Tohsaka's was sitting next to him on the bed now, arm wrapped around his shoulder. His back muscles were tensed, his face hardened against all emotion and tears. A bit of blood drips into his mouth; had he really bitten his lip that hard to stop from sobbing? Strangely it helped, iron taste in his mouth allowing him to take control of himself again.
He wiped his lip, a speck or too staining a shirt he didn't have to watch, and sighed deeply, hunched over, leaning his forarms on his thighs. The floor was shaking a bit beneath him, spinning just slightly out of focus.
"Shirou."
His only response to her soft voice was a sigh.
"Let it go."
"No."
His voice was harder than intended, cruel almost. It was overly forceful, and Tohsaka flinched; he felt the miniature spasm flow through her arm. Still, he did not take it back. She sighed, and stood.
He would've been fine if she'd left him like that. He could've gone back to his memories, to his fantasies. Alone in his room, he could pretend. But she didn't go, did not give him that freedom. Instead, she kneeled before him, face appearing beneath his. She was too close, unable to put much space between them at this angle.
A soft hand pressed under his chin, forcing his face upward. Hers moved with his, and she was at a less awkward position. Even so, her familiar emerald eyes remained as close as before. The concerned expression they held almost helped; his other would've looked more stern. But Tohsaka was not her. She only looked painfully similar.
"You can take it slowly, but you need to move on and let her go, Shirou."
Why did she still think she was familiar enough to call him by his first name? She'd never earned that right. She was over-familiar with him, barged into his own home…She was undeserving of her face.
How dare she bear a face so exquisite, so like his lover's?
"You are unworthy."
She truly wasn't, everything she had been taking for granted, every rude thing she said, it all hit him like a brick. Dispite her appearance, how could he have possibly compared the two?
The face she did not deserve was now surprised, somewhat confused as well.
"Of what…?"
There was a slight wet look in her eyes, they were more reflective than usual, he could see his own angry face in them.
"Her face. You do not deserve it."
Shock moved to anger. She stuttered a moment, angry voice raised above his, but whatever she wanted to say was not coming out right. She settled for an angry exit, slamming his door.
Shirou was hardly affected. His skin-he hadn't relized how hot he'd grown-cooled back down, and he lay on the back, closed his eyes, and let nostalgic the dreams take over.
He rose at the crack of noon, the high suns rays unable to penetrate his blinds. Sakura hadn't awoken him yesterday, either. She seemed to think he needed his sleep now. She was thoughtful; he wondered just why she'd always taken care of him, even more so than his Fuji-nee.
It took several minutes to simply sit up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He had the urge to collapse then, and go back to sleep, return to his love. Still, he did the responsible thing, thought his feet dragged along the floor and his hair was unbrushed, he went downstairs.
He looked down, realizing he hadn't changed, but did not bother to do so right away. He was too tired.
He caught sight of her while deciding what shirt to wear.
Her, his love, in new clothes. Somewhere in her absence she'd gotten a new skirt, a black, pencil skirt. She still seemed to prefer her shirt loos shirts though, and this one was tucked into her skirt, held at the top with a thin black ribbon. Her hair was down, for once, a rare sight. Honey-gold locks that he adored, falling just past her shoulders, emerald eyes sparkling.
He couldn't move, and his face had pulled into a shocked awe. But she merely smirked; an odd reaction for this occasion. After a moment, she approached, his heart beating fast with each step, until he couldn't hold back.
He seized her by the shoulders, on the virge of an embrace, before realizing who this truly was.
Tohsaka, hair cut and died specifically for this cruel revenge. She smiled, enjoying every bit of his pain as his face dropped into one of agony, before pulling on a look of rage.
"Am I undeserving of her hair, too, Shirou?"
She pulled off a wig, carefully, and her darker curls fell down. Still, she smiled, proud of herself for the well-planned revenge.
He wished his voice would stay as calm and flat as hers, and that It hadn't cracked with pain and rage.
"Why?"
"Shirou, it's not her face. It's mine. She's my-"
Tohsaka was cut off, Sakura had run from the kitchen here to stop the fight before it started. Her eyes were already wet, but she was trying to be strong.
"Shirou, she's right, even if they bear a resemblance, you can't compare her to..you know who, like that!" She paused, taking a breath, before turning to Tohsaka. "Rin, How dare you? He's in pain!" Her motions were somewhat frantic; clearly she'd been shocked by Tohsaka's actions. Realizing her hand was still on Tohsaka's mouth, she let it drop, allowing Tohsaka to speak.
"I'm showing him, don't stop me. I don't know why you tried."
Her voice was cold, rude. She spoke as Sakura's better, but Sakura did nothing. She flinched, and shrank away, throwing Shirou a look he coud not identify; it seemed to be pity mixed with sorrow. Her lavender eyes were spilling now, but no one else was awake yet, and she was left alone, as Tohsaka grabbed him by the back of his shirt and tugged.
She dragged him out the door that way, but he managed to turn take her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks.
"Where are we going?" His face was as stern as his voice, but he had calmed down.
"I'm taking you to my house, there's something you need to see. It's about her."
He cooperated, following her brisk pace. They arrived upon her mansion quickly, and she opened the cast-iron gates. Her face was unreadable, but stiff.
Once inside, she instructed him to wait, running quickly up the steps, into another room. He heard much rummaging, and something was knocked over. She returned in a few moments, a thick, dusty volume in hand.
"Shirou, What's her name?"
His expression twisted in pain, but he took a deep breath, to give Tohsaka his loves true name.
A/N: Cliffy! Haha, not really, since everyone already knows who she is ; anyways, I've been trying to write; school makes it difficult, though…I'm likely about to get grounded, so there could be another long wait before I'm able to submit anything I'm sorry!