Hi, everyone...I know it feels like it's been forever since I've posted -- my deepest apologies to you all, but I hope the chapter will be better for it... This is the first real chapter of the story, but I skipped to chapter two so all the numbering stays the same. The bolded italics at the beginning of the chapter are the lyrics, and the regular italics are what is really happening to the elderly Alanna...The rest is her memory. Thanks as always to my beta C. McPherson, awesome beta that she is!!!
Disclaimer: See Prologue
Chapter 2
Wash away the thoughts inside
That keep my mind away from you…
The sky was an eerie, depressing purple-black. The clouds tore apart like the coarse wool of a sheep-skin blanket, and the rain pounded on the Earth. The thunder rumbled majestically, as the wind howled its agony and fury. A small figure threw herself into the glorious tumult, not willing to let go of her misery…and a memory came to her…
Alanna lay on her blanket, listening to the winter rains and thinking about the past week, remembering every detail of her argument with Jonathan with astonishing clarity. The young knight kept remembering her former lover's expression during the fight – he looked so lost and confused, torn between his anger and his love…
And immediately, her thoughts spiraled into a reflection of her own actions and words. She had spared no mercy with her comments, intending to wound him as much as (if not more than) he had wounded her by "not waiting for her answer." And looking back, he was right, she may not have told him that she wanted to marry him verbally, but all her actions had said it for her. She grimaced, remembering how completely she had torn him down, to the point where he had to retaliate or sacrifice his pride and dignity...
Lightning lit the tent all of a sudden, throwing the scene into high relief. Alanna noticed that even Faithful had chosen to sleep somewhere else – she had outcast everyone with her harsh words. Tears of misery and loneliness tracked their way down her face, silently belying the turmoil in her mind. She turned and buried her face in her pillow, sobbing herself into an uneasy sleep….
She was back in her old rooms at the Palace… No, she was dreaming that she was in her old rooms. Jonathan sat on the floor, arms resting on his knees, his back against the frame of the door connecting his room to hers. A rose – the deep blood red of Alanna's favorite variety – hung limply from his fingers. He was gazing out her window, as if lost in some distant memory…She watched a tear slide glittering like a diamond from his eyes. It fell slowly – time stretched out – and shattered on the flagged stone like glass. He whispered to her, almost so quiet she couldn't hear it, "I'm so sorry, my darling. I'll always love you, Alanna. I only wish I could hold you and take back everything I said….Goddess, Alanna, I'm so sorry. I love you so much….Good night, my darling…"
He stood up, and laid the rose on her bed, before leaving her room and shutting the door.
Two hundred miles away, Alanna woke up, still crying. "Goddess, what have I done? What have I done?"
A/N: I hope you liked it. Review? It'll make me happy!!! (And I'll give you lot electronic brownies with the next chapter...)