Kame:Well, I finally got this chap out^^…heh, sorry for the wait, but story minus review equal no motivation…If it weren't for Vi-Violence and especially eriisu-April, this chap wouldn't exist! Oh, I also want to thank all of the people who added this story to their alerts.

Disclaimer: Just Butch and Lantz

Chapter 2: Vash the who?

Ed is sprawled across the ground, staring into the blue cloudless sky as he whimpers in pain. Damn preacher. Damn him to hell Ed thinks bitterly.

"Well, kid I can't fix it. Guess we're gonna half to hoof it" Wolfwood says cheerily.

Ed stares at him in rage. "Damn it for the last time, I AM NOT A KID!" he growls.

"Hey, you can't use that type of language around me." Wolfwood reproaches, pointing to the cross cufflink on the sleeve of his shirt. "Now we need to get a move on before it gets dark, so get up."

If looks could kill, Wolfwood would have been burned to death after being shot and decapitated. Ed gingerly gets off the ground and starts walking.

"That's the spirit! We probably won't make it to May city at this rate, but there's a small village around here we could spend the night in. We aren't that far, take my word for it!" Wolfwood grins.

Ed glares at the preacher and thinks of the last time he said that

(Flashback begins)

"Hmmm...you can sit on the back of the bike, but make sure to hold on tight" Wolfwood suggests as he sits his giant cross right behind him.

"Am I gonna be able to actually stay on the bike?" Ed questions.

Wolfwood looks thoughtful for a minute. "Well, we don't have a choice in this case, unless you want to sit behind me and hold my cross."

Seeing the hesitation Ed has on his face, the preacher turns his warm blue eyes to Ed and simply states, "Unless you want to walk, I suggest you hop on and pray to God that you don't fall off. If you do that, everything will work out, trust me!" Wolfwood's goofy smile fades a little as he sees the anger creeping into Ed's eyes. Hmm, did I say something wrong? He wonders. However, the comment succeeds in getting Ed to climb on the back of the bike, which Wolfwood proceeds to drive off into the day. Driving over some rocks, he notices Ed grimacing and sitting stiffly.

"Heh, sorry about the rocks, but they're kinda hard to avoid out here. You might want to relax your posture a little though; I seriously doubt if that is the last time I will drive over some rocks." As Wolfwood states this, he drives over more rocks. The rocks Wolfwood drives over causes the back wheel to bounce right into Ed's crotch. Ed winces and tries to adjust his position into one that is more comfortable.

Damn preacher didn't say how uncomfortable this would be Ed thinks as he winces from the onslaught of movement from Wolfwood's careless driving.

"Can you at least try to avoid some of the damn rocks?" Ed shouts in anger and pain.

"Nope, they're all over the place" Wolfwood responds lightly. Ed growls and thinks of all of the ways to punish the preacher for his recklessness.

An hour later…

Ed is barely able to hold on as the motorcycles moves through a narrow valley full of rocks and cactus. …My family jewels are probably pebbles by now…I'm gonna murder that man in his sleep he groans as he starts to slip off. BAMN! The front tire of the bike is punctured by a particularly nasty cactus thorn, and the bike starts to swerve out of control. Ed tries to hang on for dear life, but is bucked off the bike into a very thorny patch of cactus as Wolfwood crashes.

"Whoops, are you okay there kid?" Wolfwood asks as he rushes over to Ed, awkwardly positioned on the cactus to avoid being speared in his vulnerable parts.

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M OKAY!" Ed roars as he balances on his automail arm and leg.

"Heh, calm down, I'll give you a hand." Wolfwood ressures, grabbing Ed by the collar of his coat and putting him off the cactus. "Geeze, you're heavy for a little guy."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO LITTLE THAT A DECIMAL POINT WOULD BE HEAVIER THAN HIM!?"

"Uh….didn't say all that…" Wolfwood smirks. "Well, now that you're okay, let's see about the bike." Wolfwood states, leaving Ed behind on the ground.

(Flashback ends)

The duo walk through the blazing desert, the hot sun burning holes in the back of their necks. Figuring it will be a while before they reach the nearest town, Wolfwood decides to use this time to get to know the young charge a few paces behind him.

"So Ed, what brought you out into the desert?"

"Didn't I already tell you this?"

"No, you merely said you were lost." Wolfwood responds patiently. "You didn't say what made you get lost in the first place."

This guy asks too many damn questions Ed grumbles. Not in the mood to make up a cover story, Ed simply snaps, "It's none of your business."

Wolfwood looks thoughtful for a minute. "Y'know kid, I am a preacher. If you need to talk to anyone, I'm all ears." Ed says nothing.

"Okay, if you have something to confess…then you can confess it in this mini confessional!" Wolfwood says excitedly as he pulls out a small model of a church that's completely hollow in the inside and has just enough space for someone to put over their head.

"Well, for a small price…after all, the church gotta support itself!"

This guy is a nut job Ed thinks in disbelief as he stares at the "mini- confessional" in his hands.

"C'mon…you know you might feel better; after all, 'If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us –"*

"Don't give me that bullshit!" Ed snarls, shooting Wolfwood a look of bitter hatred and stomps away. Must have touched a nerve the preacher reasons. The two walk in silence, Ed fuming in bitter rage and Wolfwood reflecting on Ed's reaction.

***********

Meanwhile, on some far off cliff

A gang of rowdy men are relaxing in the shade of a cliff. Everyone is sleep or playing some kind of gambling game-everyone except Lantz. Lantz is just a bad luck kind of guy. He was always the little man at the bottom of the totem pole, forced to do the dirtiest jobs for the least amount. His blunder in the last mission their gang had-carjacking a bus and robbing everyone on board-had merely eroded the tiny platform he was standing on. Geeze, he thinks, how am I supposed to know that the stupid bus was leaking gasoline? It isn't my fault Greg dropped his cigarette. But perhaps it was; Lantz was the one who drove over the bump that started the leak and caused Greg to drop the cigarette on the thin trail of gas. His punishment was to sit on the top of this cliff (it wasn't very high) in the hot sun and look out for their next target. Lantz heaves a sigh as he wipes his brow and the eyepiece of the telescope he is looking through.

"Man, and I thought things couldn't get any worse for me. No breaks or anything until I spot another target." he grumbles as he watches a pair of buzzards soaring through the sky. Seeing the eerie black birds in the sky reminds Lantz of what his boss said to him after he messed up their most recent mission. His boss made it very clear that if he messes up again, the vultures would be more fortunate than him.** So when poor, down on his luck Lantz sees a blonde person in a red coat, his jaw drops in surprise.

Is that who I think it is?

"BOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Lantz screams as he heads down the face of the cliff, a wide grin plastered on his face. "BOSS! BOSS! You are NOT going to believe who I saw traveling in the desert!"

**********

"If you don't want to talk to me, fine, but when you feel like talking about it, I'll be here"

Ed completely ignores the black haired preacher to his side as the two rest on some rocks. Wolfwood is rather annoyed at the boy's silence; he still has a lot of questions about this kid he wants to ask. At the same time, it is quite apparent he struck a sensitive issue with the Bible quote. He compromises by offering Ed some water. Ed snatches the bottle from his hand, drinks some and then, to Wolfwood's surprise, pours some of the water over his head.

"Hey, what are you doing that for?! You're wasting precious water!" he shouts in anger as he snatches the flask from Ed.

"The water's not wasted; it's helping to keep me alive." Ed replies sardonically.

"It doesn't help you much to put the water outside your body."

"Like fucking hell it does" Ed grumbles. Wolfwood turns to look at Ed.

"Maybe of you took off your coat, gloves and jacket, you wouldn't be so hot and there wouldn't be a need for you to waste water." he snaps lightly.

"How much longer till we get to this village you were talking about." Ed says forcefully, successfully changing the topic.

"If we leave now, we can make it before the sun sets…" Wolfwood begins.

"But unfortunately, you won't." an unfamiliar voice replies. Both Wolfwood and Ed whirl around and find themselves surrounded in a large circle by a gang of men. The man who spoke earlier steps forward, his tall stocky figure casting a long shadow in the sand. His tan-colored face is split into a wide grin as he pushes small square sunglasses up the bridge of his nose and he runs a thick, scarred hand through short, military cut style hair of a dark brown.

Both the preacher and the alchemist stare dumbstruck at the man.

"Who the hell are you?" Ed questions.

" They call me Butch-the-destroyer. Finally caught you…Vash the Stampede."

"Vash-the-who?" Ed states in a daze.

"Don't play dumb with me. You know who you are. I finally caught you, and now that 60 billion double-dollar bounty is mine!"

"What?!" Ed snaps in confusion and annoyance; the one thing Ed absolutely hates is not knowing a situation.

"You mean to tell me that you think THIS GUY is Vash?" Wolfwood questions. Ed glares at the emphasis Wolfwood puts into the sentence. Is he trying to say something about my height?

"ENOUGH!" Butch roars. "GET EM' BOTH AND TIE EM' UP!"

Wolfwood wears a smirk as the circle of guys close in.

"Hey Ed, do you think you can keep up with me and handle your own?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can handle myself." Ed smirks back. Before the guys get within four feet of the duo, Ed and Wolfwood are on the offense, smashing noses and breaking ribs.

A guy tries to attack Ed with some brass knuckles. Ed dodges and places a well-aimed kick with his left leg, sending the guy collapsing on the ground in agony.

"Not bad kid." Wolfwood compliments as he punches a guy in front of him, then dodges the chain someone was trying to strike at his head and trips him. The other guy falls over, his chain swinging wildly and hitting the guy Wolfwood punched in the head.

"Heh, I can say the same for you." Ed retorts as another guy comes up behind Ed and swings a lead pipe at him. Ed blocks with his right arm and flips the guy over, sending him flying into two others on their way to attack Ed.

"I'm glad you can defend yourself; at least you're not useless" Wolfwood muses after he knees someone in the chest. He doesn't notice Butch coming up on him.

"HEY, LOOK OUT!" Ed shouts, but before Wolfwood can turn around, Butch knocks him unconscious.

"Heh, I guess he wasn't as tough as he said he was." Butch sneers. "It's just you and me Vash."

"Lookk, Damnit, I'm not this Vash guy!" Ed snaps, causing Butch to roar with laughter.

"Haha, so you think that by changing your name, you can get off easy? But I wouldn't be surprised; who would have guessed that Vash the Stampede was so short! Ha!"

Ed stiffens in anger. DID THIS GUY JUST CALL ME SHORT!?

"I knew you looked a little young, but you look like an eleven year old kid!"

Ed looks as if he is about to explode; in fact, he does.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE SHOULD BE IN A DIAPER DRINKING DISTUGISTING MILK OUT OF A BOTTLE! DAMNIT! I'LL SHOW YOU SHORT!

Butch pauses in surprise at Ed's comment, then laughs even harder-till he sees Ed clap his hands, a blue flash, and a blade coming at him.

* Quote from the Bible 1 John 1:9 NKJV

**I think you can infer that the fortunate vultures will be having a meal if Lantz messes up again...which he does.

Kame: Haha, left you guys at a cliffy! And I finally figured out how to do the line separating stuff! YAY^^ Anyway, rate and review ONEGAISHIMASU! (puppy dog eyes)