Disclaimer: Don't Own, etc.
On the morning of Cuddy's birthday, Rachael got up early and came rushing into their bedroom. "Happy Birthday, Mommy!" Rachael exclaimed, waking up both House and Cuddy.
"She's so old, I'm not sure it's very happy for her," House snarked.
"Someone's a little cranky this morning," Cuddy commented, "Thank you, sweetie," Cuddy said as she sat up and reached to hug Rachael.
House was cranky. First, he'd been woken up out of a sound sleep by a high-pitched, loud voice, never a good way to start the day. Second, he'd been hoping for a little early morning birthday sex, which was not going to happen now.
"I'm going to take a shower," he barked. He held his leg, sat up and downed a couple of Vicodin from the bottle on the night stand.
"Aren't you going to make Mommy breakfast?" Rachael asked.
"I don't want her to start her birthday with food poisoning," House growled as he limped slowly toward the bathroom.
"He isn't being very nice on your birthday," Rachael commented.
"You know he's just not a morning person," Cuddy reassured Rachael. House wasn't that much more grumpy than usual, Cuddy thought. She also remembered House telling her that birthdays for him growing up weren't very happy occasions, what with him getting no presents and John House seeing the day as an opportunity to tell Greg everything he'd done wrong in the previous year in a so-called attempt to help him improve. Cuddy allowed herself a brief moment of compassion for the child that House was, and hoped his life was at least a little better now. She was pretty sure it was.
"Mommy, are you going to make breakfast?" Rachael asked.
"Why don't we do it together?" Cuddy asked with a smile.
House got into the shower. He was a little over the top with the grouchiness, but he hoped it would put Cuddy off the trail a little bit. If he were at all nice, she might suspect something was up. He didn't want to give her the present until after Rachael was in bed tonight, so he was going to have to keep up the hostility and snarkiness all day. Good thing he was so expert at it.
After House finished his shower, he slipped on his bath robe and went to the kitchen.
"Mommy made a yummy breakfast and you're not getting any!" Rachael proclaimed in her most whiny voice.
"Ra-chael," Cuddy warned, putting emphasis on both syllables of her name.
"Well, you can have some, but you don't deserve it," Rachael conceded. "You aren't being very nice."
"I'm never nice," House responded. "Why should today be any different?
"Because it's Mommy's birthday, and if you loved her, you'd be nice to her!" Rachael insisted.
"If your Mom wanted nice, there is no way she'd be with me," House replied, "I'm The Anti-Nice."
"Okay, that's enough from both of you," Cuddy interjected, "Could we just have a quiet breakfast, please?"
They ate their breakfast in silence, although it wasn't particularly tense. Cuddy put the dishes in the dishwasher, House and Rachael went to get dressed, and Cuddy headed for the shower. Rachael got on the school bus, and House waited for Cuddy to finish her hair and makeup.
"What's taking so long, Cuddy? Do you have a big donor you have to impress with your cleavage today?" House shouted from the living room, "Aren't you ready yet?"
"Does Gregory House actually want to get to his job on time today?" Cuddy asked with a smirk. "Is this my birthday present?"
"I just hate sitting here waiting for The Birthday Queen to get ready," House replied.
"Isn't that what you called Wilson on his last birthday?" Cuddy joked.
"You know," house answered thoughtfully, "it does actually fit him better than you."
They went out the front door and Cuddy locked it.
Cuddy thought House was waiting so they could drive in together. She was confused when House jumped on his motorcycle and took off. Why had he waited for her? He's just playing with my head. And he hasn't wished me a Happy Birthday, either. Cuddy wasn't at all surprised, but she was a little disappointed.