Hey so I'm risen from the dead! Hehe I don't really know what to say except school has been very busy. Enjoy!

Tales of Gwaine

Merlin wasn't exactly sure how Gwaine had managed to break into his chambers, especially with all the protective wards he had placed in the area. He should have known better though. Gwaine with a pitcher of mead in his hand could be inexplicably brilliant.

The Court Sorcerer waited with an amused expression as the drunken knight stumbled around his chambers before finally taking notice of who had appeared.

"Merlin, mate! Funny seein' you 'ere!" He joyously exclaimed in a slightly slurred fashion.

"I should say the same about you considering these are my chambers," he said bluntly. "How on earth did you even get in?"

"Well the window was open."

"What?!"

"I got one o' the new recruits to make me all sticky and I jus' climbed. Your door wouldn't open, mate."

Merlin looked at him with exasperation. "Did you ever think maybe that was to prevent drunken rogues from barging in unannounced?"

Gwaine shrugged. "Slipped my mind," he said with a devilish grin. "That's beside the point. I needed to talk to you."

The warlock stepped forward, taking on a look of concern. "What is it Gwaine?"

"So you know how the princess made you wear that pointy hat for the knighting ceremony last week?" Merlin scoffed.

"Of course I do! He was on his most prattish behavior that day, and his ridiculous requests were not making it any easier to deal with him."

"Well, wanna get back at him?" Merlin paused as a mischievous smirk slid across his face.

"What did you have in mind, Sir Gwaine?" He asked as the knight began to reveal the details of his wild plan.

Arthur awoke the next morning to dark and empty chambers. Merlin, it seems had let them sleep in again. He had been much more careful about waking the royals up in the morning, now that they were married. That was fine by the king. The previous day had been filled with exhausting counsel meetings on a new peace treaty, and near endless grievances from the people. He was quite alright with this, he thought as he turned on his side to gaze at his wife, sound asleep. Just then, he heard a soft knock at the door.

"Come in," he called quietly, in an effort not to disturb his queen. Merlin gently opened the door and carried in a platter filled with the royal breakfast. He was dressed in his usual shirt and neckerchief. Arthur wondered why he insisted upon wearing his old clothes when he and Guinevere had given him a whole wardrobe full of new ones. They even looked strikingly similar to his regular attire, just with some added flair and decoration. Merlin was adamant though. Makes it feel like nothing has changed, he had once told Arthur when questioned about it. Arthur understood completely. It was similar to how he insisted upon keeping some of his manservant duties, or continuing his medical studies under Gaius; it reminded them that while it seemed at times like everything in Camelot was completely different, nothing had changed about their relationship. They still mocked and insulted, still joked around like brothers, still were attached at the hip, always there for each other.

The two exchanged soft smiles until the peace and quiet was disturbed by a loud crashing. Gwen rolled over without even bothering to open her eyes and called out, "Good morning, Merlin!"

"Merlin, you dunderhead! Why did you have to drop the plates?!"

"I didn't drop the food though!" He replied cheerily.

"The all powerful sorcerer can't even handle carrying a couple plates."

"Well maybe I wouldn't have to if you would get off your lazy arse and help me."

"Boys settle down, or I'll have to ground you both,*" came the sleepy yet amused response from the bed. Merlin quickly set down the tray on the table and set two places for the Royal couple.

"Well if you don't mind, I'll be going now," said the warlock as he made to exit.

"Wouldn't you like to join us for breakfast, Merlin?" He shook his head.

"As much as I would love to Arthur, I have a few things I need to attend to. I'll be by later! Enjoy!" With that, he rushed out of the room.

"Well that was strange," mustered Arthur.

"I should think Merlin being strange wouldn't be new to you. You know him better than that," was the snarky reply from the queen as they sat down for breakfast.

It was just past midday and the King had yet to catch even another glimpse of his Court Sorcerer. He had scoured the castle all morning in an attempt to find his missing friend. He just knew he was up to no good. Arthur, however, had a banquet tonight that preparations must be made for. Whatever his fool of a warlock was up to, it could wait until later. He strode down the hall towards his chambers, attempting to put it out of his mind for now. A shaggy brown head poked around the corner as the king walked off.

"Is the coast clear?" Whispered Merlin.

"Yeah, mate. It's go time," Gwaine said excitedly. Merlin handed him a bag filled with a number of oddly shaped objects. Don't forget that once you set it, all it has to do is be opened and they'll start spilling out, so get out quick." The knight nodded eagerly.

"And you'll be alright with your part?" He asked. An affirmative nod was all that was needed.

"Now let's go!" Shouted the warlock as they ran off in opposite directions to propel their plan into action.

Arthur did not see Merlin until the banquet was just about to begin. He sprinted in at the last minute, stumbling over his dark blue cape in his scramble to his position next to the king. He gave his friend a withering look for his tardy arrival. This banquet was to celebrate the peace between Camelot and the magical realm. A number of Druid tribes were in attendance tonight and it was impertinent that everything be done to prevent any strained relationships. He heard a snicker amongst his Knights attracting his attention to Sir Gwaine, who was wearing devious smirk as he giggled to himself. He's up to something, the king thought to himself. He ignored his bad feeling as he stood up to address the hall. "People of Camelot…"

Merlin stopped listening as soon as Arthur started speaking. The fun was about to begin. He began speaking to the Druids telepathically.

Please do not give Arthur any indication that I am speaking to you. Not a single Druid moved as Merlin surveyed the crowd. Thank you. I have a little, er, surprise planned for Arthur in just a moment, and I ask that you try not to give it away to Arthur please? I want to see how long it takes the prat to figure it out. A few Druids glanced curiously in his direction, but otherwise made no indication that anything at all was said. Merlin locked eyes with Gwaine who gave a discreet nod. He ducked his head, muttered a spell under his breath, and watched the madness unfold.

The first to notice was Gwen. Arthur's hair had begun to look almost tinged with green, but she put it down to lighting. When it began to look a bright lime green, she stared in shock. Glancing at the crowd she saw that most were looking as stunned as her, yet the Druids were acting as if this was completely normal. She snuck another look at her husband, who's cloak had begun growing feathers. Still no reaction from the Druids, or a surprisingly stoic Merlin who was pointedly avoiding looking at his king. Gwen was certain now of what was going on. Satisfied that this wasn't another weird threat on her husband's life, she sat back to watch the show.

Merlin smirked at the gaping nobles as he whispered a few more spells. Arthur's ears began to grow exponentially in size until they resembled those of an elephant. Muffled laughter from the crowd gave the king pause as he turned to his warlock. Merlin simply stared blankly back at him and shrugged. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion but turned back to the crowd to finish.

"I thank you all greatly for attending. Enjoy the celebrations!" He finished with and sat down. It was met with strong applause, but it could not cover up the laughter that erupted throughout the crowd. Merlin smirked as he stole a glance at his king's nose that had grown tremendously. His hair was shifting from stripes to plaid to polka dots. Arthur leaned over to Merlin.

"What on earth did you do, you idiot?!" He whispered angrily. But Merlin just stared at him, trying to contain his laughter. Arthur quickly looked down at his reflection is his plate, but nothing seemed amiss. It was just his normal face.

"I know you did something, and I will find out what." He muttered.

"Whatever you say, sire," came the sarcastic retort. The king was on edge for the rest of the evening in anticipation from whatever his Court Sorcerer had planned, but nothing ever appeared to happen. He received many strange looks throughout but no one, not even Guinevere would inform him of what was so funny. She had just smiled and told him not to worry. Merlin had put on a rather impressive display of magic as part of the entertainment. Dragons made of flames had flown around the hall, swooping and diving in an intricate dance. In combination with his complex light show, it was quite enough to impress the nobles and Druids alike. The ensuing peace set the king's mind at ease. Soon after, the banquet was over and the king retired to his chambers. He was on his guard as soon as he saw Gwaine and Merlin conversing while sneaking glances at him. Maybe now was the time to worry about whatever they had been up to.

He cautiously opened the door to his chambers and was hit with a wave of heat. His chambers were boiling! The second thing that hit him was the smell. It was absolutely atrocious! It smelled rotten, and it made him gag. Pulling his shirt up over his nose, he stepped in. It seemed as if a fire had long been burning in the fireplace, heating his chambers to extremely high temperatures. He and his wife would most definitely not be sleeping here tonight. The strong smell that had permeated the room made it a bit difficult to find where the exact source was but Arthur eventually discovered it. He tore back the covers of the bed to find all manner of stinky and disgusting cheeses (some half melted) along with old fish hidden in the sheets. Throwing the cover back over them to hide some of the smell, he began to walk towards his wardrobe. He would simply have to grab some nightclothes before he found a more suitable room to sleep in. As he pulled open the doors to his wardrobe, he was blasted backwards into a wall by the force that came from the wardrobe. Arthur regained his senses enough to realize he was covered in something slimy. A lot of somethings. He bolted upright, pushing the things off of him. His room was covered in jumping, slimy, green things. Frogs. Hundreds and hundreds of frogs. Staring at his wardrobe where they had all come from he glimpsed a jar from which more were emerging. In the mirror at the back of his wardrobe he finally saw what could only be the work of his wayward Court Sorcerer.

"MERLIN!" The cackling that was echoing down the halls and the sound of retreating footsteps were all he needed to know exactly who the culprits were as he took off down through the castle after them.

Thanks for reading! Reviews are welcome!

-^Stormwolf^