And There Goes My Heart And Soul
Monster
(O_O) I don't own Naruto. Just Ame.
-LB-
"His little whispers 'love me, love me'
That's all I ask for, love me, love me.
He bat on his tiny fist to feel something.
Wonder what it's like to touch and feel something…
Monster how should I feel?
Creatures lie here, looking through the window
Time will hear their voices
I'm a glass child, I am Hannah's regret…"
- Meg and Dia
-LB-
In life all I wanted was to be loved. Filled with the false happiness and wonder. Big eyes like a child I walked into the world, with people around me. They shoved me with the false happiness and so called love.
It never reflected on my personality. I was the wacky, happy, bubbly, little Ame. But I had always lived to be evil, love was one letter, backwards, away from evil. Love was not something I truly believed in, but I never shied away from saying it, or wanting it. Love, in my words, is attraction, strong attraction, mentally and physically, being strongly attracted to a person that is what love is.
If the feeling of "love" as a child was nothing more than childish attraction with no meaning, then I could not say, Sasuke was my first love. But even now I realized that Sasuke was just like a brother, the older brother I, always, as the younger sister often bothered.
Naruto was another brother, but he started his relationship with me on fear. He feared me, even with the fox he feared me. Naruto was, and still is, the only person who's seen the darkness in me. My evil side, the other me, Yuki Liveevil. I bid her no light with life when I can.
But not after long, I had literally jumped, sang, danced and spazzumed into Gaara's life. Gaara fully understood me.. He too, though never admitted this, wanted love. He deserved it nonetheless. Being Kazekage, Gaara cared about everyone. But he received little love back, more like admiration and loyalty. Some felt friendship, which I guess could count as love; but not attraction.
At least the kind I felt for him then. When we met, he hated me, but I stayed, jumping, singing, dancing and spazzing. Naturally he became used to it. It sort of became natural, and she started giving me mind, like a child, I grabbed on to his attention and didn't want to let him go. In my desperation, I changed to fit him better and he did the same. My messiness decreased and his speech increased. He spoke with me more often to show he cared.
Slowly I came to him for more. Advice, or just to be with him. I wanted to reach out and hold him. But when I reached out to touch, I couldn't feel, I retreated right after I tried out of fear of denial. Though Gaara never made me feel empty, quite the opposite in all honesty. I never felt like a monster around him. I was always happy, which is when I realized, I felt this so called love.
The more I accepted it, the more I wanted to be by his side. It felt like the air was cleaner around him, food tasted better, light was brighter. I gradually need Gaara with me. He became something in my life that was necessary, like air. Thought I never let him know it, and I still don't.
Slowly out relationship grew, close and closer, finally I was at my limit, I loved him so much, but before I could confess, he did it first. Gaara loved me. Walking on air we became more than friends. Sharing so many things, friends, hugs, food, and slowly we moved on to kisses.
Through a window of judgment, people slowly accepted out relationship. Watching us interact and be silly together. Me being silly, Gaara laughing. Being Kazekage was sometimes hard on our relationship, but it worked out. We were together, and we did something, known as love each other.
Some days I wondered why my quiet, mysterious minded, breath taking, gentle, not spaztastic, boyfriend picked me. I was opposite of him, but I guess opposites attract, and I do love him. That's all I need.
-LB-
"Ame, what are you doing?" asked Gaara from the door of my class room.
"My own writing assignment," I giggled, Gaara smiled at me softly.
"I see. You must have a lot of paperwork," he said, I nodded.
"Your Favorite Peron, essays are easy to grade though," I said, stoop up, grabbed my stuffed bag, and laced fingers with him.
"Let's go?" he asked, I kissed him quickly and nodded, tugging at his hand. He recovered quickly from my kiss, and kissed me again.
Yep, I'm right. I love him and him being around is all I need. He's my panda, and he always will be.