Exposition 2: Undergarments

Sanji sat on the floor of his kitchen, staring into the oven at his baking cinnamon rolls.

5…4…3…2…1… DING.

With practiced ease, Sanji opened the oven door and took out the rolls, sampling one in the process. Sanji congratulated himself. It was perfect, the bread was light and fluffy and the added cinnamon and honey gave the rolls their sweet taste, but not too sweet, of course. Sanji chortled, Nami and Robin would be so pleased that they would thank him and hug him and… Sanji melted into a puddle of goo on the ground. Then sprang up in a business-like matter.

Separating all the rolls onto two separate plates, which he balanced them along one arm, and picking up the already-made strawberry smoothies with whipped cream and a cherry, Sanji waltzed off to give Robin and Nami their mid-afternoon snack.

Kicking Nami's door open, Sanji danced in, "Nami-san, the cinnamon rolls that are fit only for you, the queen of my heart, are ready to be tasted by your divine self."

Opening his eyes, Sanji realized that no one was there. His back slumped as he slowly walked towards her desk and placed the snack next to the map of Skypiea that Nami had been working on for the past two weeks. He would be unable to experience the joy that would have been his had Nami been present in her room.

He turned around to head towards Robin's room when he noticed something in the corner of his eye.

Something lacy was poking out of a drawer to his right.

Sanji's face developed a red shade and his eyes turned dreamy as he crept towards said drawer and looked inside.

PANTIES FROM HEAVEN!

He sighed longingly; they were all different colors, all different varying degrees of skimpiness and laciness. How Sanji wished he could have one.

… have one

Sanji's face suddenly split into a wide grin, surely Nami would never notice. And if she did, she could hardly blame him. She would be flattered. She would come to his room and thank him for thinking so highly of her, hug him, and… Sanji melted into another pile of goo. He sprang up again and searched through the drawer till he found the perfect one, a white lacy one, with such a virgin color.

Stuffing the panty in his pocket, he turned towards the door… and came face to face with a red-faced Nami, who had obviously noticed her open drawer.

Slowly, Nami walked towards Sanji, a wide smile on her face that meant so many different kinds of pain, "Sanji-kun, what are you doing in my room? And, WHY IS MY UNDERGARMENT DRAWER OPEN!" She grabbed the nearest missile, a sharp quill and threw it at Sanji who ducked, screamed, and ran.

Nami chased him down the halls and threw another quill. This time, she didn't miss.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sanji screamed, a high-pitched sound not unlike that of a dying goose.

He ran to his room and slammed the door behind him.

Swiftly, he pulled the missile out of his posterior and winced in pain. Then, he listened for sounds of continued pursuit. Luckily for Sanji, Nami seemed to think that shooting a quill at Sanji's nether regions was a good enough punishment.

Sanji slowly sank down to the floor, and then got up quickly as he posterior touched the wood floor. He got up and laid face down on his stomach on his bed.

Then a sudden thought came to him. He hurriedly reached into his pocket and pulled out the filched piece of clothing.

He stared at it, a goofy expression on his face. This was worth any amount of pain. Sanji turned over, winced, and flipped back over to his stomach. Well, maybe the stolen item AND Nami's beautiful enraged face equaled the pain.

He reverently placed the panty under his pillow.

Sanji touched the spot where the missile had hit. There was a hole and a long tear that would have to be mended before the shit swordsman figured out what happened. Sanji could definitely bully Usopp into stitching it up for him. He sighed, it was hard to come across such fine silk in the middle of the ocean. He would have to wear shoes with a tack on the end the stem Usopp's questions that would surely come, but it wouldn't really be that much trouble.

Sanji slowly drifted to sleep, deciding to make dinner when Nami wasn't quite so mad at him… and when his rear end stopped aching.

A/N Review. Pretty Please with...err...Sanji on top. Constructive Criticismand Compliments are invited.