ANNOYING
DEFINITION: Overused.
.
LIFE
DEFINITION: The thing you fail at.
For some reason, many considered the above definition offensive. So it was heavily edited.
LIFE
DEFINITION (ver. 2): The thing Lovino Vargas and Antonio Fernandez Carriedo fail at.
There was less annoyance about this, because nobody knew Lovino Vargas or Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, and part of the human instinct is to disregard everything that does not concern you.
Lovino Vargas and Antonio Fernandez Carriedo knew each other, but they did not know about the definitions, so the second version of the definition stayed unedited for the rest of what one can call eternity, and neither of them are at the moment, annoyed about it.
.
"Hey, you, stop going so fast."
Antonio stopped, turned, and saw an annoyed Lovino.
Said Lovino folded his arms in sheer annoyance, and stopped too.
"Aww, Lovi, why? It's such a beautiful day! The sky is so blue, it reminds me of my best friend's-"
"Ex-best friend."
"Ex-best friend's eye colour!"
To Antonio's great dismay, Lovino frowned even more. He appeared to consider the sentence for a moment, and then his face expressed what one would usually call "total, absolute annoyance". This is not a rare expression for Lovino's face.
"The sky's colour is sky-blue. Francis Bonnefoy's eye colour is shitty Windows 7 background-blue."
"I like Windows 7 blue!"
"The actual colour isn't even called that, you moron."
Antonio did notice that Lovino has failed to explain the reason why he stopped walking. Being dead, things like exhaustion, weariness, being out-of-breath, and time in general does not affect them. The general concept the designer of the Universe came up with was something similar to, "you're already dead, which is totally pathetic. So I spare you the even larger amount of pathetic of being exhausted, tired and breathlessness brings. Thank me."
Those who know the designer of the Universe consider him a very nice man.
The sky above them goes through fifty shades of grey and blue every day, and fifty shades of extremely dark purple and extremely dark blue every night. Somehow, there is always enough light to see the steps and make them sparkle.
"Am I really going too fast?" Asked Antonio. He is now slightly concerned for Lovino. But then, he is always slightly, if not extremely concerned for Lovino.
"No, you bastard, of course you're not! Now shut the hell up so I can sit in peace."
Being of slow reflexes and hilarious dim-wittedness, Antonio suddenly noticed that Lovino was sitting cross-legged on the sparkly stair he was standing on previously.
"But, why would you want to-"
"Shut up!"
"Okay, okay, the boss gets the message."
"I said, shut the hell up!"
With his outstanding powers of observation, Antonio noticed two things: the first one is that maybe he should stop talking. The second thing is that Lovino's annoyed face is a deep scarlet. At first he was worried. Did Lovi get blood all over his face? But they are dead. Perhaps he ate too many tomatoes, but they didn't see any on their way here.
It finally occurred to him that Lovino's face was simply flushed. For what reason that is, Antonio has no chance of guessing, being the annoying dimwit he is.
Perhaps he should sit down too, not that he is expecting to get leg cramps from standing too long here, on the stairway to heaven.
So he did exactly that, and the two watched the pleasant light blue sky, pleasant few white clouds, and the somewhat pleasant sparkly stairs.
An unpleasant thing intruded upon their peace, not that the phrase "rest in peace" does not work anymore. "Rest in peace" always works. It is just extremely improbable, and the dead understands this better than most of the living.
The unpleasant thing in question was voices. Loud, obnoxious, annoying, familiar-sounding voices are flowing up the stairs. Those who own the voices are presumably, not far behind.
"Will there be pasta for dinner?"
"I repeat, there will be no such thing as pasta for supper! What an absurd thing to suggest, five times a day!"
"Shut your mouths before I shoot you both!"
"Ve!"
"Big brother, you don't have any of your firearms with you."
"Don't cry, Feli, there will be pasta!"
"Yay!"
"Vash, you made our little Italian cry. How could you?"
"Not my problem! Stop him from running across my yard first. And where's my rifle?"
"Please act civilised!"
"Vash, remember the fact that we are all, dead. You don't have a gun or a yard anymore."
"Vash?" Asked Antonio, loudly. Lovino, who was listening intently, made a growling, severely annoyed expression on his face. The effect it could have had was ruined by the blush, which for some reason, is still there.
The company beneath them stopped.
"Who the mother fuck was that?" Demanded the owner of Vash Zwingli's voice.
"It sounded like a certain Spaniard we use to know, didn't it?" Said the person who most likely is Elizabeta Héderváry.
"Ve…" Lovino wishes that his useless, annoying little brother isn't here, but he is anyway.
"Antonio Fernandez Carriedo." The German accent belonging to Roderich Edelstein stated.
"Big brother-"Lili Zwingli failed to finish her sentence.
"-Ooh, I can see them!" Cried Feliciano's voice suddenly.
Antonio and Lovino looked down. The steps were transparent, and so they could see the annoyed/slightly surprised/smiling/Italian/slightly surprised/neutral faces of Roderich, Lili, Elizabeta, Feliciano and Vash.
Antonio laughed his annoying and highly irritating laugh. Lovino flipped them the finger. He then noticed the presence of Lili and Elizabeta, and pulled his hand back immediately upon the realization.
Racing down the stairs, Antonio continued to laugh his annoying and highly irritating laugh. The surprise on the other party is wearing off rapidly, and both Roderich and Vash's expressions expressed annoyance.
"Ve! Big brother!" Feliciano raced up the stairs, and in doing so, collided with Antonio, and somehow managed to not fall off the steps together.
Lovino's face stayed annoyed.
"Go away. I thought I'd have some peace here."
Unknown to Antonio, what made Lovino flush was something that would have totally thrown him out of his mind if he knew what it was.
A history of that certain thought:
Lovino have been staring at Antonio's back as they walked upwards for a while. This is when the thought appeared. Lovino attempted to suppress it, failed, attempted again, failed again, and so on, in an annoying cycle. In the end, Lovino gave in and the thought was exactly what he thought about when his annoyed face was busy turning red.
Elizabeta hugged Antonio happily, while everybody else watched. In the "everybody else" group, only Lili and Feliciano were happy, and the reason of their happiness is that they are always happy, so they don't count. Therefore, nobody else is happy at the moment.
"Ooh, I know how to make everyone happy!" Feliciano suddenly thought of something. Vash sighed in annoyance.
"What?" Asked Elizabeta.
"Everybody walk up the stairs together!"
The "everybody" in question stopped, and stared at him.
The designer of the Universe though about getting rid of the thing known as "awkwardness" in the non-mortal worlds before, but decided that he couldn't be bothered.