It was unfortunate that Shane's route home took her past the photography studio; for a while she pulled onto the pavement and sat perfectly still, listening to the gentle hum of the engine. She thought of nothing. She had recapped the events leading up to Jenny's death too many times to count and now preferred, like she did with most things that caused her pain, to simply forget. She took one last look at the studio, taking in the emptiness of the building; the blank walls; the cold floor; the dusty windows, before pushing her foot onto the accelerator once more.
Shane pulled in to the gas station at around 4:30, filled the tank and went to buy more cigarettes. Her cell began to ring as soon as she got back into the car, and for a few seconds she considered ignoring the call until she realised it was Alice ringing. She quickly punched the answer button and threw the cell to her ear, anxious to hear her friend's voice. However in her excitement, she dropped the phone and frantically fumbled under her seat in an attempt to find it.
"Alice?" She shouted, "Hang on. I've dropped my cell. One minute, Alice. Don't hang up on me. Oh come on you little shit, where are- got you!" Finally, she raised the cell to her ear and heard her friend's confused voice from the other end of the line. She smiled for the first time in months.
"Who are you calling a little shit?" Alice snapped.
"Not you, I was just –"
"Never mind that now," Alice replied quickly before gasping excitedly, "Shane, guess what!"
Shane grinned again. She had missed Alice so much. "What? Hey, how come you're calling me on your cell? I thought it was strictly a one phone call policy in the slammer."
"It is but Shane, I'm free! They totally let me go!" yelled Alice.
"What? Oh my God, this is great!" Shane laughed, barely able to contain her happiness, her hand automatically running through her messy hair.
"I know! I'm at home now with the gorgeous Miss Williams. She's made me hot coffee; she's bought me flowers; she got wine from the posh part of the store, you know?" Alice squealed happily. Dropping her voice to a whisper, she added, "And right now she's changing the sheets if you know what I mean."
"Thanks, Alice. I really wanted to know that."
"I've been in prison for months. Months Shane," retorted Alice, defensively.
Suddenly, Tasha's voice was heard over the line. "Basically Shane, Alice wants to know if you're still planning to get your skinny little ass to Hit tonight. And if so, prepare yourself for Miss Pieszecki's fabulous return."
"Can't wait." Shane answered, ending the call with a huge grin on her face.
Turning the ignition, Shane's smile did not falter until she checked her mirror and almost choked on the cigarette she had just lit. She frowned at the reflection, squinting at the figure behind her that had just stepped out of another car. It can't be. Shane's eyes travelled slowly over the dark-haired woman that stood with her back to the former. Surely it can't be. Shane watched the woman walk into the store, her hips swaying hypnotically. No. Shane put the cigarette back to her lips and quickly drove out of the gas station. Shit. No. It wasn't her. It can't have been. Could it? Of course not.
Half an hour later, Shane turned in to her drive and climbed out of the car. She waved at Bette and Tina as she opened the front door and collected the mail that she had missed in the morning. Bills. How she was going to pay for all this without Jenny she didn't know. She was expecting Max to tell her he would be moving out any day to make room for the baby, leaving Shane alone. Her eyes roamed over the house and she could not think of a place she hated more. Everything she looked at reminded her of Jenny. Shane could picture her sitting at the table, laptop open, typing furiously for her latest idea. She could remember Jenny, looking awkward and timid, admitting her love for Shane in the very same place the latter now stood. Shane gently turned the handle of the room that she and Jenny once shared. She had not entered the room since Jenny's death, choosing to spend her nights in the spare room when she wasn't in bed with whomever she picked up at the bar. She stared for a while at the bed, trying to fight the memories of lying there with Jenny in her arms; or hearing Jenny breathing heavily and moaning loudly so close to her ear; feeling her body move rhythmically underneath her.
Shane shook her head quickly, dragging her fingers through her hair and sighing loudly. The closet stood ajar in the corner of the room and Shane could see all Jenny's clothes hanging there, empty and lifeless. She quickly picked up a bag next to the bed and walked over to the closet. She barely looked at the clothes as she threw them haphazardly into the bag, and tried to ignore the bold scent of Jenny flowing freely from the many dresses, jeans, t-shirts and coats. After filling five bags, Shane made her way back to the car and donated them to the first charity store she came across.
"Wow. Thanks," laughed the young woman working there, "We don't usually get so much. And such good quality too."
"I had a lot of crap to get rid of," Shane mumbled.
Shane lifted her eyes to the woman. She took in her long, blonde hair that shimmered slightly in the light and stopped just above her hips, framing her thin waist perfectly; her vibrant green eyes that were locked onto Shane until the former blinked, looking away awkwardly and grinning sheepishly. Shane supposed she was pretty and held out her hand. The woman took it immediately and smiled even wider.
"I'm Lily."
"Shane," She shook Lily's hand gently and returned the smile, "What are the chances of getting your number?"
Lily blushed and faltered under Shane's intense stare, but quickly jotted down the numbers for her cell and passed it over the counter. Shane tucked the paper into the pocket of her jeans, grinning, and left the shop.
Returning briefly to her house, she changed out of the grey jacket and adopted her somewhat frequent shirt-and-tie combo for the evening. By 9:00 she was leaning on the bar at Hit, beer in hand, eyeing up the potential victims for the night. She spotted an interesting girl opposite her and quickly ordered an extra bottle of beer. Like a panther she slunk through the throbbing crowd of dancers, dodging couples that were grinding slowly to the loud music pulsating around the large room. It was not long before Shane could taste the girl's tongue roaming around her mouth; feel her hot, rapid breath coming out in gasps as she grasped Shane's hair in one hand and pulled her closer. Shane wrapped her hands around the girl's tiny waist; under her tight shirt; over her flat stomach, and heard the girl groan loudly in her ear. The girl ran her hands down Shane's back and slipped them slowly into her back pockets, holding her tight. Shane bit the girl's lip hard and listened to the consequent gasp. She pulled away slowly and looked at the girl, whom was frowning at a small piece of paper. The girl looked up at Shane fiercely.
"I just found this in your pocket. What the fuck?" The girl was shouting, shoving the paper with Lily's number into Shane's hands. "How many girls do you have already?" She turned sharply on her heel and marched away.
"Wait," Shane began, but quickly realised she didn't care. She couldn't even remember the girl's name. Or if she bothered to ask the girl her name in the first place.
Ordering another beer from the bar, she spotted her friends arriving and beckoned them over. Barely five minutes past before the whole group were staring at the entrance, gasping and clapping loudly. Shane heard Kit's voice clearly over the crowd.
"Baby girl what are you doing here?"
Alice was bouncing happily towards her friends, smiling widely. "I broke out from prison, Kit, what do you think? Surprise everyone!"
Shane stood immediately and grasped her best friend tightly, laughing and swaying, before ordering the finest champagne to celebrate.
"This is great Alice!" Bette grinned.
"They just let you go?" Tina asked.
"Well they had nothing to go on really," Alice shrugged, clearly enjoying the attention, "Plus there was no evidence of a struggle or anything like that so they just decided it must have been…"
Alice stopped and looked sheepishly at Shane.
"Suicide." Shane finished for her, staring at her champagne fixedly.
"Well," stuttered Helena, feeling the awkward tension rising, "At least it's settled."
"Anyway," Max piped up, resting his glass of orange soda on his stomach, "A toast is in order. To Miss Alice Pieszecki, criminal mastermind, and our best friend."
The group laughed loudly and touched their glasses together. "To Alice."
"Oh my God," Bette suddenly gasped, her eyes wide and flickering suddenly towards Shane, "Isn't that…?"
"Kit!" A voice squealed from the other side of the room.
Shane froze, feeling the hairs on the back of her head rising. She knew that voice; she would recognise it anywhere; she would remember its sweet tone for the rest of her life. Shane could not help it; she had to see this for herself. Slowly, she turned in her seat towards the sound of the voice. Even though she knew what was coming, she still felt as though she had been punched in the stomach as soon as she laid eyes on Carmen.
Her long dark hair swept seductively across her face; her smile was bright and wide; her eyes sparkled as she took in her surroundings. Her thighs strained underneath the tight jeans she was wearing as she skipped joyfully towards Kit, embracing her tightly. Kit was laughing in shock, not quite sure what to do or say next. She pulled Carmen away and held her at arm's length.
"Now girl, I did not expect to see you here! How long has it been? Too long, baby girl, too long. Oh don't you look wonderful. I'm telling you, all these surprises are too much for me. Oh honey it is wonderful to see you. Everyone else is over there if you want to say hey."
Carmen walked over to the group cautiously, her hips hypnotising Shane once more. The latter dragged her reluctant eyes to the ground. This was not good. Everyone except Shane stood awkwardly as Carmen reached the table at which the group was gathered.
"Carmen! What a surprise to see you!"
"You look great!"
"I did not see this coming."
"How are you?"
"I'm fine thank you everyone. I know this must be weird; I mean I haven't seen you guys in so long. In fact I haven't set foot in LA since…" Carmen stopped suddenly, her eyes finally landing on Shane. She had planned this moment for so long, trying to perfect this so that she did not cry as soon as she saw Shane, but even now she could feel tears welling in her eyes and she had to blink them back quickly to regain her composure. She would not let Shane get to her like that again. Simply looking at the woman that was once the love of her life was like opening up a healed scar and feeling the pain of the wound all over again, but at the same time she could barely take her eyes off Shane. She looked up and down the familiar figure, remembering how much she had once loved this woman, and how much this same woman had crushed her heart.
Inhaling deeply, Carmen whispered, "Hi Shane."