Chapter 2, Sano Weightlifting
Another day of the Meiji Olympics dawned bright and clear, and this time the contestants were warming up their muscles as they waited for the final round of weightlifting to begin.
'Are you sure you want to do this Sano?' Kenshin asked, slightly warily as a very bulky man walked past, unable to swing his arms normally because of all the extra muscle hampering his movements.
'Yeah,' Sano answered breezily as another man began bending 1 inch steel girders with his bare hands. 'Should be interesting.'
'If you say so, Sano' Kaoru said slightly doubtfully. 'Kenshin and I are going to join Yahiko in the stands now,' She told the ex-streetfighter. '…goodluck?' She finished hesitantly as she saw a contestant behind Sano begin repeatedly banging his head against the wall and screaming, apparently, Sano told them later, this helped the man to focus.
'Yeah, thanks Jou-chan' Sano said with a somewhat feral grin, he shot a quick thumbs up at the pair and went to join the other contestants, not caring if he stepped on the chests of a few of the men doing sit ups on his journey across the room, as with all that extra muscle they didn't notice.
'Do you think he'll be ok?' Kaoru asked Kenshin, as the pair watched him go with big sweatdrops on their heads.
'I think we will know very soon, Kaoru-dono,' was the rurouni's unhelpful reply. 'but I do think that we should go and join Yahiko now, that we should.' He finished leading her away but the arm, as she tried to catch another glimpse of Sano. 'They will be starting very soon that they will.'
'The starting weight will be 67kg.' The voice over the loudspeaker informed the crowd. 'All contestants are welcome to attempt this lift, but remember, each contestant is only allowed to try three separate weights three times each, making for a total of 9 attempts. The winner will be the individual who manages to lift over his head the largest combined weight. Does everyone understand?'
Audience sweatdrops.
The loudspeaker voice cleared his throat, 'I guess we can explain a little more clearly as we go along… would the contestants who would like to attempt the 67kg lift please approach the bar.
Three men lined up, including the smallest man in the competition besides Sano, compared to the other men he was absolutely shrimpy, being only double the muscle structure of Hiko Seijuro.
He stomped up to the bar, causing three glasses of water to fall off the judges table ten meters away, and bent in preparation for the lift.
Unfortunately for him, he was so nervous his hands were sweating profusely and he forgot to chalk them to improve his grip before he tried to lift the bar, at first it appeared that he was going to lift it easily. He managed to get the bar up to his gargantuan chest, before loosing his grip spectacularly and dropping the entire weight on his size 14C feet. (I have no idea what shoe measuring systems you guys use in other countries, in other words his feet are HUGE.)
The shrimpy weightlifter howled like a wounded bison until someone sedated him with a blow dart and he was carted out of the area in a wheelbarrow.
'Ouch, de gozaru.' Could be heard clearly from the silent stands.
The other contestants who had also considered lifting the weight all scooted out of the room muttering something about being past their prime and becoming sport commentators. The larger men who were waiting for their turn to attempt a lift also backed out of the room in varying speeds, one yelling something about having progressed beyond the physical form and becoming a monk.
Audience O.O
The loudspeaker cleared his throat again, and shuffled his notes to something towards the back. 'Well that was one way to eliminate to competition…' He laughed weakly.
Audience still O.O
'Ahem… well ladies and gentlemen it would appear that we only have two competitors remaining, they are; Kagerobi Junei, current world champion and the world record holder with a lift of 178kg! This man literally eats nails for breakfast' pauses for effect without milk!'
Audience gasps as Kagerobi began strikingposes that best showed off his muscle.
'And his challenger today is…' Sano puffed himself up waiting for an intro similar to Kagerobi's. 'Sagaru Sanosume.'
Sagara Sanosuke!! Could be heard from the background
'Right, sorry, would the great Kagerobi be willing to try 184kg?' Kagerobi nodded regally while Sano jumped around in the background yelling his head off at being ignored.
Kagerobi sauntered up to the podium, taking a very long time to chalk his hands and arrange his grip properly on the bar. He took a deep breath and held it, then he began, he lifted the bar slowly to his knees sweating and grunting as his muscles bulged, he held it there for a few seconds before yelling loudly and propelling the bar onto his chest, he held it there for a little longer, sweat running down his face in rivulets, Kagerobi sucked in a little more air and thrust the weight over his head, holding it there for the designated time.
He dropped the weight back to the floor and punched the air, the audience all gasped as they heard a loud popping noise and Kagerobi staggered around gripping his newly dislocated shoulder.
'And that folks is why you should never lift huge weights and then celebrate by punching things.' Came the voice over the loudspeaker.
Audience sweatdropped
'Well folks I think that about wraps up our weightlifting championship today, even though his shoulder is dislocated, Kagerobi did indeed lift the weight in a flawless show of strength, I think we can all be clear that with no contestants remaining Kagerobi has once again won gold.'
'HEEEEEY!!!' Came Sano's voice.
'Oh, right, you… sorry, you want to have a go at this weight too?' He asked.
'No, I wanna have a go at 200kg.' Sano yelled back.
'Whatever its your funeral.' Was the caring reply from a man who no longer has passion for his work.
The weight was set up and Sano walked up to the podium. He chalked his hands, clapped them once to get some of the chalk off, sneezed and then had to chalk them again.
He arranged his grip on the bar took a deep breath and began to lift it to his knees, he was sweating and grunting just like Kagerobi had, Sano gasped in a little more air and managed to get it up to his chest he held it there for a few seconds before the weight somehow managed to drop back down to his knees (I have no idea if that's legal or not, so if it is please look past it for the sake of the story ) The audience gasped thinking Sano was about to drop the weight, he looked up at the thousands of people watching him and suddenly grinned, 'Was that Kagerobi guy serious?' He asked as he stood up straight, the 200kg weight lifted over his head in one hand as if it weighed no more than 2kg, the light bleeped and Sano was allowed to drop it, he waited a few more seconds just to prove he could and placed the barbell gently on the ground again.
He stood up easily and flashed a big thumbs up at the shocked audience. 'Yeah!!!' Yahiko yelled as he Kenshin and Kaoru began to clap and cheer for their roosterheaded friend.
After a while the rest of the audience joined in until the whole room was cheering for Sano.
'Alright, alright.' Came the voice over the loudspeaker again, 'so, he's strong, would someone give him his prizes so we can all go home?' there was a loud whine of feedback as the man in the booth knocked over the microphone on his way out of the box without bothering to turn it off. 'I'm really starting to hate this job.' He muttered.
The audience listened as his footsteps faded away, O.O.
'That was fun,' Kaoru said as the four left the building shortly after, 'before this is over I might have a go at something.' She fingered the bills that Sano had given her to repair the gate he had broken. 'The prizes are really good!'
'Doesn't anyone else find it a bit odd that out of the two events Sano and I have completely outclassed all the competition?' Kenshin asked curiously.
'Pfft, you think too much Kenshin.' Sano said as he wrapped an arm around his friends shoulders. 'Just accept that we are better in most ways to everyone around us.'
'Your modesty is humbling, de gozaru yo.' Kenshin told his friend with a straight face.
'Thanks Kenshin, I know.' Was the reply.
A/N : i know, I know it's been much too long since I've added anything to any of my stories. There might not be much of a chance of me adding anything to Unexplained Happenings for a couple of months yet as I need some comedy in my life at the moment and am having trouble writing other genres.
Thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter of my story and I'm glad you all liked it -.
Terry-McElrath- I'm glad you liked it, I've just recently discovered your stuff, I really like your story where Rurouni gets a day out… I loved it, there aren't enough Battousai stories out there with some humour in 'em -, I'm honoured you liked my story -
Mccaine – I'm happy you liked Saitoh's style, as I said in the summary, I really do love Saitoh as a character, he's just so much fun to play with if you know what I mean? Characters that are so serious tend to make funnier spoofs -, thanks for reviewing.
Limelie- Hi, thanks so much for your review, Saitoh is so fun to mess with -, hope you like this chapter too.
Jykamiya- I can't believe you and the other reviewers find my stuff so amusing, as long as I get a giggle out of it I feel the story is worthwhile, but to know that you like them too is really encouraging. Thanks heaps -
Vote for the event next chapter!!!
Saitoh and Kenshin 100m sprint
Shishio rhythmic gymnastics
Hiko 10m diving platform
Kaoru Judo