Chapter 2
Sister of the Crimson Dragon: Yo! Thanks for the reviews Mason and HoldOnToLife! Yeah, sorry 'bout breaking your brain Mason ;P. Here's chappie 2! By the way, there's a poll on which "Fruits Basket" I-
Kenjii: *coughs on purpose*
Me: I mean "we", should torture next. Please vote! This girl's creepin' me out! *points to Kenjii*
Kenjii: *sharpens knife, evil glare with evil voice* Read and review, OR I WILL CUT YOUR HEADS OFF, AND YOU WILL DIE!
Me: Oh! And Yuki's fan-club girls are options as well; Motoko Minagawa, Minami Kanoshita, Mio/Miu Yamagishi, Mai Gotu and Rika Aida(despite the fact that she's a Jr. mem. and only appears once in the anime) Yes, this is based on the anime, but Rin, Kureno, Mayuko and Machi will be there in the options as well.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own "Fruits Basket". Only me, myself and I, and Kenjii. And the torturing.
Narrator: (since when did we have one?) Previously, on "Attacking the FruBa Gang!":
~Kyo: TO H*** I AM NOT!
Me: Than why are you yelling; "GET THE H*** AWAY FROM ME!"?
Kyo: BECAUSE I HATE THIS FREAK!
You: *looks like a kicked puppy* Y-you hate me?
Kyo: *blushes* Eh.
*starts to cry* W-why? Why do you hate me?! What did I ever do to you? When I watched Fruits Basket, I always hoped you'd be accepted by the others! So why?
~Me: Um, he IS accepted by others. He's just not accepted by the Sohmas. You're talking about Yuki.
Hush child! You're not helping!
~Me: Sorry. But yeah ya fat baka kitty! Ya betta apologize or they'll be a NASTY surprise in my Fruits Basket fan-fic. Oh and sorry Kenjii (you) but Kyo is paired with Brianna, another Howrse friend who's in my story. You are with... SHIGURE! Haha! I'm changing it though. :P
S-S-Shigure? b-but...
~Me: I know, I know. I'm changing it.
*completely forgets about my story* Kyo? Are you trying to escape?
~*Kyo nowhere to be seen*
You: Oh well, time to torture another Sohma. *laughs evilly, dark aura*
[back to the present]
~You: *still sharpening knife* Now, who-
Ayame: *insert music whenever Aya is here/happy* Hellooooo! Yes, it is I, the wonderful brother of Yuki! I-
You: *hits Aya* YOU DARE INTERRUPT ME?! SHAME ON YOU!
Shigure: You better be careful Aya-kun. She viscious! I was nearly killed!
Ayame: As long as I live, I shall protect you with all my life!
Shigure: Aya! You are my bold knight, my passion, my love!
Me: THIS IS INCEST! AND GAY! I DO NOT ALLOW THIS! THE HECK?!
Me: Aya! Bad snakey! I don't care if you're here or not!
Aya: Ouch...
Kyo: (guess he came back) What are you doing here?
Me: Here kitty kitty kitty! *sharpens the knife*
~Kyo: GET THE F***AWAY FROM ME! *runs away*
You: BAD KITTY, BAD, BAD, BAD!
Yuki: Wha- *was sleeping* *deadly tone and aura* What is HE doing here?
Aya: Oh Yuki! It's so nice to see you again. Have you-
Yuki: SKIN IT!
*starts chasing the kitty with a knife*
~I thought we were torturing Aya and *bleep*? Not Kyo.
*turns around and starts chasing Aya*
Ayame: Shigure, save me!
Me: Bastard. I'm gonna call Ha'ri. *goes away*
You: *growls*
*chases Aya into a corner* Where ya gonna hide now snakey? Not in my shirt I hope...
~Me: I don't think so. No one hugged him, I hope...
*hears "poof" and Tohru screaming*
Me: Oh shit!
You: YOU SWORE! DIE, DIE, DIE!
Me: DARN IT! IF IT INVOLVES BEING PISSED AT A PERVERTED SOHMA, THEN YA SHOULDN'T MIND!
Ugg fine. Okay. Tohru? You okay?
~You: *walks into kitchen and finds Tohru on the ground scared*
Me: Awe Tohru!
You: *evil glint in eyes* YOU BASTARD! PERVERTED IDIOT! *has knife, hatchett and finds Aya* YA JERK! *steps on him*
Da** you Aya! You're almost as bad as that damn cat!
Me: Ya! Now-
Haru: Hello?
You: Haru? Whaddya doin' here?
Me: Ya?
Haru: Well, you called for me.
Me: Huh? I- *remembers flashback:*
[Flashback]
Jane (me)'s POV:
I went to the hall where the phone was.
"Kuso! What's Hatori's number again?"
Swearing under my breath, I decided to call Hatsuharu, since he might be able to get Hatori.
"He isn't here." Haru replied cooly once I got him on the phone. "I think he's with Akito or whatever. Doctor buisness. Why call? Ya sick?"
"Uh, ne. Uh, just that Kenjii is, um, beating Kyo, Shigure and Ayame to the ground." I replied laughing nervously.
"Hmm, is that so? Maa, I'll come over for a visit then! No butts! Or I'll go Black on you. And NOT the pretty one." Haru said with a dangerous voice.
"Nani [1]? Demo [2], I-" but he hung up on me."
[end of flashback]
Haru? You haven't been a bad little calf now, have you?
~Haru: *frowns*
Me: *hugs Haru* Aww. Don't make my Haru-kun angry. He's real nasty when he goes Black.
Haru: *goes Black* Oh, so my baby girl is inasulting me? Heh? *looks "sad"*
Me: Uh, no...?
Haru: *holds me closer, almost kiss, says in a flirty way* Hmm. That's good. Cause if you were, I'd have to punish you, hmm?
You: OH MY EFFIN' GOSH! GET A ROOM YOU TWO!
X3 Agh! I'm leaving... where'd that stupid snake go?
~Me: *keeps hugging Haru and points to upstairs*
You: Ahhh! *runs upstairs*
Me and Haru: *hears crashing, screaming and yelling*
Yuki: *comes in the kitchen/dinning room* What's going on?
Me: Kenjii's killing Aya.
Yuki: *murmurs* Thank goodness!
Tohru: Oh no! Is Ayame ok? Where is he?
Yuki: *pats Tohru's back* Don't worry Ms. Honda.
Me: *snickers* She won't be a miss for very long.
Yuki: What?
Me: Where ya at snakey-snake?
Aya: *hiding*
Me: *finds him* Ah-ha! There you are! Ya hungry? I'll give ya a sandwich! *holds up fist*
~Aya: *screams and runs downstairs*
*chases him*
~Me: *laughs and still hugging Haru* (I just love him! Deal with it!)
You: *yells* DUMB SNAKE! DUMB IRIS [3]!
*chasing Aya around the house with a knife*
~Akito: *opens door*
Everyone else: *freezes*
Akito: *eyes narrowing, cold voice* What's going on?
Me: *in brave voice* Kenjii is trying to kill Ayame for being a perverted idiot. Wait, what are you doing here? YOU AREN'T IN THIS CHAPTER! GO AWAY!
Akito: You tell the god to go away?!
Me: Well, I have a different religion than you, and in my religion, God is immortal, came on Earth once, and, yeah.
*stops chasing Aya for a sec* Yeah stupid! You're not god! Now get the hell outta here! (as you can see, I'm not afraid of Akito...) If you don't get goin', I'm gonna... I'm gonna... I don't know what i'll do, but it won't be pretty, got it? Now where'd that stupid snake go?
~Akito: You should be lucky I kept your fu-
Me: Umm, you shouldn't start swearing. She nearly killed Kitty over there! *points to Kyo, with many bruises and ice pack to cheek*
Akito: I don't give a damn! Get over it and be glad I kept your memories!
Y' know, you talk big... FOR A GIRL! Just try and take our memories *holds up fist and glares at him* I dare ya!
~ Akito: YOU DARE TO CHALLENGE ME?! WHY I-
Kira Dellington (from "In a Zodiac World): Akito? Akito-san? You here?
You: Akito-san? You let Light Yagami call you "Akito-san" and yet you make your family call you "Akito-sama"? *laughs* So cruel.
Me: *only heard what Akito said* Haha yeah. I do dare to challenge you! Oh, I almost forgot, if you were a supposed 'god' wouldn't you be a 'goddess'? Hahahahaha!
~ Akito: *outraged* WHAT?!
Me: Um, well, like we said, you're a fictional character in our world in books and TV series. In the TV series, you're a guy, but in the books, you're a girl that looks like a guy sometimes.
Akito: *thinks deeply* That's fucked up!
You: Hey! The challenge?!
*sharpening my knife* I'll give you a head start if you wanna run away...
~ Akito: *growls* Oh, go to hell! *leaves*
You: Ugh, I had enough killing him. Now, where's Aya?
Kira: What's goin' on?
You: Nothin' Light Yagami. Go away!
Kira: *shrugs and leaves*
You: Now, WHERE IS AYA?!
Me: *points in kitchen*
Aya: "*rowing mushrooms like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club*
You: Oh well. Iris is being annoying anyways. But I'll be back! I shall, retuuuurn! *Italian opera/baker's voice and leaves*
Sister of the Crimson Dragon: Well, sorry for the long update! Me and Kenjii have not been online at the same time so I couldn't reply quickly. Please R&R! And Kira Dellington is another character from "In a Zodiac World" which is coming out maybe tomorrow! See ya next time and don't forget about the poll on the next "Fruits Basket" pair we should torture! We already did Kyo, Shigure, Akito (only a bit so we wouldn't get our minds erased) and Ayame. Who'll be next?
Kenjii: *in the background* IT'D BETTER BE A COUPLE OF THOSE FAN-GIRLS!
Me: Ugh, just vote on any couple please.
1: Nani: means; "what" in Japanese
2: Demo: means; "but" in Japanese
3: Kenjii and I called Ayame; "Iris" cause that's what his name means.
There are other Japanese words mentioned in this story.