Knightwalker "Hey every one you can not believe my surprise when I got immediate response for posting chapter one. I expected it to at least take a day but instead I got reviews right away. I'd like to thank everyone for reading and everyone who reviewed. I got some helpful feedback. Also read whats below I didn't get to add it to chapter one sadly"
Sum; Piper didn't leave when Alex's mom died she left after. Farhi being secretly in love with Alex sends someone to kill Piper for leaving Alex but the man Fahri sent after Pier does something much worse. Years later Piper is taken to Litchfield on an entirely separate charge and meets up with Alex. However what is Piper in for? What did Fahri do to her? Did Alex know? Most importantly will how will they react to seeing each other, can there be a relationship or is there to much damage?
*pov may change or may not, italics are flashbacks and dreams, if you can't handle angst than keep reading because I will make you love it plus happy ending (I think Maybe. I'm a sap so probably :p), the only warning I can give you without spoiling the story is drug use.* Good luck (Updated)
Chapter 2:We meet again, is it downhill or up hill from here
Officer Nichols was right, me getting clean was not easy. In fact it is far from easy, it's hell. The vomiting doesn't even make the top five worst symptoms. No, first on that list is the cold sweats I get with the nightmares. Sure I'm used to waking up sweating and nauseous but with withdrawal it's a whole lot worse. Usually the heroin keeps the PTSD at bay but without it I'm vulnerable to the nightmares and hallucinations. On numerous occasions the nurses had to wake me up because my screams could be heard floors away. I tried to contain my screams but that only results in me waking up with bloody fingers from using my hand as a silencer. I spent a week in the hospital without drugs and I have sleep insomnia which isn't a concept that is new to me. Next on the list would have to be the scratching. My arms look like a million little knives went crawled over them. Up next are the tremors. Actually they're more like jitters , yeah jitters. I can't be still I'm always moving and shaking. I hate it because of the way people look at me. It's bad enough I am cuffed and guarded by a cop all the time but when people see the jitters their judgmental gazes turn into pity and disgust. Never before have I felt more like a drug addict than when people stare or look away as though they are embarrassed for me. Whenever I am sitting .which isn't often, my heels bounce on the floor making my whole body do this faint shaking movement. It's a good thing I signed the confession the day officer Nichols came by because if they had waited for my withdrawal to fully kick in it would look like a kid wrote and signed the confession. A sudden bump in the road breaks me from my thoughts and I turn to see the prison right up ahead. Well, looks like we're here.
"Welcome to Litchfield sweetie. How far along are you?" The classic beauty driving the van asked. I call her a classic beauty because she has her makeup done in a way that reminds me of Marilyn Monroe and her hair was short black and curled at the end. She sorta looked like a 80's housewife. If she was rich and not in prison my mother would befriend her. My mind suddenly went back to her question. For some reason I already knew she was asking about my withdrawal.
"A week." I said not at all embarrassed after all we were both in prison uniforms. I am also not surprised she noticed like I said I jitter like i'm an addict. I saw a lot of Alex's business so I know that my jitters are like a big red sign over my head with flashing lights that say 'I'm an addict'. I smile to myself when I recall how I used to be. How I used to look at those people with a mixture of pity and sympathy. Every time I saw one I would tell Alex she was the reason for it. All she would say was 'really Piper'. I look back towards Marilyn Monroe's sister ,or maybe cousin would be better, and ask "Do you know Nicky Nichols?"
"Yes she's a good friend of mine. Why, you know her?" The woman whose name I think is Laura says.
"No, I know her sister. Can you take me to her when you have the time?" I ask wincing as we hit another bump
"Yeah I'll tell her to come see you or better yet how about I introduce you at lunch?" Laura says
"Yeah that'd be great." My voice trails off softly. I sound tired, I am tired. With the end of our conversation the van comes to a stop. She leads me into the prison with guards in front and behind. I am nervous because I knew there would be a strip search and more uncomfortable things. I just hoped to god the guard was a woman. My prayers were answered but the guard being a woman didn't make it anymore uncomfortable. She didn't say anything about the old burn marks and the cuts along my body. Than again why would she, this is prison I'm sure many people who come through here have physical scars from the cruelty inflicted on them by others. I am made to squat and told to cough I guess they can never be too careful with a junky.
The woman from before leads me to a room with two bunkbeds and tells me i'm on the top. This is both good and bad. Good, because no one can pee on me in my sleep. Ridiculous I know but i've watched to many movies for it not to be a real fear. Bad, because when I can't fight off the fatigue any longer and fall asleep there is a very real possibility that I will fall off the bed especially since I am known to thrash around during my nightmares. She hands me a bag with a toothbrush, comb, tooth paste, brush, deodorant, lotion, soap, toilet paper, and a few scrunchies.
"Thank you" I say genuinely grateful because I was worried about how to acquire all these things. She smiled brightly at me and for some reason I blush.
"No problem darling. We have to take care of our own. I have to get to work. Once again my name is Lorna Morello It's nice to met ya." With that being said she zoomed off to, work?
"And my name is Piper Chapman." I say even though I know she is long gone.
The room is empty so I assume everyone has a job in here. I hop on the top bunk and stuff my care package into my pillow. Once again to many movies but one can never be too careful. I tried but failed to stop my eyes from closing.
"Look Vause, three people have been caught over there all of them got fifteen years each. It's too risky." Mace said pacing back and forth sweating. It was becoming clear to everyone in the room that he was using again. I just watched the whole situation from a quiet corner in the room like I usually did. With a sigh I got up to make some tea to get everyone calm. As I stood to move Mace stopped pacing and turned to face me.
"WHat about her?" He said pointing to me.
"What about me?" I asked my voice strained and my tone borderline angry. Everyone Alex worked with Knew I wasn't here for the business but to be with Alex.
"She could do it and easily not get caught. No one would suspect sweet blondie to be carrying billions in drug money." He said to Alex completely ignoring me and my words. As though I was some fucking 17th century house wife who doesn't speak for herself.
"Or maybe you could just do YOUR job." I shouted at him.
"You fuckin bit-"
"I dare you to finish that sentence." Alex said her voice tense with the rage that could clearly be seen in her expression.
"But she doesn't do anything around here." He says
"Of course not she isn't a drug mule like you are. You have a very simple job but if you are getting cold feet I can inform Kubra and we all know how he deals with people who get cold feet. Maybe if you weren't using like a druggie you would be able to do your job." Her words were cold and meant to strike fear and cut deep. He got up and walked passed me.
"Oh and one more thing Mace." Alex said standing as well. His only reply was to stop walking. He didn't even bother turning his head to face her. That must have been enough because Alex continued "Next time you walk in my house and insult my Piper Kubra will be the least of your worries."
Mace nodded and said "I'll where I'm supposed to be when I'm supposed to be." With that he walked out of Alex's home. I went into the kitchen while she spoke to the rest of the mules. As I stood there tears slid down my face. She defended me so fiercely and it made my heart flare with love. None of my past lovers or even my mother has defended me like that.
"Hey Piper. Come on don't cry. You know he was just some pissed off junkie." She said hugging me but I push her away and wipe my face.
"No." I say sniffling. "I've never been with anyone who thought I was worth defending. Hell my own mother doesn't think it's necessary to defend me when one of her stuck up rich friends calls me a failure in educated words. Thank you Alex."
She sighs and holds me as I cry a little longer. Afterwards I feel dumb for making such a big deal but when I voice my opinion she says
"Piper Chapman I love you and will never undermine your feelings. So never hide how you feel from me. Because you feelings fucking matter and if your mom and her stuck up friends don't see that then fuck 'em. "
"Hey. Newbie wake up it's time for lunch." Said a woman I have never seen before taps me and wakes me up. I get up but I'm covered in sweat and shivering. I struggle to get down the bunk bed because I had the jitters bad. The craving kicked in bad once I started to fully wake up.
"Hey came you tell me where the bathroom is?" I ask one of the woman I was following. She turn with an annoyed sigh but still led me towards a bathroom. We walked a far distance and I was beginning to worry. She turn finally getting a good look at me and said
"You're a junkie." It wasn't a questioned but I nodded anyway. "Withdrawal?" She asked and once again I nodded. "Alright. Well don't take to long. Missing meal times will be the death of you in prison." I didn't watch her walk away. I went straight into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. It was the first time in a week I really got a look at myself. Like really took in what I look like from head to toe. My skin is pale which is saying a lot since I'm naturally pale, the skin under my eyes is a purplish black, and I looked almost anorexic. I washed my face and looked up only to see them and her behind me. Sinking to the floor I cower with fear.
"It's not real. It's not real. It's not real." I dare not open my eye despite knowing I couldn't trust my mind. This happens every so often. Sometimes I see both the men reaching for me only to jolt wake and find myself alone. Other times I see nothing but I feel them, ghost hands groping and grabbing at my flesh but the worst of them all is when I see her. She is looking at me with anger and hatred than her face morphs into his smile. The sadistic smile of the spanish man but on Alex's face. Over the years I have used drug and liquor to avoid the nightmares and thoughts of that night which is probably why getting clean will be torture for me. There is nothing to ditter my mind from creating chaos and turmoil. Bring back memory after memory and making my thoughts run wild. Thoughts that question Alex's involvement in what happened to me and thoughts that remind me just how much of an impact my rape had on my life. It was at this point that I noticed something, something very familiar. A needle lying on the floor of the last stall. I stood on shaking legs and made my way over to it. I didn't think there was any left inside and even if there was I wouldn't risk getting HIV. I remember the agony of waiting in the room for the doctor to come back and tell me if those sick bastards gave me an STD but they didn't. It was a small happiness in a world of misery. After all even if they didn't give me an STD they inflicted so much pain onto me. The worst part of getting tested was that all the nurses and doctor made small comments about telling my significant other not to worry little did they know I wasn't there because of a significant other but because I was raped. Sure, they didn't know any better but overall I felt sick to my stomach. I knelt down to inspect the needle and saw that it was broken in two. One was the piece I saw and the other was by the corner of the toilet.
That's when I saw it, a hole in the wall. It was a small hollow hole. I stuck my finger inside and the whole tile came off. As though I had opened a door. I'm sure you all can guess what I found. Yep heroin and some red pills. To put what I was feeling into words is to complicated but if I had to I would say I was happy, scared, shocked, and excited. I didn't think I would find drugs in a prison so easily. I didn't know who they belonged to and I didn't care. As if acting on instinct I immediately started filling the needle only to realize what I was doing when I held the needle to my vien. I'm not even a day in and I'm already breaking my promise.
"Say it. SAY IT" He is screaming in my ear but I don't move to get away from him and I don't speak. He pulls a knife from his pocket only to be stopped by the white man.
"Don't start that yet i'm not done with her. Let me have her one more time than you can go all sadistic on her." He says reaching down and spreading my legs around him. He's about to enter me again when the spanish man holds the knife to her throat and says
"Remember who's the master and who's the surf in this union." The white man nodded at the other man''s words and back off. "You don't know what it's like to go hungry, do you Piper?"
The way he said my name with such venom made me wonder what I did to him do deserve such hatred. When I didn't answer his question he pressed the knife and slide it down my back. A scream bursted through me without my consent as he moved the knife from my back to my stomach in one long cut. I wanted the pain to stop and I wanted to die but he cut and cut but never deep enough for me to bleed out. It was around this time that I began to think I was never going to get out of this. They weren't going to stop and they weren't going to kill me. I kept asking myself what I did to deserve this. I asked myself that question for years even after they told me why they did it I still didn't understand what I did to deserve it. For what felt like hours he made me repeat his every word and if I hesitated he cut me. While I sleep at night those words still haunt me. He was a sick man that became more than obvious with the words he made me say.
"Call me a good boy." He said
"Tell me how worthless you are." He demanded
"Tell me how much you enjoyed our time together." He whispered
I began to sob quietly not wanting anyone to hear me. More than anything I wanted his words to stop echoing in my dream and thoughts. I remember the nights when I would wake up with his words sounding so real I locked myself in the bathroom. There was a time I tried to stop myself from falling into drugs. Tried to get clean. About the third night I got one of the really bad nightmares. The ones that leave me cowering in my bed to afraid to even run into the bathroom. I woke up with the searing pain of a knife moving down my back and the suffocating feeling of something in my throat. I gagged and leaned over my bed emptying the content of my stomach on my bedroom floor. Usually I could make it to the bathroom but the overwhelming feeling of someone holding me down prevented it. I wasn't just coated in sweat I was lying in a pool of it. The blurring tears and my unstable mind created and image of the spanish man at the foot of my bed. A metal knife in one hand and my blood in the other. "Repeat after me." He said and all I could do was move further into my head board. "I'm worthless." He said and for reasons I can't explain or just don't want to I said the same thing.
"I'm worthless." I said
"I don't deserve love." He said
"I don't deserve love" I repeated.
And that is how Larry found me the next day when he came to break up with me. Mumbling over and over how worthless I was in a catatonic state. He managed to shake me out of it but the damage was done. He had seen just how messed up and vulnerable I really was and decided I wasn't worth it. I respect his decision after all dealing with a victim of rape isn't a walk in the park. I'd rather he told me straight up her couldn't deal with my baggage than try to make it work and break my heart. Plus at that point we had already done enough trying.
As I sat there on the dirty cold floor those same words tormented my mind. I wanted them to stop and I only knew one sure way how. I took the needle and I stuck it in my arm. As I emptied the content of the needle into my body I gasped in relief. I laid there for quite some time enjoying the blissful nothingness my mind has become. I don't know when I started laughing but I did. I was ,for the most part, a quiet user. Meaning when I was high it was hard to tell because I was just quiet, relaxed, sleepy, and at peace. Some times I laughed but other than that I was quiet and sleepy. I turned to take another needle but stopped.
"Wouldn't want to Od again." I said to myself. I tried to get up but thought better of it and sat back down. I put the empty syringe in the toilet and put the drugs back in their place. I know that it might not be there next time if the person realizes someone used some of it but I couldn't risk getting more years by getting caught with heroin. It probably took this person forever to make the hiding place for it.
"Plus you're supposed to be trying to get clean. Having a secret stash isn't going to help that effort." I mumbled to myself getting up.
"Hey newbie you in here." Says a hoarse voice from the entrance. I see a blondish haired woman who kinda looks like officer Nichols.
"You wouldn't happen to be Nicky Nichols would you." I ask staring at her.
"Fuck You wouldn't happen to be high would you." She says sarcastically. "Yeah I'm Nicky and yeah I know who you are."
She curses one more time before getting me to fully stand up. She walks into the stall and puts me facing her at the stall entrance. When she sees the syringes she curses even more.
"How much did you take?" She asks as she shakes me.
"One hit I swear. I didn't want to OD again. Doctors said I wouldn't survive a third time." I say looking into her eyes when I finally stop swaying and she finally stops shaking me. She is looking behind me when she says
"What's wrong Vause?" My blood runs cold and slowly I turn around to see the woman who stole my heart and never bothered to return it. I smile not at all surprised.
"Don't freak out Nicky. This happens sometimes when I'm high. I see her and she smiles at me and hugs me like we never split apart. When it really starts to kick in we'll be in my house and I'll be makin-" I stop smiling immediately and turn to Nicky.
"Nicky why are you seeing my ex-girlfriend. Are you high too. WAIT THAT MAKES NO SENSE." I start breathing frantically. I hear Nicky tell me to calm down but I ignore her and turn back to ,real Alex? I swallow the saliva in my mouth and stare at her. "Alex" I didn't have time to think about how pathetic and desperate my voice sounded.
"Piper?" She said with confusion and shock written in her voice and her expression.