A/N: Okay, Merry Christmas all! This will eventually have some humor in it, even if it is dark.(That's the funniest kind!) I will explain exactly what their relationship was before Volemort's defeat, and just after. There's something not quite on the surface going on, but you'll just have to wait and see. Please, please, please, please, please, please, review, I seriously am going to waste away without them...

Disclaimer: Like I said before, they ain't mine, give all the credit to the goddess J.K.R.

***

"Why I let Dumbledore drag me into these things I'll never know," mumbled Hermione Granger as she walked quietly up the steps to the home of Severus Snape. She hadn't set foot on this path for a few months now and she felt clumsy and awkward on her return. "He had better talk to me, I didn't come all this way for nothing."

She reached the door and stood for a moment taking in deep breaths. "For Merlin's sake, Granger, he's just another man, you can handle him." But Hermione knew deep down that was the farthest thing from the truth. Severus had always had a power over her that she didn't understand. In the years when they had been good friends he could always command her attention without even seeming to try. He had cost her Viktor, and almost her friendship with Ron, but then Ron had always hated Snape, and that would never change.

She raised her hand to knock and realized that it was close to one in the morning. She started to debate whether or not she should wake him but soon enough she decided it was now or never. She pounded on the door a few times. It wasn't the most pleasant sound to wake up to, but his house was rather large and if he were in the far recesses that might be the only way he could hear her.

Hermione waited for a few moments then started to knock again. "He's going to answer this door," she thought, "or I'll break it down."

***

A dull thud began in the back of Severus' head. His eyes fluttered open and he grimaced. He'd gotten a bit carried away with the glass apparently. He really didn't have the will to do anything about it, however, and continued to lie, bleeding on the floor.

The thud became more pronounced and he realized it was from an outside source, not just inside his head. He felt the icy chill and Lucius' voice wasn't far behind.

Damn you, Snape, get up!

Severus grunted and closed his eyes again.

The mudblood Granger's at your door, Snape. Can't imagine why'd she want to talk to you, but she's here and I don't think she's going to leave.

Lucius' terminology sparked a hint of anger in Severus that quickly died down when a wave of nausea hit him. "She'll leave, just wait."

Do you want to even keep a semblance of sanity? Get the mudblood out of here now! She'll find you like this Severus, and then you'll be stuck in some room unable to make any memories go away.

Severus began to pull himself to his feet but felt too dizzy to move. He leaned over the sink and retched into the bowl now covered in blood and broken glass. Finally he pulled himself up and wrapped a towel around his arm walking down stairs.

That's a boy, you can come back to play once she's gone.

Lucius' voice left him and Severus reached the door, covered in a cold sweat and blood running down the right side of his body. Hermione's pounding was getting louder and more annoying with each rap at the door. He opened it just a crack as her hand began to descend again.

They both stared at each other for a moment speechless. Hermione regained control first and stuck her foot in the door. Severus would have snarled if he had the energy but all he could do was gawk at her foot unable to move it.

"Severus we need to talk. Something's not right with you."

"Ms. Granger, please... remove your foot... from my door... and allow me... to return to bed." Severus was having a hard time getting anything out of his mouth. His brain was foggy and he couldn't really see properly.

Hermione looked closer at Snape. His eyes weren't focusing, and he was breathing heavily. She noticed his forehead was drenched in sweat and his hair was disheveled more than she had ever seen it, and that was saying quite a bit. "Severus, have you been drinking?"

He smiled at that, but it was a mirthless smile that left his head in more pain than before. "No, Ms. Granger, I.... have not... been drinking. I'm perfectly fine... now please, get out."

"Since when did you call me Ms. Granger, and why are you..." She stopped mid-sentence and brought her hand closer to her face. She had gripped the inside of the door trying to pry it open but she came into contact with something warm and sticky. She watched, horrified as blood trickled down her fingers. She looked up at him, no he seemed even paler than before if that was possible, and he tried to swallow but his mouth was dry.

"Oh, gods, Severus what have you done?" He tried to slam the door, taking her by surprise but she was quicker and slipped inside grabbing his shoulders and looking at him. His robes were in tatters, ripped and cut in places. Pieces of his hair were stuck together with blood. Most of his right side was covered in sweat and blood and his body was stark white, the blood and his hair making the color seem even more surreal.

He swayed there for a moment, his eyes going in and out of focus, looking angry, hurt, and most of all dead, before he collapsed into a heap of robes and bloodied flesh. Hermione fell to her knees at his side checking his neck for a pulse. It was weak and erratic, he wouldn't last for long if she didn't find a way to repair his wounds.

"I've got to get him cold and stop the blood flow," she thought aloud. "Oh, gods, Severus, what the hell were you thinking?"

Hermione pulled out her wand and murmured a levitation spell causing him to lift off the ground slightly. She directed him up the stairs and into the bathroom, but once she saw the disarray it was in she steeled herself against the image, remembering to come back later and clean it up, and reached another bathroom with a large tub and sink. She lowered him to the ground as softly as she could and went to the cabinet looking for something to stop the blood.

"Hang in there, Severus, we'll have you back to your snarling self in no time." She was really talking more to keep herself from succumbing to the shock than encourage him, she knew that was probably useless. Finally she found a bottle of pepper-up potion, that would at least bring him to, then she could find where he kept his more potent concoctions.

She lifted his head and tilted the vial against his lips. He drank slowly, but drank it all and soon looked a little farther from death. "Where do you keep the good stuff, Severus? I know you have something that can stop the blood." He looked like he wouldn't be much help for a moment, but she sighed and he whispered the location of his potions closet.

A few moments later Hermione returned with three vials and made him drink each quickly, before she began to remove his robes. He grabbed her wrist to try to stop her but she shook him off easily, he was still very weak. "Don't be modest, Sev, it's not like I haven't seen it all before, just relax and let the potions go to work."

He looked a little alarmed and she smiled. "What did... you give me?" he managed to croak out.

"You don't need to worry about that now, just let me clean you up." The sleeping draught she gave him began to kick in and his eyes began to close even though he was trying his hardest to keep them open. She smiled and kissed his forehead. "You'll be fine, I'm not going to hurt you."

She managed to remove his robes in just a few minutes and started to fill the tub with lukewarm water hoping it wouldn't be hot enough to convince blood to flow even against the potions she had given him. She lowered him in keeping his right arm out of the water and allowing the blood where no cuts were to wash away. Eventually his body, excluding his arm, was clean and she waved her wand and muttered something under her breath --not wanting to wake him-- that cleaned the water.

Severus was beginning to stir and Hermione grabbed another vial of sleeping draught. When she turned to bring it to him his eyes were open and finally focusing. "Here, drink this, and let me clean up that arm."

Severus shook his head and looked away. "You can go now, I think I've been sufficiently humiliated for one night, thank you."

Hermione sighed and walked over to him, leaning down and offering the vial to him. "Listen, I don't want to argue with you right now. Drink this and let me finish up."

"I didn't ask you to come here, I didn't even ask for your help. I don't give a damn if Dumbledore sent you, or if you just decided that it was time to take pity on me. I don't need this, I can care for myself."

Hermione didn't say anything but pushed the vial closer to him. Something flashed in his eyes, she could see it even though he wasn't looking at her. He grabbed the potion out of her hand and threw it against the opposite wall.

"Leave."

"No."

"I don't need you."

"Severus, for Christ sake, you can't even move your arm to clean it." He looked down and for the first time seemed to realize the blood flow to his arm had stopped and it was as if things had frozen from his right shoulder down. "I stopped the blood flow, but that can't go on for very long or it will do permanent damage. I need to clean it now before your arm begins to die."

Severus sighed, and looked away. Hermione knew this to be the invitation she had been waiting for and gathered gauze, a tub of cool water, and some towels from the sink. She lifted his arms into the tub and rinsed it clean of dried blood. She couldn't help but grimace at the deep wounds she uncovered. There were bits of glass stuck in some of them, he must have been using enough force to break the shards. She removed any foreign objects from his arm with a wave of her wand and searched for any tendons or ligaments she needed to repair. Finishing any internal work she began to release the blood, allowing it to flow freely into his once frozen limb.

When the blood began to clot she looked up with a smile that quickly faded. Severus had his jaw clenched tighter than she thought possible, his left fist clenched hard enough that if he had long enough fingernails it would have drawn blood, and he was staring, fixatedly at the mark on his arm.

"Severus, what's happened to you?"

His hand turned and he gripped the side of the tub, his knuckles white with the force of it. He turned to her, the anger and malice that she had expected to see where absent, but in their place was something much worse. He looked paler than she had ever seen him, his eyes were bloodshot and haunted. No man who looked like this could ever laugh, or even smile, he was empty.

"I don't know," he muttered, and then, he wept.