Disclaimer: Same as last chapter.
Welcome back.
[Same cats, same place. Crimson carpet. No tea. Onestar covered in dirt and pain.]
F: Hello, and welcome back to Tortures of Firestar!
L: We never agreed on that name.
B: shut the camera off and start again.
O: *groan* *twitch* *groan*
L: Welcome back to Life of a Warrior!
F: Too cheesy!
B: I like cheese!
O: *groan* *twitch* *groan*
F: As you can see, Onestar survived.
B: Unfortunately, we had already buried him so he had to dig his way out.
L: Then, Blackstar decided to shoot him.
B: I thought it was a zombie.
F: So the albino says.
B: I'm not albino!
O: *groan*
F: See! He agrees with me!
L: Let's get to our guest. Today, instead of Brambleclaw's bladder issues, we welcome to the stage: Arnold Schwarzenegger!
[gasps from the crowd]
L: LOL, JK! IJKYYLDH!
F: What?
L: I'm getting my chill on!
B: And what, exactly, is IJKYYLDH?
L: Obviously, it stands for I just kidded you, you little dick heads.
F: Dickheads is one word.
L: Oh. IJKYYLD!
B: And you can have JK and IJK in the same sentence.
L: Dammit.
B: Whatever happened to your 'bleep', Ginger?
F: Ginger? Ginger! You're gonna need a shitload of bleeps for what I'm about to say, Albino. You may want to censor some video, too!
L: Turn the camera off, now.
F: You little mother f***ing, cowhide of a f***in-
[camera goes black]
…
…
…
…
[camera comes on]
O: *groan*
F: *groan:
B: *groan*
L: *smile* Well, as I was saying, I was kidding about Arnold. Nice young man, he is. I remember him when he was just a few moons old…
[enter flashback]
[exit flashback]
L: But, instead, welcome, Crowfeather! My boy toy, if ya know what I'm saying.
[Crowfeather walks in]
Crowfeather: Sorry, Leopardstar. Raping me in the middle of a river as I'm drowning doesn't count as making me your boy toy. No, that job is reserved to Leafpool… and Heathertail, Swallowtail, Whitetail, and all the other she-cats in WindClan. And ThunderClan. And a few in RiverClan and ShadowClan.
L: Except Nightpelt.
Crowfeather: Except the whining little bitch, Nightpelt. And you. StarClan, not you.
L: Am I really too good for you?
Crowfeather: Try, too old.
L: *groan*
F: *groan*
B: *groan*
O: *groan*
Crowfeather: *hesitation* *awkward groan*
L: Don't mock me!
O: Shut *groan* up *groan* and *groan* continue *groan* the *groan* show. *groan* *twitch* *groan*
L: *smack* How dare you! But you're still my sweetie.
O: *groan*
F: *groan*
B: *groan*
L: What?
Audience: *groan*
L: F*** you, all!
[camera shut off with fading 'Ginger' and spilling blood heard in the background]
Yes, it's short. Not even half as long as the other one. I'm not sure when I'll be updating so, please, don't abandon me. I'm trying to update more often... which reminds me... I need to update Lost Island. XD
I'm open to suggestions via Review. Please no PMs. They get annoying. Only friends may PM, otherwise, you get a nice cozy spot on my personal Ignore List.