02

I was so shocked at that moment; I could barely pull myself together and hide. He saw me of course.

He plunged into the water till it reached his jaw and gave me one of those dark gaze that I saw clearly even if from afar. It was obvious I should leave immediately, or at least before his legendary bow would start firing arrows by its self.

What the hell was he thinking? That I would stay there and stare at him? Never in a thousand life!

I just closed my mouth before a mosquito would go in and left towards home… quickly. "Oh my God what have I done again?" I hissed at myself. It was already hard enough when we were together and now it was going to be impossible. I felt so embarrassed… especially because I had enjoyed seeing him like that. It was most disturbing.

I was sure he wouldn't be home for another long while. Actually, I believed he would either never come home again, or that he would in order to kick me out. I was wrong.

He didn't just come back the same day – he was there before me! I had merely opened the door and put one foot in when I smelled his presence. He called me on the spot and my features froze.

"Diner in twenty minutes." His tone sent chills in my blood. I nodded and flew straight for my room.

"Eat together?" My mind shouted. That had happened only when he was visiting me at school and the night we had passed in the forest. Now it was going to happen again… on a real table and after what had taken place on the top of it all.

Not five minutes had passed when I heard him calling me again. What did he want this time? To embarrass me further?

It turned out he just needed me to cut vegetables – the excuse! I refused to give him any attention while butchering the ingredients he had given me. At one point, I noticed he was looking at me. Totally focused, without any shame. I centered my attention on the vegetables, wishing to die on the spot. "Who knows – maybe a thunder could hit me through the house..." I thought. "It would ease me as much as him."

But no thunder came. I still wonder how I didn't cut my fingers in pieces – my hands were shaking and I had no concentration at all. He finally returned to his own task, leaving me be in peace.

When I turned to take a bowl for my chunks, Daeghun was bending to take something from the oven. Again my pervert mind took control and I stopped, thinking of nothing but what I had seen earlier. I almost smiled maliciously while checking on his back and thighs, feeling my face growing hotter. I just hoped I wasn't blushing – that would imply my end for sure. What was it with me?

The situation was weird, but also very funny. It was absurd and I had to suppress all of my needs to chuckle – I seriously didn't want to end up with an arrow between the eyes.

"What were you doing there?" I almost jumped out of my physical body, dropping the bowl on the floor. He was actually going to talk about it? He couldn't be!

"Euhhh" Was the only dull thing I could produce as sound.

He was still working with the oven. "So?"

"I…euhhh…was just walking around." That didn't sound true although it was.

"Ok, but you were spying on me. Why was that?"

"Euhhh…you aren't serious, are you?" He only looked at me expectantly. "Why I spied? Well, let me guess – maybe because I was benched comfortably and then I saw a naked male in the nearby stream and I li…I wanted…to spy! That's all." Why was I bubbling so much?

"Keep your sexual ideas for someone your age girl." He continued to do whatever he was doing with that oven while I had the number twenty thousand and three shock of the day.

"I didn't know it was you till I saw your face!" I was angry at him. Angry, because he sounded pretty cool – as if he didn't care and just wanted to be sure that I wasn't having any ideas about him. "Never!" ...

"I pictured that already" He added. "Don't feel embarrassed, it's nothing you haven't seen before. So there is no reason to think more about it."

"Euhhh…" I had no idea how to answer him. I was sure to become a real orphan after all, but no – he didn't give damn about earlier, nor did he look uncomfortable. Trust me – I was!

So we ate. In silence. Daeghun looked as wasted as usual and I surprised myself of dreaming to shake and slap him till he would burst out once and for all. Why couldn't he go on? Why was he so complex? Couldn't he just get angry? Could he shout? Or laugh?

"You look dead, man." It slipped before I could do anything against it, making me wish once more for imminent death. Daeghun dropped his utensils and stared at me, his intense grey eyes tearing mine. When he was done chewing, his answer came out coldly.

"I don't want to talk about whatever you think my state is."

"Ok, but you are still living, in case you didn't know…"

"I said I do not wish to speak about it. Now is not the time for that."

"Then when is the time?" Me and my big mouth. He rolled his eyes however – a reaction!

"I'm just tired Phael. You don't need to mess up your life with my past."

"That's the problem, you live in memories. You're not at all aware of what is happening around you. You are alone and you keep yourself egoistically for you only!"

"I'm sorry you see it that way. You have the right to think whatever you want but do not misunderstand me – I know exactly what is happening around me."

"Yeah? Great! Than if you know that much, tell me what I like to do and with whom I spend most of my time." He looked at me as if I was the most annoying thing that had happened to him. After some time, he spoke.

"Very well. Aside from setting traps and scarring people, you like playing chess. You're excited when you win, probably because you enjoy being the best in strategy and calculation. This shows the confidence you have in your abilities. Reminds me of your mother." He posed and then continued calmly. "You spend most of your time with Bevil and Amy, the humans. But this is too easy, so your real answer must be Tarmas."

My mouth fell open again – I was definitely going to eat a mosquito for desert. He went on. "You spend time with him because you're fascinated by magic and are trying to understand how it works and how to control the powers you have. You even steal books from him and give them back after you have copied some pages of your interest – all of it without him noticing. Somehow, humans can be much unorganized." His eyes widened while he was obviously remembering something.

I was still too surprised and probably making a funny face, because he asked me if I needed him to continue. I nodded.

"All right." He sighed. I am not sure, but I think your favorite color is green because you always choose accessories of its shades, although you dress in black. You haven't noticed it yet, but you enjoy daylight very much, even during the hottest summer days. It is surprising since you're part drow, but it doesn't stop you from being comfortable in the shadow of course, where you plot things."

"As for others than you," he continued, "I know a lot as well. I know Wyl Mossfeld and his brother are doing everything they can to seduce you. But you are not aware of it. I know Tarmas is in l… let's say his doing his best for Amy to succeed and become a great sorceress. I know Bevil's mother hasn't heard of her older son for months and she doesn't want to talk about it yet. And of course, I know what people say and think about me."

Well, I was not only convinced he wasn't a fool; I was also scared. How did he know that much? He was never in town!

"I know a lot more than you think" He added as if reading my mind. "I know secrets of pretty much every person that lives in this village – even you. You don't need to tell me anything and please don't. I am glad you are the one abusing males and not the other way around. You should be careful – you could hurt someone. Now, if you're satisfied, I am done. As for the initial subject, if you're not able to read between the lines and sense things, that is your problem. I don't like to talk about it and I am not in the mood right now. Have a good night." He left gracefully the table while I stood glued on my seat.

Ok, I had fooled around with guys – but only travelers. And he was never around when it happened. Plus, I never brought someone home… was he spying? No, he couldn't be.

Before he left definitely to his chambers, some words decided to come out of me. "It would be nice to know that much about you." His shoulders bent a little and I heard him sigh.

"There is nothing there for you. Just do what you are already doing with your life."

"Then why are you taking care of me?"

"I am not!"

"Well…" I was struck, "you are obviously trying… in a way!"

"I am not trying anything girl. I am just a tired old elf and you do not deserve to be an orphan because of that…even though you are."

"Ok…" I must have given him some kind of weird look because he tightened again and frowned while his foot tapped the floor. "So that's what he looks like when he's impatient."

"Listen Phael; don't make things worst on the top of it ok? It is enough for me to have failed saving my fiancée and best friend's life. I don't need to notice every day that I had failed them again by letting their joy, you, down. I can only provide you with material and shelter. Do you understand?" I nodded. "I know you're not asking anything, but I know you're curious – just keep your curiosity away from me. You may get to see things you don't really wish for."

He left towards his room again. I didn't protest, but if that was what he needed to show off some character, I was sure to bug him again for it. "I'am such a nuisance!"

That night I barely slept. I was turning round and round in my bed, knowing that he was in the room right next to mine. Whenever I closed my eyes I saw the silhouette of his naked body and wet hair, his hands and ears. I felt mad and I wanted to forget about it – but I couldn't.

He was right, I did see a lot of "it" before and he wasn't anything new for me. Yet he was. "Hsss! By Mystra!" I slapped my forehead in despair. That couldn't be. I had to find a mate – it was urgent! I remember getting asleep early in the morning.

Another encounter with Daeghun occurred a few days, maybe a week, later. I was still in the "mood" and had to do something about it before I would jump on someone I shouldn't. I had decided to try my luck with Wyl, spending all the evening with him in the tavern, drinking and playing chess. Wyl was clearly eager to spend the night with me, but I realized it was not a very brilliant good idea. Something didn't feel right, so I left him quickly before it was too late to step back, and went home to cool down.

Later that night, Daeghun came home with some furs. He looked at me for a moment before he left them in the chest of the hall. We didn't exchange words at first – as usual – but before he left, he told me to be careful with Wyl. That the boy had the reputation of being very possessive with his girlfriends.

"Are you spying on me?"

"No, I don't need to. You smell of him." And here goes the mosquitoes again.

"I didn't do anything with h… none of your business!" He shrugged and went to his room. What was with him all of a sudden? I promised my self to always take a shower before seeing Daeghun. His nose was dangerous.

Things went that way for a while, without a chance to figure this man out more. And then, one night…

I was finally in my bed after a lot of wine, dancing and other stupid things I did in the tavern with Bevil and Amy. I felt dizzy and my head was spinning, when my door flew suddenly open and Daeghun came in. I hadn't seen him for three days and wasn't expecting him so soon. But anyways – what the hell was he doing in my room – in the middle of the night?

He just came slowly toward my bed and sat on it while I did the same, forcing myself to ignore the vertigo. Daeghun looked miserable. In fact, I had never seen him in such a horrible condition. He looked at some imaginary spot in my room for a while, when he suddenly started to cry. "By Mystra!" What was I to do with that? I panicked, waking up entirely. The man never showed any emotion and now he was crying… silently… in front of me.

I put my hand on his shoulder, as it was the only thing I could think of doing, and I waited for him to say something. After a while, he began whispering. "I am sorry to bother you… it's just that… I don't know what to do I… don't know…" he stopped, searching for the right words and how to say them. "My link with Shayla… it's… gone! Just like that… it can't be."

This was rather difficult to live through. I knew elves could make soul bonds when they decided to get married, but as far as I knew, Shayla and he were only planning to do so when she had died. A soul bond meant much more than relationship responsibility – it meant to be forever with that person. I also thought it couldn't be broken.

"What do you mean it's gone?" I asked, respecting his wish of whispering. Maybe it was easier for him to express himself that way.

"I don't feel her no more. Usually… I can sense the link we had… but it just… died tonight." He was slightly shaking. "Our bond wasn't exactly completed when she… but I thought… I thought it would stay. I thought she would wait for me… but…" He didn't continue.

So something had gone wrong and Daeghun was suffering what was left of his sorry existence. I felt sorry for him, but decided to tell him what I thought. It was a good way of fighting the uninvited tears that were forming in my eyes.

"Look, maybe you don't want to move on Daeghun, but it's been quite a long time now. I think you should let her go – and not just her. Let it go man, there is a reason why you're still here" I felt him tighten for a moment and then finally relax again.

He hid his face in his hands while I waited to see what would come next. We stood like this for a little while, till Daeghun turned to me. He said he was sorry for bothering me and thanked me for my patience and words. After he left my room quietly, I heard the front door close. He was out again.