Chapter 2
Still not mine, unfortunately. But I still love readers and their reviews!
Micah knew when Dr. Owens got assigned this case that it would be a difficult one for her. She was simply too compassionate. This man should have had a longer life ahead of him, should be around to watch his grandson graduate college, get married, and have children. But the sad reality was his heart was failing, and he simply wasn't strong enough for the operation to fix it. Dr. Bandari was trying to toughen Dr. Owens up; she thought Dr. Owens got too personally involved in her patients' lives. So she had Dr. Owens give the prognosis on rounds. She stuttered her way through it, desperately trying to find a silver lining in it all that just wasn't there. The man had 6 months to a year of life left, and that was life that he would not be able to live to the fullest. He would constantly have to be mindful of his heart. Speaking of hearts, Micah could see that Dr. Owens' was breaking, just a little. At the door Dr. Bandari stopped to tell Dr. Owens not to be so sad. It was an order from someone who wasn't at all compassionate, and he couldn't help but think that maybe that hurt her worse. So on his way out of the room, he stopped. He told her the thing that comforted him the most in difficult times, "It gets easier." He delivered his advice with a soft smile. She needed it he thought. She nodded and pulled herself together.
Later, he finds himself in his mother's room spending what little time he can with her. He can't stop thinking about how little time they have left. He was honest about her prognosis yesterday evening when he was talking to Dr. Owens, but he can't be now. He has to fight, has to make her think that she can fight. That's when he sees her, Dr. Owens. She is standing at the door watching him, well them actually, and she isn't just walking in. He can tell she needs something, so he tells his mother that he'll be back later. He could use some time too. She surprises him with the news that the cardiac patient has decided to proceed with a cardiac catheterization, in order to fight for a chance to live longer. What doesn't surprise him is that the man's insurance is refusing to pay. He hates insurance companies, more now that he has to deal with his mother's. He can't do this, not now. He just doesn't feel like there is enough time in the day for him to walk an intern through dealing with insurance companies. But if he is really being honest with himself it has nothing to do with that. He just can't talk to anyone about the odds of any given patient dying; it's hitting too close to home. So he orders Emily to deal with it, to find a way to make it happen on her own. Then he storms off. And yes, he knows that was a little too forceful. She is, after all, having a bad day too. And she really didn't deserve that, nor does she have any idea where it came from.
He finds out that she managed to get the procedure approved. That was honestly a lot faster than he was expecting from a brand new intern. It took him a lot longer to learn how to navigate the obstacle course of third party payers. He congratulates her for figuring it out; she really is learning quickly. And he takes the opportunity to apologize for snapping at her earlier. He blames it on "personal stuff" and tells her that nevertheless it shouldn't have happened.
Later, as he is filling out a chart at the nurses' station the nurses warn him that Dr. Owens has a crush on him. He feigns disgust with the amount of gossip and rumors that this place can generate and how quickly the staff can spread it. While internally he is thankful for the gossip for the first time ever. This is quite possibly the best news they've ever shared.
He is taking a little break in the lounge when she walks in. She hesitates for a minute, but then jumps into congratulating him for the cath going well. He is guardedly optimistic – the next 24 hours are critical. He apologizes again for snapping at her earlier. He just didn't think that not giving her the full explanation did it justice. She tries to stop him, but he realizes that he just needs to get it all out. Someone needs to know, and honestly everyone will soon enough. So out of the blue he tells her. His mom is the patient in room 501, but against all odds he really does believe that she is going to beat this thing. It happens all the time, why can't it be her? Then in the middle of the deepest most personal conversation he's had in a long time, Dr. Kopleson buts in. She makes some snarky comment about leaving them alone so they can "talk". He finds himself flashing back to junior high, and looks quizzically at Dr. Owens. Then he remembers the nurse's warning and smiles. She likes him. She blushes, but says she should explain. Then she launches into a story about confessing her love for Dr. Collins, her medical school best friend, and how he shot her down. Well that man must be stupid is all he can think, even if he is pretty disappointed that she isn't confessing her crush on him. He teases her, saying that he'll just have to spread a rumor about how he shot her down. She says she is used to it, and he sadly thinks that she is. She shouldn't be; she really shouldn't be.
As he is sitting with his mom before her first chemotherapy appointment, his pager goes off. The damn thing has the worst timing. It's the cardiac patient; his stents have clotted and now he needs open heart surgery. He is determined to ignore it. But his mom urges him to go. She plays on his guilt complex by bringing up what he would want her physicians to do. So he goes.
In the OR, Dr. Bandari is in a lighter mood. She is teasing him about surviving intern year, which he is all too aware that she made very difficult. She has to go and bring up the stutter he developed out of terror. But all of that is gone now. They are less than a year away from being full colleagues, and he has gotten to know her better over the years. Once you know her, she really isn't that bad. Emily is standing at the door watching the whole thing, and he knows without having to look at her that she is crushed inside when the patient crashes on the table.
It's been a long, long day, and all he wants is to get back to his mother, where he feels he should have been all along. So, as soon as he can he heads that way. But what he sees when he comes around the corner is totally unexpected. Dr. Owens is sitting next to his mother reading girly magazines. They seem to be getting along rather well. He smiles at that. However, he is concerned about her. "You just got off a 24 hour shift. You should be home sleeping." She smiles, "I wasn't tired, and I had better things to do." He knows that she was there only because he couldn't be. She just cares so damn much. It's unbelievable really.
He watches her go, clearly full of admiration for the young physician. "She's cute." His mother's comment breaks him out of his reverie. "I hadn't noticed." "Really?" she seems surprised. His mother knows him all too well, and she can be quite relentless. In an effort to change the subject he starts to talk about her disease. "You're going to make me talk about cancer instead?" she asks incredulous. He admits that he thinks Emily is cute. And his mother launches into one of her games of 20 questions, which she does for every woman he is interested in.