"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
Tina was obviously puzzled by this unusual response to her confession. She raised her eyebrows, clearly expecting an explanation. Once again, the blonde wished she could read this mysterious girl's mind and see what was going on in there. It was endlessly fascinating.
Bette on the other hand didn't quite realise what was happening. She had blurted a quote out, chosing to ignore Tina's confession, pretending as if it wasn't there. She swallowed, closed her eyes shortly and then forced herself to open them and face reality. It was so strange - weren't these the words she had dreamt of? Wasn't this the very moment? Then why was she reacting like this, denying it? It was simply too much to take. Her life as it had been for the past few years was based on a misunderstanding, on the fact that she hadn't stood out from the first second whilst others had, declaring this girl to be their new favourite. Had they been in a first class together, things might have gone differently. The possibilities were too numerous to even grasp, it was too much. Too much that she had missed her chance years ago. Had she rather not known? After all, nothing would change, they couldn't even be friends.
"Hey, Tina," a voice called from the distance. The girls looked at each other as if they were hoping that the other would know what to say or do. Eventually, it was Bette who broke the silence.
"I think you should go back to Mark and your friends. They're probably wondering where the hell you are right now."
"Do I look like I care?"
Bette turned her head and gazed at the ocean, her eyes averted from the group of friends that she would never be a part of. She hated to admit it, but a lot of the time she wanted to be. She wanted to be like them, be part of them. It looked so much easier. But here was Tina telling her all these things, proving that being part of that group of people didn't automatically mean that you were really one of them on the inside.
Tina sighed, knowing that she probably wouldn't get through to Bette anymore. Not today, at least. She stood up and stretched, enjoying the heath of the sun on her body. Feeling a pair of eyes on her back.
"I hope to see you around, Bette. In fact, I would like it if we could talk again."
"We could do that."
"When?"
"Do we have to have a plan?"
Tina swallowed. Here goes, she thought. "Bette, it has taken me such a long time, such a large amount of courage to stand up and do this. I don't want to risk this little thing we have going between us - if it can be called little. I want to be sure I will be able to talk to you again, share my thoughts."
"We'll see each other around at school. Unless you don't want to be seen with me."
Tina dropped her eyes. "You know that's not the point. It's more - when do we have the time? We could meet in the library, or the canteen?"
"I don't know yet, Tina. Why don't you text me when you're free? It's not like I have much of a life."
Tina smiled broadly, rendering Bette momentarily speechless. They switched phones, each adding their number to the list. Bette saw Tina hesitating at a certain moment and hitting the erase-button frantically.
Tina had hesitated, but decided not to add the "3" in the end, fearing it was too much too soon.