It was so much easier than she ever expected it to be - killing someone. Cypress looked in her brothers eyes and saw the terror, defeat, pain... betrayal. All those feelings dancing and mixing and spinning 'round and 'round in those eyes - the eyes of the only person she had ever been able to explain herself to. The only person who ever understood. And she was about to extinguish the light that had kept her heart beating, when no one else cared.
Cypress woke from the nightmare in cold sweat - less than her normal happy self. She shuddered at the person she was in her dreams, assuring herself that wasn't really her - that was someone else entirely. The dreams had started after their ride on the chariot, which had gone about the same as everything else, only this time with glitter.
Adde had wanted to keep it simple - make them shine without making them out to be something they weren't. But, due to their flamboyant showing when they exited the train, everyone already knew who they were - so, of course, the people of the Capitol reacted accordingly. They're costumes were very different this year - her dress had been specifically designed to appear a soft, simple - almost childlike, with its high cut! - pink tint, and flower-shaped gems were strategically placed along the hem, trailing up into a flame-like pattern about to her stomach. Her brother had matched stylishly, in his simple white tux, though his gems were around his wrists.
Overall, the entire event was a success - everyone thought it went great. Perfect, even.
But Cypress knew better.
Tonight was the interview - and they expected a way for her to communicate, but no one had provided her a means of doing so yet. Adde had not required much information, but when he did he simply handed her a sheet of paper and demanded she write a response. But she doubted that could save her much when it came to impressing the ruthless people of the Capitol. The thought was halted, however, as Peggy pounded on her door, demanding her attention. The small girl pushed herself from the comfort of her bed and lazily opened the door, gazing at her companion in irritation.
"Time to go make some friends!" She said cheerfully and, if she could have, Cypress would have groaned. She didn't want to deal with the competition any more - she knew she needed to, for her brothers sake, but she really didn't know if she would be able to stomach the other participants of this game.
"Come now, you're brothers already dressed and waiting - Adde gave you your uniform, right?" Her accent was heavy - though the smaller girl found it endearing; almost as endearing as her constant hair-color/style changes. No one bothered to mention breakfast - the raven-haired girl had refused to attend any of their "breakfast meetings" due to a refusal to give up her precious hours of rest.
Cypress nodded to her, and rushed to change into the given attire. It was fairly simple - black leather with gold trim. She was certain her brother was wearing a matching one - as had apparently become the custom. The walk was quick - and when she was re-united with her brother she practically pounced into his arms. Last nights dreams had made her anxious to see him, but one glance at his cheerful expression wiped away her fears. She could never hurt this man in front of her. At times, her unconditional love seemed to bother him - but today was not going to be one of those days, apparently. He swung her around, grinning at her as he twirled her back to her feet.
"Sleep well, little one?" Great. He apparently was spending too much time with Spinel. At her disgruntled expression, he laughed.
"Let's go meet our expected team, shall we?"
They weren't particularly impressive. Well, no, that wasn't true. Most of the boys were older this year - closer to her brothers' age - and the girls younger. Not one of them was smaller than her though. Pekin noticed this too, and glanced worriedly at her - for what? She felt a sudden pang of irritation with him, the pre-game paranoia settling into her thoughts. He thought she would cause him to lose his place among the 'Careers' - yes, yes, the members of said pack are aware other Districts call them that! - didn't he? She'd show him - all of them. After the boring rules were gone through, Cypress stomped over to the snares station. Her brother, sensing her mood, followed after her.
"Cy?" He muttered, trying to keep his confusion from showing. She knew what he wanted to get to - meet their 'alliance' - but she didn't care. She wasn't going to waste her first day looking desperate to join up with them - she was going to learn a trick or two before handing over her talents to them. Her sibling, usually so keen on figuring out her plans, was left confused and frustrated with her.
Realizing she was behaving so carelessly, she turned to him, taking his hand and squeezing it in reassurance. He sighed, irritation melting away as she began trying to get a message across. She wanted him to find the tributes from District Two - scope them out, and get a feel for them. She held up two fingers, then gestured around the room discreetly.
After a moment he finally took a guess, "District Two?" She nodded to him, smiling a bit before she began kissing the two fingers in her common way of explaining "friend" - which was really just her lightly touching them to her lips twice, and repeating it a few times before he finally put her request together.
"You want them to be our friends - scope them out, right?" Did she mention she loved her brother? Her cheerful nod made him smile, a genuine, pleased smile. It was slightly unnerving, considering the fact they only needed to be "friends" with them until it came time to slit their throat.
Then again, she only needed to stick with her brother until he decided it was time to slit hers.
These dark thoughts had been creeping through her thoughts so aggressively since they stepped off the train - she was starting to realize something in her she had never needed to acknowledge before: the will to live. It was always there, of course, guiding her choices in quiet, tactful consideration, but now, facing all these people who she knew could never be her friend - who she knew would need to be destroyed for her own survival - her will was roaring with rage. The will to live was her rage, her rage was her fuel, and her fuel would keep her heart beating - just long enough to make sure someone else's stopped.
The dark thoughts startled Cypress, and she quickly shook them away, realizing she had made her way over to the weights station, and was easily lifting them with her tiny arms. She couldn't remember how she had migrated, but one of the instructors was watching her like a hawk as she used the bench. She noticed her brother hadn't followed, for whatever reason. Oh well, she was reminded of their rather deadly situation when he was close anyway.
"Someone's a loner." The voice chimed playfully, and she glanced towards it - finding its owner to be a quite smiley guy. Quite an attractive, smiley guy. His raven hair was dusted across his bright blue eyes, though she noticed one had the slightest green tint to it. Her new-found company had the slightest of grey streaks in his hair, barely noticeable unless you were looking closely - and God knows, she was looking closely.
"Not too chatty?" He questioned, tilting his head a bit as she locked the weights back in place, sitting up and drawing an "X" on her throat a few times before his confused look slid into something of an understanding one.
"You can't talk?" He asked, just to be sure, and upon her nod he grinned again. She began to notice his other features - his face was nicely framed by his hair (probably thanks to his stylist) and though he didn't look as muscular as some of their fellow Tributes, his arms were still twice the size of hers. She immediately cast him into the "trusted" group when he offered her his hand, and it offered the same massive, gentle encasement that her brothers did. He would be a good person to team up with - if she found the Careers less appealing than she already did.
Cypress gazed at him a long moment before shaking his hand slightly, nodding. His face suddenly shifted into a hollow mask, though his eyes sparkled with mischief - just like her brothers did when he knew something she didn't. It was rather unnerving.
"District 1 - Cypress, right?" She nodded again, the slightest of smiles moving to her face. Apparently people were paying attention to her, after all.
Good - she wanted them to recognize the danger in one so quiet.
"District 7 - Terrell." He said, grin returning.
"I'm sorry about you and your brother." He said it as he glanced behind her, and her head followed him - landing on her brother chit-chatting with the girl from District 2, her male companion nodding at something he was saying.
"You're too smart to think they're going to keep you, darling." His voice was soft, now in her ear. "You're brother loves you, but the other two... they'll try to cut you out of the deal. You're too small - too innocent. They don't need you." His voice was urgent, as if he really cared for her safety.
"I don't know your brother, but I'm sure he'll consider it. And what if he does the proper thing, and says no? You'd have screwed him out of the deal - screwed him out of temporary safety." She was frozen at these thoughts - the idea he was right. But his proximity to her neck wasn't exactly helping.
"Even worse: what if he agrees? What if he trades your safety for his? Who will you run to then?" He was clearly trying to get in her head - clearly trying to turn her against him! - but he was right. This stranger, looking at their life from the outside, was seeing the same things she was. He was seeing her fears - seeing them and playing with the idea as much as she was.
"I'll let you dwell on that for a while." He giggled, scurrying off as her mind toyed and chewed over the idea - of what could, and probably would happen. Her brother would betray her.
Her brother would betray her.
The interview.
Cypress suddenly had a million things running so quickly - so brutally - through her head she could hardly stand herself, much less the damn interview. She could hardly stand anyone, especially the blond-haired boy who stood beside her now. She kept a cool, distant expression when they came into contact, so unnerved by Terrells' assessment she couldn't even meet those big blue eyes that had once seemed so comforting. She knew she was being ridiculous, in her heart-of-hearts, but her brain couldn't shake it. She couldn't shake the idea that maybe, just maybe, her brother was setting her up for disaster.
"I saw you talking to Terrell, earlier." Pekin finally said, as they prepared for their interview - they were already dialed up and gorgeous, now they were simply waiting Peggys' guiding hand to lead them to their place among their fellow Tributes. Cypress felt shame. The reason was beyond her, but her face lit up in her embarrassment. She tapped her lips, calling the boy from District 7 a friend, as her eyes rose to meet her brothers. Or, they would have, if there wasn't someone completely new staring at her.
"No, Cypress." Such a simple response. "He isn't your friend; he's going to get you killed. Don't blow this for us." Those eyes, so hard with the calm rage he was feeling inside him - the calm rage that fueled her own paranoia - were shining brightly.
"Don't die for him." He said it so calmly, almost as an afterthought, under his breath. She felt anger boil inside her - everything was so wrong. She was supposed to be home, living a happy life with her family - Pekin included! - not trying to find a way to get around killing everyone and still survive.
It was only then she realized it - the desire to survive. The will to live, though fueling her now, would be content if someone else lived on - if someone else got their happily ever after. But the desire to survive - no, that would never be content with someone else's happily ever after. It would only be happy for Cypress; No one else could satisfy it.
Her anger quickly drained to fatigue - and tired, tired eyes gazed steadily at him as her lips curved just slightly at the corners. She didn't want to die - and was not going to. Not for anyone; her brother, if he was still somewhere inside those cold eyes, would understand. Her Pekin would understand.
So, though her body was suddenly aching - suddenly feeling too weak to continue forward with what she was about to do - she raised her hand, her index and middle finger resting side-by-side,
And tapped her lips, still in their smug little smile, twice.
Pekins eyes turned into a slow glare for a moment, anger quickly bubbling inside him in response to her defiance. She could feel it then - the possessiveness, the frustration, the fear, the anger, and anguish - all his negative feelings suddenly unleashed on her in that one look. That one look made her resolve shaky - made her doubt herself. But she was tired of doing that, tired of giving in to his every whim - she was smart too! She could do this - she could pick her own alliance; she could survive without him watching her every move. She could be helpful.
Cypress was an asset.
The man, someone new whose name escaped her, was a friendly fellow - Cypress had to give him that.
"So, my dear, have you always been so quiet?" Pekin was seated beside her, translating to the best of his abilities when he asked a complicated question that required more than "yes or no". This one, however, was fairly easy to answer, so Cypress nodded, and her dark locks bounced. Her lips were turned into a cute little smile. Her brothers arm was wrapped around her shoulders protectively, though he was clearly still pissed at their earlier... disagreement. The crowd giggled at their little exchanges like this - she had noticed. They had only wasted one of her three minutes, the other two ticking away with an almost obnoxious slowness.
"What was it like, Cypress, when you realized it would be you and your brother against each other?" There was a long pause, as Cypress looked at the blond boy beside her. He looked... sad - her brother, always so strong, looked so sad. Her fingers reached for his free hand, which was resting in his lap, and tangled in his. He looked at her then, those eyes that had seemed so cold earlier suddenly soft - suddenly acknowledging that he was, too, in as much pain as she was. He wasn't coping well, either.
And suddenly she was crying - not massive sobs and snot flying everywhere - but quiet, gentle tears that gently slid down her pale cheeks. Everyone on stage seemed alarmed by this, but the crowd ate it up as her brother pulled her into a hug. Their collective little, "awhh" made her stomach twist in agony - she wanted them to all vanish. She wanted to forget where she was for a moment.
"Difficult." Pekin said softly, responding for her once again. She felt the hand that had previously rested against the back of the couch reach up and pet her hair as she wiped her tears away, flustered. She dipped her head when he released her, shying away from the cameras.
"I'm sorry to hear that." One minute left. She knew he would aim to end on a happy note - so she began setting herself up for something cutesy to finish off.
"On to a brighter topic," So easy to read. "Is there anyone you've taken a particular interest in? A little, off-set romance, perhaps?" Not so easy to read.
Cypress heard the crowd inhale - all together, of course - with curiosity, and was nearly positive every single one of them was literally on the edge of their seat.
It was then she had a fabulous idea.
She tweaked her lips into a rueful smile, glancing away from everyone and tucking her hands in her lap - making herself sit up straighter as she shook her head.
"Oh come now," He could feel her tugging his response, apparently. "Don't let Pekin here deter you." He joked at her brothers' expense. Speaking of her brother, his arm had tightened around her shoulders - a warning - though his face remained calm. He knew her too well.
Thirty seconds left.
She looked at her brother, whose eyes had gone cold once more, and batted her eyes innocently. Tapping her lips twice and letting her smile turn into something of a smug grin. He wouldn't deny her message - not in front of the entire country of Panem.
"She has made a friend," He said vaguely, but was urged on by their new friend. "But she's not giving any names until we get into the arena." He was smug then, as he finished the statement. She could feel it radiating off him. The crowd started to howl in disagreement, but the buzzer cut them off.
Cypress covered her mouth, mimicking what would have been laughter if she could have managed it.
If they weren't so keen on killing her, she might have actually liked the Capitol.
Cypress sat by as the other contestants took their turns - paying extra special attention to Terrells, but noticing he never mentioned having so much as spoken to her. It was probably better that way - her teammates wouldn't appreciate him trying to weasel in on their plans.
Her teammates.
Emerald eyes glanced over, looking at the pair from District 2. The girl was a giant, compared to the smaller girls own stature, but she was boney - frail, sickly. It was surprising, to say the least. The members of District 2 were usually as prepared for the games as her own District - which left her with the question: Who is this girl?
What kind of life had she had, that led her to be so unprepared for a fight? A soft one, possibly. One where she had never dreamed of having her name drawn - where she was content. A long trail of coughs from the girl, confirmed her earlier thoughts - the wheezing sound showed she was weak from some illness - but was she weak enough to be taken out in the very beginning? As if sensing her thoughts, the girl looked over, golden eyes narrowed with the slightest glimmer of determination, and Cypress knew the answer.
The male, following his partner's gaze, landed on her and she offered the slightest of smiles, waving innocently. He looked very relaxed - very calm. His eyes matched her own in their greenish tint, but other than that softness he looked hard as a rock. He stared for a long moment, unsure as to whether or not he was going to approach, but finally just looking away. It was then she did another scan - one searching the details of his frame. He was muscle - thick, intimidating muscle - and stood between five eleven and six foot tall. He was bald - adding to his military look he was trying to pull off.
She didn't trust them - would never, ever, trust them - and yet...
Her eyes flickered to Terrell, who was sitting alone. She remembered his opening joke, and felt her lips twitch in the urge to grin. Maybe she wasn't the only loner after all. He glanced her direction and her eyes shot off, gluing themselves on the pair from District 4 - who were being very... intimate in such a public place. Her face flushed - as if she had just barged into their room and seen. No, they were the ones doing such naughty things in public! It wasn't like she was a Peeping Tom! - and she crinkled her nose a bit, turning away from the scene as someone ran over to break them up.
"Disgusting, no?" Damnit. She forced herself to make eye contact with him, face still a dim pink. Terrells eyes twinkled with laughter - which only deepened the blush on her face, as she realized it was directed at her. He'd caught her looking at him - and had realized her attempt at making it seem like a casual glance had failed.
Oh, the embarrassment.
Cypress gave a little nod in acknowledgement to his statement, then lightly tapped her lips, before tapping his shoulder. Surely he had realized what that meant, after so many times of her using it in her interview. His face became suddenly mischievous, and she felt nervousness begin to creep into her. Maybe he didn't consider them friends; maybe he only saw her as a pitiful little girl with no value at all - maybe he was just looking for someones' brain to toy with, and she had seemed like the most likely candidate for it. That would make sense, considering she was so small; it wasn't like she would be any help in any kind of combat-
He tapped his fingers to his lips, mimicking her, before lightly touching them to her forehead.
"Friends." He whispered, voice gentle as he offered her a sweet little smile. It felt like he was coaxing her to do something difficult, like a mother would a child, the way he looked at her now - so sweet and calm. It surprised her, but she nodded back slowly, returning his smile much more shyly before he glanced back over her shoulder - apparently seeing something serious, the way his smile fell - before he walked away, tucking his hands in his pockets smoothly.
That single word, quiet and reassuring, was all she needed to hear. She would trust him, this mysterious boy from District 7.
Cypress would trust him.
Pekin was not pleased with her. Not one little bit.
His silence was more painful than his words could ever be - the cold, cold distance between them made her heart cry out in agony. It made her want to fall off the face of the earth and never have caused him so many negative feelings. This never would have happened back home - she never made anyone angry there. But then again, she never had to deal with so many choices at home either. It was always simple: Help, or don't help. Here, she had to watch, wait to see how they handled things, before she could decide whether or not to help, back home she just... did.
She saw Spinel heading towards them, an angry look on her face, and stopped in her tracks, trying to take off in the other direction before she could be noticed by the beautiful combatant.
"Stop. Right. There." The words froze her in place, all hope of escaping the lashing of words gone now that she had been seen.
Then there was a bright flash and the sound of someone getting punched - oh, hey, that was her. Cypress stumbled, before shooting forward instinctively, unwilling to let this evil woman get away with doing something so cold to her. Spinel tried to side-step, surprised, but Cypress latched hold of her long hair and whipped her back in place, before ripping her to the ground. As she reared back to get in one good blow, she felt strong arms grab her, before she was lifted effortlessly into the air.
"Enough!" Pekin roared, his anger boiling over at the sight of the two girls so willing to rip each other's throats out.
Then Spinel started laughing. Hysterically.
They had to wait it out, as Pekin roaring at Cypress had apparently set off something inside the older girl that was beyond insanity. "You two..." She giggled, wiping a tear away. "Are going to kill each other." That wasn't funny. The raven-haired girl didn't care what kind of insanity had over taken their mentor - she started to lurch for her again, but Pekin held her tight.
"No one else will even have to bother with you because you'll spend all your time hunting down each other - wanting to destroy each other." She continued on, words slurring slightly. Oh. She was drunk.
"I can see it already - you don't trust each other. You don't feel anything anymore but a need to show the other who's really in charge - a need to prove you're not crazy. Right?" Her words were hitting Cypress right on the head, but she wondered about her brother. Was he feeling it too?
"You're so paranoid - so angry. 'Everything's wrong'. But it isn't wrong - some power, somewhere, has decided only one of you deserves to be alive. I wonder why? What could you have possibly done to make God turn his back on you?" She mused, before rolling over and vomiting everywhere. She made sure not to land in it, but moved back onto her back, drifting in and out of an undeserved sleep.
"Everything's right." She slurred, drawing it out purposefully before humming to herself. It was more like she was completely insane, rather than simply wasted. Maybe she was insane, and the drinking simply made it clear.
Hell, maybe they were all crazy.
The rest of the time flew by - everything was a blur as they prepared for the arena. That's all that mattered now.
Pekin hadn't spoken much to her, after Spinels' stunt. No one had spoken much to her, actually. Everyone seemed content to simply ignore her existence. Which was fine, since Cypress didn't know what to say anyway. But they weren't treating him any better - he mostly hid away in his room, when they weren't eating or training. She wanted to talk to him, sometimes.
She wanted him to know she loved him, but how could you show it anymore? With death so close? Knowing you're alone now? - knowing they know you have abandoned them?
What do you say to the people who have lost all faith in you?