A/N: Second chapter! Warning: I am completely ditching the continuity of Code Geass, starting now. This may or may not lead to an alternate ending for the series. Please bear with me and my indecision!

Chapter 2: Living With Myself

Lloyd Asplund smiled to himself as he raised a cup of tea to his lips. This marriage interview was going very well. Millie Ashford seemed cute and polite. More importantly, her family owned the plans for the Ganymede Knightmare Frame, and they would be his if he married her. He wasn't particularly concerned about whether he loved her or not; he had his work, and if she was really unhappy, he wouldn't particularly mind if she was unfaithful now and again.

Across the table, Millie Ashford was mentally directing every curse word she knew at her family. She had no idea why she was even here. This guy was clearly married to his Knightmare Frames; what did he need a human wife for? If she had to have an arranged marriage, could it possibly be to someone who wasn't a freak?

Cecile Croomy, Lloyd's assistant, stood to the side, her emotions a mix of jealousy and sheer amazement that Lloyd hadn't actually said or done anything unforgivably rude yet. She was sure he'd get around to that soon, however.

The relative calm of the meeting was shattered by the sound of footsteps, which was soon followed by the appearance of a disheveled Suzaku.

"Suzaku, why are you-" Lloyd began, stopping in midsentence when Suzaku ran past him without so much as a second look. The look in the boy's eyes was a mix of emptiness and panic that reminded him of the way he'd looked after Narita.

Suzaku ran into one of the supply closets along the side of the room just as another person entered the room. He was dressed in the same school uniform as Suzaku, but had sharper features, as well as raven-black hair and violet eyes. Something about him tugged at Lloyd's memory.

Millie stood up abruptly, her blue eyes wide. "Lelouch?" she asked in surprise.

That name turned the tug on Lloyd's memory into a pull. That name was familiar, but from where…?

The boy, Lelouch, reached the supply closet just as its door shut. He collapsed to his knees and began to pound on the door.

"D-it, Suzaku!" he shouted.

Millie froze where she stood. Did Lelouch even know where he was? Was he trying to attract the Brittainian government's attention? She glanced nervously at Earl Asplund. He was a noble, and had probably met Lelouch before he was exiled. Would he recognize him?

Lelouch, ignorant of the others' presence, continued banging on the door. "Suzaku!" he yelled again. "Open the door!"

"Go away," Suzaku said. His voice, muffled by the door, was completely devoid of emotion.

Lelouch sat up, leaning on the door and wrapping his arms around his knees.

"I know that none of this is my business," Lelouch said carefully. "None of that was for my ears. And you know I won't tell anyone." He allowed himself a short, bitter laugh. "If I've kept my own secrets for this long, I can certainly keep yours."

Suzaku remained silent.

"But you can't keep blaming yourself," Lelouch continued. "What you did was unthinkable. But you did it because, at the time, you believed it to be necessary. And no matter how much you regret them now, your actions can't be taken back."

"I know that," Suzaku said softly.

"Do you?" Lelouch asked. "Mao said you have a death wish. I don't doubt it after seeing you today, acting as recklessly as you did. But even if you were to die, would that really change anything, or make up for any of the things you've done? It wouldn't. And there would be people who would miss you." Lelouch paused. "I would miss you."

"Suzaku, you never take the easy way out. But that's what dying would be. The most difficult thing is to continue living, no matter how much it hurts to do that."

It was Lelouch's turn to fall silent as he thought about the guilt he himself carried. He had killed many people as Zero, and while some deserved death, others had been innocent, like Shirley's father. There was also Clovis, who, while certainly not innocent, was his brother. And yet, he had killed him. And if he wanted to travel down the path he had chosen, he would eventually commit the same sin as Suzaku. Not in the name of peace, but in the name of revenge.

"Lelouch, I'm…I'm horrible," Suzaku said, his voice rough. "I keep trying not to think about it…but it's all I can think about. How can I…how can I live with myself?"

"Suzaku, I've never said this to you before, but you are probably the strongest person I know, myself included," Lelouch said. "I know you can do this."

"Really?" Suzaku asked.

"Trust me," Lelouch said.

"…okay," Suzaku said.

"Suzaku, we all but skipped school today, and even if it's normal for me to do that, it's unusual for you," Lelouch said. "Come out, and we'll go back."

The supply closet door let out a pneumatic hiss as it opened. Suzaku offered Lelouch a sheepish smile. Lelouch offered a hand in return.

Lloyd watched all of this with mounting confusion. What on earth could Suzaku, of all people, have done that was so horrible? Stepped on a plant? And why did Lelouch look so annoyingly familiar? All of this was giving him a headache.

Then, suddenly, it hit him. He remembered where he'd seen Lelouch before.

"Lelouch Vi Brittainia…" he breathed.

A/N: ….Long chapter, huh? The next one will be shorter, I promise. I'll try to update soon, so please review.