ILL WILL
I have returned, quickly, as many of you have shown support for this fic, and are curious about what is to come. I will tell you that my notebook is full of ideas, most of which will play out in a lovely fashion. My ideas about L's childhood, why he is the way he is, are rather different—perhaps that just how my mind is. I am going to try to pace the fic properly—as I stated earlier, I am going to try to make it quite long. So, don't worry about that. I'm not planning on giving up on this one. Way too many plot bunnies in my head, ne?
I'm considering a certain L-Impersonating Super-Criminal to make some kind of appearance in this fic...Many surprises to come, don't worry about that. Many things about L are going to be discussed. Because I like thinking about why he is the way that he is.
I just happen to love cliffhangers.
I have decided that the story will be 24 chapters, and an epilogue. Perhaps a sequel, if its popularity continues.
If you do not know who BB is, I suggest you find out.
Enjoy.
Exodus 2 : The Wind Blows Too Cold
"I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
Light had never realized exactly how quiet night time could be. Of course, that was most likely explained by the fact that L was usually typing away, working past most human limitations. It didn't matter what time it was—Two in the morning, six in the evening, four in the afternoon—he was working on that damn laptop.
He was starting to hate computers. More accurately, he was starting to hate the keyboard. He wasn't aware that the noise of ones fingers on the tiny keys could start to sound like nails on a chalkboard. Though, in L's case, it was different. He would never touch the keys fully, just use the very tips of his fingers, still typing faster than he had seen anyone type, with little breaks.
Someday, he would chuck it out the window. Or, at least at the detectives head.
These thoughts did send Light into a slumber, though it was in and out for the most part. Sleeping next to L was difficult in itself. Even though he was glad to see the sweeteater finally asleep (even though it really wasn't of his own freewill), he had become so accustomed to the annoying click click click of the keys, that the silence was making it more and more difficult to really get a grasp on any worthwhile sleep.
Funny, how he complained, got what he wanted, and still found a reason to complain. Maybe that was a trait he should work on.
It was unusually dark in the room as well, without the light from the laptop. He wondered if the other man saw computers in his dreams, when he did take his little catnaps. How could he not? Though, maybe L didn't dream at all. He didn't seem like the type to see beaches and unicorns when he closed his eyes. He probably just saw black, like a reflection of his eyes, back of his eyelids like mirrors. Light sighed loudly, turning over to see L, still in an unconscious state. Seeing the detective without his usually emotionless computer glare was nice—actually, in sleep, L seemed to have more emotion than when he was awake. He could have sworn that he heard noises from L's side of the bed, but that wasn't for him to look over and witness. Did the other actually sleep?
Frightening.
Those big black eyes weren't staring back at him. And that made all the difference.
Black eyes...That couldn't be normal, in any sense. Black, with another color, aside from Grey. His were so dark, that he couldn't see himself in them. That was frightening in itself.
But maybe that was what happened to a person who cared only for their profession, and nothing else. L was after Kira—end of story. Whether he was just against murder, or whether the case hit closer to home, Light didn't know. Come to think of it, he hardly knew anything about the detective, aside from the strange and irritating habits the other displayed, and the constant, almost scripted dialogs they had. L spoke in such a strict manner, that sometimes he felt like he was speaking to a dictionary. Dictionaries, that could give paper cuts without trying, and who put words together expertly.
Closing his eyes again, he was actually able to get a bit of rest. Enough to dream. But not enough to understand what it meant. He wished for once that he could have those dreams that didn't really needed to be explained—like getting a new toy, or seeing family. Not things like this.
Things that actually caused a shiver to run down his spine.
"And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright,
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine."
---ʢʞ---
This wasn't Japan.
In fact, aside from the rustling of leaves that he heard, and being able to breath, he didn't believe it was Earth at all. No place was so desolate. Deserts would be more welcoming. The problem wasn't the ground.
It was the sky.
Heaven couldn't exist, and this world was proof. No birds flew, no clouds, no blue oasis above his head. Dark didn't describe it, didn't do it justice. This was something far worse than he could describe.
"This is Kira's world."
Light turned, his heart stopping in his chest, as the pure silence was broken by the voice, low and sultry. It was impossible to see who was talking, with the current conditions, no moon in the sky, no stars, no lights on the ground either. Suffocating blackness. Breathing was a chore, as if the sand that should be on the ground were instead frozen around him, thick and unforgiving.
This was worse than hell.
Light wasn't Kira, and he knew this beyond a shadow of a doubt. The fact that this would be the world under Kira's rule wasn't so hard to believe. Killing wasn't right, even if the killer found a way to justify it. It was insanity. Insanity that would leave to children breathing this horror, and not being able to see their families.
" Are you frightened?"
He hated to admit it, but part of him was. It was like being trapped in a closet, when he couldn't find the light.
It would take torture of the worst kind to make him admit that, though.
Remaining silent, he started to take a few steps towards this person, this being, with the dangerous voice.
Not being able to see the hand in front of his face was frustrating, but knowing that there was someone in his midst that could easily do anything to him, was worse. Being left wide open was something that he tried to avoid, especially in todays world, with killers on the loose, and no way of knowing who was friend and who was foe.
" Who are you?"
Silence. Of course, he didn't expect an answer, not in this place. Yet he couldn't stop from getting more and more angry as the seconds ticked by, and he heard nothing.
Harshly, he stepped forward, grabbing the person wherever he could—it felt like his shoulder, and as his nails dug into the skin of what he knew now to be a human, at least, a sense of foreboding overcame him.
Bright.
Why was it bright all of a sudden?
This person in front of him...He could see a silhouette, but that was all.
That hair, that untamed hair, the height, the build, the very aura he was getting...L? Was this L, in this horrible place? He looked at the person, trying to decipher whether or not his hypothesis was correct.
Red eyes.
---ȾɁ---
"And I watered it in fears
Night and morning with my tears,
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft decietful wiles."
Eyes snapping open, taking a large amount of air into his lungs, Light sat up quickly, glancing around the room and making sure that the dream wasn't factual. With all the strange things happening, it wasn't too far fetched.
Why had he seen those things? Couldn't have been L...because that would mean that of all the things he could dream about, he was dreaming about the stuffy detective that he was stuck to.
Disgusting.
Chain jingling on his wrist, he glanced down at it, curious, because of the fact that he was sure he didn't pull it.
And he hadn't.
Click, click, clickThe keyboard sounded just as irritating as he had previously thought. And L's position, hunched over it, was the same as it had always been.
" L...What the hell are you doing?"
The detective didn't look up, as was usual when he was busy doing whatever it was he did during work hours (which was always.) Light didn't merit a glance, most times, which was just as infuriating as it sounded.
"What does it seem like I'm doing, Light-kun? Working, of course. Kira isn't going to catch himself."
The same smart ass response as always. Seemed like L had healed from whatever it was had ailed him the night before. Except...
That voice didn't sound quite right. Not as untouchable, maybe.
" As much as I know you would just love to pretend that I didn't see you collapse yesterday, I can't exactly let you. You need to sleep."
" I didn't collapse, Light-kun. I sat up too fast, got dizzy, and fell. And I realized I was a little tired, so I went to sleep--"
" Don't bullshit me."
L fell silent. His constant work wouldn't be interrupted just because of vulgarity, however, and it only took a few milliseconds for him to keep on typing, ignoring Light as much as he could, given the constant six foot maximum distance between them.
That was all it took.
Gripping the laptop quickly, he pulled it away from its resting spot in front of the genius, easily pulling it out of the others weak grip as he tried to pull it back.
" Light-kun--"
" No, Ryuuzaki. Sleep."
" I don't think that I sh--"
" I don't care what you think. Sleep."
L seemed horribly frustrated, but didn't know how to express it, which wasn't a shock. Standing up, he began to drag the other to the kitchen, only causing Light to start to complain instantly. The detective was having trouble, seeming to be slouching more than usual, tripping over his own feet. He flung the refrigerator open loudly, pulling a piece of cake out quickly, and beginning to eat it with his fingers.
Though L loved cake—that was common knowledge—this wasn't right. In a normal day, L would make Watari bring him sweets, or he would get it, put it on a plate neatly, and stack sugar, or little houses made of strawberries, or something slow and precalculated.
But this wasn't normal. L just stuffing his face like this wasn't right, it was almost like seeing a different person.
After staring for a moment in disgust and curiosity, he sighed loudly, taking the plate away and glaring at the smaller boy. " Don't eat it like a wild animal, get a fork, at least. I didn't think even you were capable of being so disgusting."
L seemed confused, about the others outburst. " I didn't think that you cared about my manners, Light-kun. Kindly give me the cake back. I'll use a fork if it pleases you."
Grabbing a fork from the drawer, and grabbing the strawberry cake from the boy beside him, he made his way to the bed, sitting down on it, and eating just as greedily.
Unable to shake the feeling that something was off, Light sat beside the other (as if he had a choice), and spoke to him softly. "How did you sleep?"
" Fine."
A one word answer...well, better than nothing.
" Dream about anything?"
"I don't dream, Light-kun. Too many things can come up in dreams."
He ran a hand through his hair angrily. "You can't choose whether or not you dream, Ryuuzaki. You have to have some dreams."
"Did you dream, Light-kun?"
That was a sore spot. Memories of what he saw in his sleep were starting to fade, as they usually did, but that last look wasn't something that would just dissapear. Red eyes...maybe an omen? It couldn't be a memory of someone. People didn't have red eyes. Just in fairy tales and scary stories.
"Just some weird things. Nothing serious. Dreams aren't serious, Ryuuzaki."
"Nightmares are, Light-kun."
He hadn't realized that the other had taken his laptop back, and was typing again. But he didn't have the energy to take it away this time. Maybe the laptop was like a security blanket to L? Though, nowhere near as soft.
Hearing a soft knock at the door, he glanced up, seeing Watari entering without a second thought. It didn't surprise him—Watari was always welcome, as he seemed to be the only one L would open up to. But why? Why someone like Watari, who didn't speak back...?
Maybe that was the reason. He wouldn't be judged.
" Good morning Ryuuzaki, Light. I hope you both slept well." As the man spoke, he was looking worriedly at L, who only looked up for a brief moment to acknowledge the elderly man before him.
"Fine, Watari. What is it that you need?"
The words were cold, at least to Light. But it went on, without any hard feelings. Did normal people, normal friends, speak so cruelly to each other? Wouldn't a nice, 'How are you' be better than just ignoring the others existence all together?
But he wasn't L. He was better, he had to be.
" I came to see if you had awakened...I was a bit frightened, as was Light." At least they had included him. He had been scared—to see someone as tough and unfeeling as L, falling down and into a sleep, wasn't something that could just be brushed off.
Something happened. But he didn't know what.
" Ryuuzaki...As you two are chained together, you have become quite close, and I do not mean that only in physical proximity, to be sure...I need permission to speak about a rather private matter, in front of both of you."
L seemed to be thinking it over, but he didn't answer for a fair amount of time. Light, in the meantime, was more and more interested in what was happening. Private things? How exciting...Maybe he would learn that L was a parent, or a psychopath, or a puppet.
All of those together?
" Watari...Light-kun is not being allowed out of my sight. Anything that you have to say to me, you can say in front of him."
The old man seemed shocked at that, but continued on without skipping a beat, dressed impeccably in suit and tie.
"As you wish. Ryuuzaki...The case in America, and in Britain, is being reopened. They have found new evidence, or so they say...Reporters cannot be trusted, of course. The news stations are not reporting on what it is that has been found, but I cannot say for sure. Shall I update you on the details when something new has been discovered?"
L's pale skin seemed to go a shade lighter, eyes going wide, and body starting to tremble.
What was this? What could have this effect, what could make L be this way?
" Please do, Watari...As soon as you can."
The man bowed, looking at L with a pity that was almost rude. Pity was the worst emotion that could be shown to anyone, especially someone as strong as L.
'Did I just admit that L was strong? Look at him—he looks like he would lose in a fight against Sayu
That wasn't it...Not exactly.
' Not physically strong, but mentally. Bastard sleeps once a week, if that, for only a few hours, and doesn't complain. That isn't something everyone can do.'
Giving credit to L was a rarity, but the look on the others face was quickly disturbing him to a larger point.
"...Ryuuzaki?"
Click, click, click
It occurred to Light that the typing began every time he bothered L with a question. Though he wasn't about to stop because of that.
"You just said that he could say anything in front of me. Is that because you trust me?"
" We are chained together. I don't see how it can be helped."
Brow furrowing in anger, Light leaned over to the other man, raising his voice enough to get his point across. "Is that all? What case, Ryuuzaki, you need to tell me. Is it the Kira case? Or is it--"
" Light-kun."
The name was spoken with such force, that Light moved away from the other, eyes widening at the pain in the others tone. This wasn't L. It couldn't be.
" Please. Do not push me, I am not in the mood at the moment. It is morning, shall we go to the office?"
It was sudden, and he knew that the other still wasn't well. But being stuck alone with the emotionless demon next to him didn't sound appetizing at all—maybe Matsuda would do something incredibly idiotic, for his entertainment.
It was worth trying for.
Nodding, he moved to get out of bed, keeping a close watch on the creepy genius out of the corner of his eye. If he fell, Light would catch him. And he found it hard to believe that the other was miraculously healed, after only a few hours of sleep. Something was going to happen...he could feel it in his gut.
Gripping his laptop against him, and walking at his normal gait towards the door, L opened it and allowed the other to follow, before safely shutting and locking it with a special card from his pocket. Wandering down the hall, the walk was rather boring—Light was too bothered by the others strange behavior (well, stranger) to talk, and L was obviously 'upset' about something, most likely whatever Watari had brought up.
He was very well versed on large criminal cases going on in other countries—but nothing came to mind that was centralized to both America, and Britain. Separate...?
There were more important things to do. He couldn't think about that—they needed to focus on Kira. If one average criminal killed ten people, then Kira could kill ten thousand. He was the biggest threat, the only threat that mattered.
Opening the door to the office, L wandered immediately to his computer without even acknowledging the others there—that same rude attitude that he was used to. He, however, was much more social—waving to his father, Matsuda, and Aizawa, and saying a slight 'Good Morning', he sat next to the moody detective, wishing more than anything that the other was less opposed to going outside. Offhandedly, he wondered how L would look with a tan.
Disturbing.
Switching on his monitor, he crossed his legs and waited for the logo screen to get moving. Matsuda was busy talking about some movie he had seen on television the night before, Aizawa was complaining about how more work should be getting done, and Soichirou was busy with paperwork. L was already working hard, or so it seemed, gazing through website after website.
He couldn't stand it.
"Ryuuzaki...What happened yesterday?"
That damn clueless look. "I told you, Light-kun. I stood up too quickly."
"And I told you already—bullshit. That doesn't happen, nothing that serious happened."
"Maybe I was just tired."
"That isn't healthy, damn it! When you are tired, you sleep—thats human nature."
"Maybe I'm not human."
He gave up.
That was always what happened—an argument. It was as if straight answers weren't available from L, not now, and not ever, not even if the subject were changed to something less personal.
About to retaliate, something was wrong. More than wrong—catastrophic.
Red lights were going off around the office, lights going off, computer screens flashing. Each one of the workers stood up in shock, all screaming out questions—except for L, who was as calm as he always was.
"What the hell is going on?"
"Security breach?"
And all of a sudden, the sirens stopped. And on each computer screen, an image flashed.
A young boy, with messy black hair, and big blue eyes. Pale skin, and circles under his saddened orbs. It couldn't be mistaken.
There was no one it could be, aside from L.
The words beside the picture were from a newspaper, dated September 24th, 1991.
12 year old boy, rescued from home after a lifetime of isolated captivity.
'Had never seen another person, aside from his mother and father'
'Hardly fed.'
'Unable to speak.'
Turning slowly to L, ignoring the gasps around him, the words of sadness, confusion, horror, he wasn't surprised to see the others face hidden, a cold chill seeming to emit from the detective.
"...Ryuuzaki?"
The computers flashed again.
The same font that they were used to seeing the letter 'L' in appeared.
"Hello, to all of you specialist police dogs. And to the lovely one that you work for. It has been a while, L Lawliet."
Two letters on the screen.
'BB.'
"And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning, glad, I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree."
-William Blake, "A Poison Tree."
Anyone surprised?
That chapter was a little choppy—I do apologize. I have all the ideas written out, but it is hard to make this story flow right.
Thank you, to all who reviewed. I really do appreciate it, and promise that the story is going to get better and better.
Please, read and review. Hope you enjoyed.