Pyro: Hi and I feel like focusing mostly on this story and my Pokémon Ranger story, then my story, Eevee's Dark Journey. Right now, I'm gonna write mostly on this and Pokémon Ranger though.

Maniac: You switch around so much.

Pyro: I just feel overworked because of everything I have to do this summer.

Maniac: Disclaimer Guy, it's your turn!

Disclaimer Guy: Pyro doesn't own Pokémon.

Chapter 2

I woke up and yawned loudly. These Pokémon Center beds were pretty high quality. I sat up but hit my head on the ceiling.

"Shitfuck!" I cursed loudly in surprise. I heard a groan on the bottom bunk.

"Red, are you on your period already?" Green asked. I jumped to the floor and kicked him. Green grunted before looking up and glaring.

"Yup, I'm pretty sure you're on your period." Green said nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes and pet Coal, who woke up from the noise. Coal closed his eyes and went back to sleep. I had to buy Coal a portable fire proof bed because the flame on his tail might set my bed on fire. Blast poked her head out of Green's blanket and blinked before going back to sleep.

I pet my purple Pokémon Egg. It was purple, craggy, and somehow appeared with Green's lite blue egg on Route 1. I checked the Pokedex, and it said that it would hatch soon, and I can't wait until it finally does.

I looked at my reflection. Green noticed this.

"You know, if it bothers you that much, I'll get you blue eye contacts." Green offered. I shook my head.

"It'll only turn my eyes purple, and for my eyes to get back to blue, I need eye transplants, but there were no donors." I reminded him. Green nodded and put his arm over my shoulder lazily.

"Listen, once they catch that son of a whore, I'm gonna kick his ass and if any person tries to stop me, I'll pop a cap in their head, no questions asked." Green reassured. I smacked my head against his, causing him to wince.

"Who says you're going to be the one to beat him up; he took my eyes and emotionally scarred me so if anybody gets to punch that dickhead's face in, it's going to be me." I told Green. Green rolled his eyes.

"How about you castrate that guy, break his ribs, and damage his internal organs and I give him a black eye, break his nose, and twist his neck?" Green asked. I nodded. Yes we were morbid, but we were only mildly morbid. We're sane most of the other times.

I picked up Coal.

"Hey Coal, I want to tell you everything that happened to me, but I want to tell you later, when I actually make enough of a name for myself that it doesn't matter so much that I lied on my Trainer Card." I told Coal. Coal nodded and stretched.

"Come on, we better head to the Gym." Green said, pulling off his night shirt to change.

I did the same, revealing my white undershirt, and tugged on my black shirt. I saw Coal go wide-eyed and growl at Green, before tackling him into the bathroom and locking the door. I don't want to know how he did that with no opposable thumbs.

Why is it that every guy that I ever meet is completely protective over me? Even my new Pokémon doesn't want me to change in front of Green, which I've been doing since I've been four and could change on my own.

I could hear Green arguing with Coal in the bathroom.

"Hey Coal, you didn't have to tackle me in here!"

'You were trying to sneak a peek, weren't you, Pervert!'

"What crap are you spewing, you stupid fire lizard?"

'You can't change in front of Red, you idiot! I should Scratch you into pieces!'

"Why can't I change in front of Red, when I've done it for years, you damned lizard?"

'You've been a perv for years! You just admitted it!'

"I swear I'm gonna drown you in the freaking sink!"

"HEY, I DON'T CARE IF YOU DROWN YOUR POKÉMON, BUT SHUT UP SO I CAN SLEEP!" A voice yelled out, hammering on the door. I sighed and opened the door, revealing a scowling black-haired boy with a Spearow on his shoulder, both looking quite disheveled and frustrated.

"I'm sorry about my friend, he's an idiot." I replied, buttoning my jeans while speaking.

The boy narrowed his eyes.

"Why's a girl changing her clothes in front of a guy?" He asked. I froze. Did I really look that much like a girl?

"Huh?" I asked, lowering my voice, "What Tauros shit did you have for breakfast?"

The boy rolled his eyes and pointed at my chest.

"If you want to pretend to be a guy, you should buy some binders or something. You're wearing baggy clothes, but the outline of your breasts comes out a little. Plus, a Pokémon wouldn't have trouble with their Trainer changing in the same room of a person that's the same gender as them. I have no idea why you want to pretend to be a guy, but as long as you get that guy and your Pokémon to shove it, I don't give a damn." The guy said. Blast blinked at him cutely and let out a yawn before residing back into her shell.

I envied her obliviousness sometimes.

"Err, yeah, thanks. Sorry about Green, won't happen again." I told the boy before closing the door. Green and Coal walked out of the bathroom, but Green had three red scratch marks across his face and Coal was glaring.

I turned and shoved my foot in Green's face. Green choked and began to glare and I saw Coal smirk at Green's situation.

"Nice job Green, some guy knows I'm a girl now, so let's just go to the Gym and wipe the floor with the Leader." I told Green before grabbing my bag and turning to see a flash. After blinking the shock out of my eyes, I saw Green holding his camera.

"A picture to commemorate our first day on the journey, what do you think?" Green asked. I rolled my eyes and picked up my purple egg and putting Coal on my head. Green held his egg and Blast rode on his shoulder.

We left after thanking Nurse Joy and made our way to the Viridian City Gym.

000xxx000

"OPEN THE HELL UP!" We yelled simultaneously, smashing our feet against the locked door. The quivering man inside repeated what he said again.

"I'm sorry, but you two need seven Badges to challenge this Gym…" My eye twitched.

"SCREW IT!" We shouted out before stomping off. I looked around as we went over to Viridian Forest. I saw something glow out of the corner of my eye. I looked down and saw my egg glowing. Green looked over.

In my arms was a little Male Nidoran. It looked up at me and purred.

I smirked at Green.

"Mr. Oak, it's a boy." I cackled. Green blushed and glared at me but Nidoran just blinked and cuddled up to sleep.

"I'll call him King. He's going to evolve into a Nidoking one day, and he's my first hatched egg too!" I told Green who just shrugged.

Not even five steps later (technically about 3.569 steps), Green's egg began to glow, and a female Nidoran looked at Green.

And jabbed his chin with her horn.

"GUBWAH!" Green yelped. I laughed at his expense along with Coal and King. The female Nidoran looked at King and gave a little wave.

'Hey bro.'

'What's up sis?"

'Nothing, but who was that idiot?'

I just had to laugh at that one.

'Your Trainer.'

'Oh…' The female Nidoran looked at Green for a brief moment.

'Sorry.'

Green just mumbled something incoherent into the dirt. I dragged him up by the back of his collar and he picked up his Nidoran.

"I'm going to call you Queen, because your first impression was 'I'm the Queen Bitch dammit.'" Green said. Queen rolled her eyes.

I sighed and kept on walking up Route 2. Green followed at my heels and rubbed his chin.

"You know, you're lucky that Queen didn't use the poison in her horn on you." I told Green, whose eyebrows rose.

"Why?"

"Check your Pokedex."

Green read his Pokedex entry for Female Nidoran and visibly paled.

"Although small, its venomous barbs render this Pokémon dangerous. The female has smaller horns." Green recited. I nodded.

"If you got hit with Queen's poison, I'd be dragging your ass to the Pokémon Center to get treated." I told Green with a smirk. I pet King and continued to walk.

Two Bug Catchers jumped out with Pokeballs ready.

"Hey, I'm Ace, this is Damon; let's have a Double Battle!" Ace shouted out. I let go of King and Green put Queen down. We both opened our Pokedex to find out what moved the two knew.

Poison Sting, Double Kick, Horn Attack, and Poison Jab for both of them. They must've inherited these moves.

"Go Caterpie, use Tackle!"

"Go Weedle, use Poison Sting!"

"Queen use Horn Attack once Caterpie gets close!"

"King, run through the attack and use Horn Attack!"

Caterpie ran up to Queen for a Tackle, but Queen retaliated with jabbing him with her horn. Weedle let out a storm of purple needles, but King ran into the attack with little difficulty and also hit Weedle with his horn.

"Double Kick!" Green and I yelled out. Both King and Queen kicked Caterpie and Weedle using both feet.

One. Two. Three. Four. Four times.

The Weedle and Caterpie fainted on the third hit though. Ace and Damon picked up their Pokémon and handed us 200Poke each as prize money.

"Hey you two, don't get lost in the Viridian Forest, it's a natural maze in there." Ace said.

"Don't worry about us, we'll be fine." I said carelessly.

000xxx000

"HOW THE HELL DO WE GET OUT OF THIS LUGIA FORSAKEN FOREST, DAMMIT?" I yelled out to the sky. Green glared.

"'Oh we don't need a map' she said, 'we'll be fine' she said, 'I swear to Ho-Oh it's this way' she said." Green grumbled. Coal glared.

'Well at least she's not indecisive like you are; 'Hmm, should I go left or right? The left path has more Trainers, so it could be the way out, but they could just be training… The right path is mostly empty, but I think that just goes deeper into the forest…'' Coal imitated. Green glared.

I sighed and put down Coal and King.

"Green watch them for a second, I'll find our way out." I told him before climbing up a random tree with practiced ease. They don't call me the Blue-Eyed Aipom back at Pallet for nothing.

Well, now it's actually the Red-Eyed Aipom, but still.

I sat at a tall branch and saw the exit. I took out a paper and pencil to sketch a half-way decent map before jumping down.

Green was now wrestling with Coal and Blast crying with King keeping Coal restrained and Queen repeatedly tackling (not the move, no capitalized 't' means just normal tackling, not using Tackle attack) Green back down. I walked up to Green and twisted him into a tree.

"Can't you go one minute without trying to kill Coal?" I asked Green, who just answered into the bark of the tree. I sighed and followed my map to the exit. Green ran after me.

"It's not my fault that your lizard is goddamned hormonal!" Green muttered while glaring at Coal. I glared at Green before smashing my elbow into his side. Green retaliated by tackling me to the forest floor.

"You are so going down!"

"Can't you stop until we get out of the forest?"

"Umm, excuse me…?"

We turned to see two Lass' blushing furiously. I knew how the situation looked. Green was currently right over me and I was telling him to stop until we get out of the forest. To some by passers it would look like Green was having trouble keeping IT in his pants.

"No wait; it isn't like that I swear!" I told the two blushing girls.

"Uh, it's ok, I mean, BL is more common these days…" Lass answered back. I paled and almost choked.

Oh yeah, I was a guy now.

"Oh uh, you see…" Green stuttered out. I punched him in his chest.

"You idiot!" I hissed at the kneeling Green.

When I looked up, the two girls were gone.

"Hey Green, the exit's over there, get your ass moving!" I yelled at him before kicking him and running to the exit with Green running after me, waving his fist.

Okay, so it's not a fist, but just a certain finger.

Just a normal day of my life.