Chapter 1: A Sick Joke
It was finally May 20th. She was done with school and would be meeting her father in the coming weeks. She wished she could've met her father under more ideal circumstances, but she was glad she'd finally meet him. She had a lot of questions to ask him. Ducky would be picking her up from school, as her mother was in Los Angeles for a funeral. She then heard over the intercom:
"Alexandra Shepard please report to the Headmaster's office immediately".
She rolled her eyes. She'd already made some visits to the Headmaster's office this year. But then she noticed the tone of the voice. It was not a voice of anger or irritation; it was a voice of sorrow and regret. That really got her attention. She walked to the office. She was let into the actual office by the secretary, who gave her a sad look.
"What's going on here?" was what she was thinking.
She noticed Headmaster Seagram. He was talking to someone in a chair in front of his desk. He looked up and noticed that she had arrived.
"Don't worry Miss Shepard, you're not in trouble."
She then noticed that Ducky was the one in the chair. Just as she was about to start asking questions, Headmaster Seagram got up to leave.
"I'll leave you two alone".
Alex looked at Ducky. His face was filled with grief.
"What's wrong Ducky is it about Mom?"
She could tell that he was having trouble starting what he had to say. She gave him time. He said something to her that surprised her.
"Alexandra, I am so sorry."
Alex's mind began to swim. There was only one thing he could be this sorry about. She wouldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it.
"It was a quick death and she went down fighting, she died with her boots on."
There was only one thing that went through her head. Was this some kind of sick joke that was being played on her?
"I'd rather her not be dead at all!"
She ran into Ducky's arms crying her eyes out for about ten minutes. Once she was too exhausted to cry anymore, she asked Ducky
"What's going to happen to me Ducky?"
"You'll be staying with me, Alexandra. Do you want to go get your belongings now?"
"Yes I do, Ducky. Please give me a bit."
She walked back to her room in a daze. She packed up her stuff in a daze. She noticed that people were pointing at her. She ignored them. She just wanted to get back to Ducky and get home. During the drive home, she said little. Ducky respected her silence and didn't press her about anything. Once they got back to Ducky's house he asked if she wanted anything to eat. She shook her head. She didn't want to eat. Then she started acting funny.
"This is some sort of sick joke, huh Ducky?"
He looked at her. Her face was synthetically enthusiastic.
"What do you mean Alexandra?"
She smirked.
"This has got to be a mistake, Ducky."
Ducky immediately thought, Oh Dear. This was the beginning of the first stage of grief: Denial. Alex was falling into deeply, and she needed to get out of it.
"Alexandra, I can assure you that this is no mistake. Your mother is dead, I performed the autopsy myself."
Alex just smiled.
"We'll see about that."
She went upstairs to bed. She cried again. She knew her mother was dead, she just couldn't believe it. She had not meant to be that way with Ducky; the words had just come out of her. She fell asleep after about an hour of tossing and turning. She hoped that she would wake up from this nightmare.
Doctor Donald "Ducky" Mallard did not go to sleep that night. He would have to take care of some details that Alex could not make, as she was a minor. He'd already talked with the lawyer. She would stay with him. There was one thing that he had not been too happy about. He couldn't tell Alex who her father was until she was fourteen or unless she came into danger of bodily harm. He also couldn't tell her father she even existed. The parameters for telling him were the same. He knew that there was a method to her madness; he just wasn't happy about it. He also worried: What would happen if her father died before he could tell either of them about the other? Knowing how her father operated, that was a very real possibility.
The funeral had gone off without a hitch. It was a good ceremony, and it was respectful. Ducky watched Alex the entire time. She didn't cry. In fact she showed no emotion at all the entire time. She was like a robot. The only thing that made it clear that she was alive was that she was breathing. Towards the end of the ceremony, her eyes turned glassy. He could tell that she was fighting the urge to cry. He squeezed her hand, she squeezed back. As everyone filed out, there were tears silently streaming down her cheeks. Ducky knew that he had to leave, but he knew that Alex would want to say her final goodbyes to her "cousin" alone. But he decided not to leave her alone. He motioned to his assistant.
"Jimmy, please stay here with Alexandra while she says her final goodbyes. I have to go back to NCIS."
"Of course, Doctor."
Palmer stayed towards the back of the church to give her some privacy. But as she started talking, he couldn't help but come closer. He heard the basic goodbyes that were normal for the circumstances. He then amended his thoughts: There was nothing that was normal about this. His thoughts to this affect was further confirmed when Alex said something that surprised him.
"I'm going to miss you Mom."
The only thought that went through his head when she said this was:
"Holy Shit"
"Director Shepard was actually your mother?"
Alex jumped out of her skin. She thought that she was the only one left in the church. She noticed Palmer. She immediately looked around to make sure no one else was there.
"How much did you hear, Palmer?"
"Just the part where you said goodbye to your mother, I wasn't snooping. I thought that you were cousins."
"It's alright if you were. I'm glad that someone else knows other than Ducky."
"No one else knows the truth?"
"So far as I know, only myself, my mother, Ducky, you, and the Director before my mom know"
"You were close?"
"She was my mother what do you expect?"
Palmer stood there thinking. He hadn't known Director Shepard very well, but he had heard the rumors from when she was an agent. Ducky had admitted to him that some of those rumors were true; but he wouldn't tell him which ones. Well at least he knew one of those rumors to be true. Alex was living proof of that rumor.
"Palmer, did you lose a parent when you were younger?"
"Yes I did. I lost my mother when I was eleven. It was a car crash."
"Then I guess we have something in common, Palmer"
Alex came up to him. She looked like she needed a hug, so he opened up his arms. She returned the hug, nearly breaking his ribs. She was strong. Then he noticed that she was crying. He stood there, stroking her hair and comforting her. He'd noticed that she hadn't shed a tear during the ceremony itself; so he figured that she was letting it out. When she was done, she gave him a final hug.
"Thank-you, Palmer. I needed to do that."
"Let's go back to NCIS; I need to get you back to Doctor Mallard"
Once they got back to NCIS, they went immediately to Autopsy. Ducky was waiting there.
"Alexandra, go upstairs and visit Abigail."
"As you wish, Ducky."
Once Alex was in the elevator, Palmer asked Ducky a question.
"Doctor Mallard, she said goodbye to her mother. Now why would she say that to her "cousin"?
"I see you know the truth Mr. Palmer. You are going to have to keep that information to yourself."
"Who's her father?"
"Mr. Palmer, you can't lie about something I don't tell you."
A few weeks later…
It was summer vacation. Most kids would be outside reveling in their freedom from school. Previous summers, Alex Shepard had been one of those kids. This summer was different. Her mother had died about a month and a half ago, and she'd only left the house to go around with Ducky on his errands. She stayed at home while he was at work. She didn't want to go anywhere near NCIS Headquarters. She just read books on flying. Occasionally, she would eat. A few days ago, McGee had brought his dog by, while he talked to Ducky. She played with Jethro the German Shepard, but a smile refused to creep onto her face. She was still having trouble believing what had happened to her. She would sit without moving for hours on end. Today was no different. Ducky got home at his usual time; today he had Chinese food. She noticed that with a smile. He'd been trying to get her to eat regularly for weeks now. She decided that she would eat the Chinese food, as she was hungry and the smell of Mongolian Beef hit her nose; she knew that she could not resist it. She came down the stairs, smiled at Ducky, and tore into the Mongolian Beef once they'd gotten everything set up. Ducky looked pleased with himself. She was finally eating.
"Did you eat at all today?"
"No, I didn't. This is the first time I've eaten today."
"Alexandra, you really have to stop doing this. You need to eat."
"It's not like I do anything. All I do is read."
Ducky sighed. They'd had this argument before. Alexandra didn't eat as much as she usually had.
"Does this have anything to do with what happened recently?"
"No, I am out of the Denial stage, but I haven't gone any further, yet"