Disclaimer: As much as I wish for it every Christmas to Santa Claus, no. I do not own Gakuen Alice.
Mikan had stopped believing in fairytales long ago. She once believed in them, she believed in true love, in fairy godmothers granting good girls their wishes, in dreams coming true and dashing princes rescuing their damsels in distress just like all little girls with eyes too bright, dream of. But then, against her wish, she was robbed of such beliefs when her dad abandoned her mother and her. So when girls kept on believing that their handsome princes would come riding on their white horses, she knew from enough experiences of waiting long nights with her mother and holding her shaking body all the while waiting for her dad to come back and rescue them that it wasn't true, that waiting was in vain and that there were no princes who would come to her rescue, how could there be when men could only abandon and break? No, she could never be a princess. Never be wanted by a prince or adored by others, she could never be a hero when she was left broken. As a child she came to an early realization that she was on her own and that the only fairytales that she would experience were in storybooks.
So when she stood there as two strangers bowed in front of her and gave her all the grace and respect that a princess of a story would get, Mikan felt hollow. She looked towards her mother for an explanation for all this absurdity, but her mother's expression only confused her more and gave her the haunting feeling that her mother knew something that she didn't.
So instead she turned towards the men who were still kneeling again. She walked towards them and bent to their level feeling ridiculous. "I'm sorry, but there has got to be some mistake." She said evenly and started getting up as they straightened.
They looked towards one another and then towards her mother who simply stared at Mikan with a soft frustration that made Mikan grow pale. When it was clear that her mother wouldn't be giving any answers the two men in black turned back to her and responded, "We know you may be confused, but this is not a mistake. We actually thought you were more informed…" The men turned back to Yuka who finally snapped back to attention and frowned at the two strangers who were looking questionably at her.
She straightened up and spoke to the men in an icy voice that Mikan had never heard her mother use; she didn't even know her mother was capable of being this cold, "I have some things to talk to my daughter about and I would appreciate it if the royal family would give us space."
The men looked at each other before the taller of the two replied politely, "of course, we will let the king and queen know. They eagerly wait for your response but you should know that this matter has been leaked to the media so we will need an answer within two days."
Her mother's glare could freeze volcanoes, "We need more time than that."
Mikan snapped her gaze to her mother. Time? Were they really going to think seriously about this? Was there any doubt that her answer would be anything but a no?
The men seemed to visibly sweat and Mikan felt sympathy for them, "We're really sorry, but that is the king's command. You see this matter is not only important to Japan but worldwide. So we really need an answer in two days time because the prince must marry by the end of the week, the day after his eighteenth birthday."
Mikan gaped and despite herself asked, "Why? Why does he have to?"
The men turned to her, almost grateful for a chance to look away from Yuka's intimidating glare, "It's the law. The prince must have a wife when he takes on the role of the crown prince as an adult."
Mikan blinked and before thinking, asked again, "Well can't you change the law?"
The men turned quiet for a moment before the taller one spoke again, "Well it has never been considered. It has been the case for a long time now, it is tradition that all crown princes take on a wife and tradition is something that the royal family puts in high regard, for what are we, without our culture and the traditional ways that those before us have made?"
Mikan was speechless. That was their reason? What a stupid reason! This was the 21st century; no one got married at 18! She looked at the men as though they had acquired another head. The men looked back at Yuka, feeling uncomfortable with Mikan's gaze only to feel more awkward with her mother's icy one.
The men cleared their throats and spoke looking at the ground, "Well then, we will come on Wednesday to take your daughter, Mikan Sakura to the Palace if that is what you decide on." And with that, they leave the house.
Mikan looks at her mother as the door closes and engulfs the two females in a thunderous silence. Realizing Mikan is going to have to be the first to break the silence, she asks her mother, "What was that about?"
Her mother turns away and sits on the sofa, Mikan mimics her, sitting opposite to see her mother's facial expressions. When she said nothing, Mikan prodded, "Mom?"
Her mother sighed deeply and put her head in her lap, her reply was muffled but Mikan heard her loud and clear, "It's your dad."
Mikan's mouth fell open, she was caught off guard, "What?"
Her mother looked up and Mikan could see the pleading in her eyes as she explained, "I never told you all the circumstances as to why your father left us."
Mikan recoiled and held up a hand, "Mom, stop. Why are we talking about dad?" Mikan didn't want to hear it. Just hearing her mother saying the words out loud made her flinch, '…your father left us.'
Her mom's eyes softened and she sighed. It was a terrible sound, it made Mikan feel old, like she had lived lifetimes watching her mother hold in her words and feel pain without ever showing it.
"Sweetie, you need to hear this. I would never tell you this and I thought I would never have to but, now you need to know." Her mother took a shaking breath.
Mikan readied herself for the worse, she got ready for the impact that she felt coming, but when her mother said the words, she knew that even if she was given a forever to prepare for this, it wouldn't have been enough. "Your father is dead."
Mikan's mind went blank, she felt her insides go numb and only her mother's words resonated in her head, over and over again. She felt all expressions slip from her face and with emotionless eyes looked up to her mother and choked out a, "what?"
Her mother pressed her lips together, and Mikan registered vaguely that this hurt her mother as much as her "Sweetie, he died a week ago. He left behind nothing for us but he did leave you inheritance."
Mikan couldn't bother with what he left or what it was but she knew that it was important or else her mother would never mention it, not without letting her process the first news. "What did he leave for me?" She couldn't hear herself but she did hear an echo which she guessed would be her voice.
Her mother held her gaze for an intense moment and replied evenly, "He left you Japan. He gave you the key to rule over it."
Mikan nodded numbly, slowly processing, "An engagement to the prince."
Yuka didn't answer and watched as Mikan slowly nodded and excused herself for the night. Her mother knew better than to tell her to stay for dinner, she knew neither of them would be able to eat tonight.
Mikan stumbled into her room and without any sensation made her way to her bed, sliding under the covers. She was shivering, she didn't know why; all of a sudden every part of her had gone cold. She lay for a few moments and then automatically, as if her body had stopped listening to her mind, it acted on its own and she shuffled towards the corner of the room and kneeled down, opening the floorboards there. She pulled out a music box and a picture. She opened the box and listened to the melody, feeling her body warming as it always did by listening to the tender tune and watching as the prince danced with his princess to the song. She gazed lovingly at them, resting her left cheek on her knee. Slowly, tears started forming and blurring her vision, but they didn't spill until she took out the photograph and let her heart burst with the weight of loosing a loved one. She looked at the picture which felt like it was taken during a past life, where a little girl with pig tails and eyes too bright grinned toothily at the camera and the handsome man next to her watched her with a loving expression as he held her in his arms. Mikan cried all night.
She hadn't cried this much since she was young. She had never felt pain this terrible since the day her father left and then never came back. But then she promised herself after that that she would never cry again. She could almost laugh at the irony; she ended up breaking her promise for the same reason. This time though, it was different. He was gone, really gone and there was no chance of seeing him again. He wouldn't surprise her one day by showing up at her door, she wouldn't run in to him in the street by accident, and he would never come back when she needed him most, as is usually the case in movies and books.
It occurred to her that night, how fragile a human heart could be and how easily bonds could break and just how weak love was. She realized that unconsciously, she had been waiting. She thought that she wasn't but not a day had passed that she didn't think he would come back, for her. That was how hope was. It broke all logic and made you unreasonable. And now that was gone too, it should've been a relief, not having to wait on the sidelines, but it wasn't. It was painful to have no hope at all.
She cried out of loneliness, and called out to her dad in the dark, only to realize all over, that he didn't exist in this world any longer. She cried for the little girl who only got a few years with a father and she cried for the girl who would never have a father for the rest of her life. There would be no one there to protect her from the world, to walk her down the aisle, to be the grandfather to her children. She gasped for air, feeling as though a part of her heart would never be whole again. He had taken it with him where she could not follow.
When the sun rose, she watched it with dried tears. She wiped her eyes and closed them feeling the sun's warmth on her face.
She opened her window and breathed in deeply. She would not cry another day or another night. She would not. He had left her for a second time; he didn't deserve to be bawled over like this.
Never. She thought, never will she weep over him like that. What had he ever done for her but break her over and over? She put back the music box and the photograph. With more feeling she got up and took a shower trying to wipe away her sorrow for the past eight years. When she was done she felt lighter but her heart still pressed painfully against her chest, she knew that was a pain that may never disappear and if it did, it would come and haunt her again and again. Death has it scars that live within you until it too consumes you one day.
It was mid day when Mikan finally left her room. She made her bed and put away the music box and picture inside the floorboards; she took a deep breath and patted her cheeks, then walked downstairs to her cozy kitchen.
"Morning sweetheart," Mikan almost jumped out of her skin as she turned to her mother's voice sitting on the table, leisurely sipping her coffee. Her mother smiled a small smile, Mikan could see it took effort; they had both spent the night crying away their sorrow. Mikan gave an answering smile and grabbed the coffee.
Her mom continued to survey her; Mikan knew what she wanted to ask but was hesitating to, "What kind of person was dad? Was he royalty?"
Her mom looked ahead at the wall almost as though she was lost in another time, "He was the crown prince's second in command." Mikan raised her eyebrows at this.
"Your dad and the crown prince were really close; they were best friends in fact." Her mom smiled ruefully, lost in the past.
"They did everything together, when the crown prince got married, his wife was jealous of their friendship. When I met your father, I was your age, he was a little older but I fell deeply for him. He was charming, handsome, and so talented. We both fell in love deeply and soon, he was proposing. I was only twenty when he proposed and I was so in love that I didn't stop to think about the future or life after a commitment. I eagerly accepted." She furrowed her eyebrows and looked at Mikan with shinning eyes.
"I don't regret my decision, I never will. I loved him and I still do. But at that time, I wish I had waited a little longer. When you were born, we were ecstatic; your father stopped his job at the palace, saying it was taking up too much time and you needed him more, so he started teaching. I was happy, those years were happy." Yuka sighed and Mikan knew what was coming.
"He got a call that night. I don't know who it was or what they said, he told me not to worry about it and just go to you. I did as I was told, and waited for him. He never came back." Her mother blew out a shaky breath and blinked back to reality.
Mikan narrowed her eyes, "What happened to him, mom?"
Her mother shook her head, "The news two days later was the death of the crown prince, so I suspected something happened in the royal family that I wasn't aware of."
Mikan sighed heavily; it didn't explain why he didn't come back. Was this a mystery she would never figure out?
"Wait, that doesn't explain how he could have enough power to acclaim me as the fiancé of the crown prince." She pointed out, none of this made any sense to her.
Her mom furrowed her brows, "I don't understand. All the men that came yesterday told me was that it was the inheritance that Izumi left. I guess it has something to do with the previous crown prince."
Mikan was thoroughly confused, why would her father leave her with an engagement? Couldn't he just leave money so that her mom wouldn't have to struggle to make ends meet? Although if she did get married to the prince, she wouldn't have to worry about that either. Still, money couldn't possibly be the reason why he gave this to her, could it?
Her mother's voice broke her out of her reverie, "Have you decided on the proposal?"
Mikan snapped her eyes to her mother's. "I'm not leaving you for an idiot prince I don't even know, mum."
Yuka smiled wistfully, "That's not what I mean," Mikan looked away, "It's the same thing."
Yuka got up and sat next to her daughter, gently pushing her long hair back, "sweetheart, I'd rather you not get married at sixteen, not worry about leaving me."
Mikan grinned, not taking the conversation seriously, "Maybe I'll get married and steal all their meat and then get divorced."
Her mother sighed, "Mikan, life at the palace is lonely, as beautiful and inviting as the castle looks, it's not at all like that. You will be alone and everyone will look towards you, people will go to lengths to mock you and bring you down. It's a hard life, and while I have no doubt that you can handle it, I don't want you to do something half-hearted."
Mikan nodded, it wasn't like she had ever thought of actually ruling a country or getting married anytime soon. In fact, she didn't think she would ever be able to trust a boy enough to give her heart to him much less get married to him and promise to be his forever. She had already seen how real life stories ended, and in them, there was more heartbreak than happiness. As for ruling, she still hadn't decided what she wanted to be in the future, so ruling a country was never in her plans.
She turned to her mom and shook her head, "Mom, this is absurd, you seriously want me to think about becoming a princess and throwing away everything in my life in a day?"
Her mother grinned, "You have to realize that life has its way of being dramatic and of making you go through unreasonable situations."
Mikan grinned back, "That doesn't mean I have to comply with it." Mikan turned to the window and tenderly said, "I guess there goes my last chance of knowing anything about who my father was."
Her mother squeezed her shoulder, "Actually there is something else, the men brought this with them and I was going to give it to you last night but I thought you already had enough to deal with." Her mother took out a cream envelope and handed it to Mikan.
Mikan Yukihara
The handwriting in the middle of the envelope looked eerily familiar but she couldn't point out whose it was. On the top right of the envelope, she recognized the royal seal she had seen in her text book, she turned to her mother quizzically, "What is this mom?"
Yuka grimaced slightly, "It's a letter from your dad to you, and he wrote it a week ago was what the men told me, just before he died."
Mikan gulped and put the letter in her pajama pocket, she didn't want to read it and most likely cry in front of her mother any longer.
She turned to Yuka and smiled with effort, "How do you feel about a late breakfast?"
My Dear beautiful Mikan,
You are so grown up, I'm watching you walk on your way back from school and it is taking all I have not to walk up to you and embrace you. You look just like your mother, you have her beauty and charm, and I'm worried there are going to be too many suitors coming for you one day and I won't be there to protect you from them.
Your mother raised you well; I can see by the stance of your shoulders that you have confidence and I see in your eyes that you are tremendously kind to others, and I am so proud of you. Your smile didn't change, it was one of the things that worried me the most, I was worried that you would forget to smile when I left you, but you didn't, you still smile as brightly and innocently as you did when I last saw you.
Mikan I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, I have many regrets but know that you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me, those years that I spent with you and your mother were the greatest years of my life and wish as I may, I can't go back there any longer.
I miss you so much, I miss you everyday and my dear, I love you so, so much. You can never know how much you mean to me, but know that there isn't any power in the world that can ever take away my love for you.
I have to keep this letter short as time is running out. I know you are very confused, you just found out that you are betrothed to the prince of this country. Mikan, I want you to get married to him. I know what I'm saying is so unreasonable, and my beautiful Mikan, I would never let you marry anyone for as long as I lived if I had the power to, but I am desperate and out of options and as unfair as it is for me to ask this of you, I know you'll listen.
There are evils in the palace that I could not stop, there are bad times coming and unless someone stops them, we are all doomed. I would never let you go into danger but I know that if it's you, you'll be able to do what is right. You've always been so brave, and you always do the right thing, it sometimes amazes me that you are my child. This is unreasonable and I can imagine your mind going in circles, but Mikan I would never ask you to do something unless I thought you could do it, and I know you can.
You have disappeared into the corner of the street and I know that I can't follow you there, there is so much more that I wish to tell you, but alas, our time has ended. I'm sorry it was so short, and I wish beyond all reason that I could throw away everything and come running to you, but I can't. I am chained in so many places.
But I love you so much, I always have and I always will no matter where I am. Even if you can't see me, I'll be watching over you.
With much love,
Your father.
Mikan read the letter three times over, trying to make sense of it but again coming up with nothing. She felt stray tears escape and wiped them furiously, stupid dad, what have you ever given me but sorrow, why should I ever listen to what you have to say?
But she knew as she looked up to the sky and found the polar star as the echo of a past memory came to her that her choice was made the first time she read the letter.
A little girl with pig tails looked up at the sky and shrieked in her high pitched voice, "Dad, look at that star! It's the biggest!"
The man next to her chuckled and looked up as well, "It's the polar star."
Mikan turned to her dad with shining admiration, he knew about everything in the world, he was so smart, "A polar star?"
The man smiled and scooped up the little girl in his arms, his eyes danced as he looked at the girl tenderly, "Yes, it points north sweetheart, it's the end of the handle on the little dipper. If you're ever lost, follow it and you'll find home."
The girl was quiet and nodded thoughtfully, "So you'll be on the polar star?"
The man blinked and then grinned widely, "Yes, I'll be on that polar star pointing you the right way."
Just as she had in the memory, Mikan looked up at the North Star and wiped away her tears, then whispered to the dark, "Are you pointing me to the right direction right now, dad?"
Mikan didn't sleep all night again. She packed all her things along with her dad's gifts and his letter. She was restless, she turned on the TV but when she saw that she was on the news, she turned it off hastily. She packed and unpacked all night going back and forth. Was she crazy for doing this? She would go read her father's letter and be determined only to think of her mother and let her determination fall altogether. When morning light came and she heard a limo pull in front of her house, Mikan was exhausted.
She walked downstairs with hair resembling a haystack and skin that looked a bit too pale. She walked to her front porch and realized that it wasn't only a limo that had pulled up but also the vehicles of what seemed to be hundreds of reporters. She blinked as flashes from every direction blinded her and she registered a bit slowly that the reporters had just caught her in pajamas and bed hair, not to mention her face without being washed on camera. She couldn't even feel the horror of the picture being on TV anymore, the night had probably dulled her senses.
"Miss Sakura, have you made your decision?" One reporter yelled at her, Mikan turned to her but before she could pin point which one it was, another question was thrown at her.
"Is it true that you and the prince have been on friendly terms from before?" Mikan gaped, what?
"Some of the children have said that the prince hugged you in front of the whole school, is that true?" Her eyes widened, were they talking about how he used her to get away from his fan girls?
"Is it true you're childhood friends and he proposed long ago?"
"Are you in love?"
"Did he really take you to Venice and get down on one knee last year?"
Mikan's head spun, she was going to faint if they didn't let her process what was happening. Then as though the men had heard her silent plea, the same two from before came and stood protectively in front of her as about a dozen others who were dressed in the same black suits and sunglasses got out of the three limos and made a protective half circle in front of Mikan.
The shorter of the two men who shielded her from the reporters opened her front door and led her inside as the reporters went haywire behind her.
"Are you alright Ms. Sakura?" The men asked in concern.
Mikan rubbed her temple and nodded, not trusting her voice.
The men looked to her worriedly, "Is you mother home?"
Mikan nodded again and looked around for any sign of Yuka. She walked upstairs and knocked on her bed room door, it was six a.m., and normal people would be asleep.
"Mom?" Mikan called out to the door. When there was no answer, Mikan twisted the doorknob and entered her mother's room. Lying on the bed with the covers twisted around her, was Yuka, Mikan could tell she was restless, her eyelashes kept quivering and she was mumbling. Mikan's resolve almost broke all over but she held on the tiny pieces of her dad's words that she remembered.
She knew she couldn't tell her mother, she wouldn't let her go, saying it would be far too dangerous. With a shaky breath, Mikan walked over to her mother's bedside and scrawled a tiny note, she knew she was being a coward, but it would be too hard to say good bye to her otherwise, this was easier.
Hey mom,
I know you're going to think that I'm crazy but I have decided to get married to the prince. I read dad's letter and he told me that he thought it was a great opportunity. Mom you always encouraged me to do the best I can and to make my own choices. You told me that even if things go bad, it's ok, all I have to do is learn from those mistakes and they'll never happen again. So I know that even if at first you'll be mad at me for this, you'll forgive me and eventually support my rash decision that I know I'm not giving you enough explanation for.
I know it won't be easy. Marriage is something I'll have to compromise on, I can't stay locked away like a princess so when the time comes, I'll escape. For just a little while, I want to see and know what dad does, I have only a few memories of him, I want to know him and when life gets hard at the palace, I'll imagine dad being there, and maybe I'll find him in some book, or some hidden mark on the castle wall.
I love you a lot and I will miss you so much,
Mikan.
It had seemed as though Mikan's life had really taken a turn for the dramatic, with letters on every corner and a castle awaiting her arrival. If she had the time, she would stop and laugh at her life but since she didn't, she simply bent over her mother and kissed her lightly on the cheek.
She left her mother's room quietly and went to the washroom, quickly and thoroughly brushing her teeth and washing her face, she changed into a pair of dark jeans and a black button down shirt that she thought looked decent. She didn't know what to wear when meeting the royal family but she knew that whatever it was, she wasn't going to find it in her closet.
She smoothed her hair and put it in a low pony tail where it tumbled down to her waist. With one last look in the mirror, she grabbed her suitcase and satchel from her room then walked down the stairs.
The two men in dark suits took her suitcase; she was really going to have to learn their names. She turned around and took one last look at the house trying to commit it to memory, knowing she wasn't going to see it for a while. Then, before she could let herself fall into sorrow again, she walked out the doors and was greeted by more flashing cameras and reporters tumbling over one another to ask her their questions. It seemed as though their number had doubled in the last half hour.
Mikan forced a smile as she walked to the limo with as much grace as she could muster in the early hours of the morning. She got into the limo and watched as her house disappeared behind her. There, now it was too late to go back on the decision without humiliating herself in front of all of Japan. She had made the rash decision and now she was going to have to stick to it.
With a nod of determination, Mikan turned in her seat and looked out the window as she made her way to the palace to be among complete strangers.
"Mikan Sakura, as of yesterday was just another ordinary girl, but today, she is the fiancé to the crown prince of Japan and the future queen of this country. With an average height of 5'4, Mikan-sama has long sparkling mahogany hair and a deep set of hazel eyes. All in all, she is quiet a pretty young girl and her smile can melt glaciers; her looks would complement the prince's usual stoic and cold but beautiful features."
The TV blinked to show a girl with long brown hair in a black button down and a simple pair of dark jeans.
"Pretty?" He muttered to himself, "Please, she's so plain, it's painful." He looks away from the TV as the news caster describes her charming qualities, being especially smart as she is a scholarship student at Japan's most renowned education facility.
That caught the boy's attention; he had thought she was another rich student at the prestigious school. But before he could ponder on it, the TV blinked again and the news anchor smiled with amusement as he talked about his fiancé.
"A picture has come in of the lovely Ms. Sakura, soon to be Mrs. Hyuga; it seems she has greeted the reporters early in the morning dressed in quiet some charming apparel."
The TV turns to the picture of a girl with messy hair that seemed as though a chicken nest was within it and in Pajamas shorts and a tank top, there was obvious sleep on her face and she had a comically blank expression on her face.
Despite himself, the young prince cracked a smile of obvious amusement, the girl was definitely princess material.
A/N: WOW. I was sooo surprised by the reviews, I almost had a heart attack when I checked my email in the morning and it said that I had twenty five new mails in my inbox. Thanks guys, there was no better way to wake up. So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it, don't worry, the next one will be better, with more Natsume x Mikan!
Oh and also I don't know who it was (the reviewer was called Guest) but yes you are right! I did get my inspiration from Goong, the k-drama. I thought I mentioned it before…but anyway, the story won't be the same, the drama had too many boring political issues that bored me…well, anyhow hope you liked this chapter, and thanks so much again!