From an early age I wanted to be just like my father, he was everything you could hope to find in an Alpha. Well that's what I thought anyway he was strong, proud and would never back down from a fight. Sure looking back I did deserve a few of those slaps across my face. I was a wild kid, after all and it wasn't uncommon for me to come home a little bloody after starting a fight at school.

My mother would try her best to clean me up before my father came home though. Than when he did he only ever had one question for me. "Did you win?"

Many times I would nod with pride as I smirked, "Yeah I did. He didn't know what hit him." At those times he would give me a proud smirk of his own and leave it at that but those other times…when I looked away and shook my head.

He'd sigh before I'd feel his hand on the back of my neck. "And why not?" He'd ask not that it mattered. Either way his hand would slap me hard on the back of my head. "Pathetic, can't even win a fight. What kind of son are you?"

Normally at that moment my mother would walk in, take my hand and lead me out. Once she dared to even glare at him, "Markus he's only nine."

"He's old enough. When I was his age I never lost a fight." He would answer.

In return she'd shake her head, "He's not you."

"He will be." He'd answer as my mother closed the door.

She than turned back to me and whispered, "Gilbert, never turn out to be like your father…" She knelt down to me and took my hand into hers, "I don't care what he says winning fights isn't everything."

"But…" I looked down at my feet, "You have to win fights if you're a soldier."

"No."

At that I looked up at her in confusion, "No?"

Her eyes were sharp as she took me by the shoulders, "Gilbert promise Mommy you will never become a soldier."

"But…"

"No. Promise Mommy right now." She was on the verge of tears so I just nodded, "Say it."

I swallowed hard as I spoke, "I promise I won't be a soldier Mommy." I didn't understand why it was so important to her since we came from a long line of soldiers. At the time that's what I thought I was supposed to be anyway but she knew better. She understood completely what that life would do to me and she'd rather die than see me take the same path as my father.

Later that night as I laid in bed listening to my parents bicker back and forth I snuggled up under the blankets knowing that they were fighting over me. Even after I heard the loud sound and her fall to the ground with a thud I didn't move. My heart stopped for a moment as I clung tighter to the sheets around me thinking that he had killed her but soon I heard her burst out and tears. For that second I was actually relieved but soon that relieve disappeared as I spent that time listening to her cry. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I ran to her side and protected her in that moment but…the only thing I ended up doing that night was cry myself to sleep.

My siblings were still too young to know what was going on. Even as they got older I shielded them from what was happening behind those closed doors. What my sisters knew I'll never know and as for Ludwig…he still refuses to talk about it. The only thing I was sure about during that time was that I'd never become the Alpha my father wanted me to be. I vowed to myself that when I got older I would never hit either my Mate or my litter.

I only ever told one person about my life at home. She was an omega but she acted more like a Alpha half the time and it always drew me to her. "Gilbert what are you doing now?" She asked me one day as I sat alone drawing.

I shrugged as I turned the picture over as she sat beside me, "I'm not always doing something Eliza." I answered as I stuck out my tongue at her. "Why don't you go bug your mate?"

At that she hit my shoulder, "Leave my Roderich alone."

"He's so girlish how can you find that attractive?" I smirked right before she took my picture, "Hey!"

She jumped up and waved it in my face, "At least he can draw better…." She stopped as she looked down at what I had drawn, "Gil what is this?"

"It's nothing." I said as I grabbed at it ripping it in two in the process. "Just give the other piece back."

Eliza stared at me in shock before she slowly handed it back, "Gil do you want to talk about it?" Even at the age of thirteen she was destine to be a nurse or at least a very overly protective mother. "Hmm?"

I held the paper to my chest as I shook my head, "I really don't. Can we just drop it?"

"But I don't want to drop it."

"Because you're so damn nosy." I sighed as I pocketed the paper, "I'll tell you later okay?"

She nodded slowly, "Okay…" She said quietly before hugging me tightly.

"Hey…" I started before I hugged her back not caring who was watching or what they were saying, "Elizabeth…"

"It's okay." She whispered softly as she kissed my temple.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I buried my face in her shoulder finally letting some of my walls come down. "No…" I managed after a moment, "It'll never be okay." It was the first time I broke down to her but it wouldn't be the last. The last time would happen a few years later…