a while to release all the negative things you did to me, but now I have I feel so much better and I can learn to trust you again.

I was dancing like a loon in the deli when I noticed you stood watching me in the shop. You look gorgeous, but then you always did. You still make my heart flutter. You thank me but I wasn't even dancing for you, what you like hey? You talk for a bit but I can barely talk to you, nerves from the way you make me feel gets the better of me and you turn to go but I make you wait, I don't want you to go. I just wanna be around you and forget who I am.

The way you get to me is unbelievable, you get right under my skin and as you move closer to me, I think I might explode from everything that I'm feeling right now. Then you tell me what i already know.

"Sometimes, what you're really looking for is standing right in front of ye"

I know you mean me; I want to be your everything. I don't want you to be with anyone else. You are standing closer to me now, so close that I can almost taste you and I want to taste you, more than anything. Your beautiful blue eyes look at me with such love, you don't need to say it anymore as I can see it so clearly. Then I get distracted by a black cab pulling up outside and I leave you because I have to and I wrap my arms around him, even though I should be wrapping my arms around you. I can't look back at you because I know how you must be feeling, because I feel the same, disappointed and confused. There is so much unfinished business between us and I am devastated that my man is him…not you…him…Doug.

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