Jean arrived at the play rehearsal rather more flustered than usual, and she knew she was not giving enough attention to what was happening. She had only a small part, but she was normally reliable and knew her lines. This evening she missed her cue twice and it was obvious her thoughts were elsewhere.

"Are you alright, Jean?" the director asked as they cleared away at the end. She nodded at him. She certainly wasn't going to tell Robert what was on her mind.

Five years. It was unthinkable. But so was the alternative.

She let herself back into the house quietly and hung up her coat. The walk home had calmed her somewhat and she hoped now to be able to go to bed without meeting Lucien. But that was not to be.

"Jean? Is that you?" His voice came through from the living room.

Jean sighed slightly and went to find him. "I'm just going to bed, Lucien," she said, firmly.

He nodded. "I'm sorry, Jean. I didn't know you would hate the idea so much." She raised her eyebrows at that. He knew her better than that, surely?

"Most of Ballarat thinks we're sleeping together, Lucien. Isn't that enough? Do you have to find someone else to pretend to sleep with? Perhaps you should just invite the judge to talk to some of our neighbours." She sounded bitter, worn down even, and his heart ached for her.

"Jean, if I could change all this I would. I wouldn't hurt you for the world, but I know I have. I don't know what else I can do."

"I'm tired, Lucien. Let's talk about this tomorrow." She left swiftly and he heard her footsteps retreating up the stairs. This was the first night in months that she had not kissed him goodnight. Perhaps he shouldn't be surprised after what he had proposed.

xxxxxxxxxx

In the morning, Lucien didn't raise the subject, and they both walked on eggshells, afraid of what the other might want to do. It was evening again before Jean plucked up the courage to ask the questions that had been going round in her head all night, and most of the day as well.

"So, if Mei Lin divorces you, will the woman you spend the night with be named?" The question tumbled out rapidly. Lucien put down the newspaper and turned towards her.

"In the divorce, do you mean? Well, yes, of course." He was relieved that at least they were talking about it again.

"So it's likely The Courier will write something about it?" she asked.

He nodded slowly. "It's possible I suppose. But it's less likely than if we divorced in Australia. I don't think they follow the divorce courts in Hong Kong!"

"But, it's possible that the paper might publish an article about you being unfaithful to Mei Lin, with a woman in Melbourne?" The dangerous glint in her eye should have warned him, but it didn't.

"Well, yes, they might, but I don't think it's very likely, and your name won't be mentioned, Jean." He got up and moved over to sit next to her on the couch.

"But if they do, all the people in Ballarat who talk about us will think you've deceived me, as well as Mei Lin. They'll assume you've taken up with a third woman." Her expression was so appalled he wanted to laugh, but managed not to.

"Jean, I thought we'd agreed not to listen to the gossip. We know the truth so why does it matter what other people think?" He took her hand in his and she didn't pull away.

"I don't care what they think, really. But your patients might. It's not good for business if they think badly of you. And if they think that you've been unfaithful to your wife and to me, there will be plenty of men who won't want their wives and children to be your patients." She was stroking the back of his hand slowly with her thumb, but unconsciously.

He sighed miserably. She was right, as usual. It would all be messy and unpleasant.

"We might have to just weather the storm, Jean. Once we're married all the talk will die down."

Jean took a deep breath. She knew she was going to regret this, but she still needed to say it.

"I think it might be best, Lucien, if I were the woman named in the divorce. At least that's nearer to the truth. It's more believable than a stranger spending a night with you." She held his gaze, refusing to look away. She was determined not to feel ashamed of loving him.

"I don't want you dragged into this, Jean," he said stubbornly.

"But I am in it already. I'm the reason you and Mei Lin are getting divorced. Plenty of people think I'm your mistress anyway, so we'd only be confirming what they already thought." She gave him a small smile, acknowledging the irony.

He looked so surprised it was almost funny. "You don't need to do this, Jean. It's all...invented. It's just for show, so that I can get a divorce. I haven't been unfaithful to Mei Lin, but I just need to pretend to. I won't have you mixed up in this." He thought he sounded firm enough to put an end to all this now.

There was a long pause, while Jean thought. "But you have," she said. "You have been unfaithful to Mei Lin, in your heart at least, with me. These last few months, that's what we've been doing. We mightn't have been sleeping together, but we've wanted to. I have, anyway." Her voice had sunk almost to a whisper and she had closed her eyes, shutting him out.

He couldn't reply to that. It took his breath away. He put his arms around her, tightly, as they sat on the couch, and rested his face against her hair. "Jean..." He couldn't find the words he wanted.

She ruffled her fingers through the back of his hair, feeling the curls he took so much effort to tame.

"I'd rather do it this way," she said. "It feels more honest, even if it's not quite. Let me have this, at least."

He had started to kiss her neck softly and play with her curls with his fingers. "Let me think about it for a while," he said, and she knew then he would give way to her in the end.