"Lance, why do you keep running off?" Hunk gasped seeing Lance's eyes wide, hand on blue and tears streaming down his eyes.
Lance swallowed hard and, not making eye contact with anyone, began running off in the direction of his room. He couldn't hear anything besides his heavy breathing running through those halls. Perhaps he just wasn't listening. He knew they were following, maybe they were talking but he seemed too distant. The blue lion was still there; she was the only one who he could hear.
He finally made it to his room and turned around, locking it before anyone had the chance to get in. Locking it? Oh, yes, he remembered how to do that. Did he? Yes, it was locked now. Or maybe it wasn't. He didn't trust himself. He threw his helmet to the side. He heard them on the other side but at the same time, they seemed distant. He didn't understand, they were right there yet they were muffled. Bang. He flinched. Bang. His breath came in more quickly. He tried to calm himself down. Bang! He moved back in fright desperately looking at his bed for something to calm him down. He found headphones. Green ones that he couldn't reach out for. They made his eyes even damper. How could he have forgotten her? What was wrong with him?! Bang! The door was getting louder. He ran to the bathroom. As he made it, he caught himself in the mirror. Bandages? When had those gotten there? He yanked them loose and moved them away from his head. A cut? He ran his finger over it and flinched. It hurt. He didn't like seeing his face. His blue eyes red and puffy but still crying. His lips were quivering and his whole body was heaving for air. He couldn't breathe. Why couldn't he breathe? His trembling hands made their way towards his face. He didn't like this cut so he began pulling at his hair in a desperate attempt to cover it. Bang! His hands began shaking even worse. They were speaking to him. He wasn't listening. He was still pulling at his hair to keep it in front of his face. His hands growing quicker and more violent as the time passed. Strands of his hair falling to the ground at each yank. BANG! He screamed. Not one that was scared more of a desperate cry that came out as a scream. He didn't want to scream, it just came out and that caused him to bawl even harder. The mirror had multiplied. He saw his reflection in hundreds of differently shaped sections. His hand was crumbled in a fist now dripping blood and trembling even more. He screamed again. This time out of complete anguish. Raising his bloody fist up once more. It made contact with nothing.
Arms wrapped around him. He panicked. He couldn't tell who this person was. Someone wrapping their hands around him keeping his arms at his side and another was holding his wrists down. He began to kick in desperation to get free. His eyes closed unwillingly at one point. Speaking… when had he started doing that? "No! Let me go! Leave me alone!"
"Calm down," Shiro was behind him. He was getting it. Shiro was the one keeping his hands down. "Lance, please. It's okay," He opened his eyes. Shiro was definitely behind him. He could hear his voice but didn't see him in front of him. Hunk was in front of him holding his wrists down.
"Coran? Pidge? Any day now," Keith? He furrowed his eyebrows. His eyes were too blurry to make out nothing more than Hunk's face but he felt him. He was holding his kicking legs down.
"Shut up. We're trying!" She was moving about the room. He could trace their movements. There were too many people around him. He wished he could vocalize his concerns in a way they would understand but he couldn't. He wasn't even sure that he understood. He just knew that them holding him down was much more frightening.
"Eureka! Here take them," Coran threw something. Keith let go of his legs but someone else moved in his place. He found them a lot stronger. Definitely Allura. He wanted to move his legs, arms, something so he slammed his head back. He hit Shiro on the chin with his head. It caused his head to hurt a bit more and caused him to cry because he wanted to apologize but couldn't find the words.
"Keith!" Shiro yelled into his ear. Keith was fumbling with something. An orange bottle. Hunk had his wrists so he twisted his hands uncomfortably making Hunk's grasp loosen for a moment trying to adjust but Lance snatched his hands away in that moment and snatched the bottle from Keith. Opening it with one swift motion. He brought it to his mouth and tilted his head letting them slide into his mouth in a hurry.
"Not that many!" A hand grabbed his hair and pushed his head down. Keith, Lance recognized. He was keeping his head down not letting him swallow. He then moved his other hand to his face and squeezed his cheeks until he forced Lance's mouth open. "Spit them out!"
"Lance!" He felt a hit on the back of his head hard enough to make him spit out all the pills that had made their way into his mouth.
"Pidge why would you hit him?!" Hunk scolded.
"He wasn't spitting them out! I panicked!" She argued. Keith had let go of his hair allowing him control of his head again. He grabbed two spit covered pills from the floor a bit in disgust and shoved them into Lance's mouth. Lance made no move to spit them out dry heaving them. Coran followed his movement and quickly pushed a cup filled with water to his lips. He began swallowing it greedily. The hands that had once been holding him still were loosening cautiously testing how far they could get. As soon as he could, Lance grabbed the cup and even more quickly began drinking the water.
He took the pills and that reassurance that he would be fine helped him calm down just a bit. They couldn't do it by themselves though. He curled in on himself flinching when his bloody knuckles touched his knee. He looked at it for only a split second before moving back towards his bed and grabbing his blanket. He yanked it off and wrapped it around himself, over his body and covered his head. He was calming himself down. Breathing in, holding it, letting it out.
"Lance...?" Allura stepped forward.
"Lance is not here right now," His voice was muffled but he continued to talk after he let go of his breath. "Please leave at the sound of the beep," A moment passed in silence.
"Shouldn't you beep?" Pidge questioned with a small laugh.
"…I don't want you guys to leave," He whispered. Shiro sighed and he heard him slowly get up. A small pinch of pain formed in his chest at the thought of him leaving. Instead, he felt someone sit next to him.
"We're not leaving," Shiro reassured.
"Even if you wanted it," Allura chirped in as she shuffled closer.
"We would never leave a young friend alone," Coran gasped. "What are we? Heathens?!"
"Definitely," Pidge moved closer as well. Sitting in front of him. "But we're heathens together,"
Hunk gasped. "Excuse you, I am not a heathen,"
Pidge nodded. "You're right. You're the cinnamon bun of the group," Lance chuckled at that which caused Pidge to glow with pride.
"Keith is definitely one," Shiro added.
"Hey!" He spoke up with fake annoyance made clear by the small smirk on his face. "Shiro you're one to talk. I'm allowed to stay without getting insulted!"
"No, only I get full privileges since I'm his best friend!" Hunk smiled.
"Full privileges?" Pidge scoffed. "Full privileges to what?"
"Perhaps he means to take care of Lance," Coran piped up.
"Oh no way," Keith argued. "I used to spend my nights here anyways I could just-" He stopped himself from saying anymore when he saw the other staring at him with shocked expressions. Even Lance had moved out from under the covers to stare at Keith. "That's not what-"
"Oh please, tell me what you guys were doing every night," Keith's cheeks turned red at Pidge's question.
"Oh God please keep it to yourself," Shiro pipped in.
"We just hung out!" Keith argued.
"A vague story," Allura laughed.
"Well, that's all we did," He huffed. "He just gave me facemasks and talked about stupid stuff, isn't that right,"
"What the- don't throw me under the bus with you," Lance covered his head with the blankets again. "Nu-uh can't remember,"
"Yeah hu!" Keith moved closer. "What the hell do you mean?!"
"Nu-uh,"
"Yeah hu!"
"Nu-uh,"
"Yeah hu!"
"Nu-uh,"
"Keith he has like 3 siblings I think he can keep this up longer," Hunk laughed. Shiro was currently groaning into his hands in irritation.
"Four, I have 4 siblings," Lance whispered more to himself than anyone.
"Aw poor Keith," Allura teased. "First the bonding moment now this,"
"But that still-"
"Keith shut up a second," Pidge moved forward and sat directly in front of Lance. "Keith's weird phrasing pushed aside are you serious about not remembering even after being with blue?" They were all silent. Everyone looking at Lance. He moved his head in what looked like a nod and Pidge threw her arms in exasperation. "Great! There goes our biggest plan!"
Hunk sighed. "It's alright we can fix this! Just you know, ease him into everything he knew and then just wait,"
They all stared at each other a bit unsure about this until Lance sighed and fell against Shiro who quickly caught him before he fell to the ground. His face was still covered so he just mumbled into the blanket. "I'm sorry for hitting you Shiro," He pulled the blankets off of him. "I was panicking,"
"Yeah I know," Shiro smiled at him. "Sometimes I lose touch with my surrounding after a flashback,"
Lance looked at him with sad eyes for a bit before curling in on himself. Hunk moved his hands around him and let him lay down on his side. He happily did, letting out a long sigh. "Lance we get it," He assured and began petting his hair. "You're fine,"
"Yeah even though you told Keith, Keith, of all people first about these," Pidge picked up a small pill and threw it at Lance with a smirk. It hit his arm softly. "We're not mad,"
"Hey he didn't even mean to tell me to begin with," Keith argued.
"Can we not talk about those," Lance groaned.
Coran picked one up from the ground and held it close to his face. "Hm, perhaps I can mimic these," He popped it in his mouth and began chewing until he made a gagging sound.
"Ew gross Coran what are you doing?!" Hunk shouted.
"Yeah, those were in his mouth!" Pidge shivered.
"Yeah, and they're not for you!" Lance shot up and began picking them up. "They have side effects! They're only for people with…" He stopped himself. "Do Alteans even get affected by these? I only have a couple left, please don't waste them,"
"I am not wasting them," Coran chipped up. He hit Lance's hand upwards and caught some pills that flew up. "I am merely experimenting,"
"Wait, Coran where are you-" Keith stopped watching as Coran ran off with a handful of pills in hand. "Should I try to go after him?"
Lance let out a long sigh and he moved back between Hunk and Shiro. "It's fine," He said. "I'll be fine,"
Allura stood up. "It's alright to ask for help Lance," She smiled at him. "I may not understand what those are for but I'll go see what he's doing," She was holding her fists in determination and ran off after Coran.
"And then there were five," Pidge smiled.
"Actually one," Lance spoke up. "Can I have some time for myself?"
"Nope," Keith answered almost immediately. "No offense but I don't trust you to be alone,"
"But I'm tired," Lance looked up at him with fake puppy dog eyes. "It's creepy if you watch me sleep. I just want a bit of rest," Keith groaned a bit in discomfort about to cave in when Shiro suddenly placed a hand over Lance's eyes.
"Nope you are not doing that," Shiro looked up at Keith. "And you are too weak against him,"
"Honestly," Pidge agreed. "I'm practically immune to those puppy dogs of his,"
"What the-" Hunk sighed. "I'm not,"
"You give Lance anything anyways," Keith grumbled.
"I'm not even going to lie, that's nothing but facts," Pidge laughed.
"Hey don't be mean to Hunk," Lance moved Shiro's hand away from his face and held up a hand. "I get special treatment because we're best friends and he's a literal teddy bear,"
"That is also true," Shiro smiled at them.
"But besides that, I really am tired-"
"Guess we're having a sleepover!" Pidge shouted before Lance finished.
"Our first Paladin sleepover!" Hunk said with just as much enthusiasm.
Shiro shook his head with a smile plastered on his face. "Keith come help me get pillows and blankets and stuff,"
"Uh yeah sure…" He moved over to them glancing at the now hugging trio before he left. "Any reason you asked me specifically to come with you?" He asked once they were alone
"Would you have preferred me ask someone else?" Shiro glanced at him.
"What, NO?!" Keith shouted a bit in fright. "You just seem a bit serious,"
Shiro sighed. "I'm worried about Lance,"
"Aren't we all," Keith agreed. "He's becoming unstable, having more episodes, and he's hurting himself…" Keith curled in on himself as they made their way in front of a small storage unit and Shiro began placing blankets into his hand while he held onto the pillows. Grabbing a small first aid kit and placing it on top of everything they began to walk back to Lance's room. "I've never taken medication for anything besides physical things," Keith admitted. "I have a pretty good memory yet Lance managed so well for what he's going through. I wonder what he's feeling,"
"Scared," Shiro sighed. "I think he's scared, lonely, and homesick,"
"I wish we could do something…" Keith sighed. "I want him to get his memories,"
"So are you two…" Shiro's voice wandered.
"Shiro I swear if you finish that thought I will cut you," Keith clutched the blankets which made Shiro smile a bit.
"Can't blame me for being curious," Shiro laughed. They walked into the room to see all three of them standing up singing a song that neither Keith nor Shiro knew at the top of their lungs. "What are you guys doing?"
"You were taking too long and Lance started singing and we got a bit carried away," Hunk laughed.
"I mean it was pretty fun," Pidge agreed.
Shiro smiled at them. "Time out from your sing off so you three can set up the floor to sleep on," He motioned at Keith, Hunk, and Pidge who all groaned. "Lance, sit on the bed real fast," They gave him a curious look. Lance nodded and sat on the bed as Shiro moved all the blankets and pillows towards the other three. He picked up the first aid kit and moved to sit next to Lance as well. "You took off the bandages on your head so it's swollen a bit. Were you touching it?" Lance looked away but Shiro placed a hand on his chin and made him face towards him so he could get to the wound. Spraying it with something that stung. "I'll take that as a yes," He placed a bandage pad over it rather roughly making Lance flinch. Shiro pressed against the ends so that it stuck. "Don't take this off until I tell you alright? The pod still might not work for you anyway," He was examining his cut with a small scowl.
"Are you mad at me?" Lance asked which caused Shiro to sigh as he dropped his hand. The other three momentarily stopped and looked at them.
"I'm not mad at you specifically," He answered. "I'm mad about what you did and that we can't do anything but I'm not mad at you,"
"A very dad answer," Lance smirked. Shiro grabbed his hand and pulled it forward roughly making Lance hiss. "And a very dad-like attitude," He giggled.
"What exactly did you punch?" Shiro questioned as he sprayed his split knuckles and began wiping off the dried blood.
"The mirror," Keith answered for him as he looked into the bathroom. "He punched the mirror,"
"I'll clean it," Lance added quickly getting up but getting pulled down by Shiro who was still gripping his hand.
"I'm not worried about it getting cleaned right now," He moved back into the first aid kit which allowed Lance the opportunity to blow on the stinging wounds.
"I'll clean it," Keith announced as he dropped the blankets and moved towards the bathroom. He began picking up the big pieces of glass first. Shiro got a roll of bandages and, grabbing Lance's hand back, began to carefully move across the wounds. Hunk and Pidge were done so they were now laying down on the floor.
"Ouch," They all looked over at Keith who was now sucking his finger and looking at it with distaste.
"Be careful," Hunk warned. "Don't just pick it up with your bare hands,"
"Well, how else am I supposed to get the small pieces of glass?"
"Now see, if your gloves had fingers this wouldn't be a problem," Lance laughed. "Keith in the closet pick a shirt," Pidge looked at him suspiciously.
"Now's not the time for clothing insults," Keith argued.
Lance laughed a bit but rolled his eyes. "Just grab one and soak it in water," Keith sighed as he walked over to the closet and picked a random shirt. Moving back towards the sink he soaked it in water. "Now squeeze most of it out,"
Keith sighed but did as he was told. "How is this going to help?"
"Place it over the small glass so the water makes it easier to pick up," Keith looked at him a bit bewildered. "It's actually supposed to be with a napkin or something but we'll make due with a shirt,"
Keith began picking it up carefully and found himself smiling. "Wow," Pidge laughed. "Who would have thought Lance was such a housewife,"
"…My mom used to always pick up the glass like that if we couldn't find one of those dust picker-upper things,"
"A dustpan?" Shiro laughed as he finished up his knuckles.
"Yeah those," Lance tried closing his fist but Shiro hit him on the head.
"Don't move it. Let it heal," A small moment of silence passed where no one said anything and Lance just stared at his fist. "What kind of music do you listen to Shiro?" He quickly held out his hands. "Wait let me guess… You look like you listen to…. Cage the Elephant!" He clasped his hands and Shiro laughed a bit.
"I mean you're not completely wrong. I did listen to them before everything," Shiro said.
"What's your favorite song by them?"
"Telescope," Shiro answered quickly
"Very appropriate," Lance looked over at Pidge and Hunk. "Boom are you ready to destroy one of his favorite songs!"
"Hell yeah!" Pidge shot up.
"In a far and distant galaxy
Inside my telescope I see
A pair of eyes peer back at me
He walks and talks and looks like me," Lance began and the other two joined in after that.
"Sits around inside his house
From room to room he moves about
Fills his life with pointless things
And wonders how it all turns out," The three sang along finding Keith smiling and Shiro groaning into his hands. Pidge, Hunk, and Lance had their hands around each other's shoulder.
"Safe to say that," Then Shiro hopped up and joined them. "I don't think you understand! There's nowhere left to turn. Walls keep breaking. Time is like a leaf in the wind. Either it's time well spent or time I've wasted. Don't waste it,"
"Come on Keith!" Lance smiled. "You're the only one not singing,"
"No thanks I'm fine here," He smiles from the bed.
"Boo!" They all say in unison.
"What the- Shiro why are you booing?"
"Because Boooo buzz kill," Shiro laughed at him.
"You're like six," Keith argued.
"That means you're the only boring adult!" Pidge chipped in. They continued to sing and Keith finally gave in and got up from the bed singing as well. "Here in my mind, losing my friends. Fall on my face, do it again. You say how, do, you do? Man, how 'bout you? Man, how 'bout you? To be free, to be sold. To be killed, to be saved. In my head, I'm alone. I'm not dead, I'm ashamed. Just like you, I've been trying to escape," Both Keith and Lance being the only ones who didn't mess up. Then all of them screamed at once. "I don't think you understand!"
The song passed with interruptions of laughter and just horribly off-key until Lance finally flopped down on his bed. Shiro clapped his hands once with a huge smile on his face. "Okay let's go to sleep,"
"I'm emotionally drained," Pidge sighed as she sat down on the ground. "You guys are stressful,"
"Tell me about it," Shiro sighed sitting next to her.
"I'm always emotionally drained," Keith flopped to the ground and rolled directly next to Lance's bed.
"Hey, that was my spot!" Hunk shouted which made Lance laugh a bit.
"Hell no," Keith argued. "I can't sleep with just one pillow,"
"Well everyone only has one pillow anyways," Shiro sighed as he laid down.
"Yeah except Lance," Keith snapped. "This way I can steal Lance's pillows once he's asleep,"
"Hey! Don't conspire against me!" Lance threw a pillow directly at Keith's face which made him groan a bit.
"See. I already got an extra one!" He hugged the pillow and Lance groaned. Keith was already getting comfortable. Taking off his jacket and hugging his newfound pillow.
Hunk sighed. "Fine, keep the spot," He turned off the light and laid down right next to Keith.
Lance chuckled a bit. "You want an extra pillow too big guy?"
Hunk smiled too. "It's fine,"
"Well don't just offer him one, I would kill for an extra pillow," Pidge held out her hands and caught the pillow that was tossed to her.
"Alright enough pillow exchange!" Shiro stretched a bit before getting comfortable as well. "Just go to sleep,"
"No problem," Pidge yawned. "I haven't slept in like 2 days,"
"That can't possibly be healthy," Hunk said in shock. "Pidge take care of yourself,"
"Enough lectures for one day!" Keith sighed. "I just want to sleep,"
"I kinda feel bad that I'm the only one on the bed," Lance admitted.
"Don't be," Shiro assured.
"Yeah after everything you've been through today you deserve the bed," Keith added.
"But I made you guys go through that," Lance sighed. "If you want you can go to your room you can,"
"Lance, shut up," Pidge sighed.
"What she's trying to say," Hunk glared over at her. "Is that we're not leaving. We don't mind being here with you," Lance smiled a bit and began whispering out the lyrics of a song.
"I-I-I want you. Yeah, I want you, and nothing comes close to the way that I need you. I wish I can feel your skin and I want you from somewhere within," Lance was singing another dismal song. He didn't know why he started but he sang it so softly that it made the others feel like they were invading his privacy.
'Since when had he liked singing so much?' Keith thought but swallowed his question a bit of sadness.
"It feels like there's oceans between me and you once again. We hide our emotions under the surface and tryin' to pretend but it feels like there's oceans between you and me~" Lance sighed and curled up on the bed a bit. He shaking let out a sigh. "I miss my family," He said out loud without realizing. They all fell silent. A few moments passed where no one spoke and everyone had their eyes shut. Another few minutes moved by. "No one even sang back," Lance whispered.
Keith started up at where he believed he was. If Keith wasn't mistaken the others were asleep or at least too tired to be listening to what Lance had just said. Maybe it was because he was right next to the bed that he heard it but it made him feel like he needed to do something. It was the second time he had said something along those lines as well, Keith thought. Maybe he should just sing back, he knew that song, but he felt like it was too late. He had spent too much time putting him in silence to just start singing now. Keith didn't know if it was pure instinct or because this moment reminded him of the time he had found out about Lance's pills but he reached up and gripped onto Lance's hand. He seemed to flinch back a bit, a small gasp being let out and for a moment Keith thought he was going to pull away. He had done it the first time when he had barged into his room and saw him shoveling a few pills in his mouth. He hated that memory. It was a mistake; it was never supposed to happen. This one, however, was new, it was calming. Lance let go of his hand just as he feared and for a moment he was just lying there in embarrassment and disappointment before he heard the shuffling on the bed. Lance was getting comfortable and before Keith could drop his hand back to his side Lance reached out and gripped it again. Unlike Keith who had simply gripped his hand softly Lance intertwined their fingers for a better hold.
Neither one of them said anything out of fear the others would wake up but Keith felt the way Lance moved to the edge of the bed so Keith could relax his hand a bit. Lance pulled his hand towards his chest and Keith felt Lance's breath hit his fingers so he gripped his hand a bit tighter readjusting so he could be comfortable as well. It wasn't long before he found himself drifting off. 'Weird,' He thought. 'It usually takes longer for me to sleep,'
Lance never fell asleep. Instead, he was waiting for the others to sleep first. He didn't like the idea of waiting for them to sleep, it sounded too creepy but he knew if he tried to leave with even one of them awake they would all be awake before he could even make excuses. Keith was the last to sleep. Lance felt the way his grip loosened slowly. Sometimes he seemed to realize this and try to get a stronger hold but soon enough it on loosened. Lance let go of his hand and set it on the other's chest. He waited a moment making sure Keith was fully asleep before sitting up on his bed. He gave everyone a quick glance before slowly making his way to the edge of the bed and grabbing his helmet which he had left on the floor. Sneaking out as quickly as his door allowed and shutting it behind him so no light invaded the inside of his room.
He heard voices. "That's amazing Coran!" Allura, he didn't think she would still be here. "Have you gotten the taste?"
"Not yet, princess," Coran answered. "I've almost got it,"
Lance wondered what they were talking about but didn't dwell on it too much as he moved slowly away from them. When he was finally far enough to not hear their voice he began sprinting away and finally made it in front of blue. "Hey girl, can you open up for me?" Blue quickly lowered her head and opened her mouth to allow Lance in. As he reached her controls he heard her purr into his head. "Well no I didn't technically lie to them-" Lance sighed when Blue made a whining noise that reminded him of his mother's scolding voice. "Okay fine, I might have agreed with them when they asked if I had still not regained my memories," A disappointed whine that causes Lance to shrink down is what followed. "Okay, I know I'm not in the position to ask this but you know the way to Earth right?" A moment passed. "Well, you would obviously know you spent like, what, 10,000 years there? What I'm getting at is, could you please take me there," It came out in a rush that caused Blue to protest almost immediately. "I know you can't take me directly there but just enough where I can see the place," Lance smiled.
The blue lion seemed to hesitate a bit before. 'Just there and back?' It asked.
"Yes, I promise," Lance eagerly agreed and smiled triumphantly when Blue gave him a few instructions to follow. "Thank you, Blue! You're the best!" He moved her out of the castle. He moved his helmet beside himself not letting it distract himself. He wanted to make sure Earth was okay. He just wanted reassurance but he knew he was lying to himself. He was just being selfish. As he drove Blue he began humming to pass the time. He didn't want to start singing. Singing always brought about good memories with bad realizations.
"Young paladins!" Allura slammed into the room with a giant smile on her face. All of them sitting up in fright. "We have made a discovery! Well, Coran has but-" She flicked the lights on and her smile fell almost immediately. "Where's Lance?"
The others hadn't noticed the now empty bed but when they did they almost immediately stood up. "What?" Hunk was looking around the room as if Lance would suddenly just appear.
Keith was looking down at his hand. Had that really happened? "He-he was just here," Keith answered and crumbled his fist. "I couldn't have been asleep for more than five minutes!"
"Keith enough," Shiro tried to calm him down. "All of us split up and we'll go find him,"
"Maybe he got lost," Hunk hoped.
"Wait," Pidge stopped them as she stared from the bed to the floor. "His helmet's gone…"
"What do you mean Pidge?" Allura asked and Pidge seemed to be losing her patience.
"His helmet! It was right there!" She pointed at the ground in front of her bed. "I specifically remember kicking it over there because it was in the middle of the floor and I couldn't lay the blanket down,"
"Well, that means…" Hunk gave the others a scared look and they all ran off.
"Coran!" Allura yelled.
"Well hello, princess have you gotten Lance?"
"It seems he's left," Allura said a bit frantically.
"Oh quiznak!" Coran began walking forward with them. "Where is he?"
"Most likely with the blue lion," Keith answered
"I need to find out exactly the location," Allura answered.
"I shall assist you," Coran nodded moving in front of the controls of the castle.
"Paladins get to your lions. I'll send you the coordinates once we find him," They quickly got into each of their own lions. None of them wanting to waste time putting on their Paladin armor, instead just grabbing their helmets in order to be able to talk to each other.
They all flew out. "Princess any news?" Keith tapped his finger on the red lions controls impatiently causing the red lion to begin purring into his mind assurances to try and ease his mind.
"I've sent them to all your lions make sure to-" Keith was the first one to shoot forward. He didn't know if he was more sad, worried, or angry. Maybe a combination of the three emotions.
"Keith calm down!" Hunk yelled at him. He was calm as he could get which was him desperately tapping his leg as if that would cause red to go any faster.
"He's heading towards… Earth," Coran whispered but it was loud enough for all of them to hear.
All of them gasped out a bit but it only caused them to speed up their lions. Soon enough they saw the silhouette of the blue lion. It was a small figure that soon enough turned into a more noticeable blue lion. Red not only had a head start but she was the fastest out of all the lions so it wasn't all that surprising when the red lion was the first to make it.
"Keith? What are you doing here?" Lance sounded shocked and he was. He really didn't want this to go noticed by them. They would think he was running away from something, and he wasn't. At least that's what he believed.
"Me? What about you!" He didn't mean to sound so angry yet he heard the way Lance groaned a bit. "Why did you just leave!?"
"I was gonna come back!" Lance argued.
"But you just left!" Pidge screamed. "What if something happened to you!"
"Nothings gonna happen," Lance tried to calm her down.
"But you don't know that for sure," Hunk cut it. "You don't know if the Galra have trackers here or what if a scout saw you? Then what would you have done?" Hunk scolded.
"I would've called you guys," Lance said warily. Testing his words carefully.
"And if we hadn't made it one time?" Keith quested harshly.
"Enough!" Shiro yelled. "Fighting is not gonna get us anywhere,"
"But it sure as Hell feels appropriate," Pidge mumbled.
"Young paladins," Allura broke them up. "Enough arguing,"
"Of course Allura would agree with Shiro…" Keith mumbled
"What was that?" She warned clearly hearing what Keith had said.
"Nothing," He stretched out his words. "Our only job is to get Lance back to the castle, right?" His voice got more sharp, much louder. "That's all you care about right?! Not the fact that Lance feels so detached from all of us that he felt the need to run away!"
"I didn't run away!" Lance argued. "I was gonna come back. I wasn't even gonna land on Earth! I just needed some closure!"
"We all do!" Pidge screamed. "But not all of us run off without at least telling someone," Was she crying? Lance's eyes teared up at that thought.
"Pidge..."
"You honestly think we don't miss Earth too?" Hunk whispered.
"No, I know you do…" Lance was desperate to explain himself yet he couldn't and he found Blue whispering things to himself. "Blue… I'm sorry,"
"Blue?" Shiro finally spoke up. "Why are you calling her that?"
"I always call her that," Lance tried to keep the sniffle from escaping.
"But how do you know that?" Shiro questioned and Lance's breath hitched.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Keith squeezed red's controls harder. "You remembered everything this entire time!"
"Are you serious?" Hunk said.
"I fucking knew it!" Pidge shot up.
"Language!" Shiro scolded but he went practically ignored.
"You knew exactly where everything was in your room and seemed much more comfortable around me!" Pidge pointed out.
"Why did you lie?" Hunk whispered.
"I'm… sorry," Lance whispered. "It's just- It's scary,"
"Scary?" Keith scoffed.
"Yes, Keith. It's terrifying!" Lance screamed. "I woke up with no memory of who anyone was except two people! I didn't even know where I was! Then you're just forcing me to stay here, in a place I didn't know with everyone seemingly checking up on me about a wound I don't even remember getting!" Lance finally sniffled, loud enough for all of them to hear. He began crying a bit but continued to whisper his explanation. "While I was in the garrison my mom got pregnant. I have a younger sibling whose name I don't even know and who I didn't even remember this whole time. I didn't want you guys to turn out as just a memory that I could easily be forgotten. I didn't want to forget anyone! I was scared!"
"I was scared too!" Hunk yelled back almost immediately. "I was scared of getting tracked by Galra. I was scared when the blue lion brought us to a random castle I had no idea of. I was scared when I woke up and my best friend who I thought had amnesia wasn't even here." Why was Hunk crying? He had no reason to cry over Lance, that only caused him to cry even more. "I'm still scared…"
"We all are," Keith whispered as well. "None of us know what's going to happen,"
"But despite that, we're in this together!" Pidge smiled. Lance sat there a bit in shock until he finally began to fully cry.
"You must get back to the castle," Coran warned in a seemingly whisper. "Galra fleets are nearby,"
"Yeah," Shiro whispered as well. "Let's go," The black lion went forward slowly, leading them. It took a moment but the blue lion followed next and the other on its tail.
"Lance..?" Hunk asked. He got no response. None of them did. All they heard was small humming coming from the lion. Once they made it to the castle they all got out. Slowly watching their steps as if something was about to trip them. They were all standing there except they were missing a paladin.
"Lance?" Allura called. She only got a hum in response. She sighed and looked over at Shiro who took off his helmet, the others followed his example.
"Um. Lance my boy," Coran stepped forward. "I do believe that we should all speak to each other at once. We can do one of your Earth customs or just talk all together," No response.
"Let's stay here," Shiro sat down crossing his legs in front of him. "Or do you five think we should leave him be for now?"
They all sat down as a sign of staying. "What should we do?" Pidge wondered
"Stay here," Keith closed his eyes. "That's all we can do,"
"How did you first feel when you found out Altea was gone?" Hunk wondered but quickly blushed at his own question. "Oh, I'm sorry I shouldn't ask something so-"
Allura giggled a bit. "It's fine Hunk," He placed a hand on her chin. "It was devastating. I was- I still am heartbroken over it,"
"But we must take into consideration that we are not Lance," Coran started. "We don't have a planet to return too, even if we wanted to leave. We are more closely feeling loss while Lance is feeling lounging,"
"That just makes things more difficult," Keith groaned.
A voice muffled its way into the helmets that made them clearly hear Lance on the other sides.
Lance was singing. Why had he begun, he didn't know. No one was going to sing back, yet, here he was wasting his voice. Why couldn't he find it in himself to stop and get out of Blue? He felt safe here, he would feel safe out there too but he also knew that he would start crying and feel guilty even more than he did at this moment. "I want you and I always will. I wish I was worth- but I know what you deserve~," He gripped the controls a bit tighter. "You know I'd rather drown than to go on without you, but you're pulling me down,"
"Keith, what are you doing?" Shiro watched as he moved his helmet back over his head.
"No one should have to sing alone," Keith answered as he took in a shaking breath. Lance was about to start his singing again and he just barely beat him to it. "It feels like there's oceans between you and me once again,"
"Keith what are you-" Lance didn't get to finish.
"Shut up," He answered as he moved next to Blue's paw. "We hide our emotions under the surface and try to pretend but it feels like there's oceans between you and me," He stopped himself. All of them stopped what they were currently doing, which was just staring at Keith. They looked over at the know opening mouth of Blue. Lance was walking out. Slowly almost unnerving and Keith was the closest to him. Lance had no helmet on him; presumably leaving it inside. Eyes being covered by his arm. "Lance?"
"Why'd you have to start singing," Lance finally looked over at Keith who was tentatively holding out his hands. "You sound just like my brother,"
And all of them ran forward. Keith was the first to make it to him. As soon as Keith wrapped his hands around him Lance did the same. He collapsed, letting all his weight fall forward and Keith followed after him. Both on their knees gripping onto each other. The others got there, wrapping themselves around each other no matter how crowded they felt. Lance didn't even care if he looked like a baby he just began crying. He screamed and sobbed into their shoulders until he finally sniffled down to a whimper. "I'm sorry you guys,"
"You have nothing to apologize for," Allura answered.
"Yeah," Hunk agreed. "Your feelings are no less than ours,"
"Doesn't make it right…" Lance whispered. "I hurt all of you guys,"
"Yeah you did, jerk," Pidge said with a smirk. Shiro sighed at her.
"She's just saying that we all understand this," Coran said as he moved back. "Even if we don't all experience it the same,"
"Thanks for sticking by me," Lance chuckled as he pulled away and wiped his eyes. "I'm just a baby sometimes,"
"No, you're not!" Pidge smiled. "You're a big baby most of the time, but we still love you,"
"Yeah, we do!" Hunk shouted. "Don't agree with the baby part though,"
"Me neither," Keith nodded with a small smirk. "You're our sharpshooter after all,"
"You guys suck at being sincere," Shiro commented which made Lance chuckle.
"Indeed," Allura sighed. "You still seem shaken Lance. Is there anything we can do?"
"No Allura it's fine, I wouldn't want to trouble you," Lance smiled at her.
"Do you need them…the pills?" Keith asked a bit awkwardly.
Lance smiled at him. "I don't think I can afford to lose anymore,"
"Nonsense!" Coran brought out a bag. "I examined what the 'pills', as you call them, are made of, what they do, how they work and I have made an almost identical replacement!" They all stared at him in shock except Allura who smiled widely. Coran held out the bag. Lance took it and opened it. As soon as he saw them he let out a small gasp and picked one of the small blue bumpy things Coran had given him. The others circling around him. "Of course I had to use what we had here in the castle and I have gotten rid of some of the inconvenient things it caused as well,"
"Wait you got rid of the side effects?" Shiro sounded amazed and Lance only smiled widely.
"Not all of them but-"
"They're gummies," Lance chuckled as he squished it between his fingers. "Why would you…?"
"Well I tried one and not only did it taste revolting but it practically made my teeth crack," He exasperated.
"Because they're not meant for chewing," Hunk laughed.
"Well, the princess and I agreed that you would enjoy these more,"
"Yes," Allura nodded softly. "They taste like a berry that used to grow on Altea. They were my personal favorite as a child,"
Lance popped one in his mouth. He slowly began chewing. Then a small chuckle broke out before he moved his hand to his mouth to stop the serge of laughter that had begun.
"Wow, Lance. You're crying…" Keith reached out a bit of concern.
Lance calmed his laughter and moved his hand away from his mouth. "They taste like strawberries!"
"Do they?" Shiro smiled at him.
"But they're blue. Why would they taste like strawberries?" Pidge picked one up and popped it into her mouth.
"Hey!" Shiro yelled. "Spit it out Pidge! We don't know what these do if you don't need them!"
Pidge gave a small scowl before spitting the already chewed gummy on her palm. "Fine Dad,"
Lance chuckled and popped another one in his mouth. "They taste exactly like strawberries! And not those artificially flavored ones either!"
"He's not lying," Pidge nodded.
"Yeah Lance must be nice," Hunk smiled at his enthusiasm.
"How would that be nice?" Keith wondered. "Like don't get me wrong strawberries are my second favorite fruit but why is that so…good?"
Lance smiled at him. "I'm allergic to strawberries,"
"What?!" Keith almost immediately tried to snatch the bag away but Lance held it away.
"Hey! I've only ever had a strawberry once and my face got all puffy and I couldn't breathe in a matter of minutes but I still remember how good they taste. Besides these aren't even strawberries so nothing will happen," He smiled and was about to reach for another one when Shiro grabbed the bag.
"Hey, those are mine!" Lance jumped up.
"You already had two," Shiro pinched his nose roughly which caused him to retract. "Wouldn't want you to get sick,"
Lance pouted. "I can have more than two.."
"Doesn't make it healthy," Shiro pointed out.
"True," Coran stood up as well. "These have just the same amount of dosage that your other pills had, some of the side effects might be gone but overconsumption might lead to something undesirable,"
"No fair," He pouted. Hunk walked next to him and wrapped a hand around his shoulder with a chuckle.
"Come on Lance, want to go eat?" Hunk smiled.
"Actually buddy if I eat right now I feel like I'll vomit," He chuckled awkwardly. "Sorry, big guy, tomorrow, okay?"
Hunk gave a curious look but ultimately nodded sadly. "Alright then let's go back to your room, everything there is already set up anyways,"
They all kind of expected him to try and make any excuse up to weasel out of this so it was surprising to hear him say, "Sounds like a plan!"
They were all walking to Lance's room. It was clear he was trying to avoid the topic at hand. Keith tried to bring it up but Shiro would always glare at him. When they did make it, Lance outstretched his hands and slid into his bed. "You comfortable?" Keith laughed as he took his spot back beside his bed.
"Definitely," The lights were turned off by Coran who found another spot on the other end of the room to sleep in as dis Allura.
Keith was getting comfortable placing his hands on his chest a bit uncomfortable at how much of his space was being personally invaded. The others didn't seem to care but as soon as lights went out Lance reached down and grabbed onto his hand. Keith let out a small gasp and looked over at Lance. As his eyes adjusted he noticed the way Lance was smiling at him. He squeezed his hand and Keith settled back in with a smile as he squeezed his hand back.
"I feel like crap," Pidge suddenly admitted which cause them to giggle.
"Can we not have these talks when trying to sleep?" Shiro sighed.
"I'm sorry I feel like crap," Pidge said. "I just need more space,"
"Dude get your feet off of me," Hunk laughed. "Those helmets made my head hurt though,"
"Agreed," Keith sighed.
"...Helmet?" Lance suddenly shot up. "I left mine in blue!" He let go of Keith's hand which earned him a small whimper.
"Lance where are you going?" Hunk asked as he sat up. They all did the same.
"Don't worry buddy," Lance said as he slid on his jacket. "I'm just gonna go get my helmet so I don't forget where I put it. I'll be back in less than a minute," He smiled at them as he opened the door to his room.
"Are you sure?" Keith wondered. "You could always just do it in the morning,"
"I don't know what'll happen in the morning," Lance sighed. "I'll be right back I promise," He ran out before any of them could make a protest. He made it in front of blue and let out a huge goofy smile. "Hey blue!" He didn't need to ask her before she put down her barrier and let him enter. "You're awfully silent," Lance commented as he picked up his helmet from the cockpit. "I just came here for my helmet so don't worry about me," He turned on his heel about to run off but stopped when he noticed he couldn't. "Uh blue? Mind opening up for me? In the physical sense, of course, not that you can't emotionally open up to me as well. But yeah... Can you?" He felt Blue quickly get up which caused him to stumble to the ground. "Uh, Blue what are you-?" He felt her jump out of the castle which made him scrabble forward. "Blue! Stop! I said I would go back! Where are you even going!?" He looked out at the stars as he desperately began tampering with her controls in any way he could. "Come on Blue! Don't betray me like the castle did," He was breathing heavily but he turned around quickly and reached over for his helmet which he quickly slid on. Uh, guys!" They were arguing over something. He hoped it wasn't because of him. "You guys, stop arguing!" They heard him because the next thing he heard was Allura.
"Lance? What's wrong?"
"Well, I think Blue's gone rouge so you know…" He was still breathing heavily. "I'm kinda freaking out,"
"Wait. What?" She questioned. "What happened,"
"Blue is currently flying out in space right now with me still in her cockpit,"
"What?" He heard the others scrambling.
"Well try bringing her back!" Keith shouted.
"Well jeez Keith, why didn't I think of that," Lance remarked sarcastically. "She's not responding to me,"
"Did she say anything to tell you why she did this?" Shiro asked sounding a bit rushed for breath.
"No,"
"Well did you say anything that would cause her to set off?" Pidge remarked suspiciously.
"If you're asking me if I asked her to leave no Pidge I didn't," He knew he shouldn't be getting mad at her for being suspicious but he couldn't help it. "Can someone please just help I can't-"
"Lance?" Hunk asked at the sudden silence. "What's wrong?"
"No way…" Lance took a moment to look out the window. "She landed,"
"Well, where are you," Coran asked.
"It's raining," Lance whispered but quickly began jumping up and down. "It's freaking raining!" He turned around to find that blue was allowing him out. He rushed out to the planet and almost stumbled on the slippery floor.
"Raining?!" Pidge question.
"Lance!" Coran yelled. "Where are you?!"
"I don't know," Lance laughed. He was crying again, he didn't really want to but he felt so happy. "It's not Earth I can tell you that but... " He laughed again. "This is amazing!"
"That's it I'm coming to get you!" Keith huffed.
"Keith, I recommend you bring something because you look like one of those weirdos who hates the rain," He said spinning around to let the water fall on his face. Blue whispered to him. "Blue said she sent the location to your lion,"
"Great," Keith huffed out.
Lance asked Blue if it was okay to take off his helmet here and she gave a purr as a yes. Lance quickly smiled and threw his helmet aside. The others were talking to him but he had no time to listen. Instead, he ran around spinning and singing any random lyric that came to mind. Dancing in the rain and letting himself this newly found planet. The red lion made it shortly after. Parking directly next to the blue lion Keith ran out. "Lance!"
Lance ran over to him and Keith looked about ready to greet him but Lance grabbed both of his hands and began spinning him around before finally flinging him away. He stumbled to catch his footing and glared up at Lance; that glare was short lived. It softens when he saw Lance smiling at him brightly. "Come on, mullet!" Lance pulled Keith's helmet off and threw it aside gripping onto his cheeks. "Let loose for once!"
He grabbed his wrist once more and began to randomly move around causing Keith to stare at his feet in hopes to catch on. That didn't help as if was combined with the slippery floor Lance tripped and dragged Keith with him. Unlike Keith, who was currently slightly disgusted at the rain as it hit his face and the mud-like substance that attached itself to his hair, Lance was covering his forehead with his hand and laughing with so much enjoyment that it cause Keith to smile as well.
"You told them you hung out in my room at night," Lance said.
Keith laughed nervously. "You remember that?"
"Yes, and you told them about my pills!"
"Well technically I didn't tell them anything," Keith laughed nervously again. Guilt welling up inside of him. "Well, at least you got those blue gummy thing out of them," A small silence filled the air.
"I miss the rain…" Lance smiled up at the sky.
"I can tell," Keith laughed.
"You said before that you didn't have anything to go back to on Earth," Lance sighed.
"I don't,"
"But you're the only one who didn't tell me their reason for staying," Lance looked over at him a small smile still plastered on his face.
"Does it matter now?" Keith looked up at the sky and closed his eyes when he found the water irritating. "You have your memories back after all. It's not like you'll get anything from my answer,"
"You really are as dumb as I thought," Lance chuckled and Keith just glared at him. "... I want you to stay here," Lance confessed. Keith's eyes grew wide and he faced Lance who was still facing the sky. "If anything, your reason for staying would give me ease," Lance closed his eyes and let out a small chuckle. "It probably doesn't matter, does it?" He sat up and before he could get up Keith reached out and grabbed his hand.
"It matters," Keith smiled at him. "Don't think like that. In all honesty, I don't know why I stayed," Lance cocked an eyebrow. "I know I sound dumb, just, obviously something kept me here but I don't know if it was something I could identify just yet,"
"You always sound dumb," Lance smirked as Keith groaned in annoyance. "But not this time. I still feel a bit of doubt in my mind too,"
Keith let out a sigh. "But if you really want me to stay I will," He held out his hand with his pinky sticking out.
"No- Keith you don't have too-"
"Of course this isn't one-sided," Keith smiled. "You have to be my right-hand man, after all, deal?"
Lance smiled as well. "Deal," He wrapped his pinky around his and it lingered a bit longer than necessary before he finally got up.
"You look horrible in dark clothes," Keith laughed. Lance let out a gasp.
"Excuse you mister fingerless gloves and crop top jacket but I look good in everything,"
"Arguably,"
"What do you know?" Lance huffed.
"Your hair is sticking to your forehead," And without a second thought, Keith pushed his hair out of his face. Incredibly close before both of them jumped back. "All I'm saying is that you would look better in lighter colors," Keith coughed out as he began walking back to the lions.
"Oh yeah, mister fashionista, like what?" Lance tested with a laugh jogging next to him.
"Baby blue," Keith confidently said. A snort from Lance made him quickly explain himself. "Look all I'm saying is you have dark everything. Darker hair, darker skin, and a dark shade of blue eyes," He crossed his arms and turned a bit red. "Plus I'm assuming blue is your favorite color and I don't know, the rain makes the clothes your wearing darker and it just seems too gloomy for your personality,"
Lance erupted into another fit of laughter. "Keith Kogane, the living embodiment of the color black, is saying baby blue is me?"
"Hey! Correction, I'm more of a maroon,"
"More like a moron," Lance laughed.
"Shut up!" Keith shoved him, "You're the living embodiment of baby blue so…" He stopped himself when he realized he had no idea where he was going with this.
Lance only chuckled as they finally made it in front of their lions and picked up their helmets. "I am the living embodiment of baby blue," Lance said again which a small laugh. "I'll take that as a compliment," he said as he hopped back into Blue.
"Do whatever you want," Keith grumbled as he made himself inside red as well. "Alright, guys I got Lance,"
"Oh, so he speaks!" Pidge yelled back. "And here I thought we had lost both of you,"
"Yeah we were about to hold a memorial and everything," Hunk mocked with a laugh. "In memory of Keith and Lance who got a strange disease from alien rain,"
"Shut up," Lance giggled as they flew back. When they did make it both of them were greeted a bit quickly and, on the orders of Shiro, were pushed into the pods as to not catch a cold and to get rid of the bandages on Lance.
"So what were you guys talking about back there?" Hunk asked as they got settled back in Lance's room.
Lance let out a hum. "I'll tell you later big guy but after this exhausting day I feel like we all just really need sleep,"
"Agreed," Everyone signed out in unison. Turning off the light and all settling in Lance's room. He remembered that right before going to sleep he dangled his arm off the side as an invitation that Keith took. He sighed out happily.
What a strange memory. A memory of him losing memories. He still hated the idea of it. What had brought him back to that memory? Oh yes, the promise. Keith promised he would stay so had he forgotten. Perhaps he had driven him away. Or perhaps he just wasn't worth that promise. Maybe his unknown reason for staying had faltered a bit and he found himself at the other end of the lounge room dressed as a Blade of Marmora but he was still part of Voltron. Lance craved for him to remember that but no such thing happened except he announced his departure. Why? Lance couldn't understand that. He promised he would stay. It had happened so long ago and Lance was convinced he had forgotten which was actually the least painful outcome. One that he was not going to remind Keith off.
They all hugged him in a huge group hug started by Shiro and initiated by Hunk. He was willing to let this go. Not that he wasn't incredibly sad but a lost memory was something he could understand. He understood and he hoped the reason for leaving was simply because of that and not something more heartbreaking.
Before he left Keith hugged all of them individually. Lance was last and he hugged him tightly. "Bye bye, baby blue," It shattered. The illusion of Keith leaving because of a lost memory was gone. Keith remembered. He left for a reason and Lance didn't understand what that was. He wanted to know the reason for that broken promise. He wondered what could possibly be more important? Maybe it was just the fact that he wasn't as important as other things that caused him to leave.
He slipped out of the lounge room before anyone noticed. Keith wasn't even completely gone but he didn't want to see the last goodbye. He couldn't even talk to blue. She had left him too. Red was still amazing but he found it too hard to try and talk to her. He locked his door and covered his mouth as he let out muffled cries. The other hand dangling off the edge like it did so much. Crying until his chest hurt and his other hand was twitching and aching to grab those blue strawberry gummies that were clearly laying at his bedside.