Near
sat comfortably on his matress, which was placed on the floor in
front of his small T.V. set. He yawned as a commercial came on,
listening to Onion rustle around in her bag somewhere behind him. It
was a Tuesday, and despite the fact that Onion had just turned
seventeen, she still stayed in Near's room once a week. She heard him
yawn and said,
"Your internal clock must be winding down
for the night, hm?
"Yes," Near replied, "But
there's not actually a clock. It is only a rhetorical figure of
speech." He felt the need to remind himself that this was not to
be taken literally. Onion was used to this type of thing, so didn't
acknowledge it,
"Near, I'm going to change into pajamas,
alright?" Near nodded and continued watching the late night
cartoons on his television screen. After a minute or so, he heard
Onion groan,
"Crap…I accidently brought the pants that
Matt dumped soda on, " she said, "Can I put these in the
hamper and then just borrow a pair of yours?"
"Yes,
that's fi…" he trailed off when he turned to look at her. She
was standing by the dresser, wearing a blue braw with yellow trim,
and blue boy shorts with a star on the thigh. Near also mentally
noted the two barbells above her hipbones, which he'd never seen
before.
"So, I need to put these in the hamper real quick…"
Onion said, pants in hand. Near's mouth went dry as he watched her
walk all the way across the room, past him, and to the bathroom. Once
she'd disappeared from sight, he let out a breath he didn't know he
was holding and tried to assess the situation in his head,
'What's
wrong with me?'
Near thought frantically, 'I
mean, yes, I have always had a slight "crush", as they
would call it, on her…but right now…it's different. Maybe this is
how adolescant boys are supposed to feel when a situation, such as
this, arises…?'
Just
then, his mind stopped funtioning properly as Onion walked out of the
bathroom. Near couldn't think of anything to say to her, but she
didn't mind,
"There we go!" she smiled, "Now for
the clean pair…" Once she started back across the room, it was
suddenly as if Near was no longer in control of himself. It seemed
like he was watching himself from the outside, reaching out to take
hold of her wrist, pulling her closer to his level, and then, without
warning, kissing her on the lips.
It was a quick, slightly off-centered, chaste kiss that surprised him as much as it did her.
Onion
gasped a little, blushing when he swiftly pulled back. Near's icy
blue-grey eyes grew wide as he realized what he'd done. Then,
suddenly, he curled in on himself, hiding his face, twirling his
hair, and making a soft humming noise. Onion bit her lip,
"Near…it's okay, come here…" she said quietly. When he
didn't answer, she sighed, "Don't do this Near…it's alright,
I'm not mad…" she moved towards him, slowly reaching out and
putting a hand on his head,
"Please sit up and look at me…"
After a moment, Near did as he was told, but was unable to look her
in the eye.
"I'm sorry," he said, sounding shaken, "I
don't know what got into me." Onion watched his hands twitch
from lack of holding a toy, so she took hold of the one that wasn't
in his hair,
"Things like this happen at our age," she
said with a small smile, "It doesn't matter that
we're…different, than most teenagers…things like this are
normal." she squeezed his hand slightly, waiting for some sort
of response. Finally, Near spoke in a small, quiet voice,
"That's it, then."
"What do you mean?" Onion
asked, just as quietly.
"That was my first proper kiss…and
it isn't likely that I'll ever be in a relationship, and you're with
Mello…" he hesitated, "So that was most likely my last
kiss as well."
"Oh...Near…" Onion realized no
why he would be upset, "It doesn't have to be like that…"
The
two of them sat in an awkward silence, neither knowing what to say.
"I…I wish I could kiss you again…" Near said, almost
inaudibly. Onion looked over and swallowed, thinking of what she
should do. After a moment of internal conflict, she spoke,
"If…if you want, you can," she replied, "I can show
you what real kissing is like." For the first time in minutes,
Near looked up, his eyes wide,
"We couldn't do
that…what…what about Mello?" he sounded like he was
considering her offer, despite his words.
"You don't worry
about him," Onion said, trying to reassure him, "I know for
a fact that he and Matt have done a lot more than just kiss, which is
all that we would be doing. He would never have to know."
"But--"
"Near, you have as much right as anyone
else to experience something like this," she said, "It
would be no big deal." The boy thought it over very carefully
for a moment, and then…
"Okay." Onion smiled
slightly,
"Alright, would you like to lay down or sit?"
she asked, "It's all your decision." Near shook slightly,
being nervous, and all, but still thought about the two choices,
"L-lying down seems like it would be more comfortable…" Onion nodded in agreement, lying down on the mattress, waiting for
him to join her. He breathed in deeply before copying her actions,
trembling anxiously. Onion moved forward, cautiously putting her
arms around him,
"Calm down…" she whispered, petting
his hair, "There's no need to be nervous; it's just me…" Near felt his cheeks heat up once he realized that Onion still
didn't have any other clothing on. He squirmed uncomfortably as she
watched him closely.
"Near…it's all right." He
nodded hsitantly, surprised when she kissed his cheek, "Any time
you want to stop, just say so, okay?" she said, taking hold of
his hand and placing it on her waist. Near swallowed and nodded
again,
"Yes…"
Onion scooted a bit closer to him,
then gently pressed her lips to his. He was motionless for a moment,
not having the slightest idea of what he was doing, and then he
deepened the kiss slightly, moving closer to her. He was confused
when she pulled back a little, but then found that she wasn't
stopping, she was just repositioning her mouth against his. He was
trying to mimic her actions to the best of his ability, but every
movement seemed awkward. As he tried to think of what he could do to
fix this, he suddenly felt Onion's tongue on his lips.
"Nng!" Near pulled away, becoming tenser than he was before. He tried to
calm his breathing, but it wasn't working. Onion brushed some hair
out of her eyes,
"Near, I'm sorry, I--" she began, but
was cut off,
"No," Near mumbled, "I wasn't paying
attention and it startled me." She sighed and pulled him
close, their bodies touching,
"I believe that you were
actually paying attention a little too much," she said in a low
tone, "What you need to do is relax, clear your head, and do
what feels good." Near blushed and nodded,
"I'll
try…" Onion smiled,
"Good…" she put her
arms around his neck and kissed his forehead, nose, cheek, and jaw.
She kissed him gently on the lips, murmuring,
"Close your
eyes and relax…" Near hesitantly closed his eyes as he leaned
in to kiss her before she got to him first. After a minute, he felt
her tongue flicker across his bottom lip once more, so he calmed
himself and allowed her to slip her tongue inside his mouth.
Though
Onion kissed him with passion, he remained still. Near soon received
a gentle poke in his side, encouraging him to move. This seemed to
make things better; he smiled into the kiss, reminded that he was
with Onion. Onion, who he cared for and trusted. And with that, the
boy started to lightly caress her tongue with his own. For a reason
unknown to him, this made Onion's breath hitch, and she pressed ever
closer.
Suddenly,
Near gasped, and the kiss was broken,
"W-what's the
matter?" Onion asked, out of breath.
"My…my arm got
twisted backwards," he replied, rubbing the appendage, "M-maybe
we should sit up…" She nodded,
"Yea…let's…let's
do that…" She sat up, her eyes bright and awake, looking at
Near in an expecting way. He, on the other hand, took his time
sitting up, stretching, and positioning himself in front of Onion.
"Okay," he said finally, "I'm ready."
Onion
wrapped her arms around him, not even bothering with a closed-mouth
kiss. Near did his best to keep up with her and seem like he was
dominant, but that just wasn't happening. Onion pulled away suddenly,
"N-near…you can touch me, you know," she said, "You
can rub my back, o-or put your arms around my neck, or hold me…you
don't have to just sit there." Now, Near wasn't too good at
reading people, but he had the feeling that she was actually asking
him to do those things, not just informing him that he could,
"Okay, Onion…" he said quietly. He moved to sit on her
lap (something he did on a daily basis), facing her and putting his
arms around her neck.
"There…" Onion said, then
kissed his neck, softly sucking at the skin, "Can't have
hickies…" she mumbled. Near just nodded incoherently, his
heart pounding, a sigh escaping his throat. His eyes were half open
as Onion's mouth traveled to his collarbone and nipped at it lightly,
making him whimper.
Near
put a hand on her cheek to bring her face back to his, and kissed her
deeply. Onion kissed back, making content little moans as she did. As
they kissed, it was becoming clear that this wasn't only for Near.
This was for Onion as well. Near was pulled out of his thoughts when
he felt Onion unbuttoning his shirt. As she got the last button, he
pulled away, panting, his face red and sweaty,
"O….Onion…s-stop…" he said, "We have t-to stop…"
She looked down at him, also panting, with a look of need in her
eyes.
--
Near
lay with his head on Onion's torso, toying with one of the hip
piercings,
"So, when did you get these?" he asked
quietly, breaking the awkward silence that had been going on for 20
minutes.
"Hm? Oh, those?" he glanced in time to see
her put on a distant little smile, "Mello said that it'd be sexy
if I got them…"
"I see…" And the silence
was revived. Five minutes passed before Near heard quiet sniffling
sounds. He sat up to see Onion crying softly,
"I-I'm so
sorry…" she said, not looking at him. He wasn't quite sure
what he should do at this point,
"Sorry for what?"
Near asked, starting to twirl his hair. Onion sat up,
"For
taking advantage of you…that was wrong…"
"Why did
you do it?" At these words, she started sobbing, putting her
head in her hands,
"I-I didn't mean to! At f-first I was
doing it for you, and simply going through the actions…" she
said, wiping her eyes, "Then I thought that I might as well
enjoy it and use it as a way to get back at Mello. But…t-then…"
Near tilted his head as she trailed off, then crawled over and put an
arm around her shoulders,
"But then?" he encouraged
her subtely, wanting to hear the reason. Onion sniffled,
"T-then, when you started kissing me back, I realized how
lovingly it was…and…and how long it had been since someone kissed
me like that," her voice broke, "I…I just g-got too into
i-it and was g-going to see how far you w-would go…" Near
listened to her cry for minute or so while he processed her words.
Finally, he put his arms around her and held her close,
"If
we were supposed to be together, we would already be together,"
he said quietly, "It may not seem like it, but Mello loves you
very much. I should've never agreed to this…but…" he lifted
her chin and kissed her delicately on the lips one last time, "Thank
you…I know we can't do this anymore…and though it shouldn't have
gone so far, I hope that I helped you." Onion looked up,
wiping the tears out of her eyes, smiling slightly,
"Yes…you
did." she hugged him tightly, petting his hair, "Someday,
Near, you're going to find a girl who is crazy for you, and you won't
need me anymore." Near breathed in and closed his eyes as he
laid his head on her shoulder,
"That will never happen…" he whispered.
"And why's that?" she asked.
"Because…I will always
need you, Onion."
-owari-
