So, HI! HI! I will now announce the winner of the virtual cookies...drum rollIS...AColdSky! You get a whole platter of warm virtual cookies, all shapes and assortments! And Alex insisted that I bake cookies for the rest of you reviewers, so you guys get a PLATE of cookies. :D (and yes, it WAS Thor and Ashley.) So...yeah!

Alex: MaskedHeart never did bake cookies for ME.

Alex, just say the disclaimer. I'll give you a doughnut.

Alex: OOH! Okay! MaskedHeart doesn't own Hannah Montana, she only owns the plot of this story and me...kinda. Can I have my doughnut now?

SIKE! You just get a cookie, Alex. I'm giving out doughnuts in the next chapter.

"La, dee dum…la, la, la…"

You know, this is pretty easy. I mean, really! Putting water in a pot, and turning the heat all the way up! And furthermore, the macaroni box has INSTRUCTIONS on it! Woo hoo! Now, let's just see if I can get it open…Mmphft. Must. Get. Open. Must…get…OPEN. Open sesame! Abra Cadabra! Mucus Toehoocus? Darn macaroni…I must get it open! My life depends on it! Open, you stupid piece of cr-

"Oh, FIGS." I exclaimed. Pieces of uncooked pasta lay scattered all over the floor.

Even the little cheese powder packet had burst open. How had the little cheese powder packet burst open? Really, wasn't that the reason for the sealed tight guarantee?

Hmph! This is a tragedy! Macaroni companies aren't following through with their promises, such a shame. I'll just have to use my lawyer power and SUE THEM! Heh. Lawyer Power. That almost rhymed. Maybe that'll be my Plan B occupation if I ever get fired from Thor and Dewitt. I'll live in a little cabin by the side of a country road, and a little stream will be burbling through, making music to my ears. Music…music to my ears. Hum, funny. I almost hear the burbling right now. Wait, WHY do I hear burbling? Oh, FIGS. The pot thing! There are bubbles, and it looks extremely dangerous. Funny, aren't bubbles supposed to be all puffy and pink and stuff? Maybe it won't hurt if I take the lid off. Just, uh…just carefully approach the pot from a different angle. Muster up all your courage, and interrogate it!

"Pot, WHY are you bubbling? Huh? Huh? Yeah, I said it, homie sizzle! WHY YOU BUBBLING?!" I tried out my gangster voice. Intimidation is the key to success, right?

The bubbles escalated even higher.

"Maybe I should take a different approach." I mumble. I really should take notes on this.

"Pot, could you, uh, please stop bubbling up? Because if you explode or something, that wouldn't be good. That would definitely not be good. Please, with no lawsuits on top?" Well, after intimidation there's always begging for the key to success.

The bubbles spilled out of the pot, steam arising from them. I duck quickly, grabbing the nearest thing to me. My client's papers from today.

"Don't explode…don't explode!" I squeak, holding up my papers.

At least this will be my shield when the scalding water cascades over me. You know, maybe I shouldn't be directly under the pot…

Fizzzzzzzzzle.

Oh, shoot. The bubbles have turned EVIL! They're cascading down, like an avalanche of bubbles. I need to dodge the bubbles! Okay, Oken. Time to use your COOKING SMARTS!

Wait, I don't have any cooking smarts. Darn.

Aw, forget the cooking smarts and SAVE YOURSELF, OKEN!

I roll out of the way, sighing in relief as I see that I am safe from the evil bubbles. At least the papers on the floor will help soak them in, so I won't have to use my last toilet paper roll and try to clean it up.

WAIT. PAPERS. CLIENT. IMPORTANT!

"Noooooooooooooooooooo!" I scramble to the papers, but stop short suddenly. I frantically look back. My shoelace is stuck to the kitchen table! How did it get stuck in the kitchen table?

I lunge forward, bringing the kitchen table with me. The bubbles are almost there! No, anything but the papers! Just one…last….attempt! My fingers are outstretched to the limit, my face grimacing…when I grab hold of the papers! I hear faint bangs, booms, and babooms, but I'm too relieved to care. I finally have the papers! Yes!

My brow furrows as I hear a crackling sound, getting louder, and louder…

I turn around, and see the huge basket of soaps my next-door neighbor Mrs. Higgins gave me. It looks scary.

Has EVERYTHING TURNED EVIL?

I feel a numb sensation on my hands, and squeal in pain. The bubbles have reached their destination!

Aw, figs. This will be my fate, I guess. Stuck in my kitchen, with evil bubbles burning through my skin and a soap basket hurtling toward me. Well, at least I'm not dying under an avalanche of papers in my office. That would suck, considering that my desk is really messy. Hmmm. I'm bored.

How am I bored? I'm about to DIE!

Suddenly, I see gray smoke rise up to the ceiling.

"Oh…shiz."

Did I ever get that smoke detector installed? was my last thought before the soap basket fell.

Ooh, why do I see all these pretty colors? There's a purple swirly near me. Purple is a pretty color. There are so many colors around me! Pretty, pretty colors...Lookee! There's a pretty green swirly floating by me! Wait...did I just see a roll of supersized toilet paper rolls? I need those! I'll just use my arms and swim toward the toilet paper...I said, I'll just USE MY ARMS TO SWIM TO THE TOILET PAPER. Hey! Arms, swim! ...Why won't my arms swim? Okay, I'll just have to use my legs...where are my legs? Where are my arms? OH MY GOSH, I'M A GIANT BLOB!

"Oliver?"

I don't want to be a giant blob! How will I head to work? Oh no...the toilet paper is floating away! NO!

"Oliver..."

The toilet paper is calling out to me. Funny, why is Santa Claus's face on the toilet paper? Now that's just sick and wrong on so many levels...

"Oliver, will you open your eyes?"

...Someone is stroking my forehead.

I open my eyes, and quickly close them. The light is almost blinding.

"Well, ma'am, he'll be okay." I hear a low melodic voice.

"O-okay, thank you so much, Doctor!"

"Don't mention it."

I open my eyes tentatively. Oh, there's that secretary from work! Becca...Weller, I think.Her back is turned to me, and she seems to be writing in a notepad. Hmm. I'm suddenly craving for some macaroni.

"Becca...?"

She turns around quickly, and her face lights up at the sight of me. "Oliver! Thank goodness you're alright!"

"W...what happened?"

"Oh, um. I live right across the hall from your apartment, and I was just relaxing and reading a book when I heard a crash from your place. So, I opened the door, and I saw smoke coming through the door. So then, I, uh, called 911 and then opened your door to see if you were alright..." she trailed off.

Wait...Becca lives in the apartment across me?

"...And, well...I saw you sprawled on the floor with a soap basket practically crushing you, and I saw this huge fire on your stove. So, I pushed off the soap basket and had to kind of push you to my place, where I laid you down on my couch and waited for ER people to arrive."

I'm shocked. Becca did all of this for me?

"T-thank you." I stutter, and look into her shy green eyes.

"Don't worry about it, it's okay." she looked down at her shoes.

I smiled at her warmly. "So, do you want to..." I look at my watch. 6:34. "...catch some dinner with me?"

"You don't have to repay me or anything, Oliver. Like I said, it's...fine." she said quickly, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

"No, I really want to take you out to dinner. Seriously."

"Oh...well, okay. I accept."

"So it's a date then. C'mon!" I hold out my arm to her and she takes it, smiling widely.

Wow, I've never really seen Becca like this before.

HMLOLLIEHMLOLLIE

"Truscott, Truscott, Truscott. What in the world have you done?"

I gulp. "Uh...what do you...mean?" I grin feebly at Alex, who just glares at me.

"You've caused one of our best chefs to trip, and now she has to go to the hospital, and you've done nothing this month except cause trouble! I don't really think you're up to the standards of this job..." Alex raises his eyebrows and looks at me.

"W-well...b-b-but...I can cook, I swear!"

"Truscott..."

"Please, I can cook!"

"You're fired."

So, hi! Um...yeah, hi! Constructive criticism is good. So...uh, yeah. Hope you liked the story!