A note: It has come to my understanding, that some readers are thinking this is an accurate representation of my life, that I am this hateful to the said cousin, and I hate his unborn son. Here is a copy of a private message to a reader who left a review on my oneshot. I hope after you read the oneshot, you read this note and understand the whole BACK STORY before you comment about how harsh I am. My apologies for not offering much background information.
Dear reader,
Thank you. I know you have the kindest intentions for me. Honestly, I have tried this tactic. And what you may not know is that my WHOLE family is twisted and messed up. All of my family members are greedy, cheating, lying b*** who have taken advantage of me and my parents on so many occasions that we don't know who and who not to trust.
And the bad blood goes even before he got married. It had been going on for a decade, ever since I was a little child. It seemed over the years, he thought of me as some burden rather than a blessing to have me as a cousin but I was always too blind to see that. I was always putting more effort than he was into the familial relationship. I would send him gifts, I would send him greetings, I would send him a happy birthday greeting. And he would never reply to me.
Then my parents had to tell me that for some reason his parents (my aunt and uncle) were angry at me. For some reason I couldn't fathom. For five years I desperately tried to patch up the fraying ends of our relations. I would call them, email them, send them gifts. But they always responded in a manner that it felt like getting a door slammed in your face. I blamed myself for something I couldn't handle. I thought I would do anything to mend things. But then my mom told me my dad distanced himself from his brother, and I should distance myself from my cousin. It was hard. Do you think this happened overnight? Guilt ate me every night, and for months not one night passed without wet eyes. But then I realized: he wanted to use me.
When he got engaged, I was demanded to go attend his engagement to be some sort of doll in a dollhouse, to give off this illusion that we are a happy functioning family. My parents had told me not to go, and begrudgingly I obeyed. Then when he got married, he demanded me to fly to Ohio (pay for my own ticket, hotel and food) to a wedding during a weekend of my SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL. That is an unreasonable demand, and when I politely declined to his fiance that I won't show up, he got so angry that he cut off all communication. And to be honest, I didn't mind.
He is expecting a baby. I don't know if they will hold a baby shower. I don't know if I will be invited. I don't know if I will want to go. Here's the thing: I DO NOT HATE THE UNBORN CHILD. I am afraid of being used. I am tired of being given false hope that everything is okay, when IT IS NOT. Before you comment under my story telling me how harsh my decision is, please know that this one shot is NOT exactly how my past has been. I just want to vent. I am not super angry at him. I am hurt for being thrown to the side and then expected to act as if nothing was wrong. I wish nothing but the best for the child.
And this one shot is not 100% a representation of my life. There are things I had to manipulate to make it, because I cannot completely express myself without people claiming that this one shot is totally whack. Yes Alex, Max and Justin are OOC. Yes some things are manipulated. But they are done so to express my dark thoughts. Writing helps me feel safe, and content that I can express myself without giving a direct shoutout to the person who wronged me.
I hope this expresses your concerns with the oneshot. Thank you and good day.
Infinite Snow