It was strange to see Hawke again after so long apart. A welcomed sight no doubt, yet still odd. Varric worried that the young mage would not wish to come. He also worried that she would come as soon as he asked and then he would have to deal with the inquisitor and seeker much sooner than he would like to. Whether if it was fortunate or unfortunate that the latter happens, Varric was still unsure. Still, they had already gone out and got Hawke's warden ally. Yet during that journey, the two spoke barely a word to each other. It left Varric with a feeling of discomfort.
"You are tuning out again," Hawke comments as the two sit in the only pub around. "That has been happening a lot since I've arrived. Is there something else you want to discuss?"
Varric draws himself out of his thoughts to try and pay attention once more. "No. Just, haven't been getting a lot of rest lately." It is a lie. There were plenty of things on his mind that he wished he could discuss with his old friend, but he simply could not find the words. A terrible affliction for a writer.
Edyiss gives them 'that' look. The look that means she is not buying his shit today. The same one she gives him when he tells an outlandish story and only she knows the truth. Basically how she looked at him every night in the Hanged Man. A look that use to hold amusement when she was happy. Now it held pain from him lying, and anger that he was not being forthcoming with his thoughts. In a different time, he would have spoken the words right away. Back when they were all happier or maybe she was never really happy and Varric just hadn't notice. He never meant a young Hawke. The one before the loss of their father and sister. Maybe if he had he would understand her better now.
"If you say so." Edyiss looks away. Her hand rests on her chin and she looks out towards the other patron of the pub. "There is more of a variety here than at the Hanged Man, but none of them seem as rowdy."
"Of course not. They are on their best behavior. The champion is here after all." Varric teases. It was a weak attempt to ease the air between them.
Hawke sighs and rolls her eyes in her usual fashion. Varric looks down at her drink. She was drinking something strong. He could tell just by the smell that it was whatever The Bull usually brought to drink himself into a stupor on the poor days that he chooses too. Varric would need to talk to the people downstairs to make sure she doesn't overdrink herself.
"Thank you for coming, Hawke." Varric steps a little closer to his champion. The woman that made off with his and the peoples of Kirkwall's hearts.
"Why wouldn't I come Varric? I have to keep my trusty dwarf safe after all." There was that smile of hers. Long and toothy it takes up much of the lower half of her face. A smile that always comforted their friends. It personally made Varric feel like he could do anything.
"I don't know. After one round with an immortal, undead magister oneself tends to have enough." Varric jokes, half meaning his words. His first job was to his friends. To keeping what remained of them safely and out of harm's way. His second was to be the scoundrel dwarf of the inquisition. The one who hid Hawke, the red lyrium, and so many other secrets from the inquisitor's forces. Hawke was the toughest person Varric had ever known so the night he saw her break apart Varric swore he would never allow it to get that bad again.
No one should go making deals with demons.
"You should know it takes more than one round for me to run off fearful."
"No, it just takes almost getting pierced by the Arishok's sword." Varric jokes recalling a scene from memory that had terrified him. That day had shaken him to his very soul. Or perhaps it was to the very stone for him. A difficult thing to prove, if dwarfs had souls or stones.
"Hey, that was gigantic. Plus I was out there on my own." Edyiss argues spreading her hands out to show the length. Her arms did not reach far enough to accurately describe the size of that sword.
"Well, you didn't have to if you hadn't accepted his challenge." Varric points out.
"What was I supposed to say? Nah I'm gonna have my friends fight your friends while I still have to fight you."
Varric raises his hands in defense. "Alright, alright. Good point." He lowers his hands and looks over the inquisition from their perfect place on top of the barracks.
"So where does the mighty inquisition have me resting tonight?" Hawke asks not really seeming to care.
"In my room actually. It's right above the inn." Varric turns around to leans his back on the stones.
"In the attic, with that blonde boy."
"Oh, so you've met Cole. He's a nice kid, Hawke."
"I think I will have to find different lodging for tonight." Her voice sounds wary at the thought.
"He's not so bad once you get to know him. Sure he is a little creepy at first, but he's a good kid. Besides my room is behind us. It is a room above the inn itself. No Cole." Varric promises her. That seems to get Hawke to relax a little. "Don't worry I can have them bring up a second bed," Varric assures her.
"Varric if that was a problem I probably wouldn't have stolen your bed back at the hangman so many nights." Hawke shrugs as she reminds him of the many drunken nights she or her and Daisy had stolen his bed from him.
"Then perhaps I need another one brought up for me."
"Most likely." Hawke teases though they both knew she didn't really mind sharing. Hawke had shared a bed with most of her friends before. At least once. Varric would never forget the night he visited Hawke's mansion just to find her and Aveline asleep in Hawke's bed with the giant mabari dog between them. Spying a few bottles on the floor by the bed Varric found the culprit and left.
"Well, I'm tired now. It was a long journey Varric. Care to show me to your room?"
Varric offers her his arm. As she loops her own through his Varric leads her around the bin towards his humble abode.
"It's not much, but it is at least private. Though the occasional prying eye does take a look at my letters. Only if she can get to them before me." Varric explains as he shows her his messy bedroom. There was a bed in the center with a desk to its side. Two chairs beside it as if he was expecting a guest any moment to look over his work. In a way, he supposed he was. Despite the size of the inquisition, it was incredibly lonely here. His crowds were larger but his close friends less. Varric would never deny that Blackwall was a decent fellow, and Sera plenty of fun, none were as close to him as Hawke and their friends had been.
"If you are tired feel free to rest. I am going out to the hall to see what the plans for tomorrow will be."
"Alright, goodbye." Hawke dismisses him without a second of hesitates.
Varric left his champion with a heavy heart. Tomorrow the inquisitor would most likely want to head out to confront the grey wardens. Bringing Hawke along with them. Varric needed to make sure that the inquisitor planned to bring him along as well. For Varric did not want Hawke to be out there on her own for this one. Since he was the only one here it was his job to watch after the friend Aveline and Carver left entrusted to him. When Varric wrote Hawke he had written them too, in case his first letter did not make it to its recipient. Carver was angry to find out Varric was asking Hawke to come to the Inquisition. Aveline had a calmer approach. Apparently, the two were together during the whole mess.
When the writer found the soul he sought his sentiments were shared. The inquisitor did not want to take Hawke anywhere without Varric. The reasoning behind the good news being that none of them knew Hawke as well as Varric did. So if something were to happen with a newly no one knew other then say one individual then it would always be wisest to bring that individual along. A sound point that Varric was pleased to not argue against. Apparently, there would be some protest as to who else joins the trip. For the other allies had already brought forth concerns and requests. Not everyone would be as happy as he was, but perhaps enough would be satisfied.
Varric was never one to run unless his life was on the line. Since tonight was a clear night about inquisition's forces Varric took a pleasant stroll back to the tavern. He hardly ever touched much when it came along to alcohol. For Varric learned young from his mother that addling the brain did little to help you in the long run. Perhaps that is why even though Aveline was the babysitter for the children during the day, Varric always watched after everyone at night. When even the ole captain of the guards could take a break and relax. Still through the tavern was the shortest way to his room. He considers grabbing a glass for Hawke yet thought better of it. If she were asleep then there was no real need to wake her. Varric stops by the bar anyways to let them know not to let Hawke have too many of The Iron Bull's specials. Then he continues on his short journey.
As he reaches the attic of the tavern, Varric expects to see Cole. The blonde spirit had recently gained a notoriety for messing with new guests. Apparently, Hawke had already made his acquaintance. An encounter Varric felt positive did not go well without him there to stop warn either of his friends when to stop.
"Varric." Cole whispers his name as the kid appears behind Varric's back.
"By the maker Cole! You nearly scared me." Varric shakes his head to clear his fight or flight response. It was just Cole.
"There's a demon here," Cole whispers looking up through the roof. Words mutter free from Cole's mouth. Mutterings that Varric could not understand.
"What do you mean there's a demon here?" Varric asks wondering why hadn't the guards signal for danger already then.
"It was resting. I didn't sense it. I need to get rid of it before it hurts someone." Cole insists his volume raising. His words were clearer now, and already the boy was pulling his daggers free.
"Shit kid, are you serious?" The look Cole gives him was enough. He didn't understand what joking was.
"Hang on I'm coming with you." Varric pulls Bianca from his back and holds the weapon close to him. "Lead the way kid."
"It's in your room." Leaving the words to echo in Varric's head Cole disappears from site.
Varric was left befuddled for just a moment. When he could think properly about what Cole said that meant there was a demon after Hawke. As soon as that thought registers in his mind Varric feet were moving without having to be told. He slams the hatch up and runs the short distance from the barracks above the tavern to his room. Varric kicks the door open before his mind even registers to open it properly.
"Hawke!" He shouts her name hoping to wake her up so there was another hand in this fight, but instead, Varric is meant with an unfamiliar sight. The room was eerily red as smoke floats at foot level around the room. On his bed lies the familiar form of Hawke. Or rather above it. Her body was floating in mid-air. Her hair glowing a dark red as her teeth grind together.
"Hawke!" Varric shouts louder this time. He had to wake her up. Mages were vulnerable to demons in their sleep if this was happening right now. If the possession had just started maybe he could save her.
Varric was no fool. He clings to Bianca tightly as he bounds over to the bed. With little effort, Varric was standing on the edge of his mattress. Bianca dangling by his side in one arm as he reaches for Hawke with his other. He could almost reach her ankle. As he was about to jump a soft hand stops him. It was freezing to the touch, and Varric knew it was cold.
"Don't touch her. The demon could pull her in. You have to fight it in the fade. I can fight it." Cole explains as he reaches for Hawke's floating form.
"Bloody hell kid I am not about to let you deal with this on your own! That's my friend! I am going to help her!" Varric exclaims as he pulls his hand free from Cole's grasp. Varric grabs onto Hawke's lower leg and pulls her body down. She felt as light as a feather as she fell before him. Strands of her hair float about as Varric moves to hold her body down. He shouts for Cole to go get Cullen before he lost all vision and the room went dark.
His sense of hearing came back before his sight. In those few seconds of blindness, Varric could only hear the voice of Hawke. She sounded furious. There was the same might and power in her voice as there had been the day she fought the Arishok. Yet Varric could hear fear hidden under all of her false bravadoes. Hawke was scared and she needed him. A laughter fills the room that Varric could only imagine was the voice belonging to the demon.
He has to fight to open his eyes. The light was brighter than he had expected to face in this fight. Since when was the fade so bright? It was truly moments like this that made Varric happy to be a dwarf. Despite all the cultural problems, and there were plenty, at least they did not have to deal with the fade every night like humans and elves.
"Hawke!" He calls out her name. Yet it was only when she asked him to stand that he realized he was on his back. Varric rolls onto his side before pushing himself up. He could feel something gathering up in his arm hair. He looks down to see he was on a very dry mound of dirt and sand. The fade was in the minds of others, and it was still a dirty shithole.
Varric covers his eyes as he looks about. At the bottom of the mound was Hawke fighting what was very clearly a rage demon. The fucker was big, bigger than the Arishok. It's flowing form standing straight as the hues in its outer layer changes colors. Hawke had fought plenty of demons before, but why was this one so much bigger compared to the others they have faced. Varric searches only for a minute before spotting his Bianca lying on the ground right beside where he had been moments before. Varric loads her up and shoots one arrow straight through the demon.
It was a warning shout meant only to pull it's attention away from Hawke. Yet the demon was still fixated on her. It moves through her flames, and ice without hesitation. In an attempt to run down the mound Varric's feet end up sliding down the side of it instead. He loads Bianca again as he struggles to keep his balance up. "Hawke duck!" Varric orders as he shoots over Hawke's head into the demon's chest.
"Varric, stay back. You shouldn't be here." Hawke pushes him away as soon as he reaches the bottom of the mound. Varric lands on his butt and releases another arrow into the demon.
"Want do you mean Hawke? I'm not leaving you behind." Not to mention he had no idea how to even escape here. "You need to wake up. This is a dream, and it's winning in the real world." Varric informs her as they dodge one of the demon's attacks.
"What do you mean?" Hawke's eyes grow wide as Varric explains the scene he happened upon with Cole.
"You need to wake up now Hawke. I can't lose you, not like this. Carver would kill me." Varric adds with a hollow laugh. Yet he wants to plea like a lovesick fool for her to wake up and live. If he were to be trapped in here, which maker he hopes isn't true, at least she could escape. Perhaps waking her up would let them both escape.
"It's too lake Varric!" Hawke cries out as she raises her arms to bring forth a lightning bolt.
His heart breaks. "What do you mean?" He asks loading up Bianca and releasing one of his more powerful attacks.
"I already made a deal with it!" Hawke yells as the demon comes surging forth.
No. She couldn't have. She wouldn't have. Varric tries to convince his ears that what they heard was a lie, but his mind is tossed back to the night he walked in on her and the wrath. He wants to get angry. To yell and shout about how she said she wouldn't, but did she ever really agree not to. Yes, she may not have made a deal with that demon, but she had made one with another. If the inquisition finds out Cassandra and Cullen would have her killed.
"Move!" Varric orders instead as he charges at the demon.
"Varric, stop."
"Edyiss I don't care if you made a deal. All I need is for you to wake up right now." Varric can hear his own voice. He knew how cold it must sound to her. How awful it must feel, but her feelings were not his concern. Keeping her alive was the main objective. The demon, the deal, if they could survive tonight then it could be a problem for another day.
"Open your eyes bird." A voice echoes throughout the area causing Varric to miss his next shot. "Soar up, escape. Run." That voice was Cole. At least the boy didn't seem intent on killing her now.
"Varric! I'm sor-" Edyiss' voice was cut off as Varric's vision grows dark again.
As soon as Varric could feel his fingers he was pushing himself up. When he was sitting up on his knees he wipes his face almost peeling his eyes open. He was back in his room. Hawke was underneath him. Her face was pale but other than that everything seemed to be normal with her. Her breathing was steady, her eyes were slowly opening. Varric hovers above her, watching her every move as she wakes up. Cole was beside the bed. His daggers were still in his hands but he was less tense. Varric thought the fight was over until Cole said the last thing VArric thought he would.
"You're an abomination," Cole notes casually. He said it as clearly as one would say the sky is blue. Not the tone a normal person would use to inform another of such a state as this.
Varric eyes fall back to Edyiss who was still under him. Her eyes look away. She refused to look at Varric or Cole. "He's right Varric."
"How long?" Varric asks, feeling his chest tighten over the question.
"Long enough for it to be irreversible." Her voice was so calm as if it was all so matter of fact.
"Why?" Varric asks. He squeezes his eyes back. There had to be a reason. A way to make sense of this mess.
"I'm sorry Varric." Was her only reply. Sorry, won't save her. Sorry wasn't going to make her better.
"How often does it happen? What happened tonight." Varric clarifies.
"Every night I fight it for control. This was the first time it got so close to winning." Varric could feel her move underneath him. Varric wanted to lecture her. To confess to her. To joke and say how this was nothing compared to what they have been through. He wanted to know why. To see her feel genuinely sorry for this. To tell how cruel it was of her to tell such a mean-spirited joke. She was Hawke, this wasn't a joke. She wasn't anymore sorry about risking her life then she would be about dying. The only thing Hawke feels sorry for was putting Varric's life in danger. That was all he could expect from her.
"Fine then." Varric slowly removes himself from being above her.
"Varric, don't be,"
"Hawke you cannot ask me to not be upset. I wish you would have told me." He admits his face falling as his feet hit the ground. He pats Cole's shoulder and tells the spirit to go and try to get some rest. "I can handle the rest from here. Oh, and please don't tell the others. Okay, kid?"
Cole drags his fingers along the brim of his hat before nodding yes. The young boy disappears before Varric. No doubt he was right in the tavern underneath them. Even listening perhaps.
"Varric where are you going?"
There she was. Sitting up in his bed, covered in sweat, and fear. It was not a sight of Hawke Varric enjoyed. He wanted her to sweat for a different reason, not because of a demon. "I am sitting Hawke and writing. I'm telling the inquisitor that you have taken ill and can not join us on the trip tomorrow." Varric states matter of factly. If she didn't want to speak to him, that was fine, but he was not going to allow the inquisitor to find out.
"No. I'm going." There was that defiant attitude of hers.
"No, you are not."
"Yes I,"
"Can you promise me this won't happen again?" She closes her mouth. "That's what I thought. I don't want you going with them tomorrow. I'm going to pack up my stuff and we are leaving after the inquisitor already has in the morning."
"Varric you can't leave."
"Watch me." He would be damned before he would let Hawke going anywhere by herself in a state such as this.
"I am going tomorrow. You are coming with, aren't you? If something happens you will be there to stop me, but Corypheus is my fault. I am responsible for doing all that I can to bring him down."
"Letting a demon fool you counts as part of "doing all that you can" is it?"
Varric could picture her face falling simply from the change in her voice. Yet he refuses to turn around and look. No this was too much Hawke.
"Yes." She whispers, and that was it. Varric could not stay in that room without letting his temper go.
"Well, it shouldn't Hawke. Andraste's tits, this is too much. What are you saying? That it is okay to become a monster if it brings another down? No. Your life is worth more than that, and you want me to be there so I can bring it to an end when you lose that fight in your head! I don't think I can do that Hawke."
"Varric," a pause. Perhaps she was trying to find the best words to say. Mayhaps she truly was feeling a seed of regret. She should be feeling more of it, Varric couldn't help but think. "You really are my closest friend."
The final blow to what little was left of the aging dwarf. It felt as if he had gain decades of years on his shoulders tonight. He could not keep up the fight. At least not anymore tonight. "Fine Hawke, you win. I won't stop you from going tomorrow, but if anything happens I want you to leave. I don't want others seeing you like that."
"I guess it would ruin the image of your champion."
"No." How could she say that? "I would ruin the image of someone I love." He admits clutching his quill pen between his fingers. How could she think about that damn book now? When everything else was so much more important right now.
"Varric,"
"Stop." He runs his fingers through his hair. "Just stop. I-i can't tonight. Let's just try to rest." Varric begs for a reprieve from all this horror until the fated day on the morrow. Let the morning come and claim all the problems of the dark away for he wanted nothing to do with the night.
She doesn't argue with him. Not so much as a single syllable is shared between the two again for the rest of the night. The hours go by painfully slow for the writer, as he can find no words to write. When Varric saw thin strands of light creep in through his window he finally crawls into his own bed. Hawke had her back facing him, and Varric wonders if she even managed to fall asleep again.
When the sun rays were full in brightening the room, Hawke got up without making a sound. Varric follows suit having not slept a wink. They get ready for the long day ahead having no idea how it would truly end. If Varric had known he would have apologized then. If he knew what was going to happen to her Varric would have confessed his love and beg her not to go. He would have thrown himself at her and insists that they find a way to cure her. To get rid of the demon. Anything would have been better, than the horror he saw when they faced the demon of nightmares. A monster that Hawke was left behind to face by herself. Some may find that poetic, an abomination left to face a monster alone. To Varric there was nothing that left such a vile taste in his mouth. In the end, that taste didn't matter for he knew he was the only person who knew the truth about Hawke. The entire truth of Edyiss Hawke. He better get started on writing that letter to Carver.