Author's Note (Monster): Hello, our lovelies! How are you guys? The error to post this shit isn't gone yet but I'm avoiding it by going out of my way to change an existing file into this story. Great. Anyway, I'm happy to say I already received 14 requests by now. Keep it up, guys! Ironically I broke my headphones this morning so these series will probably be delayed for a short while. Replies to the reviews below, enjoy.

If you have a song that you MUST see transformed into a songfic, request in the reviews below and I'll try my best.

Chorus of Numb:

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Numb by Linkin Park (requested by HU4LIFEBITCHES)

I gasped, breath barely filling my lungs as it felt like I was suffocating. The walls surrounding me moved towards me, trying to crush me. Trying to budge me.

My vision swayed from side to side, the faint smell of alcohol present in every exhale. I looked down. Just one more. One more.

Then another.

Just another one to be sure.

Maybe another one after that?

My forehead hit the cool wall, droplets falling onto my legs. Yes, another one.

Definitely another one.

I had become so numb. So fucking numb. To my own actions. It wasn't normal, my conscious screamed at me.

Please stop…

No, another one.

My eyelids became heavy, thoughts drifting off into the air like I was slowly falling asleep. Must be the alcohol hitting my system harder than expected. My forehead slid away from the cool wall until I found myself on my side in my own puddle of tears and blood. Pathetic.

Not that I gave a shit. I was too numb to give a damn. But someone wasn't.

I swirled the liquid in my cup as I mindlessly flicked my wrist in circles. He wasn't talking to me. I didn't expect him to. The only time he spoke to me, was to tell me off anymore.

Quit whining.

Why can't you be more like me?

Every step that I took, was another mistake to him. I couldn't do anything right and even if I did do something right, he wasn't telling me. I pressed my eyes shut, letting a sigh escape. "Look… Jay, I'm so-…"

"Don't even think about it."

"What?"

"Don't apologize. I don't wanna hear it."

I could feel the disappointment dripping off of him. "Ok."

He cast me a glance, shattering everything I felt. At least I felt again but seeing him look at me like that, made my eyes become dull and my vision turned grey. Fine, I'll become this then. So much more aware of who I was supposed to be.

I smashed my cup down on the counter. "I'm heading to Charlie's."

"Sure."

His indifference made me grow colder, more frustrated but I had no tears left to shed. I took my coat and walked through the rainy weather all the way to Charlie's. I wasn't allowed to drive. Jay had taken away my keys.

Soaking wet I arrived at Charlie's who opened up his door with more enthusiasm in one sentence than I could muster in my entire body. "If it ain't my boy, Jonathan! Dude, where the hell have you been?"

"Out. You wouldn't understand."

"Alright", he cheered as I walked past him. He rubbed his hands together. "So what do you wanna drink?"

I let myself fall onto the couch, putting more energy in the sigh that followed than anything else. "You got a beer?"

"Uh… I don't have any in the fridge right now."

I whipped my head up. "You? That's new."

"Yeah", he laughed awkwardly. "I kinda just forgot about it."

Jordon was a terrible liar. "Jay called you…"

"What? No!"

"Yeah he did. He told you, didn't he?"

"A-about what?" Jordon tried, chuckling but I was onto him. "I don't have a fucking drinking problem."

"I know you don't but Jay's worried."

"Jay should go jump off a bridge!"

"That's cruel…" Charlie murmured. "He just told me a-about… you know…"

I could feel harsh anger flares putting spikes on my back. "About what? Are you too ashamed to say it? Are you disappointed in me as well?"

"No… I just… No."

I neared Charlie and pulled up my sleeve. "THIS? IS THIS WHAT HE TOLD YOU?"

The bandana rapper nodded. "Johnny, please, just go home. You're not… doing well."

"I know I'm not", I snarled. "I just don't need you guys rubbing it in!"

"Jay is just worried."

I sighed. "I know. I know he's just… trying to keep me from making mistakes."

"Please, Johnny, you need to talk to him about this."

I nodded, feeling cold as I stepped back. "I'm sorry for…"

"I know. It's ok. Just go."

And I did.

Just not home.

Not yet.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Jay screamed at me as I smashed the door closed. "Would you lay off me for one fucking minute?"

"No. Where the fuck have you been, Johnny?"

"At Charlie's."

"Bullshit! He said you left three hours ago!" Jay yelled back at me, taking a step closer but I had it with his fucking mother hen behaviour. "Can't you fucking see you're smothering me?! Are you that afraid to lose control over me?!"

He took a step back, flinching slightly. "No… I just…"

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be, Jay. I'm feeling so fucking faithless, put under the pressure like that. I just don't know what you're expecting of me."

"I'm… I want you to just… stop."

"Stop what? Be me? Everything you thought I'd be is falling apart and you hate it. You hate everything about this new life of ours."

"Of course I hate it, Johnny!", Jay called out, loud enough for me to lose my speech for a minute. He groaned frustrated, hands flung in the air. "Do you have any idea what it's like to think I've got a strong, amazing boyfriend who's able to support me to the fullest to realise he's so miserable that he'd rather bleed out than talk to me about it?"

"No but I know you have an idea what it feels like to be on my end of the story. You were just like me with someone disappointed in you."

Jay slumped his shoulders. "Just wish you'd stop being depressed. Stop hurting yourself over nothing."

"I need to feel something, Jay. I just wanted to feel something."

"You do feel something. You wouldn't be with me if you felt nothing", he argued. "You love me, don't you?"

"More than anything", I reacted in a reflex. "But you don't get it. I've become so fucking numb that I can't even… I can't even feel you there with me. It's hard to explain. I mean… I love you but it's like the feelings don't hit. They're just scratching at the walls protecting me inside."

Jay sighed deeply, tears in his eyes as he walked towards me, stopping only mere inches away from me. He brought his arms up and around my neck, squeezing as he pressed his cheek against my collar bone. "Please, Johnny, I don't want you to… I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you."

"I know."

"I'm afraid to lose you."

"I know."

"Please understand I need to watch over you to feel secure I won't lose you."

"No."

He looked up at me, worried eyes meeting mine.

"You need to trust me I won't do it again", I said. "You found me once. You won't find me twice. Please just trust me I won't drink myself to death or bleed out when you turn your back. Not again."

Jay pulled me closer against his smaller body, trying to merge into my own as his eyebrows furrowed into a thick frown of concentration. He was definitely putting his soul into this embrace. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. "I still love you to bits."

"I still love you too but please lay off the booze too. I can't have another drunk fight with you."

"Now that's something I can deal with. You just had to ask, not call Charlie to hide it all."

"I'm sorry", He admitted. "But I'm worried about you."

"I know. Me too."

But at least that made me feel something.

Please Review, they're our heavy fuel! If this songfic seemed blurry and confusing, then I did a good job because it's supposed to be. I suppose I tried to be symbolic to say that when you're numb, you don't always experience shit actively.
If you have a song that you MUST see transformed into a songfic, request in the reviews below and I'll try my best.

FoxyGuy87: I'm on it but bear with me because I broke my headphones this morning.

HUshipper: You never cease to amaze. I know 2 out of 3 of those songs and I love both of them. Especially My Demons since I only started listening to Imagine Dragons a week ago. There is nothing admirable about me. I'll try my best and to be honest, I work better when there are no suggested themes. Full artistic freedom.

Guest: Yes I can. I know that song too.

HU4LIFEBITCHES: Linkin Park got me into this shit as well so Chester's death was pretty harsh to swallow. I'm gonna miss him so bad. It's part of the reason why I wanted to post Numb before anything else. I was not annoyed when you requested them. I was excited because I only knew 2-3 songs out of it, though my enthusiasm is often masked. This is your fic, my friend, hope you liked it.