Chapter 2 – A million miles of blurring perfection
Aaron slowly walked away, down the stairs and into the hallway of the building where his apartment was situated. The building was empty, the other apartments yet to be occupied. Aaron stood still, staring at the door. The very door he was lent against, all those months ago, to hold him up from the heartfelt words Jackson had spoken, that stunned his mind, warmed his heart and lightened his soul.
Replaying the words in his head, and feeling how he felt, in that exact moment.
"I love you Aaron, I will love you for life."
Tears gently seeped around his mouth, Aaron was smiling, but dying, holding onto the memory, holding onto the vanishing light.
Jackson made his way out of his apartment, running down the stairs. He saw him, curled up on the floor, leaning against the door,
He stared, he stared at him for minutes, just staring.
Aaron lifted his gaze from the floor, noticing Jackson for the first time. Jackson moved, his face, seething with rage, coming to stand over Aaron.
"HAVENT YOU LEARNT ANYTHING AARON? DONT YOU EVER, EVER SAY THAT AGAIN! YOU ARE NOT DAMAGED! ...YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN DAMAGED GOODS!"
Jackson was trembling, shaking with rage, he continued to stare Aaron down.
Aaron looked towards the floor. Gazing at his tear stained hands. Before opening his heart, pouring his soul onto the ground, the man he is, now was, dissolving on the floor. His voice, barely a whisper.
"You said, you would love me for life".
Jackson, Anger evaporating into the atmosphere, stepped back a few feet away from him, looking at the little lost boy before him, he turned his back to him, before speaking.
"Aaron I, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry".
And he truly was.
Aaron sobbed, his tears, running down his face, rubbing salt into his wounds, releasing soft delicate murmurs from his pain.
Upon hearing him, Jackson closed his eyes, and began to break. His soul splitting his world in two, the tears he tried so desperately to restrain, were set free.
The malice he had forced around his heart, crumbled, taken way.
For he, was swimming away, from the sharks of the ocean.
Of all the things Aaron could have said, he goes and says something, that just knocks Jackson dead, "You said, you would love you for life". The words, suffocating Jackson, his breathing, irregular.
But he has to remain strong, but his resolve is loosening, slipping away from his grasp.
He holds onto the wall before him, looking at the wall, searching for the writing to help him, to give him clarity.
He doesn't think, he just speaks. Not moving from his position, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"How many people last forever with their first love? It doesn't happen Aaron, you will want to experience life with other men at some point!"
Aaron, his words settling into his system, moves from the floor, now leaning against the door. Confusion clouding his thought process.
"What?"
His question goes unanswered.
Aaron, his mind racing, trying to put the pieces together quickly.
Suddenly, it hits him. Jackson, the sensible one, able to soothe Aaron's ghosts away, the man with all the answers. Now, eaten alive by insecurities, mirroring his own reflection, Aaron and Jackson...are now, the same person.
The panic stricken teenager, willing himself to speak, but having no idea how to handle this situation.
"You think I'm gonna leave ya, and, be with someone else?"
Jackson, still staring at the wall, did not answer.
Aaron, could not see the tears he was crying, spoke again, frustration evident in his tone.
"It's not fair, that you think that I will stray, because you think it inevitable because you're the only man I have ever been with, that I need to play the field and sleep around...WELL YOU DONT KNOW ME VERY WELL DO YA! He screamed, screaming in sheer desperation.
Jackson, turned to face him. Jackson's face, tarnished with tears, blurring his perfection. Looking into soft, broken blue eyes, speaking, from the heart.
"I know you think I'm perfect, I try, I try so hard I really try to be for you, but I'm not. Being with someone else will make you realise I am not."
Aaron tried to protest but Jackson spoke quickly before him.
"You're strong now Aaron, you only needed me, for a while, just until you were ready to face the world on your own, and you are now".
Tears corrupted Aaron's vision, Jackson's words, just words.
Jackson, looking towards the floor, tears running furiously, dropping to the ground, stars, deliberately taken from the night, crashing to the earth. No light, no sound, nothing, there's nothing left.
"I have to let you go Aaron, I have to set you free".
They both stood there, the temperature, cold, numbness constricting around their core. The floor, splitting their world, separating them, millions of miles apart.
Their tears, flowing into the night.
The silence lasted a life time, before Jackson looked up, viewing the lifeless soul in front of him, forcing a small smile to his lips, before speaking.
"You won't love me forever Aaron, you will move on, I'm".
Jackson, caught, choking on his words, once again staring towards the floor.
"I'm nothing special, I'm, nothing ".
Aaron, digested his words. Before, the anger, built up inside of him. Losing his head, his sense of rationality, he stared at the man before him, breathing in all the essences of his soul mate, breathing in his sole purpose for life. Before speaking, fast and furiously, not stopping for air, the wonders of Jackson.
TBC