Disclaimer: The characters of N.C.I.S. Los Angeles are property of CBS
Deeks entered the building and saw that it was an apartment complex. Just as Sam was entering the building Deeks heard a noise coming from above, or below, them so he drew his weapon and did a cursory sweep of the foyer. Sam saw that Deeks had his gun drawn and then drew his. After the dust had settle Sam motioned that he would go up, and he motion for Deeks to go down; Deeks nodded his understanding.
The partners spilt up and started to search for the premise for any signs of their prey. It was a two story building with a basement, so they searched the first floor together and then when they came on a set of stairs Sam went up, and Deeks went down. Sam went from room to room making sure nobody was there; albeit, Deeks had more luck. While Deeks was searching the basement his conversation with the shrink played over in his head.
Flashback-
"So what brings you in this early Mr. Deeks?" The doctor asked.
"Please it's just Deeks, or Marty." Deeks said. "Only Hetty calls me that."
"Okay, Deeks; for the time being you may call me Rachel." Rachel said.
Rachel was five feet two inches, blonde hair, and green eyes, with an athletic body frame.
{Definitely Max's type.} Deeks thought.
Rachel was beautiful in all aspects of the word, but she wasn't setting Deeks radar off. That was reserved for a beautiful brunette back in Los Angeles.
"Why I'm here." Deeks said. "I'm not exactly sure how to answer that question. Does that answer stem from my actions during a mission three month ago, or does it stretch back further than that; say like all my undercover stents with the L.A.P.D.; or does it stretch all the way back to my days living with an abusive father."
"Are you having an identity crisis?" Rachel asked.
"I understand who I am and what I was hire to do." Deeks said.
"But you said it yourself you stared into the abyss, per se, lord knows how many times." She said.
"The abyss?" He asked.
"Yeah, the abyss." She said. "I'm surprised you've never heard of the concept."
"Why would I?" Deeks asked
"Because it's very pertinent to your field." She said.
"Abyss like staring into a marks eyes, and seeing nothing. Just an empty black hole that if I'm not careful will consume me." He said.
"Friedrich Nietzsche went on record saying: Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you." She said.
End Flashback-
Deeks was brought out of his reverie when he heard a noise. He went on high alert, it was also at this time he heard Sam in his ear.
"Deeks are you awake?"
"Sh. I heard something." Deeks whispered.
Deeks continued walking towards the sound, of whatever it was, to investigate. When Deeks turned the corner he saw a small body. Deeks approached the body and saw that it was a boy, but before Deeks could react he was blind-sided. Somebody came up from behind Deeks and tackled him to the ground, sending his gun skittering across the floor.
"Oof!" Deeks exclaimed.
Deeks attacker attempted to mount him, but Deeks kicked them off. Deeks thought that he heard Sam say that he was on his way, but he was more occupied by the fact that he was about to be assaulted by somebody with a lead pipe. Deeks got a good look at the person that was attacking him, it was a woman and she definitely knew how to handle herself. Deeks look all over and found another pipe, which he found; Deeks grabbed it and prepared to defend himself. The fight was pretty one-side, but the woman overshot one of her attacks and Deeks capitalized; disarming her. He pin her against the wall, and then ramming the pipe into her throat. Not enough to harm her, but enough so she was uncomfortable.
"Mommy no!" The boy shouted as he started to approach Deeks
"Relax boy." Deeks growled, sounding more like Max than himself. "If you mother is innocent she won't have any problems complying with my request."
The boy backed off, allowing Deeks to work.
"State your name, and rank." Deeks said.
It was about this time Sam had made it to the scene. Sam was a little taken back by Deeks demeanor. Deeks usually was cool calm and collected, but the scene playing out in front of him now.
{This is a man who hides his demons well.} Sam thought.
"State you name, and rank!" Deeks growled again.
The woman struggled a little more, but complied.
"Isabella Smith, Lance Corporal." Isabella said.
Deeks looked Isabella in her eyes and saw nothing but fear. Probably because Deeks is being more aggressive than he usually is. Deeks remove the pipe from Isabella's throat, and then step away from the wall. Deeks dropped the pipe; hesitating at first, and then he moved towards Sam, while retrieving and holstering his firearm, to give Isabella some breathing room. She stared at Deeks at first hesitant of his motives.
"Sorry." Deeks said. "I was rougher than what was necessary."
Isabella smiled and then turned her attention to Sam. Deeks turned his attention towards to Sam, as well, as Sam was making a phone call.
"Callen we found the Lance Corporal and her son. Heading to the boat shed now." Sam said, and then hung up the phone.
Deeks let Sam do all the talking. Isabella's son was skittish around Deeks, but he listened to everything Sam had to say. Deeks led the way back out of the complex.
N.C.I.S. L.A.
Callen hung up the phone, and then spoke to Kensi.
"Sam and Deeks found the Lance Corporal and her son. They are all heading to the boat shed."
"Sounds like this might be an interesting case." Kensi said, hesitant about seeing her partner again.
"We can only hope." Callen said, as the partners exited the warehouse, and made their way back to the boat shed.
N.C.I.S. L.A.
Callen and Kensi showed up at the boat shed, and hurried into the building. Sam was talking to Isabella and her son, while Deeks stood off in the corner in a daze. Isabella's son was fascinated by Deeks demeanor. When Callen and Kensi came into view Sam pardoned himself to switch information with Callen and Kensi. Deeks approached the child, and apologized for his actions. The child accepted Deeks apology, and then Deeks walked over to the team; albeit, Deeks stood next to Sam. Deeks listened while the seniors agents spoke, but he notice the hurt look on Kensi face.
"What did she tell you?" Callen asked.
"To put it simply she was on the run; whether it's from a co-worker, or an enemy your guess is as good as mine." Sam said.
Deeks looked at Isabella and took in the details: trench coat, scarf, thick makeup, and gloves.
"Kind of warm for that get up isn't?" Deeks asked.
Sam, Kensi and Callen gave Deeks a questioning glance, and then Kensi asked.
"What does that have anything to do with the weather?"
Deeks had a flashback to his childhood, and realized why that get up seemed familiar.
"Everything." Deeks said.
Deeks broke away from the group and approached Isabella. Isabella looked at Deeks, and Deeks stared her down. Isabella shot Deeks a look, and then Deeks nodded for her to follow. Isabella patted her son on the head, and then followed Deeks; when they approached Sam, Kensi and Callen Isabella realized what this was about. Isabella wiped away the makeup, then pulled off her gloves, and then her coat. The scarf was last to be removed. Deeks face became extremely animated, and then he turned away. Kensi, Sam, and Callen mouths almost hit the floor when the saw the scars and bruises on Isabella's body.
Kensi realized why Deeks reacted as he did, but just as she was about to say something Deeks broke away from the group and went over to Isabella's son. Kensi was hurt by Deeks blowing her off; Deeks was hurting because he was reliving his past, while fighting for his future. Deeks sat down by Isabella's son and then stared off into the distance. Isabella's son said something to Deeks, and he responded.
"Are you okay?" The child asked.
"No." Deeks said.
"You want to talk about it?" The child asked.
"Not really." Deeks said.
"Are we in trouble?" The child asked.
"You aren't, but I am." Deeks said.
"Maybe you should talk to somebody." The child said.
"You're preaching to the choir kid; your preaching to the choir." Deeks said.
Deeks shot a glance at Kensi and she quickly returned her attention to Isabella's story.
{What are you really afraid of princess?} Deeks thought as he turned his head and stared off into the distance; all the while returning to his session with Rachel this morning.
Flashback-
"So you're saying that because I spent so much time undercover and taking down bad guys that it would have eventually caught up to me?" Deeks asked
"Yes." Rachel said with a knowing smile.
Deeks thought about what Rachel said, and went deep into his brain. It took him sometime, which Rachel was happy to wait him out. After a time Rachel asked.
"What brought you in to see me Marty?"
"My partner, who happens to be a woman, is near and dear to me." Deeks said.
Deeks hesitated a moment before speaking again.
"You love her don't you?" Rachel asked.
Deeks nodded his head yes.
"Is she still alive?" Rachel asked.
Deeks again nodded his head yes.
"What's her name?" Rachel asked, curious about her patient's love life.
"Kensi Blye." Deeks said without hesitating.
"What happened to her?" Rachel asked.
Deeks paused before answering. The pause was so long that Rachel was becoming uncomfortable.
"What happened to you?" Rachel asked.
"Kensi was on assignment in Afghanistan for about five months." Deeks said.
There was another pause before either one of them spoke.
"Her mission isn't the reason for your impromptu session is it?" Rachel asked.
"No; no it isn't." Deeks said.
One more pause.
"What did you do?" Rachel asked.
Rachel waited out another pause, but what shocked her was lone the tear that escaped Deeks eye.
"I attempted to torture a man." Deeks said.
End Flashback-
"Deeks."
Deeks was brought back to reality suddenly by Kensi saying his name. Deeks looked up at Sam, who was nodding for him to get the show on the road.
"Coming Sam." Deeks said.
Deeks got up and exited the boat shed. Kensi just stared at Deeks, and felt crushed that he is avoiding her.
"Are you okay?" Callen asked.
"Other than the fact that Deeks is now avoiding me." Kensi said.
"I thought that you wanted space between the two of you?" Callen asked.
"Deeks is hurting Callen." Kensi said.
"I'll speak to Hetty when I get the chance." Callen said.
With that being said, Kensi and Callen exited the boat shed.
N.C.I.S. L.A.
Rachel was packing up her belongs ready to go home, but she got a phone call.
"Hello." Rachel said.
"Hi Rachel." Deeks said
"Want another session?" She asked.
"Is it possible?" He asked.
"What time do you get off?" She asked.
There was a pause before Deeks responded.
{Probably checking his watch.} Rachel thought.
"Six." Deeks said.
"Can we push it to six thirty; I didn't get a break for lunch today?" She asked.
"See you at six thirty." Deeks said, and then hung up the phone.
Rachel looked up at the clock and say that it was four fifty, so she packed everything up and went to get dinner.
N.C.I.S. L.A.
Deeks was just hanging up the phone when Sam walked up behind him asking.
"Who's Rachel?"
Deeks looked at Sam and then walked back towards the bull pen.
"That would be your therapist." Sam said, and then followed Deeks back into Ops.
It was at this time Callen and Kensi were coming back from running down a lead. Callen and Sam did the talking while Kensi and Deeks listened. To Kensi relief Deeks let her stand next to him; Deeks listened while zoning out; Kensi was more content with watching Deeks reaction. Which was nonexistent.
"For now we are at an impasse until the next lead pans out." Callen said.
"Back to desk work." Sam said.
As the agents broke off to wait for their current lead to pan out, or a new lead from Eric and Nell, Kensi pulled Deeks down a side hall. Deeks had to regain his composure because Kensi had pulled him out of his stupor.
"Are you okay?" Kensi asked.
Deeks took a beat to answer that question.
"What do you think Kensi?" Deeks asked, schooling his voice and features.
"I can't tell because you aren't letting me in." Kensi said.
"I made a mistake and I'm sorry, but you weren't exactly forth coming this morning." Deeks said.
"I was scared." Kensi said. "Max Gentry isn't exactly a people person."
"Yeah well some people didn't have the luxury of living with two parents that actually care about you." Deeks said.
"That's what this is about?" Kensi asked, the outrage clearly written on her face.
"To be honest I don't know what it's about, but don't every make another crack about me having another girlfriend. There's only one woman I want to date." Deeks said.
Deeks stared Kensi in her eyes and then walked away.
Before Deeks could make his getaway Kensi asked.
"Who's the special lady?"
Deeks stopped and shook his head in response to Kensi question.
{She can't be that naive.} Deeks thought.
"I'll give you two guess, but you only going to need one." Deeks said over his shoulder, and then exited the hallway.
After Deeks had left the hallway Kensi had realized that Deeks had walked her into the wall again, and had felt sweat droplets that had form on her forehead. Kensi had relaxed her body posture, and wiped away the sweat. When she had composed herself, Kensi had left to go find Callen.
N.C.I.S. L.A.
Deeks had just informed Hetty that he had another appointment at six thirty, so he went back to his desk and wasted time until he could leave. While he was sitting at his desk Callen entered the bull pen, and then pulled up a chair.
"What's going on Deeks?" Callen asked.
Deeks thought about his response before answering.
"What exactly is the point of the discussion?" Deeks asked.
"Concern has been brought to my attention about your actions in the workplace." Callen said.
"Or there were concerns about my mental health." Deeks countered.
"Concerns were voiced, and I'm just trying to see how much this problem affects the team." Callen said.
"Well as I said earlier when I walked in at ten thirty that I had an impromptu meeting with a doctor." Deeks said.
Deeks looked at his watch and saw that he still had twenty minutes before he could leave.
"What that's?" Callen asked.
"What's what?" Deeks asked.
"Why did you check your watch for?" Callen asked. "Got a hot date, or a secret rendezvous with Isabella?"
"What makes you think that I have interests in her?" Deeks asked.
"I saw how you were staring at her when Kensi and I walked into the boat shed earlier." Callen teased.
Deeks felt every fiber in his body go rigid, but he refused to act. No matter how much the teasing stung Deeks didn't engage. Callen even saw the flinch that Deeks made and wondered what that was about.
Deeks simply stood up from his chair and left the bull pen; Callen, stumped by what just transpired, got up and ran after Deeks. When they entered the hall Deeks reacted, and Callen wasn't prepared for it. Deeks pinned Callen to the wall with a forearm under Callen's chin and his dominant arm pinned to the wall; not to cut off his breathing, but enough to make sure Callen got the point.
"I have always suffer in silence every time I experience something soul crushing. So let me make this perfectly clear: if you can't support me when the event happens, don't bother supporting me at all." Deeks said.
Deeks backed away from the wall and turned and walked away. Callen was thoroughly surprised by Deeks sudden outburst, but wasn't able to think on it because Kensi was coming to talk to him about Deeks.
"Hey you got a moment?" Kensi asked.
Callen didn't respond at first, but eventually.
"Yeah." Callen said, finally acknowledging Kensi presence.
"You okay? You look like you just had an encounter with Deeks." Kensi said.
"You could say that." Callen said.
"What happened?" Kensi asked.
"Deeks just pinned me to the wall about thirty seconds ago, with an arm under my chin." Callen said.
"Are you okay?" Kensi asked.
"Yeah I made a crack about meeting with Isabella, or a hot date and Deeks flinched." Callen said.
"Okay fair warning; albeit too late: don't make cracks about other women to Deeks. It pisses him off." Kensi said.
"That warning would have been great about two minutes ago." Callen said.
"So now you know what I mean about Deeks behavior." Kensi said, trying to reinforce her point from earlier.
"I think Deeks behavior runs much deeper than what you think. Something happened to him." Callen said.
"When?" Kensi asked
There was a pause before Callen answered.
"I have no definitive answer for that question." Callen said,
N.C.I.S. L.A.
Just as Deeks was exiting the building, Granger paid a visit to Hetty.
"Owen, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Hetty asked.
"Where Deeks heading off to?" Owen asked.
"He had an appointment to speak with a psychologist at six thirty." Hetty said.
"Even though we still have an active case?" Granger asked.
"For now the case is dead in the water while we await new leads, or the current lead takes us somewhere." Hetty said.
"How long has he been seeing the shrink?" Granger asked.
"Since this morning." Hetty said. "Should I be concerned?"
"For the moment, no." Granger said.
It was at this moment that Sam had come walking by Hetty office.
"Mr. Hanna." Hetty said.
"Yes." Sam said as he entered her office.
"Your partner had another doctor's appointment, so you Mr. Callen will be partner together again until Mr. Deeks return." Hetty said.
"And Kensi?" Sam asked.
"Miss. Jones will partner with her." Hetty said.
"Yes ma'am." Sam said, and then left the office.
"Want to explain that one?" Granger asked.
"This morning there was an incident involving Mr. Deeks and Miss. Blye. I thought it was best to swap partners until this problem blows over." Hetty said.
"Keep me in the loop." Granger said, and then got up and exited the office.
T.B.C.
A/N: I want to apologize to my fans for taking so long getting this chapter out. I have two other stories beside this one I'm working on, and the tone of this story is even newer to me than Sting of the Scorpion. So I'm trying to take my time and write this as realistic as I possibly can. And again thank you for your patience, your view and reviews.