This was intended as a one shot, I actually wrote it for an assignment, but I read over it tonight and thought it had some potential. Sorry to those who are waiting on an update for After Neverland, my computer that has all my notes for that story died, and I haven't yet retrieved the hard drive, but it's the fic is not abandoned! I'm just slow as all hell…. If it makes you feel any better, I've been working on a novel for 5 years now, so this is going faster than that. Doesn't help? Yeah, wouldn't make me feel better either. Anyway, enjoy.
Emma couldn't sleep. Not your general restlessness, pillow too hot, kind of not being able to sleep, Emma wasn't sure that she would ever sleep again. She glanced over at the clock, 3.21 am. It had been 12 hours. 12 hours since she had asked Regina to marry her. 12 hours since Regina had said yes.
Yes.
Yes?
She played the conversation out in her mind for the millionth time since she had ended it with an awkward 'righto' and gone to have a panic attack in the bathroom.
'What if you were my wife?' said Emma, mostly to herself.
'What?'
What?
'If I convinced Snow that you were my true love, I don't think she'd let anyone kill you.' Emma stammered out.
'She'd do it herself, for your own good.' Regina said dryly.
'She wouldn't, not if she thought it would destroy me and Henry.'
Regina laughed 'Miss Swan, are you asking me to marry you?'
'I think I might be.'
They stared at each other, Regina puzzled and Emma terrified.
Regina eventually broke the silence 'You're…asking ME to marry YOU?'
'Tosaveyourlife,' Emma winced as the words tumbled out of her mouth inarticulately. 'ForHenry'.
She cleared her throat and tried again 'To save your life, for Henry.'
Regina frowned, 'And you think that's the best way to save my life?
'I'm just spitballing,' replied Emma, desperately trying to seem casual.
A hint of a smile tugged at Regina's lips. Emma knew that smile. That smile meant trouble. Fuck.
'So there'd be a wedding?' Regina enquired in her polite, calm politician's voice.
'Yeah, I guess,' Emma replied, trying to stop nervously picking at her nails, a habit of hers that Regina despised.
'To be convincing?'
'That… would be best I suppose.'
'You may kiss the bride?' Regina queried, enjoying Emma's nervousness.
'Well, one kiss, I've kissed people before,' Emma mumbled.
'Yes, I'd assumed.'
'And would we buy a nice house and have two more children?' Regina said, unable to keep the teasing tone from her voice.
'You already have a house,' Emma mumbled, having no idea what else to say.
'Yes dear, very astute of you.
Emma threw her hands up in the air. 'Look it was a stupid idea, I just thought it might be a solution to the whole 'Kill Regina' issue. Who's gonna kill the Saviour's wife, you know? Forget it.'
Regina turned back to the books on her desk and Emma turned to go get parsnips, possibly for several hours, relieved to be off the hook.
'Yes,' came Regina's calm voice.
Emma spun, catching her boot on the rug.
'Yes what?'
Regina smiled, her beautiful smile that made Emma melt even though she knew it wasn't a real smile, just one of Regina's many masks.
'Yes Miss Swan, I'll marry you.'
'I…good. Righto.'
Emma heard Regina laugh softly as she rushed out of the room.
Righto?
She'd seriously said 'righto'?
Emma slammed her head against her pillow repeatedly.
Righto.
Righto.
Righto.
And then, a tiny voice inside her head, the one who had started this whole mess. You get to kiss Regina.
Yeah great, she snapped back at it, a fake kiss at our fake wedding.
The voice shrugged, if a voice could shrug. Still….
Shut up.
Regina glanced over at the clock, 3.21 am. It had been 12 hours. 12 hours since Emma Swan had asked her to marry her. 12 hours since she had said yes.
What had she done?
She could get out of it, she knew that, Emma would be undoubtedly relieved. It was the high of the eternal game of one upmanship that she played with Emma Swan that had prompted the 'yes' in the first place.
'Miss Swan, are you asking me to marry you?'
'I think I might be.'
She'd been trying to embarrass her! So she'd pushed, and Emma hadn't backed down, and Regina… Well, Regina. Did. Not. Lose.
So she'd said yes, and Emma's face, oh it had felt so worth if until the reality had sunk in.
She slammed her head against the pillow repeatedly.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
God, was she expected to become Regina Swan? Well that was just unacceptable.
Try as she might though, she couldn't think of an alternative that she could turn to her advantage like she knew she could this one.
Emma was right, the town's people were so far up the Saviour's ass that Regina would become untouchable, she would have her freedom back. She could buy her own damn parsnips again.
So she'd be living with Emma, she was doing that anyway. And Henry, well she'd have to broach that with Emma, she wouldn't lie to him again, but they could make him understand, and she'd get to stay with him. It gave her time, time to win him back, time to think her way out of this post-curse nightmare.
So there might be some hand holding and some faux displays of affection, a wedding day kiss. Kissing Emma couldn't be any worse than kissing Leopold had been, and even if Emma was hiding some surprise Sapphic inclinations, she was far too noble to try and blackmail Regina into any 'wifely duties'.
And Snow's face. That would have to be her other stipulation, she would remain Regina Mills and she would be there when Emma, when they, told Snow. Her curse may have been broken but she was going to win after all. She would finally destroy Snow's happiness. Maybe she'd go all out on that kiss.
Yes, she could do this. She could marry Emma Swan.
It was 3.21am and Henry couldn't sleep. Tonight he had sat through the weirdest dinner of his life. Living at the mansion again had been awkward at first. He was still mad at his Mom, still didn't know what to think about the fact that he had been right. Right about living in a town full of amnesic fairy tale characters, right about his evil Mom. But his evil Mom was still his Mom, it was confusing. And now they were living with Emma, his new Mom, no that didn't feel right, his other Mom, and at first the fights had been spectacular. When Emma had spilt cereal of the Persian rug, his Mom's hands had shimmered with heat as she held back the fireballs she was desperate to unleash, every candle in the house had lit and the toaster had exploded. Mom didn't speak to Emma for two days.
Sooner than he'd expected though, things settled between the three off them. It was almost like the family he'd imagined when he'd sat up late at night reading his book over and over again. Sure he'd imagined a Dad, but he liked having his two Moms, having family dinners and listening to them bicker like his friend's parents bickered. It was nice. Tonight though, it was even stranger than the dinner they'd had the first night he'd moved but in. That had been awkward, no one knew what to say, and everyone tried too hard, but tonight was different. They talked about the same kind of stuff they normally did but Emma avoided eye contact with his Mom, and the one time their eyes had met, Mom had winked at her and Emma had choked on her water. Emma had seemed nervous and Mom had a weird smile on her face like she was thinking about a joke that he was 'too young to understand'. Mom made Emma's favourite dessert but Emma seemed terrified by the gesture instead of happy. Emma had washed the dishes without being asked. It was weird.
Something was going on, he was sure of it, and he was going to find out what.