I wrote this literally half a year ago. It was an idea Laiba and I had been fussing over and then I just went and wrote. We never knew what to call it and we put it to the back of our minds. But I do warn you, I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote it. I vaguely remember a bunch of 7Eleven Slurpees being part of my diet that day...
•All Meh Shinigameh~Forbidden Love•
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!" Ichigo cried into the night.
"Urusai! If you don't shut up, I'll fwoce you to be quiet!" Chappy yelled in triumph as she pulled back his arm.
"Shut the hell up with the cutesy talk!" Ichigo retorted in a crazed manner. "I'm in pain so I can't be quiet, ya know? Let go, you idiot!" She pulled on his arm. Crying, Ichigo yelled, "You're gonna break my arm, you're gonna break my arm! I'm gonna kick your ass!"
Smiling mischievously, Chappy said, "I don't want to have my butt kicked, so I'd better kill you first!"
"Matte, matte, matte! You're supposed to be holding me down right?"
"Woohoo! And your arm goes…bweak!"
"What are you fools doing?" Rukia asked as she glanced at a sadistic Chappy and a trembling Ichigo. With Sode no Shirayuki in her right hand, to the innocent bystander she looked like a murderer despite the fact no blood was on her pure white Zanpakuto.
"Rukia!" Ichigo said in alarm, while Chappy became silent behind him. "What happened to that guy? Did you beat him?" Moments before Chappy started to injure Ichigo, Rukia had run off to annihilate Arrancar 16, De Roy. How did she come back alive when she just regained her powers?
Offended, Rukia answered back, "Of course!" Leaning her sword on her right shoulder she continued. "If I hadn't, I wouldn't have come back here, would I?"
Shocked, Ichigo noticed her Zanpakuto for the first time. "You…that Zanpakuto…"
"Rukia-sama's Sode no Shirayuki," Chappy explained. "It's said to be the most beautiful of all the snow and ice Zanpakuto in Soul Society. That blade…the guard…even the hilt. A Zanpakuto of the purest white." Looking at it, she added. "So pwetty."
Sighing, Ichigo said, "That ruined it." In response to his comment, Chappy bent his arm as if to break it.
"Rukia-sama is actually strong enough to be a ranked officer," Chappy said after a moment. "But duties of an officer are markedly more dangerous than those of a subordinate officer. And because of a certain someone did not want to expose Rukia-sama to such dangers, he pulled some strings and had her removed from the officer candidates."
"A certain someone?" Ichigo asked in confusion. Who would have the power to do that? Who would go to such extreme measures to protect her?
"Yes," Chappy said. "Kuchiki Byakuya-sama."
Ichigos eyes went wide.
"Wuv."
Sighing, Ichigo said in frustration, "You ruined it again." In annoyance, Chappy began to make an attempt to break his arm again.
Sheathing her Zanpakuto, an annoyed Rukia said, "When are you going to stop? That's quite enough already, so hurry up and—" Her eyes went wide when she felt the reiatsu rise in the air. Ichigo, who had been released by Chappy, rose to join Rukia.
"What the hell? De Roy's been killed? Whatever," the figure in the sky said in confidence. "I'll just have to –" the blue haired stranger paused. His blue panther like eyes widened in amazement.
Why was his heart beating so furiously? He was supposed to hate the entire race, but he knew that something was different about her. With a light blush on his handsome features, the blue haired Arrancar smiled his chick-getting smile and said directly to the petite black haired girl, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Shinigami. I'm Arrancar Six, Grimmjow." Seems like I need to give my best for this beauty, he thought.
As one of the Espada, Grimmjow was not supposed to feel any love or commitment to this black haired Shinigami. But her beautiful purple eyes which widen in fear looked as lovely as the darkness of his home in Las Noches. Her face was as pure as the moon—in fact, the sword she held aloft in her fight with De Roy was rusty compared to her.
"Now tell me," he said seductively, "Which one of you is the strongest?" He glared at the orange haired Shinigami next to her in distaste. Was this boy her lover? In that case, he needed to be exterminated.
Glancing back at his future girlfriend, Grimmjow leaped forward and stuck his right hand into her chest. Rukia gasped in horror. Grimmjow smirked at her reaction. She had such a cute face. This foolproof method was the perfect way to make her his.
Unbeknownst to him, Rukia was already falling for him. Her dark eyes searched his ice blue ones. What she found was a cold yet loving soul. She found herself drowning in his eyes. Grimmjow stared back into her eyes. He found himself having the urge to stroke her black hair—which he did.
So soft. If she let it grow longer, she'd probably be more alluring to him.
"I knew you were probably the strongest," he whispered softly, his hand still around her warm heart. "You stole my heart. The only thing I have to do is steal yours too." He pulled his hand back, taking her heart with him.
Screaming, Rukia pulled her head back and shuddered, hair strands flung into the air. Grimmjow looked in wonder at her surprised form. Even in pain, she was beautiful.
"Rukia!" the orange haired Shinigami bellowed in horror. He unsheathed his Zanpakuto, and charged up to Grimmjow. Rolling his eyes, Grimmjow, flicked the Shinigami into the concrete with his fingertips. He was vaguely aware his name was Kurosaki Ichigo, but why did that matter if a beautiful woman was in his arms?
"Ichigo!" Rukia found herself yelling. "Don't you dare touch him!" Kissing him softly, she said, "I love him." She softly used the Espada's arm as a support and shifted her balance to stand on her two feet. In his right hand, was her glowing heart.
"Rukia! Are you okay? RUKIA!" Ichigo yelled as he stood and ran forward.
"Urusai, baka. You heard the girl. Don't disturb two lovers!" Grimmjow finally said. Ichigo stopped, his sword arm shaking. Rukia smiled at his reaction. All they had to do was knock him out and use to Memory Modifer on him so he could no longer remember their encounter.
Narrowing his eyes, the extremely annoyed Kurosaki charged forward without any aim…
….only to collide with a barrier. His head hit it first, then the rest of him. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and Ichigo was out cold.
Rukia and Grimmjow started to laugh at his expression.
"Grimmjow?" she asked while giggling.
"Yes, love?" he answered while hugging the petite girl.
"Let's draw on his face," she said shyly. She pulled out a small Sharpie, a medium Sharpie, and a large Sharpie.
Chuckling, Grimmjow tapped his lover's cheek and said, "That's a lovely idea." With an evil look in his eyes, he took the large marker and walked over to the unconscious Human.
When Ichigo woke up 7 hours later, all he would remember would be a ice sculpture which melted, two evil pandas who stole the rainbow ice cream factory, and painting on a statue(thanks to the help of the Memory Modifier).
Hearing snickering, he opened his eyes to see man wearing an ugly green and white striped hat.
"Urahara. What do you want?" "Kurosaki-kun. I never knew you liked face paint."
"Face paint?"
"They drew a Chappy on you."
"Eh? Chappy? Who's that? I remember one of the pandas talking about it a lot…"
"Pandas huh? Rukia would have liked it if you remembered her as a Chappy."
"Chappy? Isn't that some Bunny? You know the one in those pervy-but-interesting mag-"
•Omake•
After about a month, the memory modifier's affects wore off. Suddenly, when Ichigo was in his room, doing math homework, a thought hit him.
"RUKIA!" He yelled. "I'M GONNA SAVE YOU!" He turned into a soul reaper immediately and went over to Urahara's.
"Urahara-san. I need to save Rukia from Grimmjow. She was kidnapped and taken to Hueco Mundo." Ichigo explained in a hurry.
"Kurosaki–san. Let her go. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but Kuchiki-san is taken now." Urahara wisely stated. "Let her go. But she did send you a letter." After a thought he added, "But Kuchiki Byakuya's still single, last I've heard. Maybe you can cure our ice-hime's cold heart." He handed an envelope to the ignoring Ichigo. It had chappy drawn on it. Or well – it looked like chappy. Ichigo could never tell with Rukia's sucky drawings.
To Ichigo,
I'm sorry I left without explaining anything. Grimmjow and I are on our honeymoon right now so I couldn't give the letter to you personally. We are vacationing in Hueco Mundo. It is amazing. You should come and visit us sometime…..Or actually you probably shouldn't do that because Grimmjow gets overprotective. But that one of the things I love about him. He is truly the one for me. I know that you probably want to come and "rescue" me, but I love it here. I can spend all the time in the world with my true love – so I'll say this [well, write this] to you only once. PLEASE DON'T TRY TO RUIN MY NEW LIFE –otherwise Grimmjow will personally make you suffer the consequences.
Thanks and Goodbye,
{~Rukia Kuchiki Jaegerjaquez~}
P.S. Aizen helped us plan our honeymoon. He's so helpful [He is a GENIUS. I don't know why everyone hates him so much] but he can't see very well right now because he lost his glasses. Poor him.
P.P.S. I promise to visit you guys like once a year. Tell Renji and Nii-sama too.
After reading the letter, Ichigo knew what he had to do, he still wanted to get Rukia back but he ignored that feeling. He picked up his phone and called Renji. "Renji. What I'm gonna tell you right now is very important. So make sure to tell Byakuya right away."
"Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell Taichou. What's up anyway. You sound kinda pissed and sad too." Renji replied, glad to have an excuse to bother his Captain.
"Rukia. She – well. Okay so here it is." Ichigo started. "Rukia ran away with Grimmjow whose an Espada by the way because they fell in love at first sight it was really gross he pulled out her heart and everything and now they're married and in Hueco Mundo and she said to not come rescue her 'cuz she's happy." This was all said very fast and he had to explain it to Renji once again really slowly.
"Taichou will kill me if I tell him."
"He'll kill me if I tell him and I don't wanna die so it's up to you. Bye Renji." Ichigo closed the phone. If Renji or Byakuya want to save Rukia they can go die by Grimmjow's hands, Ichigo thought. She'll visit us eventually and if she didn't well, then it would be time to visit Hueco Mundo.
AND THAT MY NAKAMA IS THE 2ND INSTALLEMENT OF THE FAMED, "ALL MEH SHINIGAMEH."
So tell me, whatdidya think? I know Laiba added we accept requests too, so if you have a request, just write in that sexy box below because you KNOW its calling to YOU and not the panda- I mean person next to you O_O Unless theres a panda next to you, because I'm sure the review box is calling to you.
Love Pandas and Bloody Cookies,
Sabby-sama the Panda Empress.