Before

On a bleak winter afternoon, Gilderoy could be found strolling around the lake, wrapped up warmly in the clothes his mother had carefully packed for him. He was musing about life, and how easily it could be snuffed out at the slightest change in temperature. The grass could freeze, the trees would go bare, the marigolds would wither before his eyes. And yet in a few months, they'd be back. Totally unlike humans. Kill a human, it stays dead. Simple as that. A human cannot have all his skin fall off, then have it regrown much later with no apparent damage. No siree.

It was then that a girl fell, prostrate, at his feet. This surprised Lockhart very much. Granted, he was good looking, his mirror told him that every morning, but he'd never thought a girl would do anything so extreme as to throw herself at his feet. Up to now, he'd never received so much as a lustful look across a crowded room. This was it, this was his time to shine and show her some of that romantic expertise of his.

"I say, are you alright?" he mumbled, looking over her.

"Oh! So sorry to disturb you; could you possibly help me up?"

"Right, of course, anything you want," he held out a bemittened hand and she grabbed it with her blue-with-cold one.

"Ooo, you're quite the handsome gentleman. I bet you've got scores of girls just waiting for you to come back to the castle and be with them, eh?" she flirted, while Lockhart stood speechless. This was going better than he'd expected.

"Well, you know, I just can't keep them off me. But," he started, a look of alarm flitting over his features, "it's nothing serious. Like, I don't have a girlfriend. Just...girls. Lots of them." he nodded heavily for emphasis.

"I hope you'll be able to find some time in your busy schedule for me, then. I'm interested to hear your views on the appropriate way of cutting a flutterby bush, especially after hearing your very interesting conversation with Professor Sprout on the subject," she leaned in close and whispered, "how about coming over to the greenhouses tonight? We can...talk. " the girl winked and ran off to the castle, not waiting for a response. She stumbled through the snow, but to Lockhart's eyes that stumbling was more graceful than the show of a world famous ballet dancer. He didn't even realize that she'd never told him her name.

When before he'd been feeling moody and alone, now the world seemed brighter. The sun shone, the crows sang, and the frozen water on the lake glittered prettily. It didn't matter that everything was dying before his eyes, as long as HE was alive. A sudden revelation, possibly brought on by the setting sun and falling temperature, came to him. Yes, everything was dying, but in a few months it wouldn't be reborn. No, that was impossible. New things would just take the place of old things. Nothing was immortal, not even plants. He hummed and reflected that, as it was getting late, he might as well just go to the greenhouses now and save himself the trouble of travelling to and from the castle. He could tend to the plants while he was there. Lockhart liked plants; they didn't suddenly spring up on you like people did. Well, except for the devil's snare.

"Gil, my boy, you have got yourself a date!" out of nowhere, he decided to try out a whoop. "Whoopee! Someone likes me! Whoopee!" and then he stopped, feeling a bit out of his depth. Was this what people did when they got a date? He doubted it. Attempting to look more normal for the benefit of the people still outside who were staring at him, Lockhart straightened his coat and pulled on a straight face. He walked in a straight line (instead of weaving around as had been previously) and tried to stop looking as camp as a pink circus elephant in high heels. Failing utterly after a few seconds, he burst out laughing and continued on his way.

Life was good when you had a pretty girl and a roomful of plants to look forward to.

When he reached greenhouse three, Lockhart found the door to be ajar. Interested and a little more than a little excited, he stepped through it to encounter a breathtaking display of plants. Gosh, he hadn't been here in a long time. All that charms homework he'd been having problems with had interfered with his love for herbology, which he'd been forced to neglect for the time being. Charms really was a bothersome subject. It seemed to consist of nothing but 'handy spells that might come in useful at any time', as his Professor liked to say. He didn't see the point of it, even though as a Ravenclaw it was his duty to seek out knowledge. What was the point of knowing something if you couldn't do anything interesting with it?

Now herbology, that was a different matter. You could get your hands really dirty when you were working with plants, and Lockhart enjoyed doing something practical for a change. He dreamed of an enormous garden that would be his when he was out of school and free in the world, a garden that displayed specimens of every species known to wizard. It would be his pride and glory, the centre of town. People would flock from all over the country to see his belladonnas and bouncing bulbs, his Dirigible plums and fanged geraniums. It would be a wonder of the world, and it would be all his. The praise that would be showered upon him could make a boy immortal, and he planned to be a man. In his dreams, the world was perfect and happy, and he was the centre of it all.

Lockhart wandered over to Professor Sprout's 'baby', a formidable Venomous tentacula. He stared at it for a few moments with his nose right up to a leaf, and, when it failed to attack him, Lockhart surmised that it must be sleeping. It seemed that even the incredibly dangerous took a day off sometimes.

"Hello babe. I see you showed up." the girl was back! Moonlight lit up her face, putting into contrast her sharp nose and mouth which had been softened by the sun as he'd spoken to her before. She was smiling and walking slowly in his direction.

Lockhart felt confidence build up inside him. Now that he was in his element, he'd be so charismatic he'd charm the pants off her. 'But wait, you're not good with charms, what you've just thought makes no sense whatsoever' he thought to himself. 'Shut up, it wasn't meant to be taken literally,' he thought back, 'and anyway, since when did I start to argue with myself?' 'Uh, let's see, what's changed lately?' one of his inner voices said sarcastically, 'oh, I know! There's a really beautiful member of the opposite sex, with you, in an otherwise deserted building. What springs to mind when you think that?'

Lockhart was getting a trifle distracted. 'Shut up all of you and help me out here!' he thought furiously. 'I don't know what you are or what you're doing here, but if you can take me down then you can bring me back up again. Go on, I know you can do it.' The girl was getting dangerously close now, still smiling in a slightly unnerving way. Suddenly, Lockhart's brain went quiet as the grave.

"Hi" he said.

"Hi"

"So, you wanted to talk about plants? I know lots about plants. They've um got leaves and stems and flowers sometimes, if you're lucky and um they can curve in very nice and unexpected ways. Personally, for aesthetical appearance I prefer the gulping plimpy, but I know some other people who would be happy with a rose. Either way, they're very nice, plants. Very pretty." all this was said in a rush, surprising the girl slightly.

"Hey, I just realized I never told you my name! A bit awkward, that. I'm Gilderoy Lockhart." he puffed out his chest, momentarily forgetting his shyness at the thought of introducing a name that would once be famous the world over.

"Pleased to meet you, I'm Jeanne Milgam." she giggled and held out her hand, mimicking the movement of a few hours before. "But of course, I already knew who you were. It isn't difficult to spot the boy the whole school's talking about. And I suppose it was silly of me not to introduce myself in the first place, sorry about that. You see, I just had so much on my mind, what with my exams coming, and that dreadful Sutters pushing me around."

"The school's talking about me?"

"I shouldn't be surprised, with a mug like yours. I simply assumed that, as the best non-Hufflepuff herbology student around, people would be talking. I have no actual experience of the fact." she grinned, and like a cheerful infection, something compelled Lockhart to grin as well.

"It is true that I'm good with herbs, but sometimes I don't feel like that's enough. I think the Hat sorted me wrong. I should have been a Puff and good what I'm supposed to be good at, rather than a Claw and bad at what I should be good at. I'm a bit of an outcast in Charms class. Everyone else can usually learn a new spell quickly, but I just can't do it. Having a wand in my hand is an odd feeling. I'd sooner trade it in for a shovel, at least that feels real. Maybe I'm just a very good squib." he sighed, suddenly dejected. Why did these things always happen to him? Why could be never belong?

"I could help you."

"What? But-" he eyed up her robes, "you're in Gryffindor. I'd be less surprised if that tie you were wearing was yellow. I'm not used to Gryffindors being nice to me; Daniel Jecks always punches me on the shoulder whenever he sees me."

"We're not all like that; you should know that from personal experience. Sometimes the Hat makes a mistake. I want to help you, I happen to be not bad at charms, and I know that if we just practiced together, you could unleash so much power! Do you know why I'm doing this? Last term in charms when we did cheering charms, I remember that you were really struggling. From the back, I saw you trying so hard; I just wanted to stand up and do it for you. And then something came over you. I saw the change in your face when you managed to cast it correctly. I don't know what happened, but we have to find a way to repeat that. Remember how cheered up your partner was afterwards? The guy couldn't stop grinning for hours. If you could do that again, you'd be invincible."

Lockhart thought back to that moment. It was hazy in his memory, but he distinctly remembered the other girl who'd commanded his attention. She was passing the open door of the classroom out in the hall and she looked distinctly unusual. Instead of the standard black robes they were all supposed to wear, she'd sported long sleeves made up of some light material that floated down so far as to touch the ground. Heavy spectacles were perched on her tiny nose and bushy hair covered the rest of her face. She'd seemed absorbed with muttering unintelligible syllables under her breath, even though Lockhart was standing almost next to her. For some reason, he'd relaxed and cast the charm without any effort. He hadn't even known he'd done it until he heard his Professor clapping at him for being the first one to master the spell. After the cries of 'ten points to Ravenclaw' had stopped, the girl was gone. Even after Lockhart had stuck his head out the door and swivelled it for maximum visibility he still couldn't see her. It was odd; after five years he'd seen pretty much everyone in the school at least once, and she didn't seem to be younger than him. On the contrary, the way she'd carried herself across the floor had been very mature.

"Roy, are you listening to me? Earth to Roy."

"Yes, right, that's a great idea."

"Fantastic." she beamed while he blustered. "I'll see you tomorrow at lunch; you can come over to my table. Then we'll talk further about our little meetings. I don't want to stay out any longer now, it's getting late and the caretaker might come in at any minute." she gave him a quick, almost inexistent kiss on the cheek and disappeared out the door. Lockhart was still too busy thinking about that girl out in the hall, thinking that there was more to her, to notice that Jeanne had gone. Jeanne was like a fairy, here one moment and gone the next, always on the move, always pleasant. She would help him find that girl, he was sure of it. In the space of a few minutes he'd grown up enough to understand that it wasn't girls like Jeanne who could make one happy, but nice, mysterious girls who lingered in shadows and were gone as soon as you wanted to see them. Jeanne had been that girl once when she'd met him a few hours before, but now that her mystique had been erased by earnestness, she was just a girl. Lockhart didn't know what he would do tomorrow, but at least it should be exciting. Things were moving so fast now that he'd turned fifteen. Why, a few days ago he'd only thought vaguely about girls, but now there were two who had his attention. He ran back to the castle through the deep mounds of snow and, panting, came back to his common room without being seen. Whatever the next day would bring, it should be more interesting than the day before.

Who knew, maybe he would even learn something.