Darcy POV
I did not know that I was capable of such nervousness as during the few moments in which I waited for a response from Elizabeth Bennet to my request that she dance with me. When we first met, we had been involved in a conversation about how to encourage affection and she had made it clear that dancing was the way to do so. Therefore, to encourage her affection towards me, I took her advice and asked her to dance. In the same declaration, she had included the words, "even if one's partner is barely tolerable." I was surprised at her choice of wording surprising, but I knew that there was no possible way of her hearing the statement I had made earlier, however false it was.
When the time came for our dance, I walked to where she was conversing with others and she reluctantly retreated from their presence as we took our places. I bowed to her, and I found it hard to keep my eyes off of her. I knew it was improper to stare at her the way I was, but surely she must have known what it meant. I knew that I was quickly on my way to falling deeper and deeper in love with her. She looked uncomfortable under my gaze, but I could not help it. Her looks entranced me. When she would speak, all I could manage to utter were a few syllables here and there. I hoped she did not think me indifferent, for I was anything but.
She glanced up at me and her fine eyes grew wide. We were the only ones in the room, it seemed, for I could not place anyone else when I looked back on this moment. I thought about how much I already loved her, and tried to tell her without saying anything. That is how some things must be communicated, for words are unable to grasp the meaning that a simple glance can hold. I hoped that I could get the message across.
The sound of her quiet laughter broke me out of my reverie, and I was curious as to what was so funny. But, alas, I had no chance to ask her. Before I knew it, our dance was over and she rushed away from me, as though my very presence upset her.
For the rest of my time, I was pestered by Caroline Bingley and her remarks about the horrors of this society and the people of Meryton. The moment she started to criticize Elizabeth and her sister Jane, whom I had thought was friends with Caroline, I left. I made up a silly excuse and decided I needed to leave. First I had to bid farewell to Elizabeth.
I found her in a hallway adjacent to the ballroom. "Miss Bennet!" I called. I may call her Miss Bennet, but she had long since been Elizabeth in my mind. She whirled around, surprised to see me. I walked swiftly up to her. "If I may be so bold, I would like to tell you that I enjoyed our dance very much. I am glad we had the opportunity to do so," I said, trying to restrain myself from blurting out what I so longed to say- that I was falling in love with her.
I took her hand in mine and brought it to my lips. I inhaled her scent, lavender, and mentally marked it in my mind. As I did so, my lips could not help but to breathe out the phrase that I knew was a forbidden subject- for now. "I love you." I dropped her hand and retreated quickly. I felt like such an idiot. The one woman that I knew who expressed no want to marry me was the exact same one that I was falling in love with. This was a disaster. I almost smacked myself for leaving her alone in that hallway with no explanation for my actions. Love so often makes us become what we really are: nervous, giddy, unpredictable fools. It is an amazing thing, if you can only come to accept it. I was becoming on my way to understanding it and my only hope was that she would realize it soon.