A/N: The problem with Slice of Life Fics is that sometimes there's really nothing to do but dialogue. Sighz.

Chapter 2

Jiraiya left Konoha without even saying goodbye, that shitty old perv.

Well, he had made it clear from the start that he didn't want anything to do with me. At least not until I was older.

And that left me with Minato and Kushina, my two new favorite people so far in the Naruto-verse.

I gave them a big smile as I came out of my room to the dining table. "Good morning!"

Kushina replied with an even bigger smile, and Minato's grin was awkward but cute in its own way.

"You two were really loud last night," I added, making sure I was still smiling brightly like the cute four-year-old I was.

And then their smiles sunk from their faces like bricks dropped in water. Kushina's face went as red as her hair. Minato choked on his toast.

"You...you heard all that?" Kushina stuttered.

I grinned. "Everything. The walls are thin, you know?"

But not thin enough, actually. Their door was way thinner. The moment I'd felt the weak vibrations last night, I'd gone and pressed my ear against their bedroom door. It was pretty vanilla actually, nothing like the kind of things I would hear in my previous home.

It might have been borderline voyeurism, but I wasn't going to miss Naruto's conception for anything!

"Ah well," Minato said, clearing his throat. "Kushina and I like to uh...wrestle. I'm sorry if we woke you up."

I said nothing as I climbed up into my chair. My breakfast was already on the table. Eggs with toast. Way better than what I had in the brothel.

I took a bite and swallowed. As usual, Kushina's cooking was delicious.

I relished in the stare that the engaged couple was giving me.

"If that was wrestling," I finally replied, "then my mom must have been national champion."

"Urk," Minato made a noise. "I forgot about that."

I waved my hand dismissively. "You guys don't have to keep things PG for me. Go nuts. Heck, you guys can even show nuts. There's nothing I haven't seen or heard."

"Saki-chan," Kushina said. "That's not the way we want to raise our child."

"You gotta make one before you can raise one though," I pointed out.

Kushina frowned. "What about you? I know we might not be your real parents, but Minato and I would really like for you to be part of our family."

I stopped eating. I wasn't going to lie to myself. My heart fluttered a little. Goddamn it. These two were amazing people. Why did they have to be killed off before they could find happiness?

Well, with me around, that's not going to happen this time.

"I'm incorrigible though. Beyond salvation. I've gone too far into the deep end. You can't teach an old dog new tricks," I said, listing off what idioms I could remember.

"You're four," Minato said flatly.

"That's almost the number of fingers I have on one hand," I said, bringing up my palm to prove the point. "That's old."

"What does that make us then?" Minato chuckled.

I shrugged. "I dunno. Horny?"

Kushina spat out her drink. "Saki-chan! That's not the kind of language a child should be using!"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. The two of you are undergoing physiological changes including hormonal imbalances which increases your attraction to members of the opposite gender. This in turn intensifies your desire to engage in copulation with them in order to create offspring to ensure the continuity of your species."

They were around that age, right? Where adults actually wanted to settle down instead of having meaningless sex. I don't think I ever reached that stage in my previous life.

Minato was blinking at me profusely. "That's definitely not the kind of language that a child should be using."

"Make up your minds already," I groaned.

A knock on the door elicited sighs of reliefs from both adults.

"Oh good, Kakashi's here," Minato said.

Huh?

XXXXXXXXXX

"This is my student, Hatake Kakashi," Minato introduced. "Kushina and I have a few errands to run. He'll be taking care of you for a little bit."

The masked, shorter-than-I-envisioned, one-eyed teenager gave a short bow. "Nice to meet you," he mumbled out, not even meeting my eye. He was slouching too, with his hands stuck deeply into his pockets.

Wow, I've never met anyone so far who exuded such a strong I-don't-want-to-be-here-but-I-was-forced-to-come vibe.

"You're wearing a mask," I said. "Are you sick?"

"No," he said.

"Then why are you wearing one?"

"Because I want to."

We never really got to see Kakashi's face in the anime or manga, right? This was my chance!

I smirked. "I bet you're ugly underneath it."

His lone eye narrowed onto me for the first time.

Kushina lightly smacked the back of my head. "Saki-chan, that's not a nice thing to say!"

Kakashi leaned towards me. He pointed at the forehead protector bearing Konoha's crest covering his other eye. "Do you know what this is?" he asked.

"Duh, Minato and Kushina both have one," I said disinterestedly. "It's a forehead protector."

"And do you know what it means?" he asked again, trying to sound intimidating.

"That you're a ninja," I replied. I showed off my perfect baby teeth to him. "But you must not be a very good one if you don't know all this."

His hand reached over and cupped my head. Kakashi had a really strong grip. It actually hurt a little. Maybe my last reply was a little too sassy? "Do you know what ninjas can do?"

"Shoot fireballs, walk on walls, punch rocks."

He let go off my head and pat it instead. "Good."

"My turn," I said, pointing at my own, very empty forehead. "Do you know what this is?"

Kakashi cocked his head. He snorted. "What?"

"A civilian. A child, no less," I replied. "Which means that it's your job to protect me."

Kakashi turned back to Minato, who looked very done with the situation. Kushina, on the other hand, was biting her lips and trying hard not to laugh.

"I don't like her," the gray-haired teen declared.

"She grows on you," Minato said reassuringly.

Kakashi faced me. I waved to him.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Minato swallowed. "I hope so."

XXXXXXXXXX

"What do you do for fun, Kakashi?" I asked.

"I train," he replied, not looking up from the book he was reading. I craned my neck, trying to read the title. Had he started reading porn in public yet?

A little dismayed, I learned that he hadn't.

"Train?" I repeated. "That doesn't sound very fun."

"It's not. But a ninja's life isn't meant to be fun. It's dangerous. And if we don't get stronger, we die."

Ah, right. Rin's death. And Obito's too. Clearly he was still in his emo phase.

What to do about that, hm...

"What happened to your eye?"

A wince. Still touchy about, of course. Too recent.

"Lost it in an accident," he said, emotionless.

I clambered up to his lap. "So it's just like an empty hole there?" I asked, pretending to sound intrigued. "Lemme see!"

"No."

I pouted. "Spoilsport."

Well, these things took time. And for Kakashi's case, it had originally taken a really long time, especially after Minato's impending death.

Baby steps.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

"Not particularly."

"I'm going to make a sandwich. Do you want one?"

"No."

"Okay then."

He remained in his spot as I toddled my way into the kitchen. I grabbed a stool to stand on so I could reach the kitchen counter.

As usual, Kushina left the knife on the chopping board. This woman is clearly not fit to be a mom yet, I sighed as I shook my head.

A hand stopped me the moment I made a move to grab it.

"So you do care," I said, not hiding my grin.

Kakashi lifted me off the stool and placed me on the ground. "Sensei asked me to keep you out of trouble. That means no knives."

"Just admit that you were worried about me," I said playfully.

He gave me an unamused look. "After this, I'm a little more worried for Sensei."

"He'll be fine," I said. "He's strong and smart, right?"

"He is," Kakashi agreed. "He's destined for great things. So don't hold him back by creating trouble for him."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Hatake-san."

His lone eye glared at me. "You're quite the monster."

"That's funny." I laughed. "I'm the monster? Considering who lives in this house?"

I was in the air before I knew it. Kakashi was gripping the back of my shirt tightly and dangling me in the air. For the first time, I actually felt a little frightened.

He eye pierced into mine. "What do you mean by that?"

I gulped. I hadn't expected him to react like that. Why...

Oh shit. I messed up. Kushina was the Jinchuuriki for the Kyuubi. I hadn't meant it that way, but given the way I'd phrased it...I slipped up.

"The Yellow Flash, of course," I lied. I didn't bother trying to hide my nervousness. Any child would have been scared in this scenario, I reasoned. "Fastest man alive. Single-handedly won the war for Konoha. I hear he's being considered as the next Hokage. And you think a four-year-old girl here is the monster?"

He dropped me. Not that he looked any less angry afterwards.

"You talk too much," he said. "You're only adding to his workload and responsibilities."

"You're one to talk," I said coldly. "Just last night I overheard him talking to Kushina. He was worried about you doing something stupid, and wondered if he needed to keep a closer eye on you. You're the one that's burdening him."

Kakashi froze.

It was a complete lie of course. Minato had said no such thing, though I was pretty sure that the man was worried about his student anyway.

Kakashi obviously bought it.

He stood up and left without a word, leaving me alone in the house with only my thoughts.

Maybe...maybe I went a little too far?

XXXXXXXXXX

"Where's Kakashi?" Minato asked in surprise when he arrived back home with Kushina.

"He left," I replied casually.

He sighed. "You made him angry, didn't you?"

"A little bit," I admitted. "It was an accident. I didn't expect him to be so sensitive."

"He hasn't had an easy life," Minato said forlornly. "He's been through a lot. He tries to hide it, but it's still weighing on him."

"It's not like my childhood's been a bed of roses either," I pointed out. "But you don't see me throwing hissy fits."

"You're different, Saki."

"Everybody's different."

"Kakashi-kun's been through alot, okay!" Kushina snapped. "Just..." her voice mellowed out slowly. "Just be patient with him, and he'll open up to you. It's not my place to say this, but he's gone through far worse than you."

Her outburst caught me a little off guard, and begrudgingly I admitted she wasn't wrong.

"Well," I crossed my arms, "he shouldn't have had to."

Mother died when he was a child.

Father committed suicide.

Best friend died saving him.

Other best friend was killed by him.

Talk about shitty origin stories. Geez, Kishimoto's a sadist, really.

"No," Minato agreed, "he shouldn't have. But things happen, Saki, and we can't always be in control of what happens in our lives."

"But we can control how we respond to it. And Kakashi's being a baby," I grumbled.

Minato placed a hand on my head. "Not everyone's as strong and mature as you, Saki."

He's been calling me Saki lately, I realized, not Saki-chan like Kushina.

I shot him a strange look. "I'm only four."

He smiled. "Yes, but everybody's different."

There was a long pause after that. I found it a little awkward, so I buried my nose into the book in my hands.

"Saki-chan." Kushina stopped in front of me. "What...what are you reading?"

"Oh this?" I raised the book a little so she could see the title. "Kakashi left this behind. I was a little bored, so I started reading it. It's interesting."

"That's a mathematical and physical guide to launching projectiles," Kushina said blankly.

"I know. I've been reading it." I flipped a page. "I'm at the part where they're teaching you how hard you need to spin the Shuriken to make it do a U-turn in the air. Like a boomerang." I laughed.

I wasn't an engineering student for nothing, you know.

"That's right, Saki-chan" Kushina said cheerfully. "Like a boomerang." Her eyes suddenly widened. "Wait a minute, do you actually understand-"

Minato's hand on her shoulder caused her to stop mid-sentence.

"Saki-chan. What do you think of the book?" he asked, almost carefully.

I hesitated, weighing my options. Ah, screw it, let's mess with their minds a little.

"Well, the author isn't completely correct sometimes," I said, flipping to one particular section that had troubled me. I pointed to an equation. "Here, when he was describing the variables for air resistance, he completely missed out on mentioning the density of air. Sure, I get that the density is normally the same, but what if you're in Kumo, where the elevation is higher, causing the air to be thinner?"

Kushina was staring at the page intently. "I don't understand this at all," she announced.

"What."

She stuck a tongue out sheepishly. "I was never good at Shurikenjutsu. That's Minato's thing."

Judging by the thoughtful look on said man's face, it really was. "That's true...most textbooks omit air density, citing it as a constant instead, but...Saki, how come you can understand all this?"

"Because I'm smart."

"And humble," Kushina noted.

"This is beyond smart," Minato said excitedly. "This is prodigious."

Oh shit, I take it back, I'm not smart at all. No no no, that's a bad label and I don't want it tagged to me. Damn it, why did I always like to act like a smartass?

"Saki," Minato grabbed me by the shoulders. "Do you want to be a ninja?"

I gave him the biggest, most cheerful smile I could muster.

"Not a chance in hell."

XXXXXXXXXX

"But being a ninja is fun!" Kushina wailed loudly.

"Really," I said, completely unconvinced. "You guys just got out of a war, can you really say that with a straight face?"

Kushina winced. "Okay fine. It's not fun, but it's fulfilling and empowering! You feel like a total badass!" She pumped her fist into the air.

I turned to Minato. "Are you really okay with her using that argument to motivate me?"

"Whatever works," he said, trying hard to hide his disappointment.

Yeah, his whole grand speech about loving the village, protecting people, and the Will of Fire hadn't worked on me in the slightest.

Save that for when you give birth to Naruto, okay?

"I saw those Genin picking up the trash for their missions earlier. Really gave off those badass vibes. Try again."

She made an unhappy face. "Saki-chan! You're a genius, so you'll definitely be a strong ninja! It's such a waste of talent and potential!"

"Guess what else would be a waste of talent and potential?" I retorted. "Me dying."

"You won't die!" Kushina said in horror. Then she paused and added meekly, "probably."

"What would you like to be then?" Minato asked.

I stared at Minato like he was an idiot. "I'm four. How the heck am I supposed to know my dreams for the future?"

I actually did have plans. I was going to start the Industrial Revolution of the Naruto-verse.

Steam engines. Cars. Assembly-line factories.

I was going to get rich.

But obviously, I couldn't tell all this to Minato.

He'd steal my ideas.

"Right," Minato said, slightly embarrassed, scratching his neck. "Sometimes I forget you're just a kid."

"You'll have to decide soon though," Kushina said worriedly. "We don't have much time before we choose which school to enroll you in."

Right. The Academy.

"I've already decided," I said, crossing my arms. "I'm not going to Ninja School."

"Saki-chan, don't be silly," Kushina said gently. "You haven't made up your mind yet. We've got almost two whole years to decide!"

"You mean you've got two years to change my mind."

"Oh, Saki-chan, you're so smart! See, this is why you're destined to be a great ninja!"

"Not happening."

Kushina placed a hand on my head and laughed. "Don't worry. Kushina-neesan's got all kinds of tricks to change your mind."

And for the second time that day, I felt fear.

A/N: Thoughts?