Tremble

It was nice for Peeta to see his prep team, but their company was nothing like Katniss's. They brought back the memory of fear: fear of being sent into the Hunger Games, fear of losing Katniss. He just wanted to hold Katniss but she wasn't with him. He was quiet as he let the team prep his hair, skin, and face. They tittered happily and told Peeta about how famous he was, how famous they had become because of him and Katniss. How they were invited to almost every party. He told them that that was great, even though he didn't really care. They gushed about his paintings, as painting had become his talent. Every Victor was supposed to have a talent. It seemed as though Peeta was really good at his.

After what seemed like too long, the prep team finally drew back, smiles on their faces. Then Portia shooed them away so she could get him into his outfit. She didn't say anything, just helped him get changed and then fixed any wrinkles. When she was all done, she took a step back and looked at him.

"So, how do I look?" Peeta asked, spreading his arms.

"Handsome. And sad." Portia said softly. "How have you been, Peeta?"

Peeta shrugged. "I've been fine. I just don't want to do this tour."

Portia sighed. "It'll be ok. It's not very long."

"Yeah I know."

"Well, it's time for the cameras." Portia said.

Peeta nodded and followed her downstairs. One of the crew counted down before the cameras turned on. With every second, Peeta felt his senses become sharp and focused. One was finally reached and Peeta opened the door, his mind went blank when he saw the cameras, speakers, and microphones and other equipment positioned outside. But then he saw Katniss running over to him. He held his arms out with a huge smile on his face. She looked beautiful, but he knew that she would; she always was. Katniss beamed at him and leapt into his arms. Peeta's prosthetic leg slipped on the ice and he fell back, cushioned slightly by the snow, and Katniss fell on top of him.

Katniss giggled and pushed off him to look him in the face. He smiled at her and she gently touched his face. She leaned down and pressed her lips against his. He shut his eyes, feeling everything behind her kiss. The love, the passion, but also the fear. He could feel her lips trembling slightly. He could tell that something was wrong because she had never been like this in front of the cameras.

"Um, hello?" they heard a voice. It sounded like Caesar Flickerman. Katniss broke away from Peeta and got off of him.

"Sorry Caesar." She blushed. Peeta stood up and wrapped his arm around Katniss's shoulders.

"Oh that's quite alright." Caesar's voice said. He let out his extravagant laugh. "So, how are you over there in Twelve?"

Peeta tried not to get too freaked out by the camera coming in close to him and Katniss, zooming in on their faces. He cleared his throat and fixed his faltering smile. "We're good."

"What, that can't be all!?" Caesar exclaimed after a silent moment.

"Thanks to the generosity of the Capitol we've never been closer." Katniss says.

Peeta chuckled good-heartedly. "Yeah, fifty yards to be exact."

Katniss laughed too, nudging Peeta like what he had said was really funny.

"How wonderful! Well, looks like that's all the time we have! We'll see you two here in the Capitol soon! Good luck on the Tour!"

"Thank you," they said in unison. Then the cameras shut off.

Peeta immediately turned to Katniss. "Are you ok?"

She warily met his eyes. "Yeah."

He knew she was lying. "Katniss you can tell me if something's wrong."

"Everything's fine." She smiled, but he could see right through it.

"Ok…"

She kissed him softly on the lips. When they broke apart Effie cooed over how cute they were, and how they did a good job. Peeta saw Katniss look at him wearily. Effie then told them that it was time to board the train. They didn't need to pack anything because there would be stuff in their rooms on the train. Katniss went back to her house to say good bye to her family, and Peeta went to Haymitch's to get him on the train.

He knocked on the door but opened it anyway, knowing that Haymitch was probably passed out somewhere. Peeta found him sitting at the kitchen table, head down, bottle clutched in one hand. "Haymitch." Peeta said, standing in the doorway. No response. Peeta walked closer and called his name again. He saw a pitcher of water, thought about dumping it on him, but then thought better of it. He never forgot the time when Haymitch punched him in the face on the train on their way to the Capitol. He stood beside Haymitch and poked him in the shoulder. "Haymitch wake up. It's time to leave."

Haymitch let out a snore. Peeta sighed. "Haymitch! Wake up or I'm going to throw out all your alcohol!" He reached over and snatched the bottle from Haymitch's hand. He backed away just in time before Haymitch roared and got up, wielding a knife. He stared at Peeta and the bottle in his hand with wild eyes.

"What the hell?" Haymitch yelled. "Gimme that back!" He stuck out his hand.

Peeta kept a cool demeanor. "Put the knife down, Haymitch. Calm down."

Haymitch dropped the knife onto the table. "Happy?"

Peeta held the bottle out, and Haymitch grabbed it. He took a long swig and then looked suspiciously at Peeta. "What're you doing here, kid?"

"It's Tour Day. The train is going to leave soon."

"How wonderful." Haymitch took another swig.

"Come on, there's more liquor on the train." Peeta said. He gave Haymitch a once over. "Maybe you should change your clothes first."

Haymitch mumbled something rude while brushing past Peeta to go upstairs. Peeta yelled upstairs that he was going to go say good bye to his family before they had to leave. Haymitch told him, "Get out then!" so he did.

He started off to the bakery, avoiding eye contact with anyone he saw, knowing they'd all be staring at him, judging him, sneering with hate or looking at him in fear. When it was finally in sight, he let out a big breath. He hurried over and opened the door, welcomed by the warmth and scent of baking bread. His second oldest brother, Brennan was working the counter. This was the brother that had embarrassed him and Katniss when he came to their house that one time. He smirked a little when he saw Peeta.

"Hey."

"Hey." Peeta replied. "I'm leaving for the Tour today. I just wanted to come and say good bye to you guys."

"Everyone's in the back." Brennan said. Peeta nodded and went to seek out the rest of his family. He found his oldest brother first, filling pastries with cream. Rye pulled Peeta into a playful headlock and madly ruffled his hair. Peeta laughed and shoved his brother off.

"I'm off for the Tour. I won't see you guys for a while."

"Alright. Have fun, good luck. Tell Katniss I say hi." Peeta nodded and gave Rye a final good bye. He went into the next room and saw his mother rolling some bread and his father tending to bread in the oven. His mother stopped what she was doing when she saw him.

She slightly narrowed her eyes, but Peeta walked past her, over to his father. His dad seemed to know what day it was because he embraced Peeta. "Don't get into any trouble." His father said.

"I'll try not to." Peeta laughed. "I'll miss you, Dad."

"I'll miss you too. Good luck."

"Thanks. Do you mind keeping an eye on Katniss's mom and sister?"

Before his dad could answer, his mother cut in sharply. "Your father has enough to worry about. He doesn't need to babysit that woman and her daughter. They were just fine during the Games, I think they'll manage."

Peeta turned to face his mother. "Would you like to do it then, Mother?"

"Like hell." She growled.

"That's why I didn't ask you. All I would like is to make sure nothing bad happens to them. Katniss seemed a little weird after visiting with them today. I just want to make sure they're ok."

His mother scoffed and turned back to her work. Peeta sighed. "I'll keep an eye out." His father said.

Peeta turned back to his dad. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

His dad nodded and Peeta left. He said bye to Brennan at the counter, ignoring the inappropriate question he asked about whether or not he thought the train was going to rock a lot. Sure, it angered him that his brother was rude and immature, but nothing he could say would change him.

He opened the door, getting a cold blast of air in his face. He shivered and headed off towards the train station. He saw several Peacekeepers lined up at the station, weapons poised. He narrowed his eyes skeptically as he walked by all of them to board the train. Why were there so many of them? He got on the train quickly and let out a breath when the door glided shut. Peacekeepers had always bothered him.

He walked to the dining car, knowing that's where everyone would most likely be. Inside were Haymitch and Effie, Haymitch drowning himself in a drink and Effie reapplying a coat of make-up. Katniss wasn't in there yet, so Peeta guessed that she hadn't made it to the station yet. He sighed and looked around the dining car. There were several lavish treats spread out neatly on a table, the bar was occupied by Haymitch, and the table was set with four spots; intricately folded napkins sat atop each plate, silverware gleamed next to the dishes, glasses sparkled under the light.

He walked over to one of the armchairs and ran his hand over the back of the soft material. Memories of walking onto the train for the first time flooded back, hitting Peeta like blow to the stomach. He shut his eyes and gripped the back of the chair, trying to fight away the images, the fear he had felt, the certainty of his death, the shock of being forced into a terrifying situation with the girl he had loved for so many years.

"Peeta, are you alright darling?" Effie asked, putting down her make-up brush.

He opened his eyes and tried to relax his rigid muscles. "Yeah."

"Good. Sit down, eat something." She said, gesturing to the table behind her.

Peeta still felt uneasy, but he let go of the chair and went to go sit down on the couch. He wished Katniss was here. "Effie, why are there so many Peacekeepers outside?" Peeta asked, trying to sound casual.

Effie puffed out a little breath. "I'm not sure. They're not very nice, are they? They practically shoved me onto the train!"

"I'm sorry, Effie. That's not very nice of them."

"Thank you. You'd think with all their training that they'd learn some manners. It's really just ridiculous. Why should anyone be treated so poorly?"

Peeta stared at Effie in disbelief. Being forced to get on the train seemed like a crime to her. She had no idea how badly people could be treated, not the slightest idea of the hardships they had to endure, especially people in Twelve.

"No one deserves to be treated poorly." Was all he said.

Effie nodded in agreement and started looking at herself in the mirror again. He glanced over at Haymitch, who was eyeing Peeta suspiciously. Peeta held his stare, setting his jaw. Haymitch let out a short, breathy laugh and raised his drink to his lips.

"We haven't even left yet, Haymitch, and you're already having too much fun." Peeta turned his head to see Katniss walking into the car. Instant relief flooded through Peeta. He stood up and walked over to her, pulling her into a strong hug.

"What took you so long?" He asked.

"Peeta, I've only been gone for a half hour."

"I thought the Peacekeepers gave you trouble or something."

Katniss abruptly pulled back, her hands curling tightly into the back of his shirt. "Why would you think that?" Her eyes were full of alarm.

He knit his brows slightly, confused about her reaction. "Effie said they weren't very nice to her when she was getting onto the train."

"Oh." She relaxed and let go of his shirt. "No, I was just spending a little more time with my family, and then I went to go see Madge."

"Oh." Peeta's arms fell to his sides. He felt sheepish about the way he reacted. "I'm sorry." He muttered, looking down at the floor.

Katniss reached up and cupped his face, seeking his eyes with her own. "Hey," she said softly. Peeta looked at her. "It's ok. Don't be sorry, Peeta. Thank you for the concern." She stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"You know I'll always be concerned for you." He said, smiling crookedly.

Katniss smiled. "I know. Same goes for you."

Peeta smiled wider before leaning down and pressing his lips against hers in a tender kiss.

"Ugh, come on. There are no cameras, you don't have to do that." Haymitch groaned. Peeta could tell that Haymitch was starting to get drunk.

"Oh, you mean this?" Peeta wrapped his arms around Katniss waist and brought her flush against him. He kissed her again, this time more passionately. Katniss wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her toes, trying to get more. Haymitch groaned loudly, telling them to stop. Neither listened, just continued kissing. Effie cleared her throat loudly, and they finally pulled away. Katniss had an adorable blush across her cheeks. Effie tapped her brush against her palm.

"Now that is enough of that. You can do whatever you want in privacy, but in front of other people, that isn't very polite."

"Sorry, Effie." Peeta said. "I just can't help myself sometimes."

Katniss giggled and laced her fingers with his. The door opened behind them, and they turned to see who it was. It was a Peacekeeper. Katniss backed away, pressing her shoulder against Peeta's back. Peeta looked at her, concerned by her reaction.

The Peacekeeper removed his helmet. He wasn't really all that scary looking without the helmet covering his face. He was rather young, dark skin and hair, but he had cold eyes. "We will be leaving for District Eleven now. We will arrive there approximately at ten thirty tomorrow morning. Dinner will be served at five thirty. Breakfast tomorrow will be served at eight. Please do not wander around. Certain cars have been made off limits. Areas you're welcome to stay in are the dining car, your private rooms, the closet car, and the sitting area in the caboose."

Peeta didn't recall so many instructions and rules last time they were on the train. He didn't bother asking questions though, because the Peacekeeper didn't look like he wanted to answer any.

"Oh, alright," Effie finally spoke up. "Thank you."

The man nodded, then left. Peeta fully turned to Katniss. She had a scowl on her face. "Don't remember having so many rules last time." She muttered.

"I guess that's because we were petrified Tributes, being sent off for death. They wanted us to feel pampered and special before we were used for their entertainment by slaughter."

"Peeta!" Effie exclaimed.

"What?"

"Watch what you say." Haymitch answered for her with a warning tone, giving Peeta a hard look. He didn't seem so drunk anymore.

"You should be grateful for what you have now. You've earned it." Effie said.

"By killing people." Katniss said. Effie gasped, but Katniss wasn't done. Peeta could see her starting to get really worked up. She dropped his hand. "The only reason we're here," she paused, gesturing around her and to Peeta, "is because we killed people. Kids. We killed other children so we could survive. And if we didn't, then they would have killed us. We're just expected to be perfectly fine after becoming Victors. To remember all the brave warriors who fought and died, and live happily ever after when we've come out alive." Her voice had risen and she was practically screaming. Peeta looked at her, startled. "We're supposed to forget how that happened, how they were murdered for nothing. Forget watching people be killed, killing people yourself, and being so near death that you almost want it." Her voice was now a whisper. Peeta shuddered at her words, every single one of them rang with so much meaning. "Forget the terror you felt, pretend that terror doesn't rip through you at night, causing you to wake up screaming, trembling with fear." She was trembling, but she spoke a little louder. "How is anyone supposed to forget that, huh? How are we supposed to live the rest of our lives so afraid? Let me tell you, Effie, I don't care if you think I've earned anything, if anyone thinks that. I am not grateful. I'm not grateful that now I live with a horror more prominent than any other fears I've ever had before." Peeta saw tears starting to form in her eyes and she ran out of the car.

He shakily ran a hand through his hair. Effie's mouth was gaping, but Peeta could find no words. He agreed completely with what Katniss had said. He knew he had to go find her. He set off in the direction she fled. He went through a several cars looking for her; she wasn't in her room, or his, or the closet car. She was in the caboose, sitting on the chair and staring out the window at the land passing by them.

"I'm not in the mood for a lecture. I'll apologize to Effie later, even though I'm not sorry." She said numbly, still staring out the window.

"I'm not going to lecture you." He said softly. She turned at the sound of his voice.

"P-Peeta. I thought you were Haymitch." She said. Her face was a mixture of emotions. Sadness, relief to see him, fear. He walked over to her and sat down beside her. He stretched out his arm and wrapped it around Katniss's shoulders, wrapping the other around her waist, pulling her onto his lap. She buried her face in his neck and he held her trembling body, whispering gently in her ear, telling her that everything was going to be ok and how much he loved her.