It was Saturday finally and I was waiting outside the library for Ayumi to arrive. It was a quarter after one and she promised to be here for 1:30. I sat on a bench next to a tiny tree full of little blue birds. I smiled and watched them flit around in the sunlight. Today was such a perfect day. As I kicked my feet on the concrete below me, my Yami hazily appeared on the bench next to me. I drew my eyebrows together, trying to avoid looking in his direction.
What are you doing here?
"Oh, nothing. Just making sure you don't do anything stupid. I've noticed you have a knack for getting yourself in trouble." He pulled a shiny object out of his pocket and my eyes shot in his direction. I stared, wide-eyed, as pressed the tip of his finger against the sharp end of a shiny, silver knife.
Where did you get that?
"Don't be so surprised. I put it in your pocket this morning."
I don't remember that happening.
"As I recall, you don't really remember a lot, do you?" I looked back down at my feet, biting my lip. My Yami knew I didn't like it when he blocked me out. His mouth curled into a smile as he slid the knife back into his pocket. As he did, I felt it hard against my leg. "Oh relax. It's not like you'll need it. I just like being prepared."
Don't mess anything up.
My Yami laughed. "Oh, if anyone is going to mess anything up, I'm sure it'll be you."
A white car pulled up and Ayumi climbed out of the passenger's seat. My Yami faded away as I stood up and she walked around the car to give her mother a hug through the window. I watched as they exchanged a few words and then her mother drove off. Smiling, Ayumi made her way next to me. "Ready to get to work?" I smiled and followed her inside. I wasn't going to let my Yami ruin this perfect day. Especially not when Ayumi looked so cute, her braid swinging from side to side as we wandered through the library. We found an empty table at the back and took out all our stuff for the assignment, which truly was a horrible assignment, really. We had to pick a scene from the book we were assigned to read for class last week and then act it out in front of the class. After that, we both had to briefly explain the scene with visuals and discuss why it was crucial to the plot of the book. I was dreading the presentation. I hated having to do anything in front of the class.
Once we had everything out, we got to work. She had already picked a scene to work with and was really eager to discuss it. I watched her dainty hands move over the words printed in the book. She began reading the scene out to me and again my eyes made their way up to her lips. I watched them as she talked, so beautiful and pink. She looked up at me and smiled. "So romantic, isn't it?" It was a love scene between the two main characters. Nothing really happened in the scene except that the boy learned how the girl truly felt about him. I blushed when she explained how we should act it out. She must like me if she wanted to act out the love scene.
After that, we quickly got to work on the visual. We decided to make a poster board for the project. It was pretty basic. I mean, even a third grader could do it. I said this to her, which made her laugh. She thought I was funny, and that made me feel even better. We got the majority of the work done, and after an hour or two of working, we decided to take a break. Ayumi got up to go to the bathroom, and I gathered up all of our trash and made my way to the trash can.
She must like me. I can tell she does.
"Ryou, don't do anything stupid. I knew this was going to happen. All those silly dreams you had about her last night." I blushed, remembering the sensual dreams surfacing in the forefront of my mind. "I know you don't believe me, but she doesn't feel the same way about you."
Shut up, Yami!
"No, you're going to get hurt again like what happened with Yugi. Quit being stupid. Just finish the dumb project so we can go home!"
Ugh! You don't know what you're talking about. You just don't want me to be happy! Would you just leave me alone?!
"Whatever. You can't say I didn't warn you…"He left me then, and I threw the trash into the trash can, frustrated. Why does he always do this? I kicked the trash can, and two people sitting nearby looked up at me. I quickly turned away and made my way back to our table. Ayumi was already there, leaning back in her chair.
"So Ryou, why don't you tell me about your family? I talked about mine the entire lunch shift the other day. You must've been so bored. What's your family like? Do you have any siblings?" My family. What family?
"No… Well, not anymore." I mean, I did have a sister. Once. Years ago. She was younger than me and the greatest little sister anyone could ever ask for. But that was before the accident. And I haven't really seen my mum since then. She detached herself from me and my dad after the accident. She didn't want to have any emotional connection to us for fear that something like that could happen to us as well. She didn't want to feel the same pain all over again. And then there was my dad. He was an archaeologist and was always out on expeditions. If he was ever home, it was only for a few days at a time and then he would disappear for another two to three months. And even when he was home for those short periods of time, he was so buried in his work and spent most of his time at the Domino city museum reorganizing exhibits. I was basically alone. It felt like I had no family at all. Except for my Yami, who always seemed to be there. But I couldn't just tell her about him, now, could I? We sat in silence for a moment before either of us said anything.
"Oh. Ryou, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry or anything." She looked at me sadly and I looked away angrily. Great, now she just pities me. She reached over and squeezed my hand as if trying to make me feel better. It worked and I managed to let out a small smile. "Why don't we just get back to work? We're almost done and my mom is gonna be here in an hour."
Ayumi started pasting the last of our poster board together and I just watched her. I was surprised she wasn't more curious. Perhaps she was just too polite to delve deeper. I bit my lip, smiling, watching as her eyes shifted over the different sections of the poster. She ran her tiny fingers over the newspaper cutouts to see if they were dry and smiled lightly. She was so beautiful, so sweet. "Ayumi…" She looked up at me with those sweet green eyes of hers. Before I could stop myself, it happened. I felt like I could never control anything I did, but this time I didn't care. I wanted it to happen. My face gravitated to hers, and then suddenly, our lips met. But it was only for half a second, because she quickly leaned back away from me, gasping.
"What are you doing?" Her eyes were wide and I was still sitting there puckering like a fool. I leaned back in my seat and my face grew hot with embarrassment.
"Nothing."
"Ryou, I'm sorry… I just don't like you like that. And if my parents knew what just happened. Oh I'll be in trouble for sure if they find out." She looked around frantically to see if anyone was watching. I covered my face with my hands. My Yami was right. He knew I would do something stupid. He warned me to just stay focused. I'd give anything to be anywhere but here right now. I got up and grabbed my schoolbag. "Wait, Ryou, where are you going?"
"I'm sorry, Ayumi. I have to go." I turned to leave and knocked over the chair next to me.
"But what about the project? We haven't rehearsed or anything!" People were looking now; watching us. I quickly made my way to the exit. "Please, don't go."
But I had already made my way outside. I ran out the door and kept running for a couple of blocks, not even paying attention to where I was going. I just had to get away, far away. I felt tears brimming in the corners of my eyes and I squeezed my eyes shut, willing them away. When I finally felt like I was safe, I stopped three blocks away to catch my breath.
I really am stupid. I wish I would've just listened to my Yami. Somehow, he always knew what was best. He was stronger and wiser than I could ever even hope to be. I wish I could know how he does it. How he just shuts off his emotions and acts so tough.
When I finally caught my breath, I looked up and realized where I was. I was standing in front of Solomon Moto's game shop. Ugh, why'd I have to stop here? Of all places, it just had to be here! I walked up to the window and gazed through it longingly. I stared into the shop at all the duel monsters card packs lining the walls. How I wished I could go inside and just play a game of duel monsters with Yugi. This place made me miss Yugi again. He was truly the greatest friend I had ever had the chance of meeting. And then my Yami had to go and mess it up like he always did. But maybe he did it for a reason? What ever reason he had for doing it had to be a stupid one. Yugi had no reason to harm me. Why did my Yami loathe him so much? I needed to get away from here. I couldn't take any more of this loneliness. I made my way to the alley next to the shop before anyone could notice me loitering at the front. To avoid thinking about Yugi, my mind drifted back to thinking about the past hour and I rubbed the back of my hand against my eyes. That wasn't any better, why couldn't I just think of something happy? Did I even have any happy memories? I sighed and kicked some rocks down the alleyway.
As I was stressing out about my so called life, I didn't hear the heavy footsteps coming up behind me. Suddenly, a huge fist hit me square in the eye and my body slammed back into the brick wall of the game shop. Ugh, what now? Could this day get any worse? I looked up at Ushio towering over me. He was smiling down at me viciously. I stayed up against the wall, not sure where to go. I might as well just let him beat me and get it over with. If he doesn't do it now, he'll just come back for me later.
"It looks like your luck finally ran out. There's no one here to now to stop me from kicking your scrawny little ass." He grabbed me by my shoulder and pinned me against the wall, raising his fist, just as he did the other day. But before he could strike, I lost grip of reality and my Yami took control of the situation. Just before his fist made contact with my face, I raised my hand, stopping his in mid punch. Ushio's eyes widened in fright. "How'd you do that?"
A smile creeped across my face and I tightened my grip on his fist.
"You are so foolish. I have more power than you can ever imagine." I tightened my fingers more, nearly crushing the bones in his hand, while digging my nails in. My fingernails punctured his skin and he let out a yelp while yanking back his fist. He looked down at his bleeding hand, confused, and then back up at me. "Why don't you just leave us alone, now? We've had a long day and don't really have the patience to deal with someone stupid like you."
He growled and took another swing at me with his other hand, but I swiftly shifted to the side so his fist made contact with the brick behind me instead. I could practically hear the bones crushing as he cried out in pain. Yes, Good. With both hands bleeding, he pulled them close to his body and balled them up against his chest before shaking in pure anger. He came at me with full force, wrapping his hands around my neck, but I was too quick. Before he could do anything, I had swiftly pulled out my knife and poised it at his throat. His eyes glanced down at it, terrified.
"Don't do anything stupid. Lest you want me to dig this knife into your throat." A small trickle of blood began to drip down his neck, and I stared at it hungrily. Oh, I would give anything to finish him off. He backed up slightly, his hands falling to his sides, but only as much as I would let him. I rubbed my thumb against the blood trickling down his neck and then brought it to my lips, my knife still pressed against his neck with my other hand. I closed my eyes and sucked the blood from my thumb, cherishing the sweet metallic taste. My eyes flew open and and my lips curled into a menacing smile. He was scared and I was enjoying every moment.
"Wh- What are you?" My eyes widened at that question. He was ready.
"Do you really want to know the answer to that?" Before he could say or do anything, I took my knife and plunged it straight through chest. Ushio let out the most agonizing scream and stumbled backwards. I moved forward, my millennium ring glowing with power and vibrating against my chest. Slowly, I slipped into his head and wrapped my power around his mind, preparing to kill him in the most agonizing way I knew. I began to crush his mind with the power of my ring. He put his hands on either side of his head, as if trying to stop the pain, though I knew there was no way to stop such ancient Egyptian magic. Blood began to seep from his ears and his screams grew louder as I prepared to push him into the Shadow Realm. "STOP! Yami, please! You'll kill him. Don't do this."
Reluctantly, I backed off. Ushio crumpled to the ground, shaking with fear and pain, a puddle of blood forming around him. The boy had no idea what he was asking for, but I found it wise to respect his wishes. I decided to let the boy have control of his body again, resisting the urge to slit Ushio's throat, though I could do it so easily.
My vision blurred slightly before coming to focus on the sight before me. I looked down at the bloody knife in my hand and shook it from my hand, letting it clatter to the ground. What had my Yami done?! I lifted my bloody hands to my face, my fingers trembling before me. As I stared at my hands, I noticed something moving beyond them through the slits between my fingers. Ushio lay before me on the dirty ground in fetal position, whimpering like a child. I was mad at myself for being so happy that someone gave him a taste of his own medicine, though I was expecting it to be this harsh. How did my Yami even miss his heart? I heard someone come running out of the game store and I panicked.
"What's going on?!"
I looked to my left and saw Yugi come to a halt at the end of the alley, taking in the sight before him. His eyes widened when he saw me standing over Ushio, but before he could say anything, I took off running in the opposite direction. Great, this is just what I needed. Yugi was the only person that knew about my dark side. So at least he wouldn't rat me out to anyone about what just happened. Or would he? I suddenly remembered the knife I left lying on the ground back at the scene. How could I be so stupid?! I was sure to be found out now. If Yugi wouldn't say anything, then that knife would tell the cops everything they needed to know. I could hear the sirens in the distance and couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. It was all too much to bear now. My Yami had never committed something so serious and now I was in danger of getting caught!
When I finally got to my house, I ran up the stairs and straight into my bedroom. I slammed the door shut behind me and collapsed onto the bed, crying. I was miserable. That aching lonely feeling made its way back into my being. I just kept crying, shuddering every time I thought of the events of the past hour. Ayumi, Ushio, Yugi; they all probably think I'm some sort of freak now. Well, as if they didn't before. I'll never have a normal life. Maybe I was destined to be alone forever. Perhaps it was better for everyone, safer even, if I just didn't get close to anyone anymore. I felt my Yami's hand lightly rubbing my back. I sat up and looked at him, wiping the wetness off my face with the back of my hand. I noticed a bruise starting to form around his eye and I realized that I must have one too. Frustrated, I fell against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, consoling me. "You were right, Yami. About everything. You always are."
He ran his fingers through my hair and rubbed my back until my crying ceased. The sun was going down outside and the room slowly got darker. Me and my Yami continued to sit in silence, although I could feel the warmth in his heart for me. It gave me the strength to get up and change into something comfortable. I made my way downstairs and grabbed a frozen dinner out of the freezer in the kitchen. After I warmed it up, I went to the living room and sat on the couch, eating it in silence. It wasn't that great, but after everything that had happened today, I didn't really care. When I went to throw it away, I passed my Yami sitting at the bottom of the stairs. He was just watching me as I threw away the leftovers and walked back towards the stairs. I stopped in front of him, waiting for him to move out of the way, but he didn't. Instead, he spoke to me, but it wasn't sweet and consoling like I hoped for.
"You should have let me kill him. Why'd you stop me, Ryou? It's not like that boy had a future anyways. And now he'll probably have to live a traumatized life after what just happened. I would have done him a favor by just killing him." I never even considered that. My body started aching some more. Now I have the added pressure that I probably just ruined someone's life.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. "But who are you to decide who lives or dies. Not that... I mean… I appreciate what you did for me… You're the only one that has my best interests in mind."
I didn't know what to do anymore. I couldn't even decide which one of us was right and which was wrong. Maybe I should just let my Yami take control for good. He seemed to know more about life than I did. He was stronger and braver than I could ever be. And then the tears started again. My Yami took me by the hand and pulled me up the stairs to my bed. He laid me down and pulled the sheets over me. I let my tears soak my pillow as he sat on the bed next to me. I know he really does love me, but why would he do things like this to add so much pressure to my life. I forced myself to think of other things, happier things, but nothing could really come to mind. But even still, I slowly stopped crying again. I pulled the sheets up to my chin and rolled over. I tried to calm my mind and clear it of everything that had happened today. Eventually, my mind drifted off into a deep sleep.